Loki x Reader: Into the MCU

Chapter 36: [Insert Title I'll Think of Tomorrow When I'm Not Tired]

Notes: I have not proof-read this as much as I should, so sorry for anything I missed.

You smiled at the letter, forgetting, briefly, that you were in front of the team.

"No no no, don't smile! This isn't a smiling affair, ok? He just strapped you down to a table and fried your insides!" Tony marched the distance to you, snatching the note from your hands.

"That's a gross way of putting it," you mumbled as he scanned the contents of the page.

"Listen to this guy!" he exclaimed to the others, "He holds no grudges??? Oh, great, I was really worried there for a second that you'd hurt his feelings! And get this, 'I am sure, despite your desire to be angry, you are equally as understanding of my position'?! Look though! He took no pleasure in hurting you, that's good!" Tony continued sarcastically.

You remained silent, waiting for him to finish before asking for the letter back. He obliged, but not before noticing your stance. The rest of them had picked up on it as well, all eyes now on you.

"What?" you asked, feeling uncomfortable under their gaze.

"You really aren't angry," Nat said.

"Your demeanor and facial displays as Mr. Stark criticized the letter would indicate you do not find fault with the words as he does," Vision elaborated.

"No, no I'm mad at being electrocuted, guys, who wouldn't be?!"

"Yes, I can tell you're simply overcome with the need for vengeance," Valkyrie mocked.

"Vengeance is stupid," you responded bluntly, "It's what keeps the cycle going. Zemo did what he did because of his burning desire for revenge, can't you see it's the problem here? Like it or not, Zemo isn't wrong about me...I do understand. Do I agree? No, but I don't have to. He doesn't agree with me, but he's not lying when he says he respects my decision and didn't want to hurt me."

"This whole defending villains thing has got to stop," Tony warned, "You'll admire them right into your grave if you can't discern the difference between a lost cause and someone worth saving!"

You glanced to Loki, whose jaw tightened. His eyes were focused on Stark, but they flickered sadly to you, both of you making eye-contact for the smallest of moments.

"Zemo's problem, Tony, is that he's deemed all of you a lost cause! It's not your fault, but the truth is that you murdered his family! Do I hold it against any of you? No, because you do your best to save people, and sometimes you can't save them all. Sometimes mistakes are made, and you have to do your best to move past it. You don't wallow in self-loathing, you don't shift the blame, you pick yourself up and try to do better! Zemo can't see that about you guys, because he is so blinded by his crushing grief. He made a promise to his dead family, and being unable to keep it is breaking him! Maybe he is a lost cause!" you tossed your hands in the air, "Maybe I should say 'To hell with their motives, I'm gonna hate them!' But you know what? That's the easy way out. Hating someone is a lot easier than understanding them, because now you're in a tough spot. How do you jostle being tortured, yet feeling sympathetic for your torturer? You think it's an easy place to be in?? I don't know what to feel about any of it! But do not come at me for trying to understand villains, Tony! Villain and hero depends greatly on who is telling the story. To him, you're the villains. So I will never excuse his actions, but I can damn well explain them, even sympathize with his motives. Holding out hope that people like him can be healed can yield far better results than deeming him a hopeless case. Was Wanda a lost cause? Or Nat? Or even you Tony? Sometimes, taking the time to understand a villain can be the best thing we ever choose to do." You looked over at Loki during the last part. His eyebrows were raised innocently, taking in everything you were saying, but a soft smile broke on his face as you finished.

"Zemo has proven he's not afraid to hurt you, even if he doesn't want to," Steve said, "You don't have to hate him, but please be careful with how much you let your guard down with him?"

"I never said anything about letting my guard down, Cap. It's not like I'll go try to find him again because I like talking to him."

"If he doesn't want to be saved, don't risk yourself trying to do it, kid," Tony spoke kinder than before.

"I also never said anything about trying to save him," you assured him with a chuckle, "I understand Thanos' position too, and sympathize with the burden he thinks he carries. And maybe he's not a lost cause, but I'd save my breath trying to change him because even his own daughter's life wasn't enough to snap him out of it, pun intended. Just because I don't view Zemo as a lost cause who I should hate and want to kill, doesn't mean I'm going to go preaching to him. Believe me, I've made my case quite clear to him. He understands my arguments, he just won't let himself see past his pain. There's not much more I can do about it. But I won't sit here and deny that I don't get where he's coming from and I don't really hate him, even for what he did. Unlike Loki, who I knew was a good guy playing at being bad...yes you were, don't give me that look...Zemo is a good guy turned bad through his emotions. And we're never shown a moment where he wants to change or does change, because he thinks he's completely justified. He may very well be a lost cause in that sense, but I'll hold onto the Zemo underneath...even if he never gives up on his mission."

"Let's hope that mission never involves you again, you're no longer allowed anywhere without me," Tony ordered.

"May I see?" Steve asked, nodding to the letter.

You handed it to him, and he read it quietly, sighing in the end.

"It seems he's anticipating seeing you again. If he's as driven as you've said, he'll keep coming."

"I have no idea how...I mean, he has the book. But tearing you and Tony apart was a key step in his plan, not to mention he capitalizes off of the Sokovia Accords, which will never happen as long as I can help it. He needs you guys to fall apart from the inside. Any secrets here that are so important one of you would fight someone else if it was spilled?" you scoffed, looking around the group.

"You'd know more about that than any of us," Sam noted.

"Fair, but there could be another secret or something the directors would have gone with if not the Bucky thing. I only know of that secret because that's what Zemo was supposed to target."

"Did you tell him about the Accords?" Bruce asked.

"Hell no, I'm not that dumb."

"Good, because if he knew that a major part of his success is due the conflict those accords start within the team, we'd be at risk of some sort of manipulation," he explained.

"You think he could stage an accident, provoke a public scene? With me, I presume," Wanda said discouragingly, looking down at her feet.

"Anyone here would work if he wanted to do that, but, yes, he'd go for you if he knew that's what works in the future," you said, unable to lie to her.

"Well, he doesn't know, does he?" Thor said optimistically, "So I say we don't let these thoughts trouble us, and we stick together. We're the Avengers!" he said, shaking his fists motivationally in front of him, "Who could split us apart?" he smiled, throwing his arm over Nat's shoulder on his right and Loki on his left, the latter promptly shrugging it off. Nat, though not pulling away, gave Thor a look.

"Zemo," she said.

"Who could split us apart twice?" he corrected, "Or...well, early, not twice, because he hasn't done it yet. But, in theory, he--he is the one to pull us apart with his original plan, so, were he to do it this time, though for the first time in--in this world, it would be like the second time, because it would require a second plan, which you could say is, in fact, the second time because it is the second plan ever to succeed," he rambled, using his hands to keep track of what he was saying, "So what plan or person could successfully split us apart twice?" he concluded, nodding confidently.

"Well said," you smiled, unable to say it seriously.

"Oh try explaining it better!" he challenged, folding his arms.

"We should get you inside," Rhodey addressed you, "You still look like shit."

"Well I was just tortured, what's your excuse?"

"Ok, I was trying to be thoughtful! Now I remember why I usually don't bother."

"Aw Rhodeeey," you laughed, as he started walking away, "I'm sorryyy!"

"You're just trying to save your frozen yogurt," he accused, though he'd stopped his departure

"What? Frozen yogurt? I-I don't even like frozen yogurt!"

"Mhmm, yeah sure," he nodded as you spoke.

"What is this frozen yogurt?" Thor asked.

"None of you have given Thor frozen yogurt?!" you gasped in exaggerated horror, "Thor, it's a dessert, you're gonna love it."

"Why was I not privy to this dessert?" Thor asked offendedly, looking around the group for an answer.

"It's not like you stick around long," Clint said.

"Yes, but you could have beamed some up if you cared!" Thor shot back.

"God, I'll buy you the whole shop if you'll shut up!" Tony groaned.

"Will I get to eat for free?" Thor said like he was considering the offer.

"Eat for fr---? I'm not actually going to buy the store!"

"Then no deal."

Tony opened his mouth to speak but paused, resisting the remark he looked like he eagerly wanted to make.

"You know what, let's--let's just get inside before I lose more braincells from this conversation," he sighed.

Wanda hesitated next to you as the others started filing out, making sure you were good enough to walk in without help. You told her you were fine, but she remained close just in case. Loki lingered as well, meeting your eyes with the unspoken question, same as Wanda's, on his face. You nodded, flexing jokingly with your silly "I'm tough" face on. He rolled his eyes, smiling at your stupidity. Like Wanda, he also remained in the back of the group with you. The team reached the compound, making to head their separate ways, when you remembered something.

"Guys guys, wait hold up!"

"What, are you ok kid? What do you need?" Tony asked quickly, walking to you.

"No yeah, I'm fine, I just remembered something. Hydra has MCU version of me! That's why they recognized me!"

Shockingly, no one looked surprised by that information.

"Yeah, we uh, we know, kid," Tony said.

"We found her in the facility we searched when trying to track you," Steve explained, "Turns out she's been missing for a few months. Her family, well your family, were happy to know she's safe." 

"Oh my god, where is she? Or where am I?"

"In a hospital at the moment," Nat said, "She'll take some time to recover, but she's going to be ok."

"How did you guys forget to tell me?!"

"We thought it best that, given the physical and potentially mental strain you'd endured, it'd be best to wait until you were fully recovered before disclosing information we thought would shock you," Vision explained.

"Well, it was shocking, but yeah no Zemo already told me. He was the one who led you guys to Hydra. He doesn't like them any more than we do and he wanted those people rescued."

"Aw how sweet of him," Tony said sarcastically.

"I was wondering who dropped the tip," Steve said, "I guess that answers it."

"What was she like?" you asked, "Like, I get it younger and all but like, did she say anything?"

"Let's just say, there was no denying she's you," Loki said,  "When I entered the room, she, though in a hazy state of mind, said 'It's the attractive asshole who attacked New York.'"

"Ha! That's definitely me," you laughed.

"Yeah she was out of it, so her questions were flying more than yours usually are," Sam chuckled, "She asked if I ever use my wings to just fly out my window when I want to."

"Hell, I would!"

"That's what she said," he smiled.

"She also asked how my hair looks so good even when fighting," Nat said.

"And how I fit through doors with arms this big," Thor added.

"Oh my gosh I wanna meet myself!"

"Ha, yeah, nope," Tony said, "That girl has been through too much to have to deal with you fangirling over yourself. We're trying not to freak her out any more than she already is."

"Oh come on, it's me! You know I would be as thrilled to see myself as I currently am."

"Can you call you I and her her?" Clint asked, "Confusing the hell out of me right now."

"So you want me to call me I and me her?" you said to purposefully mess with him, "So I am I, but I am also her, so who is me if both of me are I and her?"

"I don't get paid enough for this," Clint groaned.

Thor was looking thoughtfully at the ceiling as he quietly repeated what you'd said, using his hands to try to keep track in the same way as he'd done earlier. Evidently unable to make sense of your nonsensical words, his hands dropped to his sides as he stared into space in confusion.

 "One of you is too much already, we're leaving her alone," Tony declared.

"What if she has any info on the portal?" you asked, "Zemo said they opened it."

"They did," Steve said, "We got them before they could erase their records or security footage."

"Turns out, our man Rumlow was having fun with the leftovers of Strucker's experiments, trying to crack the power of the mind, enhance it, much like..." he glanced over at Wanda, "...well---"

"Me," she said, unashamedly, and you were proud of her for not being as afraid of owning up to her powers as she sometimes is.

"They expected to do this without the actual Mind Stone though?" you asked.

"May not be as crazy as it sounds," Tony said, pulling out a device and casting hologram video footage into the middle of the room. 

The film was from the point of view of a security camera. The scene below was your stereotypical experiment/torture set up. The patient was strapped down on a table, a few people in lab coats standing over them. Trays, with syringes and other devices you didn't want to know the use of, were on the tables next to the prisoner. The head doctor stepped aside, and you recognized the face of your younger self lying there, looking like they'd been through hell. There was an apparatus strapped to her head. Slight movement was the only indication that she was awake. She was hooked up to machines that monitored her vitals and whatever brain activity they were testing. 

"We are trying an enhanced dose of Serum 3B," the man said for the record, taking a vial from another worker across the table and filling a syringe with it. "Patient 4 had increased activity when exposed to it yesterday. Testing to see whether increased voltage or dosage yields any further progress." He injected the liquid in her arm, and she didn't even flinch. He walked over to a monitor, before nodding to someone off screen, "Proceed in 3, 2, 1."

Your younger self started writhing, screaming as the pain shot through her head. You winced at the sight, remembering your similar experience earlier. Clint put a comforting hand on your shoulder as you continued to stare at the video.

"Sir, look," one of the guys near the machines called. Some reading was interesting enough to consume all of their attention, except for one guy who had to remain near her vitals.

"Sir, should we pause?" he yelled over to the group, "The patient may not be able to take much more."

The head doctor ignored the suggestion, not even looking up from his screen. Suddenly, the lights started flickering, with something starting to materialize in the air above yourself. A small circle formed, growing as she screamed louder than before. The doctors scrambled, not knowing what to do with the portal they'd just created. The machines in the room started sparking, and the camera glitched out briefly. This continued for a minute or so, before the anomaly disappeared.

"Turn it off!" the doctor yelled. The power source cut out, and your younger self fell limp on the table. He ran over to your side, examining you. "She is alive," he confirmed.

"There was a voice in there!" one of the men said, pointing to the now empty space in the air.

"Bring up those readings on it's energy signature!" the scientist ordered, "I want scans out now, see if there were any others like it. If there was someone on the other side, I want to know where that is and who they are!"

Tony swiped the footage away. "You know the rest. They trace it here, Rumlow comes for you, and so forth."

"Right....where is Rumlow?"

"He's got a top of the line cell in a very fine establishment," Tony assured you, "Weather's a little rough, but you can't beat the solitude. Waves are said to be calming, and the dude could do with a little less anger if you ask me."

"He's in the Raft?" you asked hopefully.

"You bet your villain-loving-ass he is. Son of bitch deserves nothing less."

"That's the best news I've heard all day," you smiled.

"That's one mystery solved," Cap said regarding the footage, "The portal was opened to you by your version here."

"How did it come at the exact time I was wishing the MCU was real?"

"Maybe that's the key," Bruce said, "Your version here, her mind reaches out. And somewhere out there, through time and space, is you, concentrating on this universe and how you want to come here. The connection is made, your minds momentarily linked."

"How did the site change from Hydra to here?" Rhodey asked.

"It's possible that, as her version here got weaker, Wren's will overtook the destination. Wren, were you thinking the portal was to the MCU as you were going through it, or even while you were just contemplating jumping?" Bruce asked.

"I wouldn't have jumped if I thought it was anything else."

"Exactly, so your desire to come here and meet us, help us...that's what did it."

"I did feel this pain in the back of my head throughout it all...when the portal appeared, when I was thinking about going through it."

"That would be your connection to your other self," Bruce nodded.

So if I only came here because of some other universe's experiments...how am I getting home?

Your thoughts must have shown on your face.

"Hey, are you ok?" Bruce asked.

"What?" you asked, snapping out of it.

"You look like someone just killed your puppy in front of you," Tony said.

"An exaggeration, but yeah you don't look good," Sam agreed.

"It's just crazy, and I feel so bad for her...as in other me. I think I just need some sleep, I don't feel 100%."

"See, this is why we weren't going to tell you until you were better, but you had to go and bring it up," Tony chided.

"Yeah well, I thought you should know. I've learned my lesson about holding information." You knew you were only getting emotional and bitter because you were tired and worried about the news you'd just learned, so you walked away quickly before Tony could respond or anyone could ask what was wrong. "Thanks for getting me guys," you waved as you walked away, "I'll see you later."

Moving quickly down the hall revealed how sore you felt. You hated to admit that you were breathing a little heavier than usual just from walking. Arriving outside your door, you stopped just before grabbing the handle. 

Is Bucky in his room?

You desperately wanted to talk to him, to let him know he shouldn't be upset. Tentatively, you stepped over to his door, rapping your knuckles on the glossy wood.

"Bucky?" you called out, "Buck? Hey it's me, I---"

The door was ripped open, Bucky standing there with wide eyes.

"Oh thank god," he said, hugging you before you had time to react.

"I thought the same thing when they told me you were ok," you smiled, returning the hug.

He quickly pulled away, looking apologetic as he tried to subtly move a step back.

"Bucky? What's the matter?"

"I...I didn't know if you'd want me t---I mean, I don't think I should be, after what they said I did to you---"

"Buck," you interrupted, "I'm not gonna be afraid of being near you, and I'm certainly not gonna be afraid of hugging you."

"You should be," he said solemnly, "They told me I...are those from me?" he asked is disgust, pointing to your neck.

"What?" you asked, feeling where he was pointing. Your throat felt a little sore, but you couldn't tell if it was from screaming or something else.

"You have bruises."

"Do you mind?" you asked, stepping into his room and pointing to the bathroom, wanting to see for yourself.

"No of course, go ahead," he shook his head.

The bruises he saw were very little, slight marks here or there, where a finger squeezed too tightly, that were only a light shade discolored.

"No one else pointed that out," you said, walking back out, "Probably because it's not that bad," you assured him, "Really, Bucky, it's fine. I didn't even feel any pain all day, it's ok."

"I'm sorry," he said again, looking sickened with himself.

"How many times am I gonna have to say it's ok before you stop beating yourself up?" you said lightheartedly, "We've been through this, it's not your fault, it's out of your control."

"I need to get out of here. As long as whoever it was has the book, I can't be trusted."

"It was Zemo...the guy from Civil War. He's trying to find a different way to break the Avengers now that I've stopped Cap and Tony from going at it."

"What did he want you for?"

"Information on how he succeeds. He's figured I've told Tony about his parents, so he wants the rest of the details. Any info to help him."

"What did he do?" Bucky asked seriously, stepping closer as his eyes narrowed and scanned your appearance, "Wren, you look and sound like hell...and your head..." he pointed, and you knew what he was looking at. 

"Zemo had me hooked up to something, it's just the marks from that," you said, not wanting to make him feel more guilty.

"Hooked up to what?" he demanded, "They look like burns."

You sighed, nodding your head. "It's from the electricity," you said quietly.

Bucky didn't speak, but his face said it all. He was hating himself.

"Please, don't do that, I know that look. It was Zemo, not you."

"Where is he now?" he said in low tone.

You shook your head. "We don't know. He made it out before the team got there."

"We'll find him," Bucky said, looking fiercely determined, "But until then, I have to leave. He knows where to find me."

"I promised you that we'd get you free. I was stupid enough to think we had time, but my inability to protect against the worst possible outcome has put us in danger too many times. We're getting you to Wakanda, as soon as possible. I don't care how long it takes to get T'Chaka on board, we need their help."

"Thank you," he said quietly.

"It's my fault for not getting you there in the first place."

"You couldn't have predicted what was going to happen."

"And you couldn't prevent what you did, so I'll stop blaming myself when you do. Deal?"

Bucky managed a little smile. "Deal."

"Alrighty then. Now, are you going to let me hug you?" you opened your arms, smiling stupidly.

Bucky smirked, walking over to fulfill your request.

"Good, cuz I need a hug," you said as he pulled you in.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sensing something more behind your words.

"Nothing...it's just been a long day."

"You sure?" he asked as you pulled back.

"Yup, promise," you grinned, "I'm fine."

"Ok."

"I should probably sleep some more, Banner drugged me up," you said, walking for the door, "We'll get to work on Wakanda first thing tomorrow!"

You closed his door, allowing your face to drop once out of sight. You were suddenly exhausted, and you couldn't stop panicking about your portal home. Not that living in the MCU permanently wasn't an enjoyable concept, but to have just left without ever saying goodbye to your parents? Or friends? You thought of how desperately you wanted to tell them about everything that had happened, and that thought made you miss those closest to you, adding to your woes. You blinked back the urge to tear up.

I've cried enough already. There's no need to freak out.

"Darling?"

You jumped, drawn out of your thoughts by Loki's presence. He must have been walking towards you as you came out of Buck's room, but you'd been too preoccupied. You hadn't even noticed that you were now just standing in the hall staring at your door.

"Yeah hey, what's up?" you said too hastily, trying to play off your worries.

Loki just raised his eyebrows.

"I'm fine," you said, smiling as you stepped to your door.

"I never said otherwise."

"No, but your looks did."

Loki followed you into your room, closing the door behind him.

"Besides, why else would you be here?"

"Perhaps I wanted to see a friend."

"Clearly your friend is fine."

"Are you?" he asked, unconvinced.

You distracted yourself with selecting some new clothes from your drawers, which you'd eventually stocked so you didn't have to walk down the hall for them every time.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be? Zemo will have to do more than a few shocks to get at me," you returned, keeping your back to him as you fiddled with the same shirt.

"Because of the portal," Loki stated, not bothering to word it as a question. He knew.

You stopped fidgeting, letting the clothes fall back in the drawer.

"Sounds like you already know, so I don't know why you're asking," you said sadly, still not turning to face him. You knew your eyes must look on the verge of tears.

"If you'll recall, I never asked until you denied it. Of course I knew. You can lie to the others, but not to me."

"Gosh, I hate that about you," you snickered, finally turning around. "Yes...I'm sad," you tossed your hands out in gesture of defeat, "Are you happy? I said it!"

The tears started coming then, prickling at your eyes as you bit your lip, trying to hold them back. One made it out, and you quickly wiped it away, sniffing as you walked to your bed.

"Would you like to...talk about it?" Loki asked, sounding like someone who wasn't used to this sort of thing.

You smiled at his attempt, sitting on the edge of the bed facing him.

"I don't think it'll do much," you said, another tear escaping, which you promptly wiped away, "If Hydra's experiments opened the portal, and I only came here because of the other me, then I'm not getting home. It's not so bad, really, I mean, living here and all. I mean, there's awesome tech, and you guys and and magic and Asgard and flying suits and..." you rambled pathetically, finally trailing off as the tears were becoming too much to hold in, and you had to look down to hide your face as you wiped them away. 

You felt Loki sit next to you, a hand hesitantly resting itself on your shoulder.

"But...?" he pressed kindly.

"But...never getting to say goodbye to people? Not only does it hurt for me...I've hurt them. My parents will never hear from me again. And they'll always wonder...how could I do that to them? I don't even remember the last thing I said to my mom, but what if it was something bad or stupid? How could I have left her like that? Yes, I know how, but I didn't even hesitate in leaving, barely thinking of my parents. I am a horrible daughter."

Loki let you sit quietly for a minute, only the sounds of your sniffs and hushed sobs breaking the silence.

"Do you know what my last words to my mother were?" Loki asked, and you turned to see a grave look on his face. 

You thought for a few seconds, eyes growing a little wider as you realized what the answer was. Loki saw your understanding, nodding softly with a sad smile.

"Yes...she asked if she was not my mother...and I told her she wasn't. If there was ever an example of hurting your parents...of betraying them...of having the last thing you said be the worst, the last moment shared with them being so utterly wasted...it's me," he finished weakly, tapping himself in the chest as his eyes became watery. "Your parents would be proud of you. They'd be proud. You left out of the purest reasons, ones I can sit and mock every day but we both know are more respectable and honorable than I have ever been. I am truly sorry for you if you never see them again. But rest assured that they will never stop loving you, and they would be so proud of what you've done. I would rip apart every reality if I thought there was a chance I could make my mother proud, if there was a chance I could rest with the reassurance you possess...don't lose sight of that, Darling. Cherish it."

He looked ready to cry himself, and you did the instinctive thing by hugging him. His chin rested on your head as you wrapped around his chest from your sitting position, leaning against him.

"Thank you, Loki," you whispered, "Your mother is proud of you, and always has been."

You couldn't see Loki's face, but he wrapped his arms more securely around you, the two of you sitting in a silent, sad hug. He let you cry for a bit, and when you finally split apart, you were certain Loki had wiped a tear of his own away.

"Uh...sorry," you said, not knowing what else to do.

"No no, you're....it's ok. Here, let me take care of those marks," he said, promptly placing his hand on your forehead, healing the sore spots. He then did the same to your arms, which you thanked him for.

He cleared his throat, which you noticed he often did when the two of you got into overly emotional or awkward situations, standing from the bed.

"I...I want you to know that I'm glad you're back. And I'm sorry I couldn't get you from Barnes."

"Shut up, you saved the others and didn't kill Bucky and then helped get me."

Loki looked down at his hands briefly.

"I was...I was close to killing Barnes. I had him down, the knife ready in my hands. I could have done it...and oh did I want to."

"What stopped you?"

"You did. I knew you'd have been upset...well, devastated, had I gone through with it. I couldn't bring myself to do that."

You smiled at his explanation. "Thank you, Loki, really. I was kinda sorta freaking out that you were gonna kill him...I may have even punched Zemo over it."

"Of course you did," he chuckled.

"He got me back I guess," you laughed.

Loki's face dropped to a "That's too soon" expression.

"Yes, and he shall die for it."

"Lokiii, remember what I said about him. We're not gonna seek revenge just cuz he's lost his marbles. We'll catch him, and he'll...spend his days in jail like he's supposed to."

"Sweet Valhalla, naturally you're disappointed by that," he scoffed.

"What, I---"

"Oh please, you sounded like him spending eternity in jail was as sad as me gutting him, which is no less than he deserves."

"I--I don't know how to feel about it. If Zemo stays the way he is, I'm perfectly content having him locked away. I wish it didn't have to go that way, but it's looking like it will. I don't know, the whole thing is weird. I should hate him, I should want him to be punished for what he did...but maybe liking his character makes me biased? I don't know, you'd think my bias wouldn't extend to letting someone off the hook after electrocuting me. But spending time with him, hearing him speak and seeing him interact with me it's just...it's like my sympathy for him has increased, which it shouldn't have. Seeing someone who is driven mad to the point where they hurt someone when they don't want to? It's like nothing I've experienced before. Add onto that the fact that I already do have a bias for him, and how he is oddly fun and charming to talk to, and it's just such a weird scenario. You were easy compared to this. If you killed me you killed me, but I knew that in the end you'd reach where you needed to be. I just hoped I could save you from Thanos. But Zemo? His story isn't like yours, or nearly as well explored. I don't know what to think or what to do about liking someone who is currently plotting against us."

 "I could kill him, that would surely simplify things rather quickly don't you think?"

You gave Loki a look, to which he rolled his eyes.

"Fiiine, I'll let him live. Look, I understand better than anyone why you refuse to hate him. But I need to know that, when the time comes, you won't hesitate to put him where he belongs."

"Yeah, no, y'all can clap him in irons and ship him off to the Raft if you want, I'll get it. It may be what he deserves in the end. It all depends on what his next moves are. Does he go more extreme to try to overcome the advantage you guys have over him? Have I made him more desperate? Or have I prevented his only way of succeeding and he'll eventually give up?"

"Darling...he, if honest as you believe him to be, didn't wish to hurt you, yet look where we found you. If your pain wasn't enough to stop him, I don't think we can bet on him giving up."

"I know," you nodded disappointedly, "He's a compelling villain though. And the most compelling villains are usually so because they're capable of good, if they could get past what's turning them the wrong way."

Loki did a small chuckle, and you looked at him curiously.

"As much as I appreciate your capacity to examine villains...you need to get a life, Darling."

"Oh go to hell," you laughed, throwing your pillow at him, which he caught and examined, deciding he liked it.

"So now you're stealing my stuff?" you called out as he walked for the door.

"I didn't steal anything," he smiled, "This was given to me. Rather fine quality, don't you think?"

"Yeah it really is, so I'd like to sleep on it."

"You have another."

"Yeah, but that was my favorite," you pouted, giving him the baby lip.

"I'll talk to Stark about finding you a replacement," he said, insincerely apologetic, closing the door behind him.

You giggled some more over his antics, grabbing your clothes and making for the bathroom. Before you entered, something green caught your eye. A pillow had already replaced the stolen one. Had Loki done it while still in the room? You walked over to it, picking up the plush pillow that was the same vibrant shade of green as all of his belongings usually were.

"Of course it's green," you whispered, tossing it back down on the bed with a smile.

Your shower felt refreshingly relaxing, though the sore skin on your arms and head prickled a bit under the warm water. Lying in bed, cuddled against your new pillow, you tried to fall asleep. You thought it would be an easy task, but your brain had other plans. Similar to how you feel like you're rising and falling with the waves after spending a day at the beach or how you get the dropping feeling after a day at an amusement park, your thoughts kept drifting to the basement and Zemo, your body jolting as you imagined him pressing the button. You weren't doing it on purpose, in fact you were trying to think of anything else but that. Yet every time you grew tired enough for your thoughts to roam by themselves, you were right back on the table. You must have fallen asleep eventually, as you woke up from a dream that you just now realized had been rather long while feeling short. It was obscure and scattered, dancing from place to place and plot to plot, but you remembered Zemo had been in it with all of the others. No matter what the rest of it had been, you'd been jerked awake by the same ending as all of your wandering thoughts.

I get it, brain, I was electrocuted today. Can we dream about Asgard or something? How about dinner with Zemo? Why you gotta pick the bad stuff to shake me awake with?

You were wide awake now, staring at the wall as you pulled your pillow into your arms and groaned in frustration. The clock read 1:33a.m. The sun had been nearing the horizon when you'd landed home earlier that day, so it had to have been close to evening when you laid down. 

No way I've slept that long. Felt like I barely slept at all.

Regardless, you were awake now, and going back to sleep only to get mentally zapped didn't sound appealing. You stood up, throwing a smaller blanket around your shoulders and heading for the kitchen. You thought briefly of how you wanted to go wake Loki. Bothering him would cheer you up...plus he might be decent at comforting when he wanted to be, not that you were about to tell him that. Not wanting to be a baby, you continued to the downstairs. Walking into the kitchen, you were surprised to find Bruce sitting at the counter, a cup of coffee in his hands. He smiled a greeting as you walked in.

"Oh...hey," you returned hesitantly, feeling awkward, "What're you doing up?"

"Same as you I suspect," he said, taking a sip.

"Can't sleep?"

He just gave a knowing look.

"That's kinda gonna keep you awake," you pointed to mug, walking over to stand on the opposite side of the counter.

"That's the plan."

"Sleeping's that bad huh?"

"Well, when you have a green alter-ego ready to take control, there aren't many sweet dreams."

"Hey the Hulk's evolved. I know you hated using him, but you and Nat had that little lullaby thing that really worked."

"Mmm, this was different," he shook his head, "On Sakaar it was like...the Hulk had the keys to the car---"

"And you were locked in the trunk," you finished.

"Of course you understand," he nodded with a smile, "I'm forgetting you know everything. You know why I'm afraid then."

"That doesn't mean I think you should be. In the future...you and Hulk work it out. I think if you don't fear him so much, he won't fear you. Both of you are fighting for control, fearing one will take over and the other will never be in control again. I don't even think the Hulk is a separate entity. His evolution, his brain, his ability to think...it's all from you. It's your brain. Just as yours is his. When you're the Hulk, you're still yourself, and when the Hulk is Banner, he's still the Hulk because the Hulk is you and you are the Hulk...ok, it sounds more confusing when I say it out loud, but the point is, you should work on embracing the Hulk. Maybe you could learn to remain conscious while being the Hulk? The body changes but you maintain control of your mind? It wouldn't be killing the Hulk or his personality, because his personality comes from you. The only the reason the Hulk is dumber is because not all of you is present. The parts of you that function when you're the Hulk fear being Banner for the same reason you fear being Hulk. But imagine if all of your mind was present in both forms. Your Hulk side wouldn't fear being Banner and your Banner side wouldn't fear being Hulk, because finally all parts of you are mentally present in each form."

Bruce listened patiently, smiling at some of your notions like they were nice fantasies.

"Listen, I've never been able to maintain awareness when being the Hulk," he started.

"Wrong. You may not always remember after the fact, but you do maintain memories and some awareness. How is it that the Hulk knows his friends from enemies? How does a touch of a hand a few words trigger a transformation? Because it's you. You're remembering. You're aware of who you know and who's the enemy."

"It's a working process though, a concept we were working on that clearly failed when Hulk went rogue."

"Did the Hulk go rogue? Was he acting as a separate person doing what he wanted? Tell me, have you ever considered running away? Hiding from the world as much as possible to avoid hurting anyone? How about what you were doing off in Calcutta? The Hulk looked around sadly when he woke from Wanda's magic-induced rampage. He stayed on that quinjet, ignoring Nat, because he thought it was best for him to leave. Where do you think he got those thoughts? Don't you see? You made the decision to stay on that quinjet. The 'Hulk' is just a term for when you're green as far as I'm concerned. But he's you. Your desire to not hurt anyone is why he left. And, yeah, when the parts of you present in the Hulk found a place where you could unleash your aggressive feelings and get praised for it? You stayed, because again, not all of you is up there," you pointed to his head, "when you turn, so you couldn't rationalize going back to earth. But if all of what the Hulk is is just parts of you...then why is it so far-fetched to think you can one day master being in control?"

There was a pause for ten seconds or so where he looked at you, contemplating what you said. You raised your eyebrows expectantly, waiting for his response.

"You said the Hulk and I work things out...is this how you meant it? I remain in control?"

"The brain and the brawn come together," you confirmed with a grin.

"So I-I do it, I actually can do it, not just theoretically?" 

"You  can and you will...just not maybe permanently green this time if you don't mind."

"What?"

"Nothing, you'll figure it out when the time comes."

Bruce ran his fingers through his hair, looking like a thousand thoughts and possibilities were running through his head.

"This--this changes everything," he spoke quietly to himself, looking happy and at ease. "Thank you, Wren."

"Hey, I'm not the one who figured out it was possible, you were. I just already saw it happen."

You walked to grab a cup from the cabinet.

"So why can't you sleep?" he asked.

"Oh I don't know," you tried lying casually as you filled your cup with water, "Guess my body has had enough of it. Who else had coffee with you?" you asked, seeing the empty cup in the sink that looked freshly used.

"Tony was here not long ago. You must have just missed him on your way down."

"He's the last person that should be drinking coffee this late."

"He's not the only one coming down at 2am to avoid sleeping," he said pointedly, and you turned to find him staring at you.

"I told you, I wasn't tired."

He blinked a few times like that was the dumbest excuse you could have tried to get by a genius like him.

"Wren, in all of the times I've come down here in the last month, I've run into Tony a couple of times. When he can't sleep, he usually plays in his lab to avoid people, but I've caught him on his rare trip down here. There's no need for him to come, but I think he secretly hopes to run into someone. I've also run into Wanda...and Nat...and Bucky...hell, I've run into everyone here at least once, all down here for the same reason. Now knowing that I am very familiar with the look of someone who can't sleep because something won't let them, do you want to talk about the real reason you're down here?"

"I keep jumping awake scared, after dreaming of Zemo...ya know, hitting the button. It's nothing, just instinctive I guess. I must have been afraid when anticipating every shock, though I don't even remember being scared at the time."

"You may not remember, but your body does. We're trained to subconsciously recognize and fear dangers, especially something that has already proven harmful. When you dream about it, your body's just acting accordingly, your instinctive fear and subsequent fight or flight kicking in."

"Yeah, well, the subconscious is a real pain in the ass. I'll get over it. Everyone in this compound has suffered or seen a lot more to keep them awake at night. Mine will pass."

"Fortunately, I think you're right. Not that our troubles are worse than yours!" he clarified hastily, "It's just that, even those with the longest list of past traumas have found it easier over time. A trip now and again to the kitchen is a blessing compared to the endless nights some could have."

"I never knew you guys had a rough time sleeping. I mean, I know Tony did after New York, but I thought that got better."

"It did, but that doesn't mean a stray nightmare now and again can't hit him. Besides, Ultron, Sokovia...it's all happened since then. He almost lost Pepper too, which I'm sure you know."

"Yeah," you said solemnly, "I'm so glad he didn't."

"But you can imagine the extra ammunition for his mind to use against him. Tony's always been the one to let guilt hit him hard, even if he pretends he's not."

"So the fact that he created Ultron probably doesn't help the situation either," you nodded in understanding, leaning back against the sink with your arms folded, pulling your blanket around tighter.

"I did help build Ultron, so he's not entirely to blame, but yes."

"We both know you didn't want to," you said, thinking back to the film before slowly starting to laugh.

"What?"

"Your face when you said 'Only when I've created a murder-bot'," you continued laughing, "Some of your expressions throughout the movies are just priceless."

Bruce began chuckling as well.

"I'm glad my face is good for something I guess."

"Don't sound so surprised...I mean...Natasha likes your face I'm sure," you said, smiling and moving your eyebrows up and down.

"I...I-I don't know about...that's uh no she's---" he laughed awkwardly.

"How're things going in your, ya know, friendship?" you cut him off with an exaggerated wink.

"You know I-I think it's time for bed," he looked at his wrist which bared no watch, "Yeah, gosh, look at the time, it's late I really should---I'd loved to stay and finish this conversation but you know" he pointed behind him as he started backing to the hall with mock disappointment, "gotta get eight hours or I get cranky, and you don't want to see me when I'm cranky. That was---that was a bad joke..." he trailed off.

"Yeah sure sure, go on, I'll just ask Nat for the details. You're no fun!"

"Sorry to disappoint," he laughed.

"Night, Bruce."

"Good night, Wren. You ok for tonight?"

"Yeah," you smiled, "You?"

"Never better," he said with equal joy, disappearing down the hall.

You remained in the kitchen for a few, sipping your water and just letting yourself get lost in your thoughts, enjoying the calmness and your current lack of worry or fear. When you returned to bed, the pattern began to repeat itself...except this time you didn't let it bother you. It was a tough night, but you made it through, finally getting a few decent hours before morning.

***

It was mid-December now, and you were enjoying the fun of the holiday season. Tony, though he threw a Thanksgiving dinner three days later than it should have been, seemed to want to make up for his lack of participation leading up to the last holiday. He had decorated the compound like a winter wonderland, purchased the largest tree for the living room, and had rented out the Rockefeller Center ice rink for Christmas Eve night. There still seemed this awkward tension in the air when Steve and Tony were with each other, but it was slowly dissipating, and the two were at least on speaking terms. Tony had seemed to forgive your part in the secret entirely, and, although happy to have him back, you were guilty that Steve remained in the doghouse when you were let out. At least their friendship appeared on the mend.

You'd been allowed to start your training again, with Nat eager to have your moves progress. This meant letting Valkyrie kick your butt while she watched from the sidelines to instruct. Trial by fire was working, however, as Nat's defenses and attacks were slowly becoming muscle memory. Korg and Miek were healthy, with the latter having upgraded prosthetics from Tony. He could attach blades for a fight, but his daily arms were like normal robotic limbs. It was taking him some time to adjust, with Korg cheering him on the whole way. You'd taken it upon yourself to educate both of them on the fun of Christmas...along with Loki. Christmas movies every night was a mandatory event, Christmas music was playing nearly all day, and the three of you tried your hand at baking. The others had joined, with it turning into a cookie decorating competition. You'd made Loki restart when you caught him using magic, so his hand-decorated one was...well, he got a gold star for trying. His hands were adorably covered in frosting, as he struggled with both piping bags and spreading knives. After all, he'd never had to bake or prepare a bit of food in his life. Thor, though equally inept, was having a great time, claiming his gingerbread man the "most adorable little cookie man in the nine realms." Any remark claiming otherwise earned the speaker a handful of flour to the face. Wanda's was perfect, Rhodey's was nearly as good, yours was tolerable, Sam and Bucky destroyed each others, Tony's was so extra that the gingerbread man was lost under an extravagant amount of frosting and candy, Steve's was basic, Bruce made the Hulk (which Loki mocked was 'very original'), Korg and Miek worked together to create that "happy, fat, red man from the tv", Vision produced the cleanest cookie with the straightest lines (though practically as basic as Cap's), and Valkyrie, Nat, and Clint ate theirs, stealing bits of candy and frosting from the other competitors when they could. 

The Holiday Baking Failure, guest-starring the Avengers, took place a week ago. Since then, the talks Tony and Fury had begun having with King T'Chaka finally started getting somewhere. He'd agreed to meet in person, requesting that you attend as well. Therefore, you were now standing in the quinjet, waiting to be flown to a neutral location somewhere outside of Wakanda. You, Bucky, Steve, Tony, and Fury were the only ones in attendance. Bucky looked nervous throughout the flight. If King T'Chaka refused to aid in his recovery, the other option was to figure out a way to heal him yourselves. Seeing as Buck didn't want to risk hurting anyone in the compound, this fallback wasn't a bright one for him. He caught you looking at him and you tried instilling as much hope and optimism as you could with a smile.

The quinjet landed in a field surrounded by beautiful scenery. One glance at the view and you knew you were close to Wakanda. A modest wooden pavilion was the only infrastructure to be seen, and you were thrilled to see T'Challa sitting under it with his father. They both stood and walked half the distance to meet you.

Oh my gooosh it's T'Challa!

"Your Majesty," Steve greeted, bowing his head.

"Please, we don't do that here," T'Chaka smiled, "Welcome, Captain Rogers. Mr. Stark, Mr. Fury," he greeted each, as they were the three in front, you and Buck hiding behind them until it was your turn to speak.

"Allow me to introduce my son, T'Challa."

"It is an honor to meet all of you," he said, stepping forward.

You leaned around Tony to get a better look, because T'Challa was...well, he was fricking T'Challa! He noticed your efforts, smiling warmly.

"Sergeant Barnes I presume?" T'Chaka addressed Bucky, Steve stepping aside to let him through.

"Yes sir."

"I am sorry for what this world has put you through. Come, let us sit and see if we can find a way to help." The King held out his hand to the table in the pavilion, leading the way to the chairs. T'Challa moved to one side, letting your group walk ahead of him, falling in step with you in the back.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Arlington," he grinned, lowering his voice to keep the conversation between the two of you.

"I can't believe I'm meeting you! I mean, uh, it's a-a pleasure too. Sorry, I'm not used being all prim and proper, plus I tend to be a bit much when I'm excited."

"It's alright," he chuckled, "I am not fond of formalities. When you're a prince, there are few who speak what they truly think around you."

"Unfortunately, you'll never have to worry about that with me...I tend to speak my mind."

  "My father says those who speak their mind are often trustworthy, for it is in silence that the deceitful are thinking their next lie."

"Great, then we'll be home before lunch, because once I get going it's hard to stop me."

T'Challa laughed some more.

"My father is a rigid man in many respects, but he is always willing to hear the cases of others. Your story is a strange one, but he will listen."

"What about you? Do you believe what you've heard about me?"

"I am not sure. The evidence your friends have cited pushes me to believe you, and they are the Avengers as well, which plays in your favor. But the story is a difficult one to consume. I will say, meeting you has started shifting my view in your direction already."

You smiled at his comment, unable to respond due to your arrival at the table. T'Chaka sat at the head, T'Challa on his right and Fury on his left. T'Challa had offered the chair next to him, pulling it out for you. Tony sat next to you, Steve across from you and Bucky across from Tony.

"It is nice to meet you, Ms. Arlington," T'Chaka said kindly, though he seemed a little, not insincere, but skeptical. As if he was sizing you up already. "Thank you for agreeing to meet us here."

"It's an honor to be here, your Majesty, so thank you."

"Am I to understand correctly that you claim to be from the future?" he asked, cutting right to the chase. 

"Well, yes, yes the future, but also another reality...where you're all stories in movies."

"Ms. Arlington has proven to know every aspect of previous events and moments in our lives, as well as everything up to six years in the future," Fury said, "Her tips have never been wrong, and her assistance has fixed situations that, if left unknown to us, would have turned drastic. We've recovered footage from a Hydra base, showing experiments tested on a version of Ms. Arlington from this universe, who is six years younger."

He place a pad on the table, which projected the desired information. Your younger self was displayed, her date of birth and all proof you could need shown for everyone to see. Next came the footage from the lab.

"As you can see, the portal that dropped at the compound seconds after was opened by her other self," Fury concluded.

T'Chaka nodded in contemplation.

"There is something else you request, am I right?" he asked after some thought, turning to Stark.

"A buddy of ours is powered by a freaky magic rock that we need removed. We've been told some teenage genius in your country can help. What was her name?" he asked you.

"Shuri, T'Challa's sister," you said.

"Right, your daughter," Tony snapped his finger like he should have remembered that, "She's able to do it in the future, though her work is cut short. Death of the patient can cause some setbacks. We've run our own diagnostics, trying to make sure he's evolved enough for the procedure and we've come up with some ideas and safeguards in case he's not," Tony explained, casting his own data above the table and swiping through the information, all of which was too advanced for anyone to understand anyway. He just liked showing off. "We could use a...professional opinion though," he said like it hurt to call some kid a professional over himself, "And we want to do this the safest way possible. If the Time-Traveling Nerd says your daughter is our best bet, then that's how we wanna do it."

"We'd appreciate the help," Steve added.

"What is so important about getting this rock removed?" T'Challa asked in curiosity.

"So, uh, it's called an infinity stone. It's one of six, and there's an alien out there who, in maybe a little over two years, is going to collect them and kill half of all life with the snap of his fingers," you said, "There's really no easy way of putting that, it's just how it is."

"Ms. Arlington, would you please start from the beginning with your story so there is no confusion?" T'Chaka asked, clearly not understanding.

Well, he asked for it.

You spent the next half hour or so explaining how you got here and the list of future events.

"I am not so sure that we should invite death to our country by housing one of these stones, if what you say is true," T'Chaka said.

"Half of your country will be wiped out anyway if you don't help," you pleaded.

"They are all brought back?" he asked for confirmation.

"Yes, after five years!" you said a little too aggressively.

"Look," Steve stepped in to cover your mistake, "The world is thrown into chaos for five years. Loved ones separated, families torn apart. We need your help to stop it."

"Can you not use her information to plan against such an outcome?" the king asked.

"That's what we're trying to do here," Tony said, growing annoyed.

"In a way that does not endanger my people?" he clarified.

"Look, Thanos isn't coming for a while. We can have the stone out, Bucky freed, and everyone removed from Wakanda within the next few months, or sooner, depending on how smoothly things go. Please, Wakanda is a huge roll in the Avengers' success. I told you, T'Challa opens the nation up to the world later, so what's a bit of help now?"

"I am not sure I believe you. My death, my son's decisions, they could all be cons. You know of Wakanda's wealth, so you'll understand my caution regarding your intentions in my country and the threats you could pose."

T'Challa stepped in, speaking in Wakandan to his father. The two of them spoke back and forth, and, though you couldn't understand them, it looked like T'Challa was advocating for you.

"Listen, I left out key Wakandan details when I told my story because I didn't want to freak you out or expose anyone," you said during a pause in their discussion, "But I know things that I could only know from movies. I knew about your wealth and vibranium, yes, and you two and Shuri. But I also know about Okoye, the Dora Milaje, Nakia, the different tribes and how they can challenge T'Challa for king and the whole waterfall setup during that. I know some really important information that will harm you if you don't know it too."

"What information?" T'Chaka asked, looking too concerned for someone who didn't believe you.

He believes me, whether he'll admit it or not. 

"It's personal to you. I'd rather say it in private."

T'Chaka stood up promptly, motioning for you to follow him out of the pavilion. You glanced across the table as you stood up, Steve and Fury nodding at the same time.

"What must I know?" the king asked once away from the others.

You told him about Killmonger, about all of the trouble he causes, about the hurt he was put through by being abandoned and shunned from Wakanda, about how T'Challa feels regarding his father's actions and the end result of the whole conflict.

For once, T'Chaka seemed shocked, speechless even.

"You need to tell T'Challa," you said softly after giving him some time to process.

Surprisingly, he just nodded, no arguments.

"Thank you for coming to me privately about this matter," he said, "I am grateful for your discretion."

That was all he said before heading back to the meeting. Once in the pavilion, he summoned his son.

"T'Challa and I will discuss what to do about your situation. Please, remain patient. We shall return shortly."

They walked off, disappearing down a slope and out of sight.

"Well, you've either won the battle for us with whatever you told him, or you screwed us," Fury said to you, leaning back in his chair.

"Hopefully the former," you said absent-mindedly, looking off in the direction father and son had gone.

"You better damn well pray it is," he sassed.

"What did you say to him?" Tony asked, "Must have been something juicy enough to get a brick wall like him to finally move."

"It's a secret."

"Oh great, I love secrets, I love knowing them."

"I think T'Challa is on our side," you said, ignoring Tony, "Besides, he's not the kind of person to refuse aid to someone. He's a good guy, I think we'll be fine."

Conversation continued amongst the five of you, but it didn't have to last long. The royals returned quickly, taking their seats once again. The whole table waited in silence for the reveal.

"My son and I have decided to trust your word," he said to you, "And we appreciate how forward you have been. We will grant your requests. Sergeant Barnes, you will be seen to by the best help we can provide, and my daughter will work with you," he looked at Stark, "to safely remove the stone. Once that is done, it must be removed immediately from Wakanda. We will not risk the danger brought from its lingering within our borders."

A collective sigh escaped everyone's mouth, and many thanks and testaments of appreciation were exchanged. The joyous occasion led to a relatively upsetting one, as you were soon lined up in front of the quinjet, saying goodbye to Bucky for the time being. Fury shook hands with both the king and prince, nodding a farewell to Buck before walking up the ramp. Tony thanked T'Chaka, saying he'd be in touch about a time to meet up with Shuri. 

"Hey, when you get your kingly super cat powers," Tony said when he moved onto T'Challa, "Would you ever consider joining a highly dysfunctional group of heroes hosted by the man who can buy you everything and throw a hell of a party? The commute would be a bit much during rush hour, but you could be the start of an 'around the world' squad, spend most of your time here."

"I'm flattered by your offer," T'Challa laughed, "But I think, when the time comes, I'll be busy trying to find my footing as a king."

"Well, if you ever find it, give me a call."

"And if there is ever anything you need, please just ask."

Tony glanced at Bucky like he considered saying something, but ultimately started boarding the quinjet.

"Tony," Buck called out, stopping him half way up the ramp. He turned, though his eyes looked anywhere but Bucky. "Thanks for getting me here."

Tony's eyes flickered up and he nodded once or twice. "Yeah, well...Winter Soldier's a bitch and I want him gone."

"So do I," Bucky replied.

Tony nodded again, turning and finishing the climb into the jet.

"Thank you again, Ms. Arlington," T'Chaka said when it was your turn to say goodbye.

"Thank you for believing me. And thank you for the help. I hope everything goes well."

"I have a feeling it will," he smiled.

You moved on to T'Challa, thanking him as well.

"You are the one trying to save a world you do not live in," he grinned, "I require no thanks for being fortunate enough to help. I hope we see each other again, Ms. Arlington."

"I'm sure we will," you smiled back, saying goodbye as you stepped up to Buck next.

"Well, we finally got you here. Sorry it took so long."

"Hey now, I stopped beating myself up in front of you as promised, so you can't go apologizing for that still, remember?"

"Right," you laughed, "My bad."

Bucky was smiling back, but there was a pause where you both knew you had to say bye. You hugged him, telling yourself not to tear up.

"See ya soon, Buck. I'll have your Christmas present shipped over here in time for the big day."

"I might have to give yours a little late," he said as you pulled away.

"Yeah," you chuckled, "That's ok."

"Thanks for everything, Wren. I'll see you around. Don't forget to mess with Sam while I'm away."

"I'll bother him twice as hard as I usually do," you assured him, waving one last time as you retreated up the ramp. Glancing back from the top, you saw Steve and Bucky hugging their goodbyes. T'Challa caught your eye, smiling and holding a hand up in farewell. You returned the gesture, before taking your place inside. Steve followed shortly thereafter, and the quinjet took off for its destination, one passenger lighter.

***

"Sam Sam Sam Sam Sam," you kept repeating as you knocked on his door.

"I'm comiiing," he said, as he rushed out of the bedroom, pulling his jacket on.

"Well hurry, you know Tony will leave for ice-skating without us, and then I'm shoving coal down your throat."

"We'll be back in plenty of time, I just need to grab something quick and cheap and get this over with."

"You try talking to Tony like I asked?"

"Yup, and he stands by his rule of 'No Friday one-day shipping purchases on Christmas Eve.' It doesn't prevent last minute thoughtless gifts," he scoffs, "He's just being an asshole cuz he can."

"I mean, you did wait til the last second to shop, knowing the rule was in place."

"I got 99% of it done," he defended.

"Yeah, and that 1% is your secret santa, literally the only gift you were actually required to buy!"

"The only gift I don't want to buy!"

"Well, you have to, and now you're stuck having to run into the city to shop on the craziest shopping day of the year."

"That's why I'm bringing you, you love the man. Walk in, pick the first thing you see that will look like I semi-tried, and then we go home."

"Shhhh sh, he's coming, act natural," you whispered as you and Sam were exiting the elevators.

"Hey Loki," you said, "Whatchu eating?"

"Maximoff made some more of her cookies," he held up his remaining half to show.

"See, I told you you'd like our desserts!"

"They're better than most of what you force down my throat," he sighed, "So I'll take what I can get."

"Uh-huh, suuuure. Oh, did you, uh, do the thing we discussed?"

Sam looked back and forth between the two of you.

"No, I haven't," he said proudly, popping the last of the cookie in his mouth and smiling, walking briskly past you 

"Sam, go on, I'll meet you out front."

"I thought you were in a rush?" he mocked.

"I'll just be a sec," you promised, turning after Loki, "Ah ah ah, nope," you squealed, catching the elevator door before it closed.

"Going up?" he teased, playing innocent.

"Why haven't you done it?"

"I told you, it's stupid, and it won't matter. Besides, I couldn't tell you where to begin getting a gift for that man."

"It's Christmas, Loki, people will be grateful for whatever you get them...usually."

"Barton will, seriously?!!" he whispered loudly, "Sure, I'll attach a note as well that says, 'Remember that time I made you my puppet? Yeah, that was fun. Anyways, Merry Christmas!' This whole holiday is so....its--its pointless. And why does it force cheer down your throat like it's main goal is to activate as many gag reflexes in people as is humanly, and Asgardianly, possible?!"

"Oh come on, you've enjoyed this month. Ok, so maybe you roll your eyes at a lot of the over-the-top Christmas cheer, but most of it you've enjoyed. You're living as part of the team, so you have to participate like one of them."

"I'm sure the others would have been perfectly content to let me sit this one out. Let me guess, you pleaded with them to include me?"

"Actually, no, a few of them thought it would be good to include you, they just didn't think you'd want to."

"And you told them I would?!"

 "I said I'd check with you."

"You told me I had to!"

"No, I checked with you! Remember? I brought up the concept of secret santa, and you said 'Wow, sounds fascinating,' so I put you on the list."

"Are you so thick-headed you can't tell sarcas---"

He stopped upon seeing that you couldn't hold a straight face. Of course you'd known it was sarcasm and not interest.

"You gotta be careful what you say. Maybe that'll teach you to not say things just to be dismissive."

He got his "this bitch is about to die" smile on, and you realized you were standing far too close to the elevator.

"No no no!" you yelled as Loki pulled you into the elevator and the doors closed behind you.

"Careful what you say?" he said thoughtfully as you tried to subtly reach for the 'open door' button. Though not looking, he smacked your hand out of the air.

"Lokiii," you laughed, "I have to go, Sam's waiting for me to---" he grabbed your hand this time as you reached, not letting go and smiling maliciously.

"What was it you said once, Darling? Wilson was squealing over a spider, and you told him it wasn't a tarantula so he shouldn't be a baby."

"Did I say that? Nah, I think you've got the wrong person, sounds like something Nat would say. So let's just push the button and---"

There was a flash of green and a large, hairy arachnid appeared on Loki's arm. You could see the things eyes, it was that grotesquely big. You knew some people kept these things as pets, but you could never.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Is that thing real or an illusion? Can you make spiders? It's not real, right, it ain't real?!"

His smile grew as the spider started walking down to where your hand was held by his.

"NOPE, get that thing away!" you said, pulling your hand free. Loki moved in front of the controls, so you backed to the other wall. "My fight or flight will kick in, and I will hold no remorse for the things I do when that happens!"

"Aw, I think he's a cute little spider," Loki said in a voice that, had he been saying it to a dog and not a tarantula he was trying to throw at you, would have been adorable. He picked the spider up from its back, taking a step towards you.

You went to push past him, but he grabbed your arm and made to pin your hands to your side. Nat's teachings kicked in and you ducked and spun, using his motion against him and tripping him into the side of the elevator.

"Oooo," you cringed, "Sorry! I didn't mean to do that! Well, yes, but not that hard, it just kinda happened. I did warn that---what am I worrying about you're a god. Oh shit!" you hissed, seeing the spider in his right hand, as he gathered himself from the wall, and remembering why you were running.

Loki's left arm was wrapped around your waist, pulling you back before you could even move towards the button. You struggled, but you didn't want to actually fight your way out, even if any hurt you did to him was insignificant. You leaned all of your weight forward in an attempt to stretch as far as possible from the spider in his hand. He used your momentum against you, dropping you swiftly, but gently, to the floor. He was on his knees immediately, leaning over you with the spider dangling above your face.

"Ok ok ok, I get it!" you said, squeezing your eyes shut, "No manipulating what you say...or at least if I do, no more admitting it," you added.

"Oh Darling," he chuckled, "You can't help yourself, can you?"

You felt the hairy legs touch your cheek, but your arms were pinned under his knees on either side of you, so you couldn't swat it away.

"OK! I'm sorry I'm sorry, I won't do it again!" you shrieked, "Get it off get it off get it off!"

The feeling disappeared, and you opened your eyes to find a triumphant Loki smirk above you instead.

"And that," he said softly, "Is why you do not mess with the God of Mischief."

"When I get you back, I swear---"

"I don't think you're in any position to be making threats," he said, leaning in a little closer.

 He stared at you with that mischievous twinkle in his eyes, and your smile faltered when you realized your position. The doors opened, and both of your heads turned to find Korg and Miek standing there. Korg stopped mid-sentence when he saw the two of you.

"Oh! Sorry guys!" he said hastily, reaching in to press the 'close door' button over and over again, "We did not know this lift was, uh, occupied. There really should be a sign on the outside for when people want their privacy, not that it's your fault, it's all mine," he continued rambling. Miek was looking to the side, holding his prosthetic hand up to hide his eyes behind.

"No no no, Korg, it isn't like that!" you said quickly, pushing Loki off of you. You both jumped up, Loki straightening out his hair as you fumbled to explain, "He was trying to get back at me for something I did, so he---"

"I'd write down whatever it was you did, because if that was the payback for it, that's a win bro."

"No!" you said, stopping the door from closing, "Gross, no, Korg, he was trying to put a spider in my face!"

"Ohhh, is 'spider' slang for some kind of kiss? Because I'm sorry Miek and I had to exterminate it," he said, chuckling at his own joke, "Get it, because we interrupted you guys before he could plant a big old spider on---"

"Yes! We get it, but no I mean like a real spider, he was trying to put a real spider in my face."

"Odd way to show affection, but hey you do you mate," he said to Loki.

 "No that's not...uggggh," you groaned, "You know what, just, forget it. Everything's fine Korg," you smiled, "Just promise not to tell anyone?"

"Oh yeah yeah, of course Wren, your secret romance is safe with us," he said as he and Miek pressed for the other elevator, "Not that it's really a secret is it?" you heard him whisper loudly to Miek as they entered it, "Those two have never really been subtle."

You didn't know exactly what to say or do, but you knew the first priority was getting out of the elevator. As you did, Loki followed, and you realized that he was smiling, evidently finding the whole encounter amusing.

"If that were Thor, would you be smiling?!" you shot at him.

"No, but as it wasn't, I'll continue enjoying it."

"I thought we were on the same page about how weird people are when they think that kind of stuff about us?"

"Doesn't mean I can't find it amusing, Darling. Perhaps I'm not as bothered by it anymore."

"Lord, we must have looked just---that was the worst position we could have been in!" you said, palming your forehead, the giggles starting to come.

"Or the best, depending on whose point of view we're discussing," Loki said, and you dropped your hands, looking at him in shock. "I'm kidding of course! Don't be so ridiculous."

"Right," you chuckled, awkwardly shoving aside the panic that had started rising in you when you thought he was serious and you'd have to find something to say to it. "Now that you've gotten me back, you're still Clint's secret santa so---damn, Sam! I gotta go! If I help you with Clint's gift, will you at least participate?"

"I'll be able to say it was entirely you, so, yes, I agree to those terms."

"Great, I'll see you later then! Stay out of trouble?" you pointed, backing down the hall.

"Gods no."

"Good answer!" you called back, starting to jog down the hall.

"Ten minutes is not a second," Sam said as you reached the door to the parking lot, "Did you guys get lost in each other's eyes?"

"No, he needed the same help you do. You're both whiners who can't just do a task without complaining or procrastinating."

"Who does he have?"

"Can't tell, but let's worry about your own gift."

The rush of Christmas Eve shoppers and tourists made the city a crowded madhouse, but, to you, that only added to the fun. You and Sam made your way to a book store, and you helped him pick out some classics, along with the first Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter book. You had him purchase a big bag of M&Ms, as you knew those were secretly one of Loki's favorite sweet treats on Midgard. The two of you hurried home, Sam leaving to find a box to to wrap his items in. 

You noticed the business center of the compound was bustling, and you almost forgot that Tony still ran a company on the premises. Pepper, who was usually supposed to be around the main facility quite a lot, had been kept away from the compound after Hydra's attack. She'd been away on a business trip when you'd arrived back in October, so she'd continued her work away from home base until Tony gave the all-clear. With Rumlow caught, Bucky safely stashed in Wakanda, and the device capable of turning off Friday having been discovered, Tony finally gave her the clearance to come back. You'd yet to meet her, though she was coming ice-skating with you that evening. You had a little over an hour until everyone was supposed to meet for departure, giving you enough time to make sure Loki planned something for Clint.

Loki opened when you knocked, stepping aside to let you in.

"Have you put any thought into a gift?"

"Me?" he asked in disgust, "Heavens, no, that's what I have you for."

"You could have saved time by thinking about it in advance, but fine I got this."

Loki sat on the edge of the bed as you paced back and forth.

"It's not like we're giving the gifts tonight, there's plenty of time," he scoffed, "He doesn't want me in his home, I know that, so I don't see why I'm made to go, let alone come bearing gifts."

Clint had spent most of the last two months with his family, visiting now and again and, obviously, flying over for events like the Thanksgiving Parade and subsequent Hydra rescue mission. Although he liked to keep his family away from the compound and off the grid, Laura had invited the crew to spend Christmas morning and gift exchange at their place.

"He clearly thinks you're safe enough with everyone around, and he knows we can't leave you behind, so you're coming. And bearing gifts is the best way for someone like you to enter his house."

"How about I just enchant an arrow to always return to his bow after finding it's target?" he sighed, like it was something simple he wouldn't mind doing, "That way the fool doesn't run out in battle. I mean, honestly, how many does he take out with one quiver of arrows?"

"More than you think, plus he's a skilled fighter without the bow. But is that something you can do?"

"What? Have an object return to a desired location? Yes, of course, I have had many special things enchanted in such a way, so I can summon them if ever lost. As long as I have access to the quiver, I can have the arrows return to their slot after a certain time of being removed."

"That's literally genius! If Clint says no to that, then I no longer hold you accountable for getting him a gift, cuz you did your job."

"Let's hope he says no."

"I hope Thor shows up soon. I wouldn't want to leave without him," you said, changing the subject to his brother, who was currently on Asgard.

"Knowing my brother, we'll be lucky if he arrives in time for your New Year's."

Despite Loki's remark, Thor managed to arrive just as the team was piling into the limos. Thankfully, Tony had worked on introducing Korg and Miek to the public, so they were allowed to join. Seeing as Rockefeller Center had literally been cleared for the Avengers, Tony condoned Loki's attendance. He was more noticeable when in his god gear anyway, his face not as recognizable as Thor's. However, that meant he had to wear Midgardian clothes for the first time since you'd met him. You weren't gonna lie, he looked good in his coat, scarf, and black pants. His shirt was a little formal, naturally, which you pointed out didn't blend in with the look of the other's as much, so he changed it to a green sweater underneath instead. Pepper was in the limo you entered, and she was beyond nice. The two of you chatted the whole way about anything and everything. You asked her about putting up with Tony, leading to hilarious anecdotes, and she asked you about your home and how things were going for you since you'd arrived. Speaking with her made the time flow, and you were stepping out of the vehicle before you knew it.

Ice-skating was a great night. Tony kept trying to get Pepper to do crazy spins and stunts with him. When that didn't work, he enlisted Rhodey. Thor stuck with Korg and Miek, the three of them helping each other remain standing as they made their way slowly around the rink. Bruce and Nat skated along with Valkyrie. Sam kept speeding by Steve, saying "On your left" every time. You and Loki stuck with Vision and Wanda, chatting away as you glided around the ice. Loki looked like he wasn't wearing skates at all, showing no signs of having to concentrate as he flawlessly moved along.

Races broke out, as most things among the Avengers lead to competition, culminating in a collective grand finale. Nat, being the unbeatably graceful and talented individual that she was, won, though Sam and Valkyrie were hot on her tail. In the end, everyone split back into their little groups, Rhodey leaving to talk with Sam and Cap in order to give Tony and Pepper their romantic stroll. Valkyrie had also gone over to chill with Thor, probably knowing Nat and Bruce would enjoy time to themselves. Despite being with Wanda and Vision earlier, you dragged Loki away, wanting the two of them to have their time with each other.   

"You do know that she's human...and he's a robot?" he said concerned.

"Shh, doesn't matter," you whacked his arm, watching as Vision and Wanda laughed with each other ahead of you.

"So much sentiment," he groaned looking at the couples and friendships around him, "Can the holidays be over?"

You just laughed, and he couldn't hold his serious expression.

"It's beautiful," you said, looking up at the tree that shone brightly above you, "I never want this time of year to end."

"Hmmm...beautiful," Loki said quietly, sounding like he was in agreement. You glanced at him, and he was smiling pleasantly at the tree, before looking over to you. He seemed content, happy even. The eye contact was passing the fine line between friendly and awkward, so you broke your gaze.

"First one to the end gets Wanda's last cookies?" you suggested.

"They're already gone, Darling."

"If ooonly someone hid some," you sighed.

"Enjoy this rare occasion where I say I'm proud to call you my friend," he smiled, "But you already lost terribly to me earlier, so I'm afraid I'll be taking the---"

His words were cut off as you shoved him to the ice, making sure to kick his skates out from under him.

"HA!" you laughed skating quickly down the rink as he scrambled to his feet in pursuit.

The cookies may have been yours, but you started a game that involved trying to avoid Loki as he knocked you to the ground and casually skated by to push you as you tried getting up. You eventually made it to the side, grabbing onto the walls for dear life as he tried pulling you from them. The two of you were both equally stubborn, neither surrendering to defeat, and both enjoying the stupid game too much. It got to the point where Tony had to order you off the ice, the others having gathered off-rink already. Hot chocolate, dinner, and a Christmas movie finished off the night.

***

Christmas morning went surprisingly well between Loki and Clint. The latter agreed to Loki's offer, though he wanted to test it on a few arrows for a while first. You had a blast with the kids and Laura, helping her with their newborn Nathaniel. Tony showered the Barton kids with toys, as well as buying expensive gifts for the rest of the team. He even got Loki a heated blanket, claiming they "work wonders to relax, and you could do with a little less tension, Reindeer Games." Sam gave Loki his box with a "here you go, Merry Christmas", before walking away. Loki opened it and, upon seeing the contents, smirked over at you. You'd had Thor for your secret santa, getting him the new Nintendo 3DS from 2015 and teaching him how to use it. He became glued to it for nearly all of the morning. You'd also gotten him a stuffed toy of himself, because it was too great not to buy. He kept it propped up next to him on the couch and carried it with him when he moved. Tony had had you, so, in addition to the phone he'd gotten you, he also bought the coolest nerd decor for your room, as well as one of those lightsabers that reacted to movement and touch for a realistic effect.

"No way!" you squealed as he handed it to you, "This is the sweetest thing I've ever seen!"

You swung it around, the color and sound more realistic than you'd anticipated.

"I may have tinkered with it a bit," he smiled.

"What, you built this?!"

"Enhanced it, but mostly yeah. I wasn't about to give you a flimsy piece with quiet sounds, I want to see you whacking people with that. Just not me, or I dismantle it."

In the end, the gifts you received from others were either books, food, clothes, or anything fluffy and cuddly. The time to leave arrived too soon, and you reluctantly said farewell to the Bartons.

Once back home, around midday, you carried your stash up to your room to sort and use. Loki followed shortly after, with a small box in his hands.

"Seeing as we can never catch a break from the relentless teasing of the others, I assumed you'd prefer I give this to you in private."

"I was thinking the same thing! I have your gift in the closet."

"Why don't you open yours first...mine can wait."

"Loki, I...I thought you didn't like this whole gift-giving thing?" you asked, realizing that he had gone out of his way to prepare a gift for you.

"The standard of getting people gifts even if you are not fond of them is something I could do without, yes. But I figured it wasn't too much of an inconvenience to do so for a friend."

"Aw you're gonna make me cry," you teased, taking the box.

"Just shut up and open it," he rolled his eyes.

You pulled the ribbon off of the tiny box, opening the lid to reveal a white crystal on a golden chain. The stone wasn't filed down into a smooth shape, but looked rather like it'd been plucked straight from nature, which added to the beauty. The light in the room reflected off of the different angles on the gem, the crystal shimmering varying colors depending on how you looked at it.

"Oh my gosh, it's gorgeous," you said in awe, lifting the necklace gingerly.

"There's a cave on Asgard, one that houses millions of crystals like these. And there's an opening in one of the walls, high above the ground, that lets in the sunlight. For most of the day, the cave shimmers in the dazzling shades of a thousand colors. But at a certain time in the evening...as the sun sets and falls in line with the opening...and the warm orange glow washes over the cave...the crystals turn the beautiful red-orange of the sunset. Every crystal, from top to bottom, seems to burn with that deep, breathtaking shade which fills the horizon every evening, stunning us with it's hypnotizing beauty. That feeling one gets when staring at a sunset? That unmeasurable thrill that makes us ardently desire to be up in the clouds, surrounded by the light? These crystals do just that. Standing in the cave at the perfect time is like standing in a sunset."

He spoke so passionately and kindly, that you were stunned more by him than the necklace, taking in every word with wide-eyed wonder.

"I know how much you enjoy Asgard, particularly it's sunsets. The crystal you now hold will reflect that same light in any evening sky. So when you are wearing it, and the sun starts to fill the air with those colors you love so much...no matter where you are, you can look down, and see that orange fire capture in that tiny crystal. You will always be reminded of Asgard, and you will always have part of it with you."

"That's...I--Loki, I don't even know what to say! For the first time, I think you've actually made me speechless."

"I should have given it to you two months ago."

"Yeah, probably," you laughed, "Seriously, though, I---I don't know how to thank you! This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And you knew how much it'd mean too, I just can't---I don't know how to thank you enough!"

"I'm glad you like it, Darling," he smiled, seeming genuinely excited that you loved it so much.

"Oh my gosh, your gift! I'm sitting here drooling over mine so much I'm forgetting yours!" you said, rushing over to the closet.

You brought back a wrapped package, handing it to him.

"Be gentle with it," you warned, and he eyed you curiously as he began ripping off the paper.

"If a spider jumps out of here, know that I'm not scared of---" he stopped speaking as he opened the box within, staring with wide eyes at the present.

"Ok, so I know Sam already got you books, and I know you're also going to say I'm just recycling and didn't get you a real gift, but hear me out. I wanted you to have something of your mother's, and I was sure there was something she would have wanted you to have. So remember last week when I noticeably lied about where I'd been for a few hours? Well, Thor and I went up to your dad and asked to search through your mother's things for anything of meaning between the two of you. We found that in a drawer Odin claims to be the spot for her most prized possessions. She had two handkerchiefs, one with each of your names on it, you and Thor. Wrapped in yours was that book. Your father told Thor it was a book you used to study from and practice with your mom?"

Loki stared at it for a few more seconds, eyes glistening. He smiled as he lifted the book from the folds of the silk handkerchief.

"This was her beginner's book on magic. She used to read through it with me...teach me...help me practice the knowledge within it's pages. I cast my first illusion with the help of this book. I remember her face that day...her smile. I remember the joy I felt, seeing how happy I'd made her...that I could do that. In that moment, she told me if I put my mind to it, I could accomplish anything...be great."

He placed the book back down, lifting the corner of the white silk to trace his green embroidered name.

"There's more," you said, and he looked up expectantly. "Open it. We found something in there that made me certain she'd want you to have this."

He lifted the book, placing the box gently on your dresser. When he opened it, a sealed letter was contained on the very first page...a letter with his name on it. He removed it, putting the book with it's box and delicately opening the envelope. The letter looked to be a full page, from the ink you could see through the back of the paper, so it took him a minute to read it through. You watched his face as he did, mixed sadness, love, and joy playing across his features. By the end, a single tear escaped down his cheek. He glanced over the letter for a few more seconds, rubbing his fingers tenderly across his mother's handwriting. With a final smile and sniff, he folded the letter, returning it to the book.

"Are you ok?" you asked as he turned back around.

Though his eyes may have been red and watery, he appeared happy and peaceful.

"Yes," he said with a reassuring grin, "Thank you."

He caught you off guard by bringing you in for a hug. 

"Don't thank me, I couldn't have done it without Thor and your father. They were eager to help."

"It was your idea...thank you," he repeated, pulling back and smiling down at you.

"Merry Christmas, Loki."

"Merry Christmas, Darling."

*** 

New Year's Eve meant a Tony Stark party, which you weren't sure you were ready for....yet you really really wanted to witness. The party was about to start in an hour, which meant Nat, Wanda, and Valkyrie were busy making you look presentable. You'd never dressed for anything like Tony's parties, just as you'd never dressed for an Asgardian dance. Nat had taken you out shopping, selecting a glittering navy blue dress, far more short, modern, and sleek than any flowy Asgardian gowns. You accepted their opinions on everything, letting them choose your jewelry, do your hair and make-up, select your shoes, etc. The only detail you were firm on was that you wanted to wear your Asgardian necklace. 

Loki hadn't wanted to participate, but you'd asked him to come, saying you'd be less nervous or awkward if you had someone to talk to. What if everyone else's attention got taken? No one knew who you were, and Loki could disguise himself, so the two of you could talk if worst came to worst. Thankfully, he'd agreed, and you got Tony on board by promising Loki wouldn't come out of his disguise. Knowing Loki would be there made you breathe a little easier as you and the other girls walked into the loud and crowded room. You weren't going to lie, the Stark energy resonating throughout the room was enjoyable, and you found yourself being able to stay away from the crazy people, avoid important looking people, and have pleasant discussions with the normal people. Loki made himself known to you, having taken the disguise of another attractive man...shocker. He sat off to the side mostly, with you flocking to him if you ever needed a break from socializing. 

11 pm hit, and the DJ announced that the next hour leading up to the new year would be dedicated to 2015's greatest hits. Uptown Funk was apparently at the top of the charts, which was weird to hear. Never had you felt more like a time-traveler than you did during this hour. Did that stop you from loving it? Hell no. You were out on the dance floor, singing and bouncing along. Something you'd forgotten about the year 2015 was that it was the year of the whip. It may have seemed old in your mind, but here it was new. Therefore, when Watch Me came on, you were out there teaching Thor how to whip and nae nae. The whole crowd got into it, with everyone whipping like it was the coolest thing since sliced bread. Some time closer to the end of the hour, your head started hurting from the noise and activity. You weren't going to leave because of a headache, but that didn't mean you couldn't step outside for a quick break. Walking into the hall, you took the stairs to the next floor down, sitting in the room under the party. The music was loud enough to be heard through the floor, but muffled enough to not pound your head until it exploded.

I'm probably dehydrated, you thought, scolding yourself for failing to prepare when you knew you'd be partying all night. In fact, you'd barely eaten anything since the party started. This one was on you. A noise from behind startled you, but it was only Loki walking towards you with a glass of water. He'd removed his guise, and you fought the urge to stare at how good he looked in a suit. 

"Hey," you smiled as he sat down next to you on the couch. The room was pretty dim, a stray lamp here or there being the only light, but you could see his smile in return.

"I thought you could use some water, after your rather intense burst of energy upstairs."

"2015's just be hitting different tonight," you laughed, "I've never felt so out of time like I did when they said Uptown Funk was the number one song. "

"It did have a decently rhythmic beat though."

"Yeah, it'll get stuck in your head real quick."

"Speaking of, how is yours?"

"Oh, fine, just dehydrated, as you guess," you said, taking the glass he offered you, "Thanks."

He sat quietly while you drank, waiting until you'd placed it on the coffee table in front of you before speaking.

"Darling, I...I have a question."

"Yeah what's up?"

"Something in my mother's letter got me thinking about my powers...my potential. And that, subsequently, reminded me of the time in the library where you spoke of powers I either hadn't shown you or have never performed. You told me to trust you, and I do. But you also said you'd explain one day."

You let out a sigh, nodding to yourself.

I guess it's time. 

"And I'll keep that promise. In my world, there is a tv show about you. There's only one season, six episodes. It tells the story of a version of you that escapes the Battle of New York with the Tesseract after the Avengers botch their time-traveling attempt to get the Space Stone."

"I thought you said they succeed?"

"They do, by going back even further to get the cube. But, letting you escape started an alternate timeline, one where you never got taken back to Asgard. In comes the TVA to stop you. Now, the TVA, or Time Variance Authority, is an organization that exists outside of time. Their job is to preserve the sacred timeline. Any time someone in the universe does something drastic enough to change the course of events, that person is deemed a variant and is taken into custody by the TVA, and the alternate branched reality caused by their actions is pruned, erased from existence essentially. The TVA clearly doesn't exist in whatever universe I have popped into here, otherwise I would have been snatched up a while ago. But, in other universes where they are a thing, I guess, there are different realities within that universe with multiple versions of you, or everyone really. Any version that didn't comply with what the TVA had scripted for your life, which was supposed to end with your death by Thanos, was pruned. One, however, survived, hiding across time for her whole life, plotting against the TVA."

"Wait...her?" he asked in horror.

"Yup, there was a female version of you...and, well...I think it's easier if I show you everything. Come on, do the mind thing. I'm going to show you what I hid from you before."

He nodded, scooching closer to place his hands on your head. The entire Loki series played through your head, every scene with him vividly replayed for this Loki to witness. When it was done, he let his hands drop, eyes dancing around the room as he went over everything he'd just seen.

"I...I'm sorry I didn't show you before. It's just, I didn't want to show you the woman you fall in love with just to be like 'oops, sorry, she doesn't exist here.' It was younger and alternate you, anyway, not you exactly, but still I didn't want you to be upset that there was no Sylvie---"

"Darling," he cut you off, and you saw that he had that classic smirk on his face, "Whichever me fell in love with Sylvie...that's not this me. Am I him, and could I, if thrown in the same situation, fall in love with her? Possibly, maybe even probably. But I do not need Sylvie. Besides, just because there is no Sylvie here, doesn't mean there isn't someone else."

He held your gaze a second longer than was normal when saying that, and, as is typical with your brain, you immediately had to fight yourself to not overanalyze his statement. Thankfully, the sounds of people counting down above you, distracted your thoughts.

"Oh, it's almost time," you said, looking at the ceiling.

When the voices reached the end, loud cheers and a collective "Happy New Year!" erupted. The sound of fireworks could be heard, and the flash of colors reached your dark room, though you couldn't see the show itself. Loki held out his hand, and from it came his own mini-fireworks. You smiled down at the unexpected surprise, watching the beautiful display. 

"Happy New Year, Darling," Loki whispered, and you looked up over the fireworks, staring into his eyes that reflected the colors sparkling from his hands. He was still closer from when he'd moved to read your mind. There seemed something different in his look, or maybe you were just imagining it. The feeling in your stomach was certainly new. Butterflies fluttered, and you immediately understood the crazy feeling you were letting your silly mind create.

Don't be stupid...he's Loki, you can't like him like that. Just get out of this situation before you start believing it.

Instead, you remained where you were.

"Happy New Year, Loki."

The eye contact and your whirlwind of emotions continued, before you finally made yourself focus on the fireworks. He did the same, but you felt as if he was glancing up every few seconds. You resisted the urge to do the same. You knew you should have rejoined the party, but instead you sat there next to Loki, watching his wonderous magic.