Playlist
-fix it to break it: Clinton Kane
-forget about us: Clinton Kane
-Go to hell: Clinton Kane
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Adalina's POV
Being blindsided by the person you love and the person you thought was your best friend is a whole different kind of heartbreak. The sense of betrayal is like no other. I had to take four months to fall in love with him. It really just took four seconds to bring an end to it.
Patterns occur because interrupting them is uncomfortable. Disrupting a known pattern necessitates an enormous amount of distress and effort. It can sometimes be safer to just continue going in circles instead of addressing the anxiety of flying and potentially not landing on your feet. I think Christian got caught up in this pattern, he would repetitively tell me, "I'm yours, you're my only one, blah blah blah," He got caught up in doing this when his actions say a different story.
Everyone makes mistakes. The mistakes we commit do not constitute a person's character. This is about how we convert our mistakes into experiences instead of justifications. It's interesting how you plan your life but it never plays out the way you anticipated. Rather, it unfolds in ways you never expected. For instance, say you intend to go pursue someone but ultimately end up falling down to the ground. You desire bliss, yet all you receive is suffering. Nothing ever goes according to plan, and I believe this is true for all of us. Everyone is generally satisfied with who they have become and never questions why they have not progressed further. I just question why to haven't Christian and I's relationship progressed.
It's like crumpling up a pristine bit of paper when you violate someone's trust. It may be smoothed over, but it'll never be the same again. What Christian did was horrible, but what my best friend or who I thought my best friend did to me after I told her is just straight-up gross.
"Adalina say something," Christian says as he is still waiting at my door entrance as I gathered my thoughts.
I looked up to him, "Get the fuck out of my sight." I said sternly as I go to close the door, but he injects his foot interfering.
He steps into my apartment, "I'm sorry. I know I fucked up again. I'm so fucked and I'm a horrible person, but you have to understand. Chloe just kept giving me drinks. She just kept giving them to me, and I got too drunk and before I knew it she was on top of me and everything just happened so fast, and I didn't know what to do."
"Stop justifying what you did. I don't want to hear it."
"I love you."
I scoffed, "You have an odd fucking way of showing it." I said pausing looking over at him. He was sitting in a slumped position, tears in his eyes, his eyes were red from the alcohol, and he just smelt like a drunk, "You fuck up only when you drink excessively. You need to stop or it'll wind you up in a bad place later on."
"Why aren't you mad at Chloe or Mason, they basically kind of forced this."
"Oh I'm mad at Chloe, but they didn't force you into anything, you just couldn't simply keep your dick in your pants for once."
"I'm sorry."
"Stop saying that. Cause you don't mean it. So stop." I practically yell.
"I do mean it."
"Fuck off." I paused, "And you wanted to get back together? You wanted me to gain your trust back? Well, guess what.." I said grabbing a stopping mid-sentence and grabbing a glass coffee mug that he bought me, "This mug, it's my trust." I said, dropping the coffee mug on the floor as it shatters everywhere, "And this mess, it's what you keep breaking. Have fun trying to fix it. Because I'm done trying to fix something when it seems you really don't give a damn. Now get the hell out of my apartment." I said walking to the door, staring off into space as he finally walks out and I slammed my door shut.
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It's been a week and a half now since what had happened and I haven't spoken to Chloe or Mason. I have spoken to Christian because he is very persistent and comes over every day. I could tell that he knew he really messed up this time. Because not only did he fuck someone else but he fucked my best friend or who I thought was my best friend. Christian and I have had a mature conversation and I told him that he just needs to simply let me be and heal on my own. If it's meant to be it'll be and he shouldn't force it because he will only drive me further away.
During this week I went through many emotions such as starting up work again, university, and well this. I found myself asking if the people that hurt me truly loved me like they said they did because their actions weren't reflective of their words.
-
After a long exhausting day of work, I decided to call Mason. The phone rang a couple of times and I didn't think he was going to pick up because he might be going through that breakup, but I was surprised he did.
"Hello?" he said over the phone.
"Is it okay if I come over?"
He paused before he answered, "Umm yeah, Christian is here right now. We were talking about what happened last week so, yeah we can all talk."
"Perfect," I said then hanging up quickly.
-
Once I go Mason's place, the house was a mess, knowing that Chloe was the one that would clean and now she is gone. Mason led me to the couch where Christian was sitting. I sat down next to him and gave him a light smile.
"I'm sorry Adalina," Mason said.
I took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to respond, "Yeah."
"No, like I'm really sorry. What we did is inexcusable."
"I understand," I said cutting him off.
"No, I don't think you do," he said before starting to explain the situation in greater detail. I signed and turned to face Christian. He mouth, 'I'm sorry' and gave me a sad look. And something inside me clicked.
I grabbed onto Christian's face and slammed my lips onto his. I could tell he was taken back by it, but then felt his hands on my hips which felt so familiar and so comfortable. I then broke away from Christian and noticed Mason stopped talking and had such a confused look on his face.
I go up from Christian's embrace and walked over sitting on Mason's lap. I brushed my fingers through his hair and gently placed my lips on his, "Wait a second. You aren't mad?" Mason asked.
I nodded a 'no' and said, "I just want to be fucked." I said looking straight into his hazel-colored eyes. I turned to face Christian, "Chris, do you wanna fuck me?" He looked up and nodded as he got up.
I felt harsh kisses on my neck from Christian as Mason's hands explored my body under my shirt. He tilted his head to hook his lips over my nipple, palming and groping the fabric over the delicate mesh of my bra. Christian used it as an opportunity to kiss me, wrapping one palm around the back of my neck as his mouth clashed with mine and his fingers slipped beyond my panties making me moan when he touched me.
"You're so wet."He said in my ear. He bit down on my lower lip as I palmed him over his trousers, a grin on his face appeared. Mason unclasped my bra, and I quickly took off my shirt revealing my bare skin as the bra fell on the floor both of them smirking. I soon felt cold long fingers slip inside me not knowing whose it was I just kept kissing Christian. I then felt Christian grab my waist and lay me down on the couch. He threw one of my legs over his shoulder and locked me into a position with one hand on my thigh and the other on my hips, preventing me from moving anywhere. He got a few strokes in before he was replaced by Mason. Christian Made sure to not break eye contact with me as he placed his long fingers down on me. After Mason was done with a few strokes Christian say down and I sat on top of him taking in his length as Mason sat down next to us.
I made sure to almost get him to his climax and right before he did I got off and got onto Mason. I grunted as he placed his hands on my waist and picked up his pace. Before I knew it he finished inside me as I also finished my climax. Mason and I both smiled as our sweaty bodies collided. I turned over to Christian and quickly placed myself onto him to finish him off. Once Christian did finish, I quickly made my way to the bathroom to clean up and put my clothes on.
"Well that was fun, I better get going. I have so much school work." I said gathering my things.
"Yeah, I have some things as well." Said Christian as we both walked out together, "What the fuck was that?" Christian yelled outside my car.
"What?" I said.
"If you wanted to fuck Mason to get back at me you could have just done that with me, not in the room. It's like I wasn't even there. Like I meant nothing to you. Like our past and current relationship meant nothing." He said as he grabbed my arm.
I yanked my arm back, "Doesn't feel so good does it." I said getting into my car and driving away leaving him standing there speechless.