A/N: The song of this chapter is Yellow by Coldplay! I recommend listening to it whilst reading the first bit of this chapter <3
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Aires pov...
After revealing to Deaton everything I knew, I needed air. The mistletoe was coming up more frequently, not just once a week. Since I had told him the truth over the phone, Stiles had been stuck to my side, walking with me in silence through the woods.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He whispered, breaking her from her thoughts.
"What?"
"Why didn't you tell me about the mistletoe, that you were dying?"
With a heavy sigh I stopped walked and plopped down onto the forest floor. The sky was full of stars and no cloud in sight, so I pushed onto my back and rested my hands by my sides, gazing up at the stars above me.
"I didn't tell anyone because it's my problem." I muttered with a shrug. "And besides, it's the least worrying thing happening right now."
Stiles quickly jumped down next to me, mirroring my position and glancing up to the sky. "Ree, you're dying, someone is trying to kill you. That's the only thing I care about. Screw whatever else is happening in this town, none of it matters to me. You, you matter to me."
His words were like a knife to my soul.
An uneasy feeling settled in my stomach at his last words. You matter to me. The words hit me straight in the heart, bringing back the heavy ache that I had felt since the morning in his jeep.
"If you could take all the pain and suffering away to live a normal life, even if it meant getting rid of all your memories, your past, would you do it?" He suddenly asked in a hushed whisper.
"Honestly, I don't know anymore. My answer always used to be a no, but now it seems like everything just keeps getting worse. Ask me again in a year, I'll probably have a proper answer then."
"A lot can happen in a year. What do you hope will change?"
I involuntarily bit the inside of my cheek, a nervous habit I had picked up over the summer. There was a lot that I hoped would change, but most of all, I wanted to be myself again- though the possibility of it happening further away with every day that passed.
I would never be myself again. I was spiralling, becoming a version of myself I loathed. I was dabbling in drugs, alcohol and partying, distracting myself with sex. There was never a hope for me to be my old self again, not with the way I was going. I wasn't planning on stopping.
"Well I hope they bring out a new Avenger movie." I whispered, earning a playful laugh from the boy beside me.
"Give me a serious answer Ree." He choked out with a grin on his face.
"I am serious." I shot back defensively. "I need more Natasha Romanoff scenes, like literally anything. I'll settle for breadcrumbs at this point."
A comfortable silence settled between us, my eyes got lost in the stars whilst Stiles gazed at me from the side- I could feel him watching me, and I loved and hated it at the same time.
"I love the stars." I blurted out.
"Really?" Stiles hummed.
"Yeah, they are the only thing in life that's permanent. No matter what happens in life, no matter how bad it gets, I know that all I need to do is look up at the sky and find the stars. The stars will always stay."
A smile made its way onto the boy's lips as his eyes met mine. I could see the hundreds of questions that hid behind his eyes, questions he was desperate to ask me.
"Scott was raging today." He whispered, his eyes still on mine.
"I know. I've never seen him so angry before."
"I know- he despises Aiden."
There it was, that was what I was waiting for. I could tell Stiles wanted to ask, to know what it was that between me and Aide.
I knew that he knew we had history, anyone with eyes could see that. Shaking my head, I moved my body to the side, closing the gap between us and took his hand into mine, intertwining our hands and placing them on his chest.
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Aires pov...
"Stiles." I whined for the hundredth time. "You don't have to follow me up to my room. Trust me, I have climbed this fire escape multiple times in the past two weeks, I'm pretty much a pro now."
"I don't care how many times you've climbed up here Ree, I will still always follow after you."
With a scoff, I rolled my eyes at the boys persistence. "Fine, when your legs ache like hell tomorrow don't complain to me about-" A yelp left my lips as my foot slipped off one of the rings, making me accidentally let go of the railing.
Quickly, Stiles arm snaked around my body and pulled me into his chest whilst his other arm tightened it's grip on the railing.
"You okay?" He whispered in my ear.
A smirk tugged on my lips as I gave him a light nod. Our faces were inches apart, in one swift movement the gap could be closed. I didn't know if it was because I was still high as a kite, or because I was horny as hell- but I wanted to close the gap, I wanted to feel my lips on his.
"Ree." Stiles whispered whilst tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "We can't." He muttered, reading my mind. "Remember your rule, no kissing."
"What if I want to break my rule?" I shot back whilst slowly inching forward.
I was defiantly high, clearly not thinking of the consequences as I inched closer towards the boy. I wasn't thinking of anything, of how catastrophic it would be if we kissed, if our lips touched.
I wanted to escape the roaring voices in my head, I needed to escape.
"Well then you should, if it's what you really want."
"Do you want me to break the rule?"
Stiles licked his lips as he rested his forehead against mine. "More than I've ever wanted anything in my life." He whispered back. "But- you have a rule for a reason."
"Fuck my rule and fuck me instead." I shot back playfully.
Just as our lips almost touched, the sound of Stiles' phone ringing broke us out of our own little world. Scotts name flashed across the screen, reminding me of what I had almost done.
I was still so out of it on fentanyl that I almost destroyed everything, I was so off my head on drugs that I almost shattered it all. Shaking off the chill that raced down my spine, my smirk was replaced with my usual scowl.
I needed to get away from him before I did something stupid, before I did something I couldn't take back.
"Thanks for walking me home." I muttered before pulling myself out of the boy's hold and climbing through my window.
The second my back hit the wall I let out a heavy sigh and sank to the floor. No matter how badly I wanted to kiss Stiles, I wouldn't let myself. I almost slipped up, I almost let my heart win however, my head knew better. Kissing him would be putting him in danger, I would never let anyone I cared about die because of me ever again.
Not after Sage.
I could never be what Stiles wanted, what he needed. I knew I would never be good enough for him. He was too good, too pure. I would corrupt him. I would ruin him.
I wished I was someone else, anybody else. Somebody who could love Stiles without consequences, but I couldn't. I was corrupted, tainted, scarred. I couldn't be what he wanted, or what he needed. I was nothing but an illusion, an image he created in his head.
I wasn't her and she wasn't me.
I didn't know how to love, not the way Stiles wanted. I broke, and I corrupted and I snaked my way into a person, leaving only scars behind. I ruined Sage, and I would ruin him.
With a shake of my head, I forced thoughts of the boy aside and pushed myself onto my feet. I needed to get a fucking grip of myself- well, I needed to snort a couple lines first. As I was pushing myself to stand up, a tall figure sat on my bed caught my eye.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I hissed with a murderous glare.
"You broke my bike."
"You locked me in the closet with a werewolf."
Suddenly, Aiden jumped up from his spot and charged towards me, his chest heaving. "I didn't know." He growled through gritted teeth. "I almost killed Ethan the second I found out."
"Is that right?" I hissed, not believing a word that slipped past his stupid lips.
"God, Aires. Don't you see what you do to me? You make me fucking insane. You turn me into a completely different person, one who's reckless, impulsive. All I think about every minute of every day is you."
I stood motionless in front of Aiden, my lips parted whilst my eyes were slightly narrowed on him. I didn't know what to say, what I heard was not what I expected. I was prepared for a fight, not a fucking confession.
"Oh fucking hell." I cursed under my breath whilst rubbing at my eyes with the heels of my hands. "What is with this whining? God, Aiden, you're pathetic."
"And your mean."
"I am fully aware of the fact that I'm not a fucking saint. I never claimed to be one and I never claimed to be nice. I don't care about any of this shitty you're saying Aiden, go blab it to a tree, it may show more interest than me."
A headache was brewing in my mind whilst my veins rubbed together like sandpaper, sending me over the edge as I longed for something I hadn't had in a couple hours.
"You are all that matters to me." He continued. "I would die before I ever let something happen to you. Everything I've done, everything I'm doing is for you! From the second I first saw you I knew I was gonna fall in love with you. I have been in love with you for all these years, and I never want to lose you again."
I was ready to shoot back a snarky remark, it rested on the tip of my tongue. But before I even to, Aiden quickly closed the gap between us by crashing his lips onto him. I tried to push him off of me, at least I wanted to, however, my hands betrayed me by clinging onto his t-shirt and drawing him closer to me. I needed a distraction, I couldn't fight with him- not when I desperately needed an escape. And as much as I hated him, the urge to soothe the aching in my heart was stronger. I needed drugs, alcohol, sex, any of it. And whilst I couldn't soothe myself with the first two options, I could with the third.
With a small shake of my head, I ripped my lips off his and stared into his dangerous blue eyes. The sound of the window creaking back open sent me into panic mode, shoving his hands off of me, I quickly detangled myself from Aidens hold and shoved him hard.
"What the fuck Aiden." I hissed.
"Aires." He choked out in a breathless whisper at the same time that Stiles climbed through the window.
From the look in his eyes, I knew he knew what had just happened. He had been outside the whole time, he heard it and seen it all. And the guilt suddenly shot through me. The walls were closing in on me the longer I stayed trapped inside my room. Both boys looked at me expectantly, both expecting me to address the other.
They were suffocating me.
"Fuck this." I mumbled before storming across the room to my window.
"Wait!" Aiden suddenly yelled and with wild furious eyes, I shot him a scathing glare.
"Don't you dare follow me!" I snapped, narrowing my eyes in warning. "I'm not doing this Aiden, I can't do this anymore. We've had this fight too many times." I didn't care that Stiles was in the room, that he was witnessing what was happening. "We've been here too many times before, having this exact conversation. We never learn, we keep making the same mistakes. I can't do this anymore, I can't keep up this fight."
"Why not?" He snapped. "Why can't you fight for this-"
"What is there to fight for Aiden?" I screamed back. "This is a lost cause-"
"Not to me. I'm in love with you-"
"You are so full of shit, Aiden." I snarled.
"You walked away, you left without another word. Did it not occur to you once over the years that the reason I never chased after you was because I was ruined after what happened? When have I not chased after you?"
I couldn't deny what he was saying. He didn't chase after me because he was heartbroken that I had found out. He knew it, I knew it. But he had no right to try and guilt me, he ruined it, not me. It was al on him. He was to blame.
Fuck him for trying to make me feel sorry for him.
"It wasn't real." I muttered with a shake of my head.
"It was real. I'm not a liar, Aires. You know that. I never lied."
I couldn't deny that either, he was right- and I fucking hated it.
"Don't follow me." I muttered before slipping out of my window and running.
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Aires pov...
After a twenty minute jog, I finally arrived at Danny's house. Music blared from inside as crowds of people trailed through the front door and out of it.
"Hey Ree." Danny slurred whilst stumbling over to me.
From around the basement, I received several stare's. If someone went to the basement, they wanted drugs, it was the place where everyone knew to go if they ever wanted something. And I was in desperate need for something. Desperate enough that I didn't give fuck who saw me.
"Danny boy, I need something, anything." I mumbled whilst running my hands frantically through my hair.
"Ree." He whispered with a frown on his face as he placed a hand on my shoulder.
"No." I snapped, shoving his hand off of me. "Don't fucking give me that talk, I don't care. I need something, anything." I hissed.
"Aires, I care about you. I'm not gonna help you keep destroying yourself."
A scoff fell from my lips as I narrowed my eyes on him. "If you care about me then fucking help me." I snapped. "God Danny just fucking give me something! Anything! Please."
"No Aires. I can't keep watching you do this to yourself, you're spiralling. Your addicted-"
"I'm not fucking addicted to drugs, Danny. Yes, I may be using them a bit more than just for a one off and yes it's not great but you don't understand. I need them, please. It makes me alive, it's the only thing keeping me alive right now-"
"Aires, if you carry on down this path, it's gonna take your life."
I didn't care if it took my life, if it destroyed me, if it ruined me.
"Fuck you Danny." I lowly whispered.
With a shake of his head, I watched in relief as he dug a packet of cocaine out of his pocket and slapped it into my hand, finally giving me what I wanted- needed. I didn't bother to say thank you, not after the shit he had given me before.
Instead I shoved the packet into my pocket and stormed out the basement, rage radiating off of me. I needed to be alone, the boys in my room earlier had brought a nasty headache and my body was consumed with frustration. They pissed me off, everyone pissed me off, the world pissed me off, the universe pissed me off.
I wasn't looking where I was going, I was too caught up in my own head to realised that I had collided into the person who I never thought I would see at the top of the basement stairs. She was walking past at the wrong time, her eyes were on me, and I suddenly had the same startled sensation I had at the realisation when I realised who I was, what my real name was.
"Ree?" Allison whispered, a hint of a frown on her face as her eyes flicked between me and the door behind me.
"I was looking for Danny." I mumbled before pushing past the girl and storming down the hall, desperate to run far, far away from her only to smack into Alex on my way out.
"Hale."
We had gone from using first names to using our last names.
"Banks." I shot back. "You here to argue with me?"
"No." She muttered in a slur with a strange gleam in her eyes.
My eyes flickered down to the bottle in her hand and without another word, I snatched it out of her hang and took a swing of it, ignoring the way it burned the back of my throat as I chugged most of it.
"Easy." She cooed whilst prying the bottle out of my hand. "Rough day?"
"Rough life." I shot back before narrowing my eyes on her. "I like drunk you."
"I like you when i'm drunk." She muttered, a grin on her lips.
We truly could have been good friends, she was just like me and I was just like her. A sharp tongue, mean to a fault, cold and brutally honest. We were scarily similar.
"Why do you want me to stay away from Aiden?" I asked, knowing she was drunk and knowing she would blab the honest truth to me.
"I don't know." She slurred with a frown, though the way she tilted her head, staring off in the distance, it was as if she truly didn't know the answer herself.
It was the look in her eyes that made me realise her answer. The look she wore was a look of a girl in love. Something had happened between her and Aiden, months, years or even days ago. It was over, and she hated that.
Mumbling a quick goodbye, I walked away from her with a strange sensation running through my veins.
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The shit Dany had given Aires didn't last her longer than a day, she had snorted it all in seconds. And it was no where near as strong as what she needed.
"Where the fuck is it." She mumbled under her breath whilst throwing around objects in the room I stayed in at her brothers loft.
She had stashed a packet of oxy somewhere.
"What are you looking for?" Derek's calmly muttered from the doorway, making her entire body tense as she slowly turned to face him.
"You've been in my room." She whispered through gritted teeth.
"If you tell me what you're looking for then maybe I can help you find it."
His generic response pissed her the hell off. After seeing Allison an hour ago at the party, she was paranoid, super paranoid. Too paranoid to be able to tell that Derek had no clue what she was actually looking for.
He didn't know she was looking for her drugs, though something convinced her that he knew.
"You've been in my room." She repeated before turning around and using her magic to throw everything off of her counter.
She was going crazy.
The girl frantically ran around her room, breaking anything that caught her eye until Derek finally grabbed a hold of her
"STOP AIRES!" He yelled, his arms wrapping around her body and hauling her out the room.
"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" She screamed whilst violently pounding on his arms until his grip on her weakened, giving her the perfect opportunity to slip out of his arms.
"WHERE IS IT!" She screamed whilst running over to the kitchen counters and swiping all of its contents onto the floor.
The lights of the loft began to flicker with every swipe of the girl's hands, her magic was spiralling, just like she was.
"WHERE IS IT!" She screamed at the same time the windows and lightbulbs shattered.
Whilst everyone else dropped onto their knees, Aires continued to rip apart the kitchen, looking for the stash she had left in her room for emergencies. She knew she had stashed it somewhere, she just couldn't find where, and she was sure Derek knew where it was.
"WHERE IS IT!" Aires screamed hysterically as a mix of sobs and anger laced her every shout. "Where the fuck is it?" She choked defeatedly whilst sinking onto her knees.
Her hands were covered in blood and small cuts, whilst bruises began to form all over her. She snapped. As her eyes scanned over the room, guilt prickled in her chest. Glass covered the floors along with paintings that once hung on the walls. The once large window that looked onto the town was now gone, a large hole left in its place.
A sob escaped her lips as she finally met eyes with Cora, the sister she had spent the past six years believing was dead. After the vault, Aires had spent very little time with her, flooding her with even more guilt.
"Cora." She whispered, frantically trying to wipe away the never ending tears.
The brunette Hale quickly jumped onto her feet and ran over to the blonde, wrapping her arms tightly around her body. "It's okay." She whispered in her ear, slowly rocking her back and fourth.
"Don't cry little A, it's okay."
The nickname that she had grown up with brought another sob from Aires. It was all too much, she couldn't breathe. She slowly pushed Cora off of her body whilst continually mumbling sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Without another second wasted, Aires sprinted out the door and into the woods, forcing her legs to move faster than she ever has before. After several minutes of running, she came to a stop, her hands resting on her knees whilst she attempted to catch her breath.
From behind her, two tall familiar presences lomed over her, shadowing her with darkness. She slowly turned to face the two defeatedly. She could easily take them, she knew that however she didn't want to fight anymore.
"If you're here to kill me then just get it over with." She sighed defeatedly, her eyes staring lifelessly into the ones she once loved.
A frown touched Aidens lips as he shook his head at the girl. "We're not here to kill you. Deucalion wants you-"
His words were cut off at the sight of Ethan jumping across and smacking a rock at the back of the Hales ' head, sending her crashing onto the floor.
"WHAT THE FUCK ETHAN." Aiden suddenly screamed.
"We were sent to kidnap her, not ease her into coming with us. Deucalion wants her for bait, it's the only way to get what he wants Derek. We get her, he holds her hostage, Derek coes to get her, Derek kills a beta, he joins the pack. Simple."
"Nothing will ever be simple with Aires." Aiden mumbled back.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"If there's one thing I know about her it is to never underestimate her. Anyone who does usually ends up dead."
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MOTEL CALIFORNIA IS COMING UP!! If you're confused about where we are in the teen wolf storyline, it's the episode where Derek 'dies' in the next chapter. ALSO I HAVE A NEW OC THAT WILL BE INTRODUCED SOON...
This chapter was super hard for me to write. I have struggled with addiction since I was thirteen, and have finally made the decision to try and get clean. It had been part of my life for almost four years and this year I decided I wanted out. I was in denial with the fact that I was addicted to what I was doing, I couldn't stop and it took someone yelling at me to realise what was happening.
If any of you are struggling with addiction please message me, I am always here for you. There is always help.
I love you <3