Roohi's POV:
The day he was going back to Amravathi...
The day we met for the last time...
I strongly knew that I will have to face this ugliest day sooner or later and gathering myself I was thoroughly prepared to endure the pain I was about to earn
And unfortunately, the day has arrived to slash my heart
For the first time he was that close to me and touched me and as mentioned in any Wattpad novel I didn't feel any shiver...any goosebumps...any tingling sensation nothing...
Instead, I felt a warmth...a soothing warmth that was trying to calm down the havoc of my thumping heart and bestowing the strength in me...
The warmth of his rough palms against my teary cheeks felt so serene and peaceful
My eyes fixed at him capturing his face to my heart content as if they knew they would never get to see this face again...
With those hair playing on his forehead that my fingers always loved to tease to get a cute groan...those intense brown orbs that would go red every now and then adorned with thick brows...the sharp nose that used to scrunch like a small kid and his favourite rugged beard he always looked like a baby wrapped in the big body to me
Indeed he was a baby...my baby❤
While I saw my reflection in his soft brown orbs a tiny hope flushed my heart but his instant sharp glaze warned me to whip the never fulfilling hope and a sob escaped my mouth with fresh tears
His thumb began stroking my cheek gently while my tears began wetting his palms and fingers hugged his wrist so tightly that I felt his veins against my fingers
"We knew this is going to happen someday," he said in his composed voice while I stifled a sob against my lips and nodded mechanically
"You know I hate these sobs and all" he said wiping my tears while composing myself I complained "Why is this so much complicated??" for which he softly explained "Its fate that can not be changed" while I immediately screeched "Then this fate is a bad thing"
He didn't say anything but nodded as he huffed
While his fingers kept comforting me a thick lump gulped down my throat and I complained again "Is this end needed??"
He looked at me for a while as his gaze softened and rested his forehead against mine and his voice croaked "You have to let me go"
And that's it...
I couldn't take those words...
I just hide myself in his chest and clutched his shirt tight in my fists...
His fingers ran through my hair as the other hand wrapped around my shoulder holding me close to him...
And at that moment I was lost into something...
My chest felt so warm...
Something warm in my stomach too and kinjal's words echoed my ears and I felt exactly the same...
Word to word the feeling was so same...
Some kind of warmness in my stomach, feeling like I have something inside it...
And for a second it felt like I actually had a baby inside my womb...
I had only read about such feelings on Wattpad but trust me when I actually experienced it...it was beyond words
Such a powerful feeling it was...
I could never forget it...
It was a memorable hug...
It was our first and last both...
I had mixed feelings...
The peace and that tender happiness of being in his arms for the first time vanished so quickly when I realised that tender feeling being the last one I'll be experiencing and I was left with sorrows to accompany me...
"You will be coming to the Himalayas to meet me right??" He whispered in my hair
Backing off his chest I wiped her tears and tickling his beard I softly said "Don't grow much beard that I would not even recognise you Babaji"
"Take care of yourself...don't think much and remember
We are still friends" he said as he brushed off the hair from my forehead
"We are??"
"Of course"
*********
This is how we had started...
And again this is how we have ended..
I walked back with a cold heavy heart...
It is said that one of the most ugliest things this destiny will ever do to you is to let you meet the right person at the wrong time...and sometimes it brings someone into your life who is never meant to be yours and tears you apart in the name of this renowned Destiny's Play
In this destiny play, you meet someone and spend your days dreaming of the beautiful moments of holding them in your arms so close to feel your hearts speaking their love but it's not that destiny provides everyone with their love....sometimes it's cruel...too cruel to survive
But then it's life too...and life has to move on
And life being harsh as ever was on its duty...
Things were getting more complicated...the development of the situation was more terrible and excessive than I thought and imagined...
When he left everything around me felt distressing and I was on the verge of losing my sanity...
Nothing was in my favour...
I couldn't get him out of my head...
Time and incidents made things ugliest and worst...I would do something...see something that would remind me of him and would put me back into the shell...
Then my diary helped...
Nowhere to look for you
There is no moment that my heart forgets you
Without you every moment is bitter
Without you every part of me feels hollow
My eyes yearn for my reflection in yours
But as they didn't get to see it tears welled up my heart and oozed out every ounce of my soul
Left with loneliness and pain
The battle between my heart and brain
The humiliation of my feelings
The pain is killing me
And the pain completely killed me when I got the news...
"I said yes to Shivani...
Our horoscopes matched"
Under the blanket I felt my eyes turning red and nose getting sour...it felt like my heart had already began crying as words by words reached my senses...
"It was bound to happen...
When two people are destined to be together nothing can keep them apart" I silently wept as she typed...
"You are ok??"
"Yes I am"
"Sorry"
"Don't be"
I knew it was supposed to happen one day...
I was one of them who shipped him with her...
I was one of them who asked him to marry her..
Why was he being sorry??
And why the hell I was crying??
I didn't want to cry...
I am strong enough to survive this...
But then I had to spit it out too...
So I did...
A bud of love was unknowingly and unwillingly sowed in my heart
I tried to grow it with a blind hope of light but it didn't grow inside me
May be the light of love wasn't enough
May be the warmth of the water wasn't enough
Maybe it didn't like my heart
It just didn't happen
But I am thankful to you
For entering my life
For hurting me
For letting me madly fall in love with you
For igniting unbearable emotions inside me
Most importantly...
For not loving me...
I walked despite everything
Despite the thorns inside me that kept pricking my unstable steps towards you
Despite the knives that kept stabbing my heart that loved only you
But it's over now...
I have to give up on you
I have to give up on my insatiable love
I have to stop the flow of my flooding heart
I have to stop capturing your face in the depth of my hollow yet painful eyes
But I don't want to...
I don't want to give up on my love
I just don't want to
Because...
I can't...
But I have to...
I am helpless...
Mixed emotions of anger pain bitterness hollowness surged my heart
My heart itself is a hollow piece now...
Can't help...
You are going on a new path
A beautiful path
She will be with you in every step you take
Walking together on your new path you'll reach your destination
The same destination my heart dreamt of
The same destination in which I wanted our hands to be intertwined in every turn
The same destination that was never mine
The same destination that will never be mine