A dagger and a silk heart.
— Sandra Cisneros
✵
Him
"The force we're against is strong, and the price it requires is big."
"All great things require sacrifices."
"Not always. Some things require wit. Between the two, which would you choose?"
"Do you have a plan?"
His friend smiles at his question and crumbles the map before throwing it into the fire. It turns to ashes in the flames. He lazily drags his eyes back to him from the fire.
"You underestimate my brother," he tells him. "Sulaiman has an army behind him. If you go against him, there's an equal chance of you losing as of you winning. Then why take the risk when you can raise the stakes in your favor?"
"How come?"
"I don't have a plan. You've to make one." He gets up and walks past him. Then stops and places a hand over his shoulder. "If you want the throne, then earn it for yourself."
"The throne is yours, Yusuf."
He laughs at his comment and pats his back. "You succeeded me. Will you allow me to overthrow you?"
He smirks. "Will you?"
"Ah, the lust for power is a dangerous thing. Nothing in the world can satiate it. We always want more, now don't we?" He pulls the hood of his cloak over his head. "I might if you fail. The shadows have treated you fair for long, but maybe it's time you step into the light and prove your worth."
He chuckles at the suggestion and stands up too. "So, Al Shafay shall make an appearance then, I see. Sounds fun, my friend."
Her
The rain is gentle like her touch on the gold head chain he had gifted her some time ago. She had liked it very much, and he had liked it on her as much, as his eyes had told her. And if she valued it before, she treasures it now. Things between them didn't change all at once, yet still this shift of feelings surprises her. It's unexpected, but it's intense, so much so that it has mended her heart that was broken before. But she's well aware that though this has become her healing, so can this be the reason to break her again.
The gardens of the palace spread before her as she watches them from her balcony. The sky despite the drizzle retains it's shades of orange near the horizon. Her eyes follow her husband walking besides Taha ibn Amr, the new general of Baghdad, as they discuss something. For the past few days that they've returned to the palace, that is what he has been up to-- strategizing with the officials and generals. He has been busy and absent, and though she understands it, she misses him.
"What we love, janem, holds power over us," she mumbles and clasps her fingers around the head-chain, looking away from him up to the heavens. "Then the power either saves us or destroys us."
Her attention returns to him when she notices the queen approaching the men. They stop, talk about something, and Adam says something to Arwa to which she tips her head before saying something back and he nods. He then says something to Taha who tips his head at him too.
Noura leans forward on the wooden handrail. She doesn't need to ask to know that the tension is thick in the air. The general leaves them alone, and Adam escorts Arwa inside. She's left watching the drizzle over the gardens now, the flowers dancing in the breeze and somewhere birds chirping as they fly towards their shelters. She closes her eyes and inhales deeply.
"Who is it I love when I love you but don't know you? What love is it? What name do I give it?" She leaves the balcony and enters her chamber, leaving the doors open as she walks towards bed, dropping the head chain there. "Why is there an arrow shot through my heart from your bow? If I leave it there, I bleed. If I pull it out, I die. What is the remedy to this dilemma? What is the answer to your riddle?"
She goes to open her closet and takes out a box. She removes the lid and finds the crystal crescent moon pendant lying in it-- a pendant she had seen in the bazar of Isfahan and Al Shafay had send it to her. Noura picks it up and holds it against her palm. The crystal shines different shades-- shades numerous and changing similar to the people around her.
"Al Shafay, and who are you, my Khalifa? What is it that everyone hints about you to me but my heart won't succumb to it?"
She comes to sit on the bed and looks down at the head-chain, her thoughts spiraling in territory of dangerous possibilities.
"Adam, this hope that somewhere you're a good man who has saved me than a bad man who has bluffed me burns within me. This hope will kill me. My love for you will kill me, janem."
A knock comes at the door. She places the pendent in the box and puts it aside before granting permission to the person to come in. He walks in seconds afterwards with a fleeting smile.
"Noura."
She stands up and returns his smile as he comes to hold her close, putting his hands over her arms.
"So you finally think of me," she reprimands lightly.
"I do so always, azizi."
"Lies."
She tries to step back but he takes her in his arms, kissing atop her head. She gives in easily with a sigh.
"I worry so much, Adam," she tells him, letting her emotions pour out to him. "I'm so scared."
Adam pulls away to look at her, the creases between his eyebrows showing his own concern. "What are you scared of?"
"Time. The way it takes away people from us. The way it changes feelings. It breaks hearts."
"It mends them too."
She shakes her head. "But I'm lonely."
He takes her face in his hands, gazing at her lovingly. "You've me, farasha."
"No, Adam. No matter how close you come to me, you always have something obscure about you-- hidden, cryptic, sinister. I'm afraid you too will break my heart," she voices feebly, toying with his armor and unable to meet his eyes.
He tips up her chin so their gazes are forced battle, but his orbs retain their adoration towards her.
"Even if I'm dark, Noura, I'm lonely without you too. So only if you'll have me, I'll welcome all you can give me. Only if you allow me to be with you, maybe we can share this loneliness and it won't be as scary. I would never break your heart, not intentionally."
"Have you kept things from me?"
"Have you?"
She doesn't answer, and he gives her hand a gentle squeeze.
"We'll fix everything. Together," he reassures her. "I need you, so stay with me."
He turns to leave but she grasps his wrist. "Adam?"
He looks back at her.
"Will the caliph kill Eskander?"
"Noura, he's a traitor--"
"Please don't," she begs, her voice hitching in her throat as she pushes back her tears. "Imprison him, send him into exile, or give him another punishment if you capture him, but don't kill him."
He exhales heavily, conflicted and worn out, and reaches out to stroke her cheek. "Don't cry for him. If you forget about him, I'll forget about him. How come I make you suffer for something so trivial? His life will be spared."
"His life is trivial to you, but not to me or my family."
"As I said, forget about him."
He smiles at her, but it isn't warm how it lately has been. Rather it has a chill like how she would witness when the flames between them weren't yet kindled. The same icy look of a demon from hell. Sometimes, he frightens her. Sometimes she cannot decipher him.
"All will be well," he promises, tone both soft yet alarming. "Everything will be as you desire. As long as I have you and you have I, the rest of the matters are trivial to me."
"And the caliph?"
He steps towards her and leans down. Her eyes widen in anticipation and he tilts his head, lips coming to rest upon her neck, kissing up her jaw and nuzzling his way to her ear.
"He surrendered to his heart, malikati."
He leaves, the day blends away, and evening falls. He doesn't come to share dinner with her. After all, no one still knows about their marriage besides Muawwiz, who hasn't bothered with her since their last encounter. But the things he had said to her had stayed to do so.
Daud had told her that Adam has gone out of palace for something important. She assumes he has to meet Yusuf bin Khalid. There are things she needs to discuss with him, but he seems to be dealing with too much already for her to add more to it.
The attack upon them of which she has no proof to put any allegations upon Maysoon, her encounters with Sulaiman bin Khalid, her knowledge of Eskander's rebellion against the crown and Fereydun's betrayal, everything she knew but kept to herself. She cannot imagine how Adam might react once he learns of them.
The water in the tub soothes her and provides her warmth. The silence of the hammam allows her to drift away from her worries and the ache of her mind. She seeks solace. She needs an escape. But the palace is a gilded cage and she's a bird trapped. Maybe someday she'll fly away. Maybe she won't see the sky from behind the bars then.
She throws back her head and sinks lower into the water. Her eyelids flutter close and she hums to herself. Maybe someday Adam will not be a stranger to her and she to him.
"Maybe, sayidi, you're who I'm scared of. Who are you?" She rubs her eyes. "Who are you?"
"Your death," someone speaks from behind her. Before she can react, the person grabs her by her hair and shoves her head down the water.
Noura instantly tries to push back. She claws at the fingers in her hair. She holds her breath. She tries to fight. But she's in at a disadvantage given her position. The person behind her easily overpowers her.
She throws her arms around in water helplessly. But no matter what, she cannot free herself. Though she digs her nails in the person's wrist, trying to hurt her, she doesn't let her go.
The water begins to choke her. She struggles to breath. Her mind starts blacking out. Her struggles begin to weaken. And just when she thinks it to be the end, the hold on her is released and she's pulled out.
Noura gasps for air. She coughs violently. She clings to life. She can breathe again, and so she gasps for each breath.
As she regains her senses, she looks behind her to find Arwa, Manizheh lying at her feet, dead, with her throat slit and a bloody dagger clutched in the queen's hand.
"Never liked her," Arwa remarks coolly, dropping the dagger over her body before reaching out for her. "Are you alright, azizati?"
She doesn't get to reply as she catches a shadow behind the queen. Acting instinctively, she grabs Arwa and pulls her out of the way when someone tries to attack her. Noura pushes back in the tub as Maysoon stumbles forward. Their eyes connect, and she sees pandemonium breaking loose in there.
"Lucky, aren't you?" The amire grits. "You keep evading death, but not this time."
She raises her dagger but Arwa clasps her arm. "Maysoon! Have you gone mad?!"
"Yes!"
She attacks the queen instead. Arwa holds her back, pushing her away as she tries to stab her, but she doesn't give up and lunges at her again.
"Stop this lunacy!"
But she doesn't stop and manages to push the queen to the floor. "You're a witch, Arwa. You drove Yusuf crazy with your sorcery, and now this woman is doing the same, not only to Eskander but Sulaiman too. I won't let my brother endanger himself for her anymore. You might have won with Yusuf, but she won't win with Sulaiman."
Arwa holds Maysoon's hand that has the dagger barely inches away from her face. "She has Al Shafay, amira. You're making a dangerous enemy."
"We'll see about that. Because from the look of the situation, the title of Khalifa will pass to Sulaiman soon. And Nour will never become his queen as he desires. I'll kill her before that day comes!"
Amidst the chaos, Noura manages to grab a towel around herself and searches for a weapon, but she can only find a candleholder. She grabs it in her frenzy and rushes towards the women wrestling on the floor.
"You as a queen was enough of a suffering already. I won't suffer the same again with her now. I will--"
Maysoon doesn't get to finish as Noura smacks her with the candleholder. The dagger falls from her hand and she collapse to the floor. And only when she sees the blood trickling down her head does she realize the gravity of the deed done. Her hands tremble from the aftereffects of her actions and the consequences of them wipes away her sanity.
She stares at the princess in horror until she hears Arwa's voice shaking her out of the shock.
"Noura, let's go from here."
"Did I kill her?" she asks in dread.
"No, no you haven't. Come on now, I'll call someone for help. Go to your chamber."
She doesn't know how she obeys the command, how she gets to her chamber, or what happens afterwards. She doesn't receive any news, nor realizes how much time has passed. Two guards remain outside her door and Arwa advises her not to leave her room. It feels suddenly as if an eternity has passed, yet as if all eternity has constricted into one awful moment. She cannot think straight, neither can she calm her thoughts. Everything around her begins to suffocate her.
The thread of dawn traces the horizon and the night departs with the first ray of sun piercing through the darkness. She sits on her bed with her knees hugged to her chest and her face buried against them. Noura sobs softly and rocks back and forth as she consoles herself. Whatever she did was done in her panic, to save herself and the queen, and her intention was never to kill the princess. But if she dies, she knows the punishment will be dire. She's member of the royal family after all.
But then again, Arwa is a witness to the accident. She has hope. But will she be able to help her?
Her thoughts are interrupted as the doors to her chamber are banged open. She jumps, startled, but relief washes over her when she sees her husband barging in.
"Adam."
Noura leaps from the bed towards him and he opens her arms for her right away. She throws into them.
"I didn't want to," she croaks, hiccuping as she cries. "I... I was frightened and I... She attacked me... and the queen... I tried to save us," she explains between her sobs and he rubs her back to calm her.
"Shhhh, I know, I know."
"Is she... alive?" Noura pulls back to look at him and he nods, wiping away her tears with his thumb.
"Don't worry yourself now."
"Will I be punished for attacking the princess?"
A storm rises in his orbs at her query, so fierce, it drowns the world around them. "No one can dare." He kisses her forehead soothingly. "Are you hurt?"
She shakes her head. "Be with me."
"I'm with you, Noura."
He embraces her and she clutches his sleeves, as if clinging to life, finding comfort in his arms. But it isn't long lived as the doors open again and soldiers march in. Noura watches them in angst and fright and Adam scowls at them, pushing her behind him.
"What irreverence is this?!" he demands harshly, vibrating in rage. "How dare you step into this chamber?!"
"We beg your pardon, sayidi, but we're order to present the lady in the court for attacking the Amira."
"Who gave you the order?!"
"The Ameer."
"Go back," Adam barks, striding towards them. "If any of you wants his head still on his shoulders, then turn away and don't dare to enter this chamber again."
But the soldiers don't budge. The one at the front nods to the other to proceed who steps forward, but Adam grabs him by his neck and in one shove sends him rolling on the ground.
"I said: Get. Lost," he hisses through clenched teeth, and Noura can see he's close to losing control. The fury he's radiating seems to sizzle the air around them.
"Sayidi, we're bound to obey the orders--"
"Then obey my orders!" he roars and unsheaths his sword. "Because I am your Khalifa!"
If Noura was shocked or scared before, now she's totally stupefied and dumbstruck. She blinks. Maybe this is a dream-- a nightmare. Maybe all the doubts spiraling in her head are distorting the reality for her. She blinks again. Maybe the scene will dissolve anytime. Maybe she will wake up.
But nothing changes. The scene remains the same. Adam remains the same, yet at the same time he doesn't-- suddenly he has become a stranger she no longer recognizes. Suddenly her fears prove to be true.
"Wh-what?" the soldier stammers, terror and disbelief clear in his eyes.
"I, Adam Al Kurdiya, son of Marwan Al Kurdiya and Halah bint Al Malik, am a prince and descendant of the royal blood. I am Al Shafay. I am the ruler of this kingdom." He twirls his sword and steps forward. "I can have your heads under my axe, hang your bodies from the trees and put your heads on the spikes, and display you in public square as a lesson for those who disobey my orders. Any of you who's ready to be an example can come forward."
He turns to look at her, and one glimpse of those eyes is enough to demolish every reason, every query, every confusion of hers. The pieces of the puzzle fits. The colors of the portrait blend. And the riddle finds its answer.
"Noura Al Makhzum is my wife," Adam announces, loud and proud, and she realizes the battle she had been fighting she had lost it before it even began. "No one can touch my queen."
He holds her eyes. And as she had once thought, when the curtains falls, when masks are removed, and the truth is revealed, then every eye connecting with hers is a beast unleashed behind the pretense of the man.
"Obey your caliph, men," someone commands. Noura doesn't need to see who it is. At his voice, the soldiers file out of her chamber without anymore resilience.
"Where is Arwa?"
"Courtroom," Adam replies in a single word, and Yusuf leaves without another.
The doors are closed. They're left alone. He's a few steps away. But she feels miles between them-- distance that years of traveling cannot cross. Distance that one would wish to keep between themselves and a beast. For she realizes he has been a master of this plot and she a puppet. For her strings had been in his hands all along and she danced at his fingertips as he desired.
And so she had been lured and fooled into his trap. And so she had been devoured by the beast.
✵
So, thoughts? Any idea what is to come?
We still might have surprises up head. Hold onto your hearts.
✵