I remained quiet on the way there, unwilling to upset him. His mind was mostly blocked to me, a few little thoughts slipping through occasionally. Mostly, I just sensed his emotions. There was anxiety, some anger, and a whole lot of determination. The mixture had me confused, and a bit anxious myself.
When I landed, the dark side was so very heavy, it's weight trying to pull me down. Up on a cliff was a huge black building, strikingly similar to the command shuttle. I could feel souls as I stepped off the ramp onto the landing pad that he'd instructed me to land on. It didn't even lead to anything, the platform was just gone.
I spun around, taking in the scene and the aura of the planet. It was fucking hot. I was grateful I wasn't wearing my flight suit—it would be sticking to me in all the wrong places.
The lava was like river rapids, splashing violently below. It was... beautiful. And terrifying. Like Kylo.
I turned to look at him at the thought. He was just standing there, staring at me though his mask. I didn't hate the mask, but I hated not being able to see his face. However, I didn't need it to know what he was feeling.
"What do you think?" his modulated voice rang out.
"Honestly?"
"Obviously." Surprisingly, he didn't sound annoyed.
"It's beautiful."
He flared, his body seeming to grow taller as his presence in the force followed suit. "How can you say that if you live in the light?"
"Kylo!" I finally snapped. "You can't have one without the other! It would be like being allowed to eat, but never drink. Why would you want to only reach half of your potential?"
"It's not the same thing! How can you gleam power from both sides?" His rage was building, and I thought the wind was picking up, but maybe it was my imagination.
After a deep breath, I took a step toward him and slipped off my glove.
"Let me show you," I said over the wind, reaching my hand out.
He hesitated before taking his own glove off. Our fingertips touched, and I closed my eyes. Once I knew for sure he was with me, his impatience flailing, I mentally melted into the planet.
I walked with the dark side, observing it, showing him what I saw.
The raging lava that used to power so much; the xandanks and lava fleas and lava eel; the battle that took place between two Jedi; the long gone victims of Vader, many of them Jedi. And of course, Vader himself, seemingly left a presence, like a cloud around his fortress.
I gasped as I watched it, a mere second in real time, too long, in my mind. Then I reached further, and I found the light, in the form of a pregnant woman, screaming for Anakin. There was Obi-Wan, still on the ship, and even two droids that brought light to the dark planet, in their own way. But that was it from the last 300 years of the planet's history. There was little light.
I focused back on the fleas. In my mind: do you see those?
Yes, his voice said in my head. It was sultry, it made me focus falter for a moment.
I imagined the world with the Kongo still inhabiting it. A massive, terrifying, dark beast employed by the Empire. It was dark, yet, it kept the population of fleas and xandanks down, so other small species were able to live, including sentients. Even on this twisted, dark planet, light did occasionally shine through. If it didn't, it would die.
Exactly like it was.
The planet was tearing itself apart without the light. I showed him what has changed in the last 300 years, how the planet has degraded further, how the core is snapping, the species dying. The sentient inhabitants have fled, knowing this. If they'd remained, the planet may have begun to slowly heal itself. But their departure had been the final blow to the planet's ecosystem.
I pulled my mind back to him, and showed him what I saw in him.
A Kongo. An apex predator, wrapped in chains, locked to the dark side. He can only go as far as he is allowed.
Then I showed him me. An apex predator, with freedom. With choices. I have no chains. I can skip to the dark side and dance with it, and go back to the light side for morning tea. I am whole.
He almost left then, but I fully gripped his hand in mine, my fingers tangling with his.
Then I showed him, him. Whole, with no chains. Laughing. Powerful. Focused. Free. Choices. Options. Light powers, dark powers.
I heard him gasp, and his hand in mine yanked me closer. His mask hit the ground, audible even over the wind and lava rivers, and his lips were on mine, the spell broken, a new one taking its place.
Need consumed me as I let him pick me up. He slammed me against the command shuttle and growled, still kissing me.
He removed his lips and stared at me for a moment, breathing heavy. The wind whipped violently around us, the air hot and stifling. I wanted to reach out, to run my hands through his hair. Instead, I let my head fall to the shuttle as he debated something, finally coming to a conclusion.
Sucking in a breath, his hand slipped under my dress and pulled my panties off, throwing them into the wind. Oh.
It would seem I made the right choice with a dress. My body clenched in anticipation.
His lips were on me again, and I felt his free hand fumbling with his pants. The kisses were rough, our tongues battling for control, our teeth clashing together. My entire being was yearning for his touch, somehow hotter than the air around us.
"Kylo," I moaned as his mouth dropped to my breasts, pushing the fabric underneath them. He sucked hard, then peeked up at me. He stuck two fingers in my mouth and I sucked, locking eyes with him. As my tongue danced between and around them, his face contorted into a violent need that I knew mirrored my own.
When he went to pull out, I closed my mouth just enough for my teeth to grind against his skin. He growled in response, shoving the two fingers swiftly inside my clenching pussy. I relaxed against the side of the command shuttle, the metal feeling hot against my skin. But my bond was elsewhere, lost in his strong hands. I made noises, his fingers curling and pumping, sending me into a euphoric state.
"Tell me what you need, Rjea," he said around my tits.
I flashed it to him in images: my legs wrapped around him, his cock sliding inside me, right here, his fingers on my clit, his mouth on my neck. In the next instant his hand in my cunt disappeared. I moaned, desperate, and he chuckled.
"You get your wish, little one," he murmured in my ear, the tickling of his breath sending static down my spine, arching it reflexively.
I thought I'd needed him before—been desperate before. But the way he so clearly felt a similar need seemed enhanced my own. The knowledge was as seductive as his motions.
His cock poked at my entrance, swirling around a bit, soaking up the silky wetness. It didn't take long for me to crack.
"Fuck me, Kylo," I practically whimpered. I'd never wanted anything more, I thought I might actually crumble if he didn't slide inside me.
He let out a little half chuckle, half growl, igniting a fierce primal instinct inside me.
"Good girl," he growled.
He slammed into me; the pain came first. I cried out, then whimpered when the pleasure came next in the form of his fingers rubbing my clit. My noises seemed to fuel him. His hand on my clit did an unpredictable dance while his hips slammed into mine. I opened my legs wider, letting him in further, my sweaty shoulders sliding against the metal. His hand on my waist tightened to hold me while an invisible hand wrapped around my neck. I tried to suck in a breath as my orgasm also tried to build.
As he loosened his grip, my orgasm peaked, my body releasing itself to the euphoria.
And it was at that peak, the force still around my neck, I envisioned the exact moment Padmé's heart snapped. I was Padmé, a handsome, broken man standing before me, force choking me—but not Kylo. My own heart ached from Padmé's pain; slamming into my orgasm and pleasure. It was dreadful, I wanted it to end. Even closing my eyes brought me no relief to the vision.
I screamed and vaguely heard Kylo's pleasure filled groan. The moment my mind refocused on my surroundings, a horrible, deafening crack rang out, reverberating through the planet and vibrating up my body.
Kylo didn't bother putting me down, his mind working much faster than my own. Gripping me tighter with one hand, he zipped his pants with the other, and called his mask to him, moving toward the ramp the whole time. My mind was still fuzzy from the experience; I could still see Anakin in front of me, his hand raised. Rather than feeling real, it now felt more like an imprint. It's a good thing I'd been in Kylo's arms; I never would have moved at his speed in this state. I'm not sure I would have moved at all.
Kylo dropped me the moment he entered the cockpit, and was in the pilot's seat before I could blink. My brain was barely processing what was happening, but he'd moved so fast.
I blinked, at long last realizing the severity of the situation, and slid into the passenger seat, righting my dress and then slamming buttons alongside him.
The ship was in the air less than a minute after the platform we were on began to collapse. We hovered just as it fell away. Pain seared my mind as the planet beneath us began to crumble. I forgot about flying and stood up, staring at the planet below, finally comprehending what was happening.
Mustafar was breaking apart. It were as if it were screaming for me, crying out for mercy as Padmé had.
"Go Kylo," I whispered. I was frozen in pain and horror. It was like Starkiller, but amplified. He kept staring, watching the lava rivers overflow and split the ground apart.
"Go!" I yelled. Shaking himself, he yanked the yoke hard. We shot up fast, and I slammed to the ground, the impact finally enough to snap me out of it. Dragging myself to the copilots seat, I pulled myself into it, strapping in just as we left atmosphere.
"Fuck!" Kylo screamed as he tried to type in coordinates.
"No," I said, staring at the shrinking planet. "Wait," I didn't recognize my voice. We continued to rise, to distance ourselves, but he didn't enter hyperspace. His gaze turned to me, but I barely noticed.
The planet was screaming in agony. My eyes were filling with tears. He turned the shuttle so we could see it more clearly. We watched it crumbling away, and then, with no warning, implode.
I gripped the console, the agony of all life on Mustafar dying out at once consuming me. It felt like it was ripping me apart; I'd never felt anything to that degree. I thought my soul might split apart.
"Kylo," I choked, somehow trying to beg him to make it stop. Understanding, he pressed some switches and the planet slipped out of sight as he turned the ship around.
A moment later he jumped to hyperspace. I choked out a cry as the suffering of the planet faded almost instantly. I was still in pain, could still feel the sudden emptiness in the force, but my mind was beginning to clear. It was as if I was returning to my own body.
"Rjea," his voice rang out. I turned to look at him, shaking from shock.
"Come here," he said. I unstrapped myself and he pulled me to his lap. Burying my face in his neck, I tried to choke back the tears.
"Kylo, we just destroyed Mustafar," I whispered after a while.
"You said it was dying already," he said, his voice a forced calm. His hands wrapped into my hair, holding me tighter as I shook harder.
I've never seen her so vulnerable.
I hate it. It is my fault.
"It had at least another decade. Kylo, he's going to know." He tensed underneath me, his hands tightening against my head and my waist. If I could feel the loss, then so would Snoke.
"What do you suggest?" His body heat and calm voice was helping tremendously.
I pulled back, meeting his eyes. "We don't really have a choice." Removing his hand from my hair, I put it on my necklace.
"We have to kill him Kylo." His eyes flashed something, fear, or anxiety, perhaps.
"We can't," he said, his face neutral again.
"I will not be a slave to him. I will run before I will submit."
She cannot leave
He chewed on his cheek as he watched me. Finally, he seemed to come to a conclusion.
"We need to go on, act like nothing happened. If the time comes, then it comes."
I nodded, accepting the answer for now, then took a deep breathe.
A choked laugh escaped my throat. It sounded delusional to my own ears. The corner of his lip twitched. I shoved the laughter that threatened to bubble over back down, and squeezed my lips together. I would not laugh, this was a tragedy.
"Rjea. We destroyed Mustafar." I heard his own conflicting emotions, practically mirroring my own.
I coughed and looked down, trying to not lose it. It wasn't funny, it wasn't funny. When I heard him grumble and looked up to see his chest moving, that was it. I laughed until tears were streaming down my face. He laughed, his mouth open, his teeth showing. It was beautiful. It was free. And it was definitely not very light side of us to be laughing.
We destroyed a planet. But something new would take its place. And it wouldn't have cracked if it hadn't been put through everything it had in the last 40 years. That doesn't excuse it...and guilt would eat me alive once the shock wore off. But at the moment, I was fine with losing myself in the hysterical moment.
-----
We landed on Starkiller base, the Knights already waiting.
"Do they know?"
"I have no idea," Kylo answered. Something had shifted between us—perhaps because of the massive weight of what had just happened on our combined shoulders, like we were in it together. But he had dropped his walls, opening up to me. He shut off the ship with a few movements at the controls, then I followed him down the ramp. I picked up my bag, but he took it from me, throwing it to Ap.
I looked at the Knights, nervous.
"Everything okay, Mistress?"
I sighed. They didn't know. I glanced at Kylo, and realized with a start that he was still unmasked. The hanger aboard Starkiller was never asleep—people were floating about all around them.
"Uh, yeah. Just tired."
I felt the Knights suspicion, but I just followed Kylo out, my eyes on the ground in front of me. The Knights stayed close, obviously uneasy with my mood. I distracted myself by listening to their theories. They weren't even close to the truth, but they did have some pretty wild ideas. My favorite was Trudgen's, who believed I'd finally submitted myself to Kylo.
When I finally followed him into his massive chambers, I collapsed in the first sitting surface I saw. The Knights had all followed us in, clearly wanting more from us.
"Fuck!" I yelled, exhausted and overwhelmed.
Kylo went to the kitchen and began chugging water.
"Alright... so..." Vicrul said. I looked at him for a moment, before shrugging.
"We blew up Mustafar," I said, unwilling to drag it out. Kylo spit his water out, which was not good for my psyche. It was hilarious, and the look on Vicrul's face in reaction to Kylo was priceless. It was like he was seeing a ghost.
Before I could control it, I was once again laughing. Kylo turned his back to us and I saw his shoulders rising and falling in his own laughs.
The Knights exchanged glances.
Is she fucking serious?
Is Kylo laughing?
They didn't destroy a planet
How?
Why?
She's losing it
Finally I wiped my tears and put my head in between my legs.
"Gods," I murmured. I jumped when Kylo pressed the cold bottle to my neck. He handed it to me, but I just looked at it, trying to pull myself together.
"Vicrul, yes, I'm serious. Cardo, no that wasn't fucking Kylo laughing, that's preposterous. Ushar, we did destroy a planet. Ap, honestly, I really don't know if I should tell you how. Trudgen, it was an accident. Kuruk, yes. Yes I am losing it."
They blinked.
"No, Rjea. Admit to your crimes," Kylo said. I saw humor hiding under his dark expression. Were we in shock, or we were just insane?
"My crimes! I didn't fuck myself!" I said, then chuckled, returning my head to my hands. Probably insane.
"Okay," said Ushar. "Alright, no, I don't," he sighed, unable to form a sentence.
"You've felt her little energy bombs, right?" Kylo asked with mild humor.
"Er, you mean the big one on Onderon, or the little small ones?"
"The little ones," I said. "The one on Onderon was on purpose."
"They're from orgasms," Kylo said, plopping down on the opposite couch. I choked a little.
"You blew up Mustafar...from an orgasm." I wasn't looking to see who'd spoken.
I smiled, feeling rather crazed. "Sort of. Honestly, it's Kylo's fault for choking me."
"What?" Kylo asked, sitting up.
"That's what broke your grandmother's heart. Anakin choked her. When you did it, I don't know why, but I saw it. I heard her plea, and I felt her heart break. It blended with my, er, ecstasy. It was physically painful, her pain. It was awful." My stomach churned at the memory of Anakin's face.
Everyone was quiet.
"Why did he choke her?" Kylo finally asked. He felt extremely bad for choking me, and not because of Mustafar, but because of the resulting experience I'd had.
"He thought she'd betrayed him."
"Did she?" Kuruk asked. I shook my head.
"No. He was blind with rage. He was manipulated by Palpatine. She would have died for him." I shrugged, sad. "She did."
Silence once again washed over us. I curled onto the arm of the couch and closed my eyes. Nobody spoke for a long time. After a while, they started talking again, but I was somewhere in limbo, between sleep and consciousness.
"What does this mean?"
Kylo sighed. "Nothing for now. Business as usual."
Silence. "He'll learn about her, master," Vicrul said quietly. I felt eyes on me, but couldn't find the motivation to give him the sarcastic response I wanted to.
"I know." I felt the discomfort of the Knights and Kylo.
"Whatever you decide, we're in it."
I heard Kylo's relief in his thoughts. But he didn't speak.
"Is she okay?" Kuruk.
"I don't know," Kylo answered. "I think she's fine. The destruction hurt her."
"What do you mean?"
"She was in agony as it died. I could feel her pain. I half expected it to kill her; it was like she was feeling the planet's destruction."
"So her weakness is exploding planets?" Kuruk asked, trying to joke.
"I think it's other being's pain." The thought made Kylo sad. He never wanted to see me like that again, and for once, it wasn't for his own selfish reasons.
"That's not fucking good."
"Why?" someone else asked.
"Say she's fighting on a battleground. The people will be hurting. She'll feel it."
"All someone would have to do to get to her would be to hurt someone she loves."
You idiots.
"Fuck!"
"Gods."
I remained laying there, my eyes closed. "Are, are you awake?" Vicrul asked slowly, cautiously.
"No, I spoke to you from the afterlife." I sighed and sat up.
"Listen. When you leave this room, you need to keep your thoughts under control." I rubbed my face. "I have a friend that can help me make some Force dispersers. But until then, for the love of god, keep it cool. You guys are the Knights of fucking Ren for gods sake. I'm not going anywhere right now." I finally looked up at the men. They were right, of course. My biggest weakness can be empathy. But that doesn't mean it is.
"Nothing would be more suspicious than the seven of you fawning over a girl, who can take care of herself, by the way."
"She's right. Go back to your quarters. But I want two of you with us at all times."
"Thank you, guys."
They stood up as one and bowed their heads. They put their helmets on and were gone. I looked over at Kylo, exhausted on the other couch. He looked at me, his mind going a million miles an hour.
"Would you like me to leave?" I asked, a smile dancing on my lips. Somehow, I knew he wouldn't ever make me leave again.
He opened his arms and lifted me up with the force. I chuckled as he released me on top of him, his arms wrapping around me.
"You never cease to amaze me."
"What did I do this time?"
"The way you put them into their place."
"It was for their own good." His hands trailed into my hair, and I leaned into it, enjoying the silence.
"Rjea?" he said after a long time.
"Hmm?"
"You saved them, didn't you?"
"Who?"
"The other students." I stiffened.
I hesitated, unwilling to upset him. "Yes," I finally murmured. No point in lying.
"You knew what was happening to me?"
"Sort of. I felt your pain, your conflict. I didn't know how to help. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you," I said quietly. "But I'm here now."
He squeezed me tighter. "What did you do after?"
"I found my mom's old squad member. The one I mentioned earlier. And I hid from you."
"Why?"
"You would have killed me."
"Then why did you reveal yourself?" This was the most I'd heard his voice, and I would do anything to keep him talking.
I smiled against his neck. "I don't know. I felt you the moment you walked in. Then you thought about leaving. I didn't want to watch you walk away again."
Minutes ticked by, and I relaxed into his hold, drifting in and out.
"The Knights love you." I smiled against his neck. "You love them."
"Mmm," I mumbled.
"How are you going to tell your parents you destroyed a planet?"
I chuckled darkly. "You know, that might be one thing I don't tell them." He laughed underneath me.
"No, no. I think you should call the fleet admiral tomorrow."
"You can call him. 'Hello, this is Vader's grandson, I'm kinda with your daughter. Also. We destroyed Mustafar. We didn't mean to, just, you know how it is man, good sex, am I right?"
He laughed underneath me, pleasing me to no end.
The next thing I knew, he was carrying me to his bed, half asleep. I curled around a pillow, not really expecting him to join me, at least not at the moment. But just as I was about to drift off, he climbed in and draped a lazy arm around me. I was asleep within minutes.
-----
"Kylo," I whispered only a few hours after we went to bed.
"Hm?"
"I have a plan." Kylo's teasing about calling my father had possibly influenced me, but somehow, I knew I had to get my mom's old squad to the Ascendancy.
"Hmm."
I sat up. Fuck. My long range transmitter is on the Finalizer.
After thinking for a moment, I walked to the sitting room and dug in my bag until I found my datapad.
To Darro, Finon, and Kandria: need to meet
Kandria made a secure line and sent me the code, the damn angel. Why they were so quick to respond in the middle of the night, I didn't know.
K: Are you okay?
Yes. May have made big mistake, but yes. When and where?
D: My place
F: Tonight?
Okay. K, I need dispensers. Send me a list of supplies for 7 of them.
K: You're in a band of Jedi? I'm getting flashbacks
D: No she just has knights
F: Of Ren?
K: Of Ren?
K: I freaking told your mother we needed a cool name.
K: Wait
K: Fuck. She added my given name.
D: It's Rjea now.
F: I'm going to go get Kell.
When they finally stopped bantering—and I got over my guilt for not updating Kandria on my life sooner—I began trying to draw up a blueprint for a new long range transmitter, as well as a way to better way of making those clunky dispensers more person friendly. Mostly, I was just keeping myself busy, unwilling to think about Mustafar or the Supreme Leader.
Twelve hours later, I was speeding off Starkiller with the Knights of Ren.
"Okay, now will you tell us what's going on?" Kylo asked, his voice laced with frustration.
"We're meeting my mother's old squad."
"Why?" He was curious.
"I need them to tell Papa what happened."
"Why?"
I looked at him, frustrated. "Because if I die, he'll destroy the Supreme Leader." That wasn't my reasoning, I didn't know my reasoning. But it was good enough. Papa would definitely seek revenge, I had no doubt. Though he was one of the most calm and composed people I knew, he was my first protector, and he took the job seriously.
"How?" Kuruk said after a long pause.
"I assure you, the First Order looks like a bug under a boot compared to Papa's navy." This wasn't fully true—I've seen the reports on First Order resources. But they didn't have Thrawn. My papa was worth all of Snoke's commanders.
Nobody spoke again. I landed the ship and ran down the ramp exactly like last time. There was a new person there that I'd only seen in Mama's memories, and Finon, who I've met once.
"No fucking way. No fucking way!" Kellchri said, his excitement both audible and visible. I laughed as I hugged the tall, skinny man.
"Gods, you look exactly like them. It's spooky."
"Hi Kellchri," I said, still laughing.
I followed them inside and we all found a chair—even Kylo sat down, his ankle over his knee, across the room from me. The Knights kept their masks on, probably due to so many strangers.
"What did you do?" Kandria asked.
"The specifics aren't important, but I may have caught the Supreme Leader's attention."
"You're going to have to do better than that," Kellchri said, his tone both serious and concerned.
I glanced at Kylo, then motioned for him to tell the story. He shook his masked head slowly, deliberately. I gave him a pouty face. He shook his head again.
"She blew up Mustafar." I looked at Vicrul, about to be angry. Then I shrugged. Beats me having to say it again.
Mama's team looked at me for a long time, each of them feeling different things. Then, Darro shrugged.
"Your mother blew up the Death Star with hundreds of thousands of people on board." My jaw dropped open. That was dark. Even Kylo seemed to twitch, probably thrown off guard by the casual acceptance.
"Yeah. Mustafar was going to die on its own soon anyway, the inhabitants left years ago." Kandria said.
"You guys aren't mad?" These people were as crazy as Kylo and I, apparently. I'd expected them to react as my parents would—appalled.
"Rjea, the four of us followed your mother without questioning her. We'll do the same for you, if you require it." Darro said. I felt the Knights' approval and had to swallow my own emotions.
"I just need someone to go to the Ascendancy."
"I'll do it," all four of them said. I smiled.
"I don't think the four of you need to do it."
"Why not?" asked Kandria.
"I want to see Lilya," Kellchri said, offended.
"It isn't a day trip. And it's dangerous." Did they not understand what I was asking?
"We all will go," Darro said with finality.
"Okay, hold on, back up please. What if I'm evil?" I asked. Surely this mattered to them. They had all risked their lives to fight against evil, once.
Kandria snorted, then laughed. Even the Knights chuckled.
"First of all, it's really not funny," I heard myself slip into my accent at the frustration.
"Second of all," Kylo's mechanical voice rang out. He pulled off his mask. "You forget that most of us have felt your very soul coursing through us."
"Oh wow, Rjea. He is cute."
"Kan! He's not cute. He's scary." My mind was having difficulty keeping up with all the voices, thoughts, and emotions.
Kylo's lip twitched.
"Are the rest of you that handsome?" Kandria asked. I grinned. They were, I thought, in a fierce deadly sort of way—though, it wasn't the same, for me at least.
They removed their helmets and I introduced them.
"What are you hoping for Thrawn to do?" Finon finally spoke. The practical one.
I sighed. "I don't know. I just think he needs to know."
"Are you expecting him to come help you?"
I shrugged. "No. He's the Fleet Admiral, and the fleet doesn't attack unless attacked first. I just have a feeling."
"What do you mean it doesn't attack first? What kind of fleet doesn't attack?" Kellchri asked.
"It's a big deal, actually. No preemptive attacks." Finon looked thoughtful.
"Lilya had told the Ghost crew that the Chiss are warriors, but that they don't conquer."
I shrugged. "We have no need to conquer. The Ascendancy is massive." And our secrets run deep. No need to spread them throughout the galaxy.
"Why don't you just come back with us?" Kandria asked. I felt the panic behind my eyes at the suggestion. It was unexpected.
"Ah yes, never mind," she said, understanding. I looked down, still surprised by the question.
"Mama left Papa," I whispered. She left him twice. But the thought of leaving Kylo made me ill.
"She left Thrawn to do her duty. Not for her own safety." I nodded, looking at my feet. The words made me feel better, but another doubt replaced it.
"I don't know my duty."
"I'm fairly sure it's to defeat the Supreme Leader," said Kylo, almost sounding bored.
"And then what?" I scoffed.
"You would rule by my side."
I laughed, the joke was a good one. But everyone just looked at me. My face scrunched together, realizing no one else laughed.
"I don't think we have the same views, Commander."
"Like what?" Was he serious? We've spent months arguing this. There was no way they would ever see eye to eye.
"Like the fact that you can slaughter a village." The Knights rustled, sensing the pending argument. But, Kylo's voice did not raise.
"That means I can take care of it, if the time comes."
"And you think I'd just let it happen?"
He shrugged. "You don't need to know about those parts of the job." I snorted.
"That's not how I would rule, Kylo." Wait, I wouldn't rule at all—would I?
"So you would just have another Republic?" He wasn't challenging me, he was having an actual conversation, and it was throwing me off.
"What the fuck is so wrong with the Republic?" I asked.
"They can't get anything done! There's too many voices. Too much bureaucracy."
"One person controlling everything isn't sustainable." I could feel everyone listening intently, but I ignored them. I was surprised Kylo wasn't yelling yet.
"The Emperor did it for 19 years."
"Look into my mind. Let me show you something." He hesitated, but did so. I showed him my mother's memories of helping devastated worlds around the Empire.
"I don't understand how you have those memories," he said after he pulled out, his voice still the same. It hadn't even effected the jerk.
"They're my mother's. The first seven or so years of the Empire. How is that even a good business practice? People dying and starving? For what, so they could build the Death Star?"
"Leading isn't a business."
I was growing frustrated. "Okay, well. I've proved my point. We can't rule together."
"Why not? You take care of the people, I take care of the rest."
"How can I take care of the people if you're slaughtering them?" Everybody seemed to shift, uncomfortable, except Kylo.
"Maybe I won't need to." He sounded bored, as if we weren't debating trillions on people's lives.
"Do you even understand how many worlds you're talking about?"
"Then delegate them."
"To senators?" I asked sarcastically.
"Sure."
"Oh my gods. Oh my gods." I covered my face in frustration. I heard him chuckle, and snapped my face up.
"It's not funny, Kylo."
"Says the girl who laughs every five seconds." Oh. Fucking rude.
"Says the girl who has the power to kick your fucking ass," I said, standing up. The Knights rustled, one even stood up. Ushar. As if he could stop either of us. Kylo just sat there, his ankle still crossed over his knee. Darro was seriously hoping we didn't destroy his home. Kellchri, the menace, was hoping for a fight. Kandria couldn't wait to tell Mama.
"Maybe. We can find out another time."
My eyes narrowed. I was done playing his game.
"What are you trying to say, Kylo?"
"Rule with me."
"No," I said.
"Then go back home," he said harshly. I drew back, shocked, and hurt. He would send me away?
"I won't rule without you. And if I'm not ruling, there's no reason to defeat my master."
"I don't understand," I said sadly, my anger and frustrations washing away. There were plenty of reasons to destroy Snoke that had nothing to do with me.
"I believe you'll be a wonderful leader."
"And?" I was so confused.
"And I'm willing to let you rule in practice. To command me. Though I'd prefer it if the public didn't see it that way. And I'd still have a say, of course."
I just stared at him. There's no way this man would give up his power to me. I closed my eyes and felt the room around me. The Knights didn't understand why I would even say no. Mother's team was also a bit perplexed, shocked by the intensity and gravity of our conversation, debating the future of the galaxy inside Darro's humble living room. Darro knew Mama had given up her crown, and was less surprised to see me denying one of my own. He seemed to be the only one in the room who didn't have an opinion.
Kylo was...serious. He was willing to compromise in order to get me on the throne with him. But he wasn't willing to keep me here otherwise. He was thinking about Papa's fleet, and how it would protect me, if Snoke came looking. I would be safe in the Chaos, in his mind.
Everyone was letting me think. I wished I could talk to my Papa. I turned to Mama's team, my eyes pleading.
"What would my father tell me right now?"
Darro spoke without needing to think. "He would tell you to do it."
"How do you know?"
"You have the opportunity to protect your galaxy. Thrawn would take it. He had one duty, to protect the Ascendancy. The only other thing he cared about was your mother. And he found a way to protect both." His eyes flicked to Kylo for a brief moment. "He would tell you to do the same."
I thought for another moment. Darro was right. Father did not wish to lead an Imperial fleet, but he did.
I met Kylo's eyes.
I gave him an imperceptible nod. His eyes flashed and he was on his feet, yanking me to him with the force. His hands wrapped in my hair and he kissed me hard. I melted into him, forgetting the observers, or why we were even embracing.
When he finally pulled back, I swayed.
"Now what?" he asked.
"Well. I actually have a plan," I said for the second time that day.