"Wake up," his mechanical voice entered my dreams.
"Mmm," I murmured before rolling over. "No." My body hurt, and I didn't know what time it was, but it was too early.
She's never told me no before
The blanket was pulled off me, the crisp air attacking my still naked body. I grumbled and curled into the fetal position. The next thing I knew, I was in the air.
"Kylo!"
That's a lot of bruises
"You told the Knights you had work to do today." I looked at him.
"Fine. Could you put me down?" He dropped me completely, and I landed with an oof sound.
"Aren't you lovely in the morning."
"Watch your tongue," he snapped.
Finally, I crawled out of bed with a huge yawn. I took a step, and immediately the memories from the night before came rushing back. I let out a small yelp and froze. He chuckled darkly, and my eyes snapped to him.
He sighed, only slightly audible under his mask. "There's a bath in my refresher. Take one. Then report to the command shuttle in an hour."
"Commander, I really do have work to do today." I'd wasted the entire day yesterday.
"Delegate it." I reached up and ran my fingers through my hair.
"Fine, but I need an extra 30 minutes to send the orders."
"You have one hour," he said, then spun, his cloak flailing behind him. I sighed, looking at the large comfy bed longingly.
The bath was incredible. I found pain reliever in his bathroom and swallowed it down. Afterward, I rushed through the ship to my room, tapping away at my datapad.
Until I crashed into someone. I caught myself, and fumbled for way too long, finally catching the datapad right before it hit the ground.
"Do you not have eyes, Captain?"
I looked up, trying not to feel annoyed. The man's red hair was perfectly neat, his uniform crisp. The General. I hadn't realized he was aboard. I was grateful I'd put my uniform back on—but a heads up would have been nice.
"I apologize, sir. I shouldn't be so absorbed in my work when I'm walking."
He eyed me for a moment. I felt his hatred for me. I met his eyes, and could sense his sudden discomfort.
"You're my new captain," he finally said.
"Yes, General."
"Well. You've done well so far. I expect you to keep it that way."
"Thank you sir. If you need anything from me, please don't hesitate to ask. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."
He was uncomfortable still, but I felt he was actually pleased with my progress. Enough so that he didn't continue berating me, though I felt his temptation to do so. He nodded his head for me to move along, and I bowed my head before I kept going.
That was weird. It's probably my skin and eyes that caused his hatred. And maybe upon realizing how useful I've been, the hatred just turned to discomfort. I wasn't really sure, but I didn't want to piss him off. He clearly has a temper, I could feel it bubbling underneath.
I changed my clothes and entered the command hanger exactly one hour after my conversation with Kylo. I walked over to Lieutenant Jack and cleared my throat. He turned around and gave me a small smile.
"Good morning, Captain."
"Good morning. Sleep well?"
He smiled. "Never, ma'am." I chuckled.
"Well, I think the Commander has a flight scheduled this morning." I tapped my datapad. "I just sent you what I was planning on doing today. The most important ones are first. Don't stress about getting to all of them, I tend to overbook myself. Take care of your duties and then see what you can accomplish."
"Yes, Captain."
I thanked him and walked to the command shuttle. I ran the preflight checks on the outside and was about to board.
Ah, there she is. Vicrul.
All she does is work. Ushar.
I wish I'd eaten more for breakfast. Cardo
I shook my head and turned to the men, my hand on my hips. The six Knights were clambering through the hanger, turning heads. Honestly, they were terrifying. They had a dark aura that just followed them around. Fortunately, I wasn't afraid of the dark.
"Hey boss," Ushar called when they were within range.
"I have a confession, guys. Er, since Kylo knows now." I paused, unsure how to say it.
"You can hear our thoughts," Cardo said.
I felt relief from not having to say it.
"Sorry boys. I'm trying to block it out, but when I'm not expecting it, it's difficult. Cardo, I'm sure there's food on the shuttle." He laughed, to my great pleasure.
Trudgen answered me, however. "Master Ren has already shared that with us. I hope we haven't offended you."
I smiled. "I have tough skin. I'm just pleased you guys don't hate me."
"You're unhateable." Vicrul said, causing me to laugh. I wasn't so sure about that.
"I don't know, I ran into the General today. He seems... well, let's just say I literally ran into him. Right into his chest." I made a wave motion with my hand.
"And he screamed at you, his face growing red?" Cardo said.
"No, but he wanted to. I think he was satisfied that I was working while I walked."
"Ah yes, that would please him."
"But I could feel his hate the moment he looked at my eyes."
"You're the only alien in the First Order," Kuruk said. I wished I could see his face.
I nodded. "That's what I figured."
Kylo's voice came from my left. "As long as you continue doing your job, he won't bother you." I turned to him.
"That's my goal." I cocked my head at the ship.
"All aboard." Nobody moved. I glared.
"You first ma'am." I clenched my jaw and sighed. Seven men following me up a ramp were bound to notice my slightly irregular walk. Turning on my heels, I walked delicately up the ramp. Trudgen chuckled.
When they were on the ship, I slammed the ramp shut with the force, then wrapped it around Trudgen, freezing him in place.
My calm voice seemed to wrap between them in the cabin. "You can laugh all you want, but not in public. I will not have my men out there witnessing it. I'm a woman, and an alien, and I work hard for their respect. Do you understand?" He nodded, so I let him go. I made a show of straightening his tabard.
"Thank you," I said. Then I turned and left the seven men there with their erotic thoughts.
I finished the startup sequence and heard footsteps behind me. All of the Knights entered, taking their seats.
"Where to, Commander?" I asked, trying to read the nav display.
"Onderan." Nice. It took a few moments to get the calculations. I tapped the comm to the command center.
"Command Shuttle to Command. Am I cleared for take-off?"
"We just left hyperspace captain. Give us five to finish our scans."
"Understood." Then I looked at Kylo. "Why were we in hyperspace?"
"The Finalizer is returning to Starkiller base for a week." I made an 'oh' face and settled in. Five minutes later I was cleared for takeoff, and shot out of the hanger, a smile on my face. This ship was truly a dream.
"Everyone is strapped in? Don't want any broken noses. I'd hate to have to clean up the shuttle."
Affirmations rolled out and I shot into hyperspace. Three hours later, the planet came into view. Vicrul stood up and typed in some coordinates.
"Thanks Vicrul. Hey, can I call you Vic?"
"No," he said, taking his seat. I spun my chair to the others.
"Ap?" I asked. He nodded, and I smiled, pleased. "Ruk?" He nodded. "Car?" He shook his head. "Trudge?" His chest rumbled in a small chuckle.
"Whatever you wish, miss Ren." I gave him a look my mother used to give me when she was over me.
I rolled my eyes and glanced at Ushar. "I like Ushar. Ush sounds weird." I spun my chair again, flying us to the coordinates. I wished the damn men talked more. I felt their amusement, but they all remained quiet. Kylo was unusually quite in his mind, too.
I landed the shuttle in front of a huge farm. I shut it down and practically ran off the ship, finally understanding what we were doing here.
A man was standing on the porch. I pressed my muscles, running as fast as I could. As I approached, I felt the man's confusion. Slowly it turned to shock. He walked down the steps, stopping at the bottom. I slammed to a stop in front of him, my eyes wild. I felt recognition rush into him, his emotions running wild.
I grinned. "Hello, Darro."
He took a step forward. He was much older than Mama's memories. He looked directly down at me.
"You are Lilya's daughter?" I grinned, pleased.
I couldn't help it, I wrapped him in a tight hug, squeezing him. His chest rumbled in a choked laugh. He was delighted. I felt him, he was a good man, a good soul.
"I told Papa you were alive. I couldn't get ahold of Mama." His face fell. His hand reached out and rubbed my face lightly, regret smothering him.
"I didn't know how to contact her."
I smiled. "I'm just happy you're alive, sir, and she will be too." His eyes flipped upward at the seven Knights still standing by the shuttle. I felt his conflict, his confusion. I let him try to process it for a moment. Clearly, he hadn't known we were coming.
"What is your name?" he asked when he returned his gaze to me.
"Rjea," I said without hesitation. His eyes focused on me, looking at me a little harder.
"So your parents are still alive?"
"Yes sir. Mama is an Ambassador. And her name is Thilya now." He cocked his head at me.
"Thrawn and Thilya?" I smiled.
"Mitth'raw'nuruodo and Mitth'ilya'nuru."
He glanced back up at the Knights.
"You're with my son?" He was relieved he was alive, though there was something else I didn't understand, almost like irony.
"Yes. I'm a Captain in the First Order." He focused on me again.
"Are you..." Am I following in my mother's footsteps?
I laughed. "No. Just a pilot, sir." He nodded.
"Well. Come on in," he said, turning toward the house.
What are you guys waiting on? The men all began walking, even Kylo. I smirked, and followed Darro.
His living room was big, but looked small with all the clad men. The six Knights took off their masks and sat down in random chairs and couches. Kylo stood, leaning on the doorway, not removing his mask. Darro brought us drinks.
"Okay. Tell me about what it was like growing up with your parents." A smile played on his lips. He genuinely wanted to picture them as parents.
"Hmmm," I said, leaning back. "They were great parents, I think. Papa returned to the Expansionary Defense Fleet. Mama stayed at home until I was about ten, then she became an Ambassador." He chuckled.
"She always was good with people."
"What are you talking about? She's terrifying." He laughed a full laugh this time. I smiled.
"Wait, how did she get pregnant?"
"Well, when a man and a woman love each other..." I laughed at his expression, leaning back. "No, I'm kidding. Mom's false stomach, right. I had a surrogate. I love her, but she regretted it while she was pregnant. I fucked her emotions up so bad, they knew I'd be force sensitive before I was even born."
He raised his eyebrows, understanding washing over him. "Ah, that's why you're with the Knights of Ren."
I looked around the room in mock confusion. "No sir," I said with a grin. "They just like me." Vicrul chuckled, and I felt Kylo's amusement.
Darro glanced down at my saber. I smiled and pulled it off my hip, handing it to him. I knew this man could handle any weapon, and I knew he would return it to me. It didn't even cross my mind not to hand it to him, despite my deep connection with it.
"Careful, sir. It isn't a toy." His eyes flashed something, and I felt his affection for me. I reminded him of Mama.
He turned on both blades, holding it parallel with the ground. His face furrowed in confusion, and he shook his head, turning them off.
"I don't know why I'm even surprised," he said dryly. "Your parents never stopped surprising me. Please, keep going."
I returned my saber to my belt.
"Mama did my general lessons and Papa taught me to fly in the summers. I spent a lot of time on his battleships, or on Auntie Ar'alani's—my surrogate. Mama and Papa are still crazy for each other, if you had any doubt." I let out a small chuckle. He was enjoying every moment of my story, trying to picture it.
"They knew I was force sensitive and tried to help me manage my abilities. But when I was eleven there was... an incident. They began trying to teach me about the force in earnest, but it was mostly books and emotional regulation. When I was like 16, I told Mother that I believe the books were wrong. The light side cannot exist without the dark." I shrugged. "It disturbed her. Her thoughts went to Vader and the Emperor.
"After that, we discussed sending me to lesser space. There aren't Jedi types in the Ascendancy. I went willingly, hoping to learn to control some of my, er, more challenging abilities. I spent time learning under Luke Skywalker. Then I went searching for Kandria, then kinda wandered a bit, learning about the galaxy and the force. Then I went through the Academy, and joined the Finalizer. Which led me to you, sir." I grinned at him. "No regrets so far."
He was quiet for a moment, digesting the information.
"What kind of incident?" Vicrul asked. I turned my head to look at him. I didn't really love retelling this story. Though I'd done something incredible, it had been horrible. The blood, the fear, the agony.
"A girl fell into a hunting trap, a pit with spikes. Nobody was around but me. I pulled her out with the force and healed her. It almost killed me. If Mama hadn't of heard my pleas for her, and rushed me to the Vigilant, Father's nightdragon man-of-war, I'm sure I would have died."
Darro looked pained. He was thinking. He was anxious. I washed peace through him. His head jerked up.
"What was that?" Ah, he must have some force sensitivity.
"I told you, I drove Ar'alani crazy with my emotions." I smiled devilishly. He continued to stare for a long time, before shaking his head and relaxing into his seat.
"I assumed Lilya wouldn't have kids after being crushed on Abafar. Not to mention, I wasn't sure either if your parents would survive that long. Or be the type to settle down. But, it is not surprising they would create something as talented as you. Meeting you has been a true gift, Rjea."
He glanced at his son. "I assume my son is treating you well?"
I chuckled. "We had to have a small power struggle at first, but our Commander stopped it before we could determine who the alpha is." The Knights chuckled and I smiled, pleased.
"It is you, my lady," Vicrul said. Darro and I both laughed. A confusing emotion was coming from Kylo, but I was too distracted to try to understand it.
"I probably could have kicked your mother's ass. That didn't make her any less of an alpha."
I gasped in mock offense. "My mother would challenge that. And I would challenge Vicrul." He laughed a loud, hearty laugh.
"I have no doubt." He took a look at the men, stopping on Kylo. I felt understanding wash over him, and my eyes went wide. How did he know? His eyes turned back to me, his head shaking lightly, a small smile trying to break free.
"You're so much like your mother."
"Because we like men in power?" I laughed, holding my stomach. I knew he commented that because of Kylo. He shook his head, embarrassed by my bluntness. Kylo was... also embarrassed?
"Don't worry sir. He doesn't even like me." I chuckled. "I'm so glad I got to meet you Darro. I will send my mother your love."
"Please do. And your father." I stood up, pulling him into a hug. I buried my head into his neck. I suddenly had a memory—my mother's memory—of them sparring.
"Hey. If I promise not to use the force, do you want to spar before we leave? Mother told me how much you guys trained." His eyes lit up.
"Dear, I think you'll have to use the force. Your mother trained me well."
I laughed gleefully and skipped out of the house. "And you think she would neglect to train her daughter?" I called over my shoulder.
The Knights followed me, and I observed their weapons.
"Trudgen. May I borrow your vibrocleaver?"
He laughed. "Are you sure you can handle it?"
"No, but if one never tries something new, how can they improve?"
"Kriff, you are your mother. Vicrul, give me your scythe." I grinned.
We stood in front of each other. I swung the massive blade, testing it out. It was heavy. I spent some time playing with it, getting used to the weight. I saw Darro doing the same. A strange, electric energy was filling the space between us.
"Are you sure you can handle this, old man?"
His eyes flashed to mine, and we grinned at each other.
I charged, the massive blade heading for his neck. He blocked almost effortlessly, locking his scythe and pushing me away. The force of his return blow spun me in a circle. I chuckled. Damn this thing was heavy.
I backed up, regaining my footing. This time he launched first, and I shoved his weapon away. It was difficult with these massive blades, I was focusing way too much on my weapon, and not enough on Darro.
He charged again and I flipped backward, using the weight of the weapon to pull me back faster.
"Your mother worked hard to be able to do a back flip."
I ignored his attempted distraction and spun quickly, trying to take out his ankles, but he jumped up.
The force was flowing through my veins now, and my vision and focus purely on Darro. I dropped my weapon and yanked his out of his hand with the force, throwing it to the ground.
I threw a punch, and he blocked it with his wrists, not even surprised by my switch. He tried to uppercut me, but I slammed my forearm to his fist, shoving it down painfully. In a swift burst of energy, my head flew forward, head butting him. He stumbled back and I gripped under his arms, flipping him. He didn't land how I thought he would, and instead yanked me to the grass, his own feet already back under him.
Wow. He can move for an old man.
My hands hit the dirt first and I flipped, blocking and ducking his offensive blows. I saw them coming each time, studying his body movements, and finally, I saw my opening. My fist made contact with his jaw. He stumbled back, then spit blood, and launched again. He was thoroughly enjoying this.
I tried to jump back but somehow, my body flew forward, the metal on my clothing yanking me to him. His leg came up, his knee slamming into my gut. I felt the concern of the Knights, but the pain fueled me, so I sent calm through them, then smiled. So, his nanobots still worked.
Fuck not using the force. I filled Darro with powerful conflicting emotions, love and rage. Stumbling back a step, he let go of me, confused and captivated. I gripped his neck and flipped him onto his back.
"Sorry sir, I-" his hand gripped my ankles and I stumbled down, rolling away.
Something in me was satisfied he wished to continue. He was testing me, and who am I to disappoint? The moment I rolled onto my back I kicked up, making solid contact with his torso. The air left his chest with an audible huff as I returned to my feet. When he immediately regained himself, I chuckled and pulled the scythe to me. He grinned in a challenging way, but his eyes shown. He was in his element, and though he was rusty, he was clearly my equal, if not my better.
Respect filled my chest, and I had to mentally force the emotion down as to not get distracted. He pulled the vibrocleaver to him, as I'd hoped. The metal clashed, remaining locked in a battle of strength.
I met his eyes, my smirk slowly cracking into a full smile.
Then I dropped the scythe, laughing, and bent over, my hands on my knees, exhausted. He chuckled and dropped the weapon, also breathing heavily.
"Are you alright, Mistress?" Vicrul asked, approaching me.
"Mistress? Will the nicknames ever end?" I said, still panting. That seemed to be enough of an answer, because he paused a meter or so from me.
"Okay," I said, straightening and turning to face Darro and all the Knights. We'd moved closer to the command shuttle during our fight. Darro and Vicrul were closest to me, each to the side a bit, and the Knights spanned out in front of me, the shuttle further behind them. "How'd I do? On a scale of 1 to 10?"
Vicrul answered. "You're both a five." I cracked up laughing, and felt Darro's humor toward his son. I expected a little better than that, and so had Darro.
"Have you become skilled with the saber yet?" Darro asked.
I shook my head, a little disheartened. "I haven't even tried yet." Trying it on Darro would have been ridiculous, and dangerous.
He looked surprised. "Why not? Your mother would be disappointed," he said sarcastically, that twinkle back in his eye.
"How would I train? The only way I can imagine-" I stopped when I felt Kylo's energy shift, and alarms went off in my head. In almost slow motion, my instincts completely took over, all thoughts removed from my mind.
A blaster rifle flew from Kuruk's side. Both of my hands were on my lightsaber hilt the moment his fingers wrapped around the weapon. I sucked in a breath when my blades lit up, the energy around me quite literally breathtaking.
The world closed around me.
I no longer felt the other men, only Kylo and his trigger finger.
My breathing slowed, my connection to the force suddenly deeper and more meaningful than ever before. I knew that a mistake could mean death. Though I didn't know it at the time, the memory of this moment would forever remind me of the power of the force, fueling my conviction.
I blocked the first bolt effortlessly. Then another, sending them off into the distance. Gradually I became aware of the other men. He kept firing, but I was more careful not to send a bolt in anyone's direction. By the 20th or so bolt, I was feeling confident.
I smiled, and angled a bolt back at Kylo. He dropped the blaster and reached out a hand, stopping the bolt in midair. My jaw opened and I walked over to look at the bolt. Fascinating. I retracted my blades.
"Wow," I murmured, then turned to him. "Teach me," I said calmly, though I was still bursting with energy, anticipation.
The blaster bolt moved again, flying into the distance.
"You are not my apprentice."
I laughed. "Apprentice!" I laughed some more until I was doubled over. I didn't need a master. It was insignificant, useless, a ploy for control, a recipe for jealousy and betrayal.
His rage was growing, almost a visible aura around him, and it egged me on. I felt powerful, confident. I was done waiting for him to figure it out himself.
"You think so small, Kylo!" The force was flowing through me like rushing rapids. I wanted him to understand, and didn't care if it pissed him off.
"The force is ours, we are the force! Why do you insist on following ancient religions? Because people told you to?" I felt his anger mature, and I slammed happiness into him in response. He roared in anger, trying to dispel my effects.
I pushed harder, not giving up, happiness mixing with love and peace. He bellowed louder, and tried to shove darkness at me, his hands lifted toward me. I chuckled, a low rumbling from deep inside my diaphragm.
"You cannot fill me with darkness, Kylo! It already resides in me, it is a part of me!"
He screamed, infuriated by my resistance, and shoved his arms out in front of him again. Purple lightning flared from his hands. I ignited one of my blades randomly, screaming as I fended the lightning off, shoving it away. Purple and white mixed in my vision; the irony of which blade I'd lit was not lost on me, and it fueled my next decision.
I lifted my left hand, called to the light, inviting it into me fully, then mimicked his motion. Fury and life roared through my veins, their middle ground finding euphoria, a sense of peace, like the eye of a storm. My scream stopped, and my eyes rolled to the back of my head.
I could feel the grass, the roots, the soil, the microbes. I felt the trees and their inhabitants, the sun rays, each of the eight men surrounding me. I felt Darro's panic, so I smothered him with acceptance in the blink of an eye. The Knights were in awe, their thoughts all different. Then there was Kylo, a massive, black hole of rage. His power was pulsating through the planet beneath me. Though I observed all of this in almost no real time at all, it felt like I was living in that moment.
Lightning left my fingertips, the feeling oddly serene. I opened my eyes as our lightning connected. The moment they touched, they imploded.
Kylo slammed backward, into the command shuttle, and I flew back, my body eventually grinding back against the ground, grass shards and insects flying up around me. My connection to the force remained, and I felt Darro's panic return. As soon as my body stopped, I stood up. I screamed as I again called on the force, opening myself completely, and I exploded.
My love for the universe and life erupted similar to my orgasm bombs, but much stronger. I slammed my soul into all of the men, the insects, the plants, every living thing nearby. They would feel everything, my darkness, my light. My love, the staggering love that I felt for so much in my life.
My mother. My father. Ar'alani. Eli. Kylo. The force. The Knights. The ships. My job. The Ascendancy. The Chiss. The feeling of running barefoot in grass, water on my skin when swimming, the sun on my face, the peaceful dark of the night. Everything I loved, slammed into them like a blaster bolt. Their shock was palpable.
When I had nothing left to give, I felt myself disconnect. I no longer felt the force, only a hyper-awareness to my own self, the feeling overwhelming and shocking.
My body went slack and I fell to my knees. I gazed forward, trying to comprehend if everyone was okay before I went unconscious. My lidded eyes absorbed everybody on the ground, trying to stand up. Nobody was in pain. Then my vision left me as I fell. I felt the dry grass on my face, and I dropped into a feverish dream full of colors and melodies I didn't recognize.