Vote please (tap on the screen the click bottom left star)
Pls comment throughout the chapter! Boosts the story :)
All because mommy ella said so.
..........
Someday, in another life we will dance around the kitchen, with nothing but the refrigerator light to guide us, to illuminate our shadows. Your arms wrapped around me will be enough to keep us safe from the demons of the world, even as we grow old and frail, the spark will never die Between Us.
The spark that keeps us desperate to explore every part of the world. I don't care if people call us crazy or insane or too young to know if forever truly exists, since it'll never fade with age. I would never grow tired of squeezing your hand three times or receiving a paper ring until it's platinum. There is not a single person in this world that would jump in front of a bullet for me, yet you would, you would guard me with your life. I promise to spend the rest of my life, loving you and only you. No one will ever, ever replace the bandages you wrapped around my heart.
I'm yours, only yours and forever... yours.
————————
Belles Pov
one
two
three
one
two
three
"He died on impact, the drunk driver hit the side of their car."
one
two
three
'Holding on hurts more than letting go.'
one
two
three
"There wouldn't have been any time to save him." I watch as the nurse avoids my grieving girlfriend eyes.
one
two
three
"Don't you get it! We don't care about Mark. What happened to the others!?" I hear Beth shout at the nurse.
one
two
three
"Beth, please." I plead as the stands up, getting scarily close to breaking.
"He uhm... he is stable. But, he's on life support. Hasn't woken up since he was evacuated from the scene so... It's really a matter of time."
one
two
three
'Holding on hurts more than letting go.'
"Let us see them." The nurse shakes her head at Beth. "I'm sorry, only family is allowed in there at this moment in time."
one
two
three
I cant take this, I cant do this, I don't want to do this.
"WE ARE THEIR CLOSEST THING TO FAMILY." I shout and the nurse takes a step back, glancing at David and Julia beside me.
one
two
three
"I suppose I could... bend the rules?" She shrugs and the rest of us nod as if that wasn't the obvious answer.
one
two
three
"If you will just follow me, you can see them one at a time... if that's okay." She guides the four of us down the hall to room 15. Opening the door slightly.
one
two
three
"This is Leo's room uhm, Who wants to go first?" They all look at me and I shake my head. "That's uhm, that's okay someone else can go first." David looks at me and I nod, making sure he knows I don't mind.
"And Oli's room is over here." She opens room 16 and waits for one of us to step up. "Can I, please?" Beth asks and I nod, smiling at her for re-assurance.
"Do you know why Leo, Mark and Oliver were all in the same car?" I whisper and the nurse looks over her chart. "Oliver said that he was planning to surprise his friends, got the plane home from Boston with Mark and Leo..."
one
two
three
"Wait so if... Oli, can talk? He's fine and is not on life support?" I question quietly. "Correct, We are still running tests but everything should be okay with him."
Leo.
I thank the nurse and she walks off, head down to the floor. "Julia?" She looks at me and takes her hand in mine.
Leo is on life support, Leo.
"I know baby I know." She kisses the back of my hand, leaning my head on her shoulder. "He will be fine, I know he will."
——————
"Oh come on Belle, don't pretend that you're not overjoyed that I'm alive?" I reluctantly smile at him. "You're an ass Oli."
one
two
three
He smiles right back at me, ignoring the roll of my eyes. "I uhm..." I watch as he fiddles with his hospital gown. "I know this might not be a great time for you to hear this, and you can stop me whenever. But I told Elizabeth that... that I love her."
Although my life is shitty, knowing that Oli's isn't right now? Makes me happy. He deserves Beth. They are so disgustingly perfect for each other.
"I'm happy for you Oli. But she said it back.. right?" This time he rolls his eyes. "Yes, Belle. She said it back." I laugh as he tugs me into the little hospital bed beside him, throwing an arm over my shoulder.
one
two
three
"I never stopped loving her, at my new college? Couldn't even stand to talk to another girl, it felt like cheating on my non existent Beth." It warms my heart when he says Beth. Just a little.
one
two
three
"Y'know, it's crazy.. all I wanted to do was surprise you guys, and now here we are, in the hospital, again. Is Lily here?" I nod slowly, letting a tear fall down my cheek.
"I'm glad you're okay. I know I don't say it often, but I'm grateful that you're alive. Breathing, you're fine, you are fine, Im fine. We will be fine." He kisses the top of my head, squeezing my shoulder lightly. "And Leo? He will be fine." Oli whispers.
——————
"Life is so painfully short Belle. We don't know how long Leo has left, don't you want to talk to him?" Beth questions and I shake my head. Beth is totally right. I should talk to Leo, even if he can't hear me.
"Fine." I smooth down my red top and fix my hair quickly. I can do this. Everything will be fine, because I am fine.
one
two
three
one
two
three
I push open the door, shutting it behind me. And there he is, hooked up to machines and bruises across his face, his pretty face. Bringing myself to walk over is difficult, but I do it, standing over him.
"Hi." I say quietly, wiping a tear from under my eye, putting my hand in his and squeezing.
once
twice
"I'm gonna be one hundred percent honest, because you don't know what I'm saying."
"So uhm, being honest... I don't think I loved you at my birthday party, I think I loved the idea of you until you said fuck miscommunication and went ice skating with me, simply because I asked and that's not a reflection on you.. It's me being scared to love someone until you convinced me it was okay to lean on someone, despite our differences."
"You taught me how to live, you did. After everything in my life, I truly believed that I had no one. Sure, I had friends, great friends, but no one understood how much I fucking hate the silence and love music. How much I wanted to die every time I was called worthless or a disappointment and what I felt like when I had to count to three and be reminded of him. Now, when I count to three, I see you princess. All you, no one else. "
one
two
three
"I remember that, specifically after Lily gave birth and I sat on your lap, thinking how much I wanted to dedicate my threes to someone who doesn't just deserve them, but loves them. And you of all people deserve them.
one
two
three
"Wanna know something kinda funny? I think I truly loved you later than I should have, in the best way possible. When you went ice skating with me, I think I finally understood you and you understood me. At the start, we tolerated each other's interests and somehow, over time we learned to love them."
one
two
three
The tears cloud my vision, making it harder to see his pretty face. "You cant do this to me Maxwell." He stays deathly still, in some narcissistic way, I almost hoped he would move or open those pretty green eyes of his, squeeze my hand three times and rub a thumb across my bottom lip as he so often did.
Compliment my red top and question where Karen and Theo are, hand me a little paper ring and tell me everything is fine. "You just cant do it. You cant leave me." I plead.
one
two
three
"You take up so much of my heart Maxwell, it would be a lie to call it my own. It's like... when I met you...? It felt like listening to a song for the very first time, knowing it would be my favorite for eternity."
one
two
three
"I fell in love with you, because.. because you loved me when I couldn't love myself. But sometimes, holding on hurts more than letting go."
one
two
three
"I mean.. you were meant to teach me how to drive, I promise if you hang on for me, I'll learn, just for you. I'll send Cole to jail because you deserve to know that I have peace and feel safe. I'll cut up whatever pity flowers are left on Marks grave just to spite him. I'll never, ever do things in threes. I'll make sure Beth and Oli get their happy ending, because god knows they deserve it..."
one
two
three
"I'll make sure that Karen and Theo never forget you, I'll wear red everyday, hell or high fucking water. My paper ring will remain on my finger for eternity, because that's where you would want it to stay. That annotated book you gave me? I'll reread it every day just to get a glimpse of your handwriting. David will always be taken care of, I promise. And on the third of every month, Ill leave a red rose by your graveside, because it's your favorite colour." The tears are pouring down my face now, and I don't care. Because I don't deserve this.
"Every time Beth starts lecturing one of us, Ill smile and pat her on the shoulder, because that's what you would do. I promise to learn that stupid game you love, because you want me to. I'll live every single fucking day on this earth for you."
one
two
three
"And you wanna know why Ill do all these things, princess? Because you are my golden and I will always be your golden, even if you sigh and roll your eyes when I mention Taylor Swift in conversation. You are mine, and I'm yours."
My head involuntarily sits on his chest, I can hear his heart beating on the monitor and I can hear it, physically beating in his body. I hear it getting slower and slower.
"I've lost two people to car crashes, my dad... and myself. The day Cole drove me into that wall was when I lost myself, you found me princess." I smile to myself at the nickname, if he could hear me right now he would glare and then kiss me on the forehead.
Claim he hates me but truly meaning the total opposite.
one
two
three
"You cant die before me, you big loser. Robinson and Maxwell, Please live to make it Maxwell and Maxwell. Do it for me, you are meant to love.. me!"
Please.
"You said you would go anywhere with me, right? As long as I'm in the passenger seat? Then start driving, please. Drive to me, live for me. I don't care how selfish I sound, because I deserve to be fucking SELFISH!"
"EVERYONES LEFT ME." The monitor goes dead, my heart stops along with his. And I sit... I watch the beeping line go dead. The last movement of his heart, slowly reaching the end of the monitor.
"I told you not to die before me..." I whisper quietly. Watching him slowly slip away.
one
two
three
It goes silent and I hate it. I hate the fucking silence.
one
two
three
My heart skips a beat when the monitor beeps, it's quiet and it's low. But it's a beep, a singular beep. An active fucking heart.
"HELP. SOMEONE HELP ME." Two nurses rush in, glancing at the monitor and then back to me. "Ms Robinson, he's gone." I stand, open mouthed.
They can't be serious. "BUT I- I SAW A FUCKING BEEP."
one
two
three
"Step away from him please." One of the nurses ask very politely, and deep down I know that I should. But even deeper down? I know Leo would never leave me without saying goodbye, right? Right...?
As soon as I try press the emergency button beside his bed, my hand is squeezed.
once...
twice.... And only twice.
——————
Authors Note
The fear of people not finishing this book right now is very intense, please keep reading lmao. :)
Can we also pls discuss this quote...
"You take up so much of my heart Maxwell, it would be a lie to call it my own. It's like... when I met you? It felt like listening to a song for the very first time, knowing it would be my favorite for eternity."
Lots of Love Losers, mommy ella <3
Words - 2222
Date - 27/02/22