Requested by Savannah_ye
This oneshot is a modern AU and will be in Mikasa's POV
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We've been best friends for as long as I can remember. Best friends, yet for some reason that hurt. I didn't understand why. It wasn't like this before, so why now? Why do I hate being her best friend? I love her, so shouldn't I be happy that I'm considered to be her trusted friend? Someone she can rely on? I had become so confused over something so small
"Mikasa?" Armin asked. I was snapped out of my thoughts as I looked at the blonde boy
"Yes?" I asked
"You said you wanted to talk about something?" He asked. I nodded slowly
"Yeah, I did.." I said. Armin looked at me confused
"If you need time, I understand. I won't force you to rush yourself" He said. I smiled softly at how considerate he could be
"There's this girl that I'm friends with.. but being her friend.. it's hurting me" I admitted. Armin looked at me concerned
"Well, if she's hurting you. I don't think you should continue to be her friend. Your needs should always come first" Armin said. Armin wasn't understanding what I meant
"No, she's not hurting me.. but us being friends, I don't wanna be friends.. at least I don't think I do" I said
"I'm confused, what do you mean?" Armin asked
"Like, I love her to death.. and I would do anything for her.. but.. it's just different.. I've never had this problem before" I said as I began to bite my nail. It was so frustrating on why things had changed. I couldn't understand why. Armin's eyes read me as he tried to figure out what was the issue. There was silence for a couple of minutes before Armin softly spoke
"You love her, right?" Armin asked. I nodded to let him know, that I did
"When you say that you love her, do you mean platonically or perhaps, romantically?" Armin asked. My eyes had widened
Romantically?
"That can't possibly be right.. I'm a woman and she's a woman.. I can't-" I was cut off
"There's nothing wrong with it. Mikasa, tell me, how do you feel at the thought of dating this girl?" Armin asked
Me and Y/n dating?
I imagined us going roller skating or eating dinner together. It all felt so right, it felt perfect. Unknown to myself that my cheeks tinted a light shade of pink. Armin understood it all
"Mikasa.. I'm not you, so I can't tell you everything.. but I think you have feelings for this girl.. and I'm sure whoever she is, she must be very special" Armin said
I'm in love with her?
"She is.. but if I have feelings for her, then wouldn't that ruin everything?" I asked. Armin gave me a reassuring smile
"No, I don't think it will. Being honest about your feelings is important. If you're in love with her, I think you should tell her" Armin said
"And what if she rejects me?" I asked. The thought of Y/n leaving me behind and breaking our friendship broke me. If I were to confess and she rejected me. I wouldn't be able to live if she wasn't in my life. She was so important to me, I couldn't lose her because I wanted to be selfish. I could ruin everything, and was it worth it? Did she even like girls?
"If she does, then she isn't the one. It will hurt for a while, but you're strong and I know you will get through it. You will find someone, if it's not her, you'll find someone else. You will be happy, I know that for a fact. But I don't think you should wait too long to tell her, because for all you know, she could be harboring those same feelings. Maybe she's scared to tell you in fear you'll reject her" Armin said. My eyes widened at the thought of her feeling the same way
"You think she might feel the same way?" I asked. Armin chuckled
"If she's smart, I'm positive she's head over heels for you. You're amazing Mikasa, and if she can't see that, then maybe she doesn't deserve you. And should this all go terribly wrong, at least you can say you tried. To me, I'd rather have no regrets than to regret not doing something. I'm pressuring you, aren't I? Sorry.. I want you to do what you think is best, Mikasa. That's just my two cents" Armin said. I nodded
"Thank you, this really helped" I said
I think I'm going to confess
"I'm glad to hear that" He said. I got up and went to leave. My hand was on the door knob when I suddenly stopped
"Mikasa.. I hope you don't mind me asking but, what's her name?" Armin asked. A loving smile appeared on my face
"It's Y/n" I said. Armin smiled as he nodded in understanding
"I think it will go just fine" He said before I left. I got into my car. I still wasn't sure if Y/n was even into women. She always talked about guys around me, never girls. Perhaps I was setting myself up for failure. What if she ridiculed me for being in love with someone who's gender was the same as mine?
I started my car and began to drive to Y/n's house. As I drove, my mind filled with unpleasant thoughts. So many things could go wrong. I wondered if I should stop while I still could and pretend like none of this was happening. I could always continue to be her best friend, even if it killed me inside. Her happiness was more important than my own, and I would willingly give up my happiness for hers. The thought of her smiling made my heart run laps. She was just so perfect
Eventually I had arrived at her house. I was stuck sitting in my car as I debated on whether I should confess. I wasn't focused on my surroundings because I was stuck in my own head. So many unknowns
What if I was making all of this up and I didn't really love her? What if this was a phase? What if Y/n thought poorly of me because of this?
Her opinion of me, mattered more than my own opinion of myself. The thought of Y/n hating me, made me want to shrivel up and die. I didn't want her to hate me. Not at all
I was brought back by the sound of someone knocking on the window. I turned to see Y/n smiling at me as she waved. I felt my heart skip a beat as I saw her smile. She looked so beautiful. I nervously rolled down the window
"H-Hey.." I said
"What are you doing sitting in your car? Is something going on? Do you need to talk?" She asked concerned
She's concerned for me. She's absolutely perfect. In my eyes she was an angel that had fallen from the sky, and I had always thought things like that, but I never thought it was because I was in love with her, but rather because that's how I assumed everyone viewed their best friends
"Mikasa?" She asked concerned
"Huh? Sorry.. um, yeah I do need to talk.. to you" I said. Y/n looked at me concerned
"What do you want to talk about?" She asked as she rested her elbows on the door. Her head peeking into the car as she stood on the side of the road
I have to do it now
"Well.. I don't.. know how to.. you know.. say this.. but.. I don't want to be friends anymore.. I can't.. it's hurting me.." I admitted. Y/n looked taken aback. Her eyes were filled with hurt and confusion
"I-I don't understand.. did I do something wrong?" She asked with a hurt tone in her voice
No, please don't talk like that. Ahh, I need to be more specific. She thinks I hate her
"No, no, no, no. You did nothing wrong.. please, just give me a moment to explain.. this is really hard" I said. Y/n nodded despite being hurt by my words
"Take all of the time you need" She said
"What I'm trying to say.. is that I don't want to be your best friend.. the thought of being with you.. it makes me really happy.. but I don't think I want to be with you.. as your best friend.. I think I want to be more.. I want to spend my life with you.." I admitted. Y/n's eyes widened in shock. There was no longer this hurt look in her eyes. She seemed almost content before she sighed in relief
"Oh thank God, I thought you found out I was gay and you were gonna drop me" She said. My eyes widened in shock
"Wait, you're gay?! All I ever heard you talk about when it came to love was guys" I said
"Yeah, that's because I was worried you would think I was weird.. To be honest, hearing you say that you have feelings towards me makes me really happy. I was worried I'd be stuck as your best friend forever, watching as you fell in love with someone else from the sidelines.. but you feel the same way, so it's okay now!" Y/n said with the brightest smile I had ever seen. My face tinted pink as I realized she felt the same way
"You like me, too?" I asked. She leaned in and gave me a quick kiss. Even if it was just for a second, I was mesmerized by her soft lips. I remembered how many times I had stared at her lips and assumed that it was normal for best friends to be entranced with each other. But it wasn't normal, best friends didn't do that. It was something that lovers did. I missed the feeling of her lips on my own. I wanted her so badly
Y/n gave me a small smile before I brought my hand up to the back of her head and brought her back in. I crashed my lips onto her own. It was like bliss to be so close to her. I was addicted to her, she was like a drug. She immediately kissed back, it was a slow and sensual kiss. Neither of us wanted to ruin this long awaited moment. We broke apart and smiled at each other like little school girls
"So.. does that mean I finally get to call you mine?" Y/n asked me
"Yeah.. yeah it does" I said
(1798 words)