13
NAM: Can we talk soon Nan? Mom miss you, also the the results are out. Your father saw it already. I want you to see the result in person, we have to talk about something.
Nan received the message from his mother for an hour now, he read the message for a hundredth time now. He doesn't know what to reply to his mother. She always tries, she always says she loves and misses him but why can't it reach him? Why her affections cannot reach his heart? Did he just focus on getting his father's attention when his mother is trying so hard to get through him?
She always gives love, her warmth and gave up her passion for him and to his father but they both ignore her. Muang Nan was hit with the realization of what his father did to him, is what he is doing to his mother also. He groan, how can make up with her? How will do it?
Why this day is just... Too much?
First, Two is indeed a piece of art. Second, Tat is really back and he was just... Frozen in place, clinging onto Un with his life depending on his partner. Last this, his mother and his realization.
Oh, and he is already sexually frustrated then his boyfriend is tiptoeing around the issue.
"Ah fuck!" He exclaimed, god why him? He can take all the three issues easily if Un just pin him down and do his way, in anyway that he wants to do Nan.
He look at his front and saw his lectures and laptop, yeah and finals exams is just around the corner. He wants to cry already.
"Rough day?" He heard Un asked with a light voice.
"God Un, if you can do me rough it won't be a rough day," Un chocked on his coffee. He gave Nan a playful glare still coughing.
"Study," Un said sternly.
"I can't focus! Just give me something to motivate me. Take me on the couch or I don't know on this floor?"
"Nan..." Un said looking at him crossed arms. Standing like a greek god that he is, a few feet away from Nan.
"After exams," Un said leaving Nan to go to the bedroom.
"UN WHAT THE FUCK?! SO FAR!" When Un disappeared from his sight he banged his forehead on the coffee table. What a torture.
--
Un is looking at the e-mail he received. It's from Nan's father offering him a work after college in Italy, in an art gallery.
It's a huge opportunity but he don't want to leave Nan. He can do things he loves to do while he is in Thailand right?
He is not going to lie, the offer is good to look at in his résumé but just thinking about leaving Nan alone. He cannot do it.
He have to talk about this to Nan. He doesn't want to keep this a secret. He doesn't want this to be a misunderstanding, he know things like this will crawl their way out and run everything over. He doesn't want Nan to find it out in other way thinking that he didn't tell Nan the e-mail because he is considering the offer.
He took his laptop with the e-mail and walked out of the bedroom to see a studying Nan on the coffee table with a pout, maybe because of their conversation earlier. When Nan heard the bedroom door open he look at Un's way and pout more. So cute. His reading glass makes him more attractive.
Un put his laptop in the front of Nan and notions for him to read the e-mail. He is confuse but he turn to read it. Nan is quiet, then there is it. His eyes with anger. He is mad alright.
"What the hell is he playing at?" He bellow in rage.
"I don't even know how your father got my email address,"
"Are you interested?" Nan asked with a tone telling Un that there's a deeper meaning than what he is asking. What is this?
"Muang Nan," Un said with a commanding tone making Nan look up to him. There is it, Nan's distant stare. Un frown.
"What are you thinking?"
"Aren't this an ultimate dream for a fine arts student?" Nan said nonchalantly.
"Your point is?"
"Is it great that my family already like you so much to give you a graduation gift? I mean what are the odds of meeting me on that one fated day? Did you really met me by accident or you-" Nan stopped. He realized he was out of line. Did he just accused Un of befriending him, making him fall for his own benefit? His eyes widen and looked at Un's head bow down, his jaw is clenched. His face is blank.
"Are you done insulting me?" Un asked looking at him with a tormented eyes. His lips pressed into a thin line.
"Un I-" He forgot how the guy didn't even know anything about him before. Damn it Nan! You and your stupid mouth.
"I didn't know you see me that way," Un said as his eyes watered. He chuckle unhomorously. Fuck, it hurts.
"I show you the e-mail so that you won't hear or find it out in other way. For you not to think that I'm considering it or something. I didn't want that to ruin what we have," Un gave a painful forced laugh and took his laptop from Nan's front. Un shook his head in disbelief. How can this, made Nan said things he shouldn't have.
"Un I-" Un stared at Nan with empty eyes. Fuck. What should he say? How can he take all those words back?
"If you are angry with your father or your family, they are not me. Don't lash out on me. Let's just... Drop this conversation," Un said as he turn around and get inside the bedroom again. Leaving Nan to cry in frustration. Thinking back all the words he just accused his boyfriend of.
--
Finals came rushing in.
Both Un and Muang Nan got too busy with deadlines and projects. They had no time to talk about that night.
They live in the same apartment, sleep in the same bed, eat in the same table - but the silence is killing him. Sometimes he was about to talk to Un but Un got a call from the people in their play project. Or in sometimes he gets home and Un already sleeping then the next day Un gone to University first with just a note, 'Made some breakfast, take my car', most of the time he just cry. He misses his man.
He sigh as he pass the last exam of the finals. God, what a week without Un. He studied hard cause he don't want Un to thought if he fails the exams that it's his fault. No way. He already did a huge void in their relationship, he won't do something that will push Un away.
He walked outside and Mork greeted him with a smile. He smile weakly back to his bestfriend. There, Mork knows something is wrong, specially with Nan's fluffy eyes.
"Let's have a snack?" Nan sigh and nod his head. There's no point of denying to his bestfriend that he have a problem.
--
"Excuse me, you what?" Mork asked with disbelief and he just lean back carelessly on the back rest of the chair he is sitting on.
"I know I messed up," Nan said quietly but it's enough for Mork to hear.
"God, Nan. I'm more surprise that he isn't kicking you out of the apartment," Mork said massaging his temples.
"Hold the fuck up, lemme get this straight, you accused the person who fell for you the first time he saw you, of knowing who you are the very first day that he met you thinking that it is a sheer lie because you assume that he knows your family's influence?" Nan groan hearing the whole idea that he had in his brain that night. He was not thinking right, he was so used of people befriending him because he can take them inside places a normal people can't go.
"What the hell... No wonder the man just put himself in studying and doing his projects and stuff," Mork said as he sigh.
"It's the last day of exams I'll talk to him today,"
"Call me if everything goes wrong,"
"But-"
"No buts, just call me," Nan nod and just sip his strawberry milkshake sadly. He look at the people outside the store as they walk pass by since they're in a mall. He saw Un still in his uniform, he stood up fast, startling Mork and turn look at what Nan is staring.
"Is that-"
"Yeah," while they're looking at Un he saw a young guy, probably in Meen's age run towards Un, jumping into his arms. Un laugh then after they hug Un pat the younger man's head, Nan angrily walks out of the store with Mork in his wake.
God, I just want to eat pizza, Mork thought.
--
PRIN: I'm near I saw you already!
Un smile as he saw his younger brother's message. The young male decided to visit him and wants to meet the one their mother is gushing about.
"Phiiiii!" Prin exclaimed as he run to his brother he didn't saw for a year. He jump into his arms, Un just laugh. After the hug, Un pat his head.
"Prin you got taller," Un said smiling at his brother. Prin nod his head.
"I'm hungry, I-" Prin was about to say where he wants to eat when...
"Un," A voice boomed, making Un and Prin look at where the voice is coming from. To Prin's surprise , it's two good-looking guys. One is taller than the person in the front. The taller guy just sigh and the person in the front is looking at him, hard. What? Prin lit his head like a confuse puppy.
"Nan," Un said making Prin look at his brother, his brother utter the guy's name so softly. Wait...
"And who is this?" Nan said with a forced smile. Un sigh and put a hand on his brother's shoulder getting a glare from Nan.
"Well, babe. This is Prin, my younger brother," Un knows what is Muang Nan's thinking with his adorable angry face.
"Oh really? Wha-" Nan's eyes widen as the words from Nan registered in his brain.
"Wait brother?!" Muang Nan yelled in the mall causing people to look at them.
"Yes Nan," Nan turn red and clear his throat turning to Mork who is trying to hold his laugh. He mouthed 'Fuck you' to his bestfriend making Mork to burst out laughing.
"Well let's all eat together, my treat," God, Mork enjoyed that. He wonders, what will happen later for the lovers.