2012
The sound of screaming was like music to her ears, and she couldn't help the satisfied smirk that tugged at the corner of her lips at the sight of people running for their lives. Some of them even tripped over themselves in their haste to get away, but she paid no attention to them. They didn't matter. The only person who did matter, the only person she had eyes for, was the man in front of her.
He was crawling away from her on his elbows, and his fearful eyes kept darting back to her over his shoulder as if doing so would prevent her from reaching him. His once sleek navy suit was now dirty and torn, and his brown hair stood on end. The gunshot wound in his thigh was still oozing blood, leaving a trail of dark red blood for anyone to follow.
"Please. I have a family. I can pay you. Whatever you want. Please." His eyes shone with fear as he pleaded for his life. It was a desperate attempt, trying to reach her humanity by mentioning his family, but what other choice did he have?
It was to no avail, however. The girl, his pursuer, couldn't be swayed by a simple sob story, or even all the money in the world to abandon her mission. Her employers would never allow it, and they had total control over her.
In this line of work, she was known as Topaz. Did she have a real name? Yes, or at least she used to. Did it matter? No. In the end, the only thing that mattered was her success rate at missions, and it was high. There had been only one time where she had disappointed them, and the consequences had been dire.
So, she never let them down again.
Her missions were usually quick and quiet ones, allowing her to remain in the shadows. However, not from a distance, as most assassins did. No, her specialty was to eliminate the targets up close. To watch the life drain out of their eyes. Feel how their bodies went limp as their heartbeat slowed down to zero.
But today, her mission was not meant to be kept in the shadows. HYDRA wished to make a spectacle out of this man's death, so that was what they would get.
The big plaza was in the middle of a big city in northeastern Europe, creating the perfect scene for what her employers wanted. With the eyes of the world upon her, causing this man's death would create the disruption they were after.
The man in question, the Norwegian Secretary of State, had been filing a motion that would simplify international cooperation. In turn, that would make it easier for countries to help each other in times of need, both in war and in economics. It would strengthen the bonds between the borders, making for a more peaceful world.
But HYDRA couldn't have that. In order for the world to fall into chaos, it needed to be unstable. People needed to be desperate. And the motion would have the opposite effect of what they wanted. So instead, this man's death would serve as a warning to anyone who dared to think among the same lines as he did.
Topaz had been walking just a few paces behind the man, just far enough so that if he managed to get back on his feet, he would believe he still had a chance to escape. It was all a part of the game. Fueling the victim's hope just enough so they kept fighting, only to extinguish it at exactly the right moment.
In response to his pathetic begging, she quickly closed the distance between them and crouched down in front of him. As she was now in his way, he was forced to stop. He gulped hard, with his eyes fixed on the ground as he was too frightened to look her in the eyes. Like a mantra, the man continued to mumble about his family, as if they would be his savior. But unlike before, he was now too distraught to be able to form complete sentences.
To play with the man's emotions, she stretched out her hand and cupped the man's cheek in almost a loving matter. All to make it seem as if she was considering letting him live, making him believe that he had been successful in his attempt to reach her humanity.
He flinched at her touch, and she could see tears pooling in his eyes, but none fell. A smile settled itself on her face, although it was hidden from the man's view as the mask she was wearing was covering the lower part of her face.
"Don't worry. You'll meet your family soon enough." She whispered in a falsely sweet voice. This caused one tear to fall, and she stroked it away with her gloved hand. For just a moment, relief washed over the man's features. It seemed like the simple gesture inflicted more hope that he had managed to reach her humanity. But it was replaced by horror when she put her free, non-gloved hand on his chest.
"I'll make sure they join you." The girl continued before she pushed her hand inside the man's chest and ripped his heart out. The sound of the cracking ribs made his eyes widen for a fraction of a second before he gave a last shuddering breath before his whole body turned limp. Blood was trickling down her forearm as she discarded the heart carelessly beside the now dead man.
"NO!" Keira's eyes snapped open, awoken by her own scream. The only thing she could hear was the sound of her heartbeat pounding in her ears mixed with her own frantic breathing. Her thoughts were all scrambled together, and she couldn't think clearly. All she knew was that she couldn't stay here, wherever here was. As she scrambled away from her position on the soft bed, she fell out of it and hit the cold floor with a dull thud.
Crawling away and pushing herself against the wall, knees up to her chest, she kept repeating the same word over and over again. No. Her whole body was covered in a cold sweat, and she buried her head in her hands. She pressed the palms of her hands against her closed eyelids until stars erupted, dancing in the darkness.
Logically, she knew she wasn't back there. She wasn't back under HYDRA's control. But with her racing mind and shivering body, it was hard to think clearly when the man's death was replayed over and over again inside her head.
The door to her bedroom flew open, a distressed redhead appearing in the doorway. Natasha had been awoken by Keira's scream, which wasn't a surprise as the walls of the apartment were pretty thin.
And she didn't hesitate one second to run to the rescue. Upon seeing Keira huddled in a corner, knees up to her chest and head in her hands, Natasha crouched down and slowly neared the distressed woman. "Hey, hey. Look at me, Keira." She whispered softly, trying to draw the blonde's attention from whatever was going on inside her head.
When Keira heard her own name, she looked up from between her fingers and met the calm, but slightly worried gaze of the redhead. "T- Tasha?" She whispered weakly, even more confused by Natasha's appearance. Time and space did not make sense at the moment. Where was she? When was this? Was this reality, or was this just another dream? As her heart began to pound harder in her chest, it felt as if something was pressing against her throat, causing her airways to constrict and forcing her to take short, shallow breaths. Her hands curled into fists, and her nails dug painfully into the palms of her hands, but it did nothing to calm her racing heart.
The redhead reached out and touched the blonde's shoulder, not missing how her breathing became more and more shallow. "Hey, listen to me. You're not there anymore." Natasha said calmly as she settled down beside the distressed woman and began stroking her arm in a comforting matter. Because she knew better than anyone exactly where Keira's nightmares had taken her. "You're in New York. You work for SHIELD. You're okay. You're okay."
Rather than calming Keira down, like Natasha had hoped it would, it only caused the blonde's face to scrunch up in confusion, and her eyes shot down to the floor again. The words didn't make sense. New York? And SHIELD? It wasn't possible. She was HYDRA. She had been HYDRA since she was young, and she still was. Or was she? No. She had been HYDRA, she wasn't with them anymore. But the organization still haunted her, even years later. Would she ever be free of them, or would they continue to haunt her for the rest of her days?
As the saying goes, the sins of your past have an unfortunate way of catching up to you.
Natasha noticed that her words had little to no effect on the younger woman, so she scooted closer and took the blonde's shaking hands in her own. She hoped it would offer some stability, something real to ground her to this reality, rather than the one going on inside her head. "Keira. Try to remember the cold nights." She whispered, watching how the grey eyes shot up once again to meet her own green ones.
"The cold nights..." Keira repeated absentmindedly. Despite gazing straight at the redhead, she didn't really see her. It was as though she was watching the real world through a mist. It was unclear, unfocused.
But the familiar words had the effect Natasha wanted. Slowly, very slowly, the mist was vanishing from view, and her eyes were becoming clearer. It was a small difference, but it was the first indication that she was starting to return to this reality.
The words were a reference back to when the two of them had first met, or it had been their first real meeting face to face. It wasn't a particularly happy meeting per se, but it had stuck with Keira as it had been her salvation. And therefore, she would always be in Natasha's debt. So, when her nightmares woke her up like this, and her mind wouldn't allow her to think clearly, the words had worked as an anchor, a lifeline to drag her back to reality.
While the words had somewhat eased her mind, a large part of her was still trapped inside the nightmare, replaying it over and over again every time she closed her eyes. That day would forever be etched in her mind.
Sure, she had done a lot of bad things during her time with HYDRA and that mission wasn't even the worst of it. But it was one of the ones she regretted the most. When Keira had finally been rescued from HYDRA's grasp, that was when she realized the impact of that particular death.
If the motion the man had proposed had been passed, it could have helped so many people. It would've prevented so much death and suffering. Instead, because of HYDRA, she was the cause of thousands of deaths, people starving and wasting away in their own homes. Falling victim to famine, war, and disease.
"Yes. Remember the cold nights." Natasha whispered, brushing her thumb over Keira's knuckles. She was relieved to hear how the blonde's breath was becoming steadier, deeper. Along with the shaking of her hands subsiding, it was a clear sign that Keira was starting to calm down.
As she chewed on her lip, Keira blinked slowly as she finally accepted the redhead's words completely. She was in her apartment, she was safe. HYDRA wasn't here, nor did they have control over her. "Tasha..." She whispered weakly. The fact that she had awoken Natasha, just because of some stupid dream made her feel immensely guilty. "I- I'm sorry for waking you up. You should go back to sleep." The blonde tried standing up, in an attempt to enforce her words, because she didn't want Natasha to feel pressured to stay with her. But the redhead dragged her back down to the floor without hesitation.
Natasha shook her head, her red hair swaying slowly as she squeezed Keira's hands reassuringly. "No. You clearly had a nightmare again. I thought you got rid of those?" She questioned, watching the blonde's face with a worried expression. Her heart ached at seeing her best friend in such distress. If only the guys in the science division could come up with a cure to nightmares. Keira wasn't the only one who was in need of a good night's sleep without nightmares.
As Keira met the green orbs with her own grey ones, she saw the redhead clearly for the first time since she had woken up. The thin layer of mist no longer obscured the face of her best friend. If anyone else than Natasha had found her like this, she would've dismissed the whole thing.
But she knew the redhead would never judge her, so she decided to tell the truth. "I was... B- But they returned after our last mission. Guess it brought back the good old memories." She chuckled humorlessly as she cradled their joined hands under her chin.
The nightmares were the worst. Because she had no chance of protecting herself while sleeping. If the old memories tried to resurface during the day, she could usually push them back behind the red door and hold them at bay until they subsided. But during the night, she was vulnerable. That's why she usually stayed up late. Neither her mind nor body wanted to fall asleep. Because she knew what was waiting for her if she did.
The forest green eyes didn't express pity as most would. No, understanding shone through them, because Natasha understood more than anyone. Being plagued by old memories was one of the worst things a human could go through because no matter how hard you tried, you can never be free from your own mind.
"I get it. I'll check with medical once we're back to see if they might have something for you. Even if they can't rid you of the nightmares, at least to keep you sleeping." Natasha proclaimed as she got back on her feet and dragged Keira with her to the bed. "You need some more hours of sleep though. It's only three in the morning and I heard your show playing until one."
Keira gave a light chuckle at the mention of her shows. Natasha was always the one who kept a close eye on things, especially the ones she cared about. "Thank you. Still, you should go back to sleep. I don't wanna be the reason for your bad sleeping schedule as well as mine." She sighed, her shoulders heaving.
Natasha shook her head in response, leaning forwards just a bit to stroke a few blonde strands out of Keira's face and tucking them behind her ear. As if her sleeping schedule wasn't messed up already, which the blonde was well-aware of. "I don't think so. I'm staying with you. Now, come on." She scooted up against the headboard and held up her arms so Keira could huddle up next to her.
It was such a simple gesture, yet it caused Keira to genuinely smile for the first time that night. She obliged and leaned her head on Natasha's shoulder as the redhead put her arm around her. It meant the world to her that Natasha chose to stay with her. Not that Natasha ever had left her after a nightmare, but still. As she closed her eyes, she couldn't help the sniffle that escaped her. "Thank you, Tasha. I don't know where I would be without you." She croaked out, her gaze falling to her fiddling hands. This wasn't even a hypothetical statement, it was a literal one. She had no idea where her life would've taken her if Natasha hadn't rescued her.
Natasha smiled and grabbed the blonde's fiddling hands with her free one, squeezing them gently as she leaned her head against the blonde. "Lucky for you, you never have to find that out."
A watery chuckle escaped Keira's lips. She was being so emotional right now, but Natasha was one of the few people she would ever show this side to, so she didn't care. "Yeah. Lucky me." She mumbled sleepily, the tiredness washing over her like a tidal wave. Who knew where she would've ended up if Natasha hadn't made the choice to take her in that day? Either she would've continued to work under HYDRA and continue to spread discord in the world, or she would've gotten killed.
Neither option was very exciting.
❆
Keira was roused from her sleep by a sudden knock on the door. She stumbled out of bed and leaned against one of the grey walls for support. She would never understand why SHIELD decided to have grey walls in all the rooms at HQ. Even though the color was nice, it made everything seem a bit dull. "Who dares to wake me this early..." She murmured to herself as she staggered towards the door. Truth be told, it might not even be that early, since she had no idea what time it was. It might as well be in the middle of the night.
She didn't have many friends at SHIELD, and the few she had was away on missions. Natasha had been away on an undercover one for a few weeks not, and Keira hadn't heard anything at all from her. Which was expected, but still, her life felt empty without the redhead. Clint was also away on another assignment, something to do with the Tesseract. The alien cube with an unknown amount of power and abilities.
Despite not getting much information about it, since SHIELD liked to keep secrets, she gathered that Clint was supposed to oversee the process while scientists tried to determine a way to contain the Cube's energy.
As far as she was concerned, it wasn't smart to do so. She understood the reasoning behind it, as she had heard about the destruction the Asgardians had caused the previous year. Nevertheless, messing around with a power whose limits are unknown, was dangerous. Although the main argument was to find a key to infinite sustainable energy, Keira couldn't help but suspect that there was another reason for it. However, it wasn't her job to question the works of SHIELD.
So instead, she opened the door. "Maria?" She questioned confusedly, rubbing her sleepy eyes in an attempt to wake herself up more.
After looking the blonde up and down, who was still wearing her pajamas, the brunette raised an amused eyebrow. "Still sleeping, Keira? The fact that you weren't answering my calls had me thinking you were dead." Maria spoke in a dignified tone, but a small smile was visible at the corner of her lips, which betrayed her grave demeanor.
Keira squinted at the woman. "Calls? You've called me? Since when?" She turned around and walked over to her bedside table, where her phone was charging. She hadn't heard her phone ring, which wasn't really surprising as she never had the sound on, but the vibrations were always more than enough to alert her. But as the screen lit up in her hand, she saw to her dismay that Maria was right.
Maria must have seen her face fall because the brunette moved into the room with an almost smug smile on her face. "You got the calls then, I presume?" She asked amused, crossing her arms loosely over her chest.
Keira glanced from the screen to Maria. It wasn't like her to miss calls, and she felt a bit guilty for making Maria come all the way over here. "Yeah. I got the calls. Apparently, I slept through them all. I'm truly sorry, Maria." She said apologetically as her gaze averted to the floor in shame.
Maria placed a reassuring hand on the blonde's shoulder as her expression softened. "It's alright. But you need to get dressed right away. There is an issue with the Tesseract that requires our immediate attention."
Keira's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Oh? What happened?" She asked as she scanned the room for some work-appropriate clothing. The only thing she could spot at the moment though was a pair of socks at the foot of the bed, so she dived for them. While she struggled to put the socks on, she glanced back at Maria who was watching her with an amused expression on her face Apparently, her jumping around on one foot as she tried to keep her balance while putting a sock on was hilarious to the brunette.
"It's too early to tell. From what I understand it's just... Acting oddly." Maria shrugged her shoulders. She hadn't gotten a lot of information on the subject yet, and it bothered her. As one of Fury's closest deputies, she was expected to be on top of things.
Keira's face scrunched up in confusion. "Acting? You say that as if it's a living thing." She concluded as she reached for the hem of her shirt in order to put on a more appropriate one. Not one decorated with Golden Retrievers in hats.
Maria turned around at this gesture, giving the girl a sense of privacy as she changed into work attire.
Unlike Maria, Keira didn't change into a suit. She hated the feeling of it, as they were way too tight for her liking, and she didn't enjoy the feeling of a one-piece at all. So instead, she pulled on a pair of black cargo pants and a navy sweater with the SHIELD logo on the back. Her clothing decision had not pleased the management at first, but as Keira had argued; if the men were allowed to wear it, why couldn't she? And that was a fact they couldn't argue against, so they had accepted it, if only grudgingly.
"I couldn't think of a better way to describe it. Fury just told me that we need to get there. He didn't elaborate as I needed to collect you first. Fury will brief us in the helicopter." She finished off simply with a shrug.
It was obvious that something was going on, Keira could tell by the tone in Maria's voice. It was almost a tone of bitterness behind it. Or annoyance at not having been briefed correctly maybe? But something was not going as it should. With no further information, however, it was impossible to conclude what was wrong.
"Alright, I'm done. Let's go." She said as she finished tying the laces of her combat boots. Maria led the way up to the helicopter platform, where Fury was already waiting for them. The tall and stern-looking man greeted them with a simple nod before boarding the helicopter.
"What's the situation, Director? Any news?" Maria asked once they were all seated. Fury sat on one side, Maria and Keira on the other.
"No. As a precaution, however, the facility will be evacuated until we have a better grasp of the situation." Fury answered simply. Not even he knew the full details of what was happening. And as the man in charge, he needed to know those things.
Keira looked between the two of them, feeling a bit left out of the situation. Both Maria and Fury were talking in such vague terms about it all, so she couldn't make either head or tails of it. "Excuse me, sir. I feel like I'm watching from the sidelines here. Where are we going? And a full evac seems a bit excessive, doesn't it?" She asked, sounding rather bolder than she meant to. Despite knowing about the Tesseract, she had no idea where it was being kept. SHIELD wasn't a fan of sharing everything with everyone, instead, they kept the agents on a strictly need-to-know basis.
His one eye pierced hers as he gazed at her. "We are headed for the PEGASUS facility in New Mexico. Selvig and his team are working hard to contain the Cube, but until we have full control, I do not wish to put any personnel at risk. So, no, a full evacuation is not overly extreme. We will assess the situation once we arrive there, and deal with it." Severity permeated every syllable of his words.
New Mexico? The PEGASUS project had long been rumored, but she had never been able to comprehend what it really meant. But maybe she'd get a glimpse of it now. "That sounds..." Keira began, racking her brain for an appropriate word. "Interesting." It was the best she could come up with. Science had always fascinated her, but it was far from her favorite subject.
"Interesting?" The Director scoffed. "Yeah. That's one word for it."
The rest of the journey was silent. All three of them were deeply contemplating what awaited them at the facility. Who knew what unknown power that little cube from outer space held? Keira didn't even want to think about it. The possibilities were too immense, too frightening.
She was so lost in her own head that she hadn't even noticed that the pilot had announced their arrival but was called back to reality when the helicopter softly touched down in New Mexico.
~~~~~~~~~
A/N: First chapter done! Hope you'll enjoy this story! :D