TIMEOUT - Part Seven
It seems like you haven't been in a hurry as you left. Kyun just sees you walking out of the building at the other side of the corridor. Relieved, that he doesn't have to look in the entire school for you now, he follows you outside. A little lost you sit there on the lawn, staring into the emptiness.
"Y/N" Kyun asks hesitantly and your head shoots up to him.
"I'm not weird!" you blurt and he tilts his head, confused before he shakes it firmly.
"I never assumed you're weird..."
Okay, maybe he did but not in an insulting way! Carefully he sinks next to you into the grass and resists the urge to take your still-bandaged hand.
"I know that I have some... idiosyncrasies that are... hard to deal with. I know that I'm annoying and that you've been trying for weeks now to figure me out but I..." you stop and Kyun's eyes widen in shock as you suddenly start to cry.
Oh, gawd.
The urge to hug you was never stronger but he still has this strange feeling that you might not want this.
"You're not..." he says and carefully pulls your hands down as you cover your face. "I mean you are... a little but it's okay... and... I like those idiosyncrasies..."
Confused you furrow your brows. "Why?"
Kyun chuckles and gently tucks some loose hair behind your ear. "Why not?"
For a long moment, you look at him before a soft smile appears on your face. He's just about to open his mouth again, as he hears someone calling his name. Confused, he turns and sees... Rose?
"Can we talk?" she asks with a smile on her face and eyes you head to toe. Inwardly Kyun growls. He hates this. He hates the impact that girl has on him. His common sense tells him that you're more important right now... but. It's Rose! No matter how hard he tries, he just can't pretend he doesn't care about her.
"Kyun?" she says a little impatiently and shakes her head as if she can't believe he's making her wait.
"Go!" you say and get on your feet. "We'll meet after school!"
He feels his skin prickling pleasantly as you touch his arm before you walk past him.
"Who was that?" Rose asks after he got on his feet and walked over to her. "I've seen you quite often with her lately?"
Why does she even care?
"Her name's Y/N" Kyun replies and scratches his head. "She gives me extra tutoring..."
Rose bites her lip, still watches you walking over the lawn, and shakes her head. "Not the prettiest..."
Of course, she says stuff like this. Her biggest hobby is tearing others down to make herself feel better. He hates that he feels attracted to a girl like her...
But first loves probably always hit differently.
"What do you want?" he asks, a little annoyed and suddenly Rose tilts her head and lays her hands on his chest.
"Why are you so grumpy? Kyun... I really miss you..."
This dude feels like he's tripping. Did he hear this right? This can't be...
"What?" he gasps and eyes her surprised.
Rose bites her lip and lets her hands glide up and down his chest.
"Yeah... I was stupid... not knowing what I want... I'm sorry!"
Hm. For such a long time he was hoping, dreaming about this. He wanted her back so bad but now...? He feels... nothing?
"But maybe," she says shyly. "Maybe we shouldn't make a big deal out of it..."
These words confuse him.
"What do you mean?"
Rose shrugs, smiling. "We don't have to tell everyone..."
In disbelief, Kyuns takes a step back.
"So you wanna date in secret?"
What the fuck is wrong with this girl?
Still smiling, she leans against his chest again. "I wouldn't call it that..."
Angry, he shoves her away.
"Then what?" he asks a little too loud. "What am I to you? Good enough to fuck but actually dating is... a no go?"
He can't believe it. He always knew Rose is selfish and he spent so many days and nights asking himself what he sees in her when she's everything he despises. But somehow she got him. She played him. Manipulated him. It's ridiculous that Kyun is realizing this only now.
"Why are you so upset?" she asks and pouts. "You know that I'd never... I mean... you're just a football player..."
"Oh my god!" he gasps and throws his head back laughing. He doesn't even know why he's laughing but it's probably because he would burst into tears if he let himself feel the sting of her words.
But somehow he's happy that she made him realize this. He can't even express how happy he is that he finally seems to be over her. Finally, he can look at her and feel nothing but disgust.
"You know what..." he says and scoffs. "Fuck you, Rose!"
"Excuse me?" she shrieks and takes a step back "What is this now? Are you dumping me? Kyun... you..." she leans closer and lowers her voice. "You fucked me!"
He can't believe she's playing this card now.
"No Rose!" spiteful he looks at her. "You fucked me! In every way possible. I'm so through with you!"
He's just about to leave as she stands in his way.
"Don't... don't you dare!" she spits at him and there it is. Rose's true face. That girl that becomes a bitch when she doesn't get what she wants. Like a toddler that's about to throw a tantrum.
"Don't worry!" he says and eyes her contemptuously. "I leave it to you to play the victim! Don't forget to tell everyone how Im Changkyun fucked and dumped you! Maybe this makes you realize what kind of person you are. I'm so done with your bullshit!"
With these words, he leaves her standing there and walks back into the building. There are so many mixed feelings inside of him now. He's so relieved because he can't hide that he suffered a lot while she had him on her hook. But what she said... still hurts him. Will he ever be good enough for anyone?
"Kyuuuuuun!" you whine and throw your head back after pulling over his notebook to look over the exercises he just did.
"What?" he asks, annoyed.
"Please!" you say desperately. "You made such progress! Don't act so stupid again!"
There. Again you're calling him stupid. No matter what he does, people will always make him feel like he's not good enough. First Rose. Now you....
"I'm not stupid!" he says angrily and shoves his notebook away. "This is stupid!"
Sighing, you look at him. "You're not even trying it! Look... when—"
"I didn't get it the first five times and I won't get it now!" he rants. "I'm done with this shit! Why the hell am I doing this to myself?"
Kyun has reached a point at which he's forgotten why he's torturing himself like this. Why is he trying so hard, so so hard when no one ever gives him credit?
"Kyun-"
"No!" he interrupts you again. "I hate it..."
"Hate what?"
Your voice is so calm again and he knows you're trying not to piss him off any further but it's too late anyway.
"That you look at me like this! And are like this to me! I'm really really trying but no matter what I do I'm always stupid! Fine, I am, now what?"
Sulking he stares at the table, can feel your eyes on him but he's done being charming, done trying.
"I'm sorry..." you whisper eventually. "I never meant to... what's wrong?"
There's nothing he hates more than watching you freaking out and he has no idea why. Something inside of him wants to do the same with you now, wants to let you suffer. But you don't deserve these kinds of games. So he sighs and plays with his pen.
"Rose..."
You take a deep breath and support your arms on the table. "What about her?"
"Can I ask you something?" he asks and looks at you. "And be honest with me!"
Immediate you nod. "Sure!"
He can't ignore what Rose said to him.
"I'm not asking for your personal opinion. I'm asking you as an objective person!"
Confused, you tilt your head slowly. "O...kay?"
"Would you date me?" he blurts and instantly, you rip your eyes open.
"What?"
He knows how stupid this question is after Min's comment at lunch earlier. But he can't bring himself to worry about your comfort at the moment.
"Answer the question!" he says desperately. "Am I so... boring... or stupid... or... whatever... that you'd see it as an insult if I asked you to date me?"
To know that he's not trying to hit on you seems to relax you. He sees your expression changing and you clear your throat.
"Is she giving you this feeling?"
"You think I'm stupid as well... but her? I never felt so worthless in my entire life..."
He has no idea why this upsets him so much. But maybe this was a lot. Emery said the other day that he's nothing when he can't play. Rose doesn't wanna date him - he doesn't care anymore that she doesn't want him but it still... hurt.
"But you're not..." you say and he feels your hand on his arm. "Changkyun, look at me!"
Gulping, he turns his head. Seeing how compassionately you look at him... does something to him.
"You're fun! And you're smart when you really want to be! You're charming, handsome, pretty sensitive, and caring! Not to mention what an amazing striker you are!"
"Wide Receiver..." he smirks and looks at you. "Strikers are in soccer..."
"Oh..." immediately you blush. "yeah but you get what I mean!"
Kyun never meant to make you say what you really think about him. But now you did and suddenly it's almost as if his anger evaporated. He never thought knowing you like all these things about him would make him this... happy?
"Is that really what you think?" he asks a little shyly.
"Yes!" you say and nod firmly while fumbling with the math book, apparently trying to sound nonchalant - as nonchalant as the day you both met. Why does it suddenly make you nervous complimenting him?
He smirks while watching your face carefully. You're still avoiding his gaze but blushing hardcore. How cute you are...
"Rose is a girl that simply doesn't know what she wants!" you say and glance at him. "She'll feel sorry one day for treating you like this... at least when she realizes that you're probably the best thing that could've happened to her..." you add mumbling, your eyes fixed on the book again.
Kyun's jaw drops and his heart skips a giant beat. He can't remember the last time he felt this... this... excited?
"Y/n?" he asks, smirking and you lift your head sheepishly.
"Yes?"
"Are you flirting with me?"
Gulping, you stare at him before you shrug. "I'm... not good at this..."
Kyun throws his head back laughing. He can't believe what this conversation did to him. Not only that he feels 100% better, no. You're actually trying to flirt with him.
"I appreciate you a lot..." he says and smirks at you. "Thank you!"
He really is grateful for you. At this moment he has absolutely no idea what's going on with him but it doesn't matter. Because he feels good. He is... happy... that you're here.
"Do me a favor..." you say in a low voice and seem to have your confidence back. "Don't let others make you feel worthless... stick to the people who love you for who you are, okay?"
Smiling, Kyun nods.
"Shall we stop for today?" you ask and gather your stuff together. "It's Friday and it's been a long week..."
Okay, he hates this. He knows that you wanna do him a favor by letting him leave earlier but this actually makes him sulky again. Because he wants to be here... with you! But he should appreciate your effort.
"Yeah..." he nods and you get up.
"Alright!" you say and grab your bag. "See you on Monday then?"
Smiling, he nods and waves at you as you're leaving the room and can't help but ask himself one thing: Have you always been this... this... adorable...?