A/N: Somehow I have the feeling that the story is not well received so far and I wonder whether I should continue writing it or not. Mhhh, I'm pretty at a loss right now and will, after this chapter, give it my thoughts and decide whether or not to continue. I feel like it's too bad the time I'm investing to write chapters for this book when hardly anyone wants to read it. And the story is just beginning.
Do you know this? For days it seems to be quiet and almost peaceful and yet you just can't get rid of this feeling that this is just the calm before the storm? That's how I felt during the last week.
Somehow everything seemed to return to normal. Which started with the fact that the TV stations no longer reported incessantly about the sinkholes and some theories. There was also no more speculation about when this colored fog would disappear and we would see a blue sky again.
Likewise, not a word was said about the creatures. As if nothing had happened and all this in the here and now was simply our new reality with which we had already come to terms after a few months.
I found it somehow really grotesque when a new sinkhole appeared near the city and the media only reported that a well-known Chinese director soon wants to shoot a new movie with a big star cast here in Beijing and the surrounding area. They speculated about the new film and what genre it would be, as the director was known for his versatility.
Um sure, that's the kind of thing I want to know, right? I mean, hello, there's a new sinkhole near the city where more than 50 people and their homes have disappeared, but they'd rather discuss a movie that hasn't even been confirmed by the director yet? Just like the allegedly top-class star cast!
The best thing this week, however, was that the government decided to end the lockdown and return everything to normal, despite the unknown danger that could still exist. All businesses are open again. People can go back to work as normal. Children in daycare, kindergarten and schools. And students can go back to the university. I was also able to go to the office every day again.
Of course I was also happy. But still I am unsure if this was really the right time to end the lockdown. Thank God I don't have to do patrol duty anymore. But knowing that there is this strange creature that Yibo and I saw makes me doubt if we are really safe. Where there is one of these creatures, there could be another or even more.
Even my boss said he was unsure if it was really a good idea to end the lockdown. He still doesn't believe me about the creature and I'm still not allowed to talk about it. But he said that there are other factors that worry him. Like that new sinkholes are still appearing all over the world and no one can predict when and where the next one will appear. In addition, he finds the colored fog very worrisome because, again, it's still unclear when that will go away and if that will even happen.
I haven't said anything about it. I barely talk to my boss. I get new orders, give my information in writing and verbally in our morning meetings and that's it. I don't trust him anymore. Why should I? He doesn't trust me either! So I behave professionally.
Of course, my boss has already noticed how distant I am from him. I was never like that. To me, he was always like a young grandpa and I liked him. I often confided in him and he always listened to me. But after he told me he didn't believe me, he took away my trust in him and I kept my distance.
A few days ago he came up to me and asked me what was wrong with me? He wanted to know why I wasn't having lunch with him like before. I said, "It's nothing sir. If it's all right, I'll go back to work." He looked at me in total shock and told me to follow him to the office. I then pointed to a stack of papers I still had to go through and said I didn't have time now. He insisted nevertheless.
In the office, I immediately understood that my boss really had no idea why I didn't feel like talking to him anymore. Because he asked me, "Are you mad at me for sending Agent Wang on an undercover mission?"
"What agent Wang? We have four of them here!" I replied flippantly.
"You know exactly which Wang I mean."
"No, I'm not mad. That's his job."
"Then why are you mad?"
"I'm not mad."
"Oh, come on. You may be able to fool others. But not to me!"
"I honestly don't want to talk about it okay?"
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to talk about it. If it's nothing official, I don't even want to talk to you anymore."
"Xiao Zhan!"
"What?"
"I want to know with what I made you so angry!"
"Let's just say I don't want to tell you anything anymore because I no longer have any confidence in you."
"Why?" He asked me, horrified.
"Because you don't trust me! So why should I trust you anymore? What's the point of talking to you if you don't believe or trust me? And I want to go back to my workplace now, because I have a lot of work to do." I said. I stood up and left my shocked boss behind. Yes, I could see that he was deeply affected by my words. Yet they were so few.
Admittedly, I was shocked even by myself. Maybe it was also because everything is annoying me at the moment. I can't cope with myself at the moment. I have a hard time concentrating and my attention is not the best either.
I think it's because I miss Yibo so much and worry about him every day. He called me every night for 9 days and then nothing. It's been 7 days since his last call and I'm getting desperate. In addition, his parents call me constantly and want to know if he has contacted me and when he will finally return from his "business trip".
I am slowly running out of excuses. I don't know what else to say to them. They already suspect that he is not on a business trip. And my parents also wanted to know from me where Yibo is. Our parents think that he and I had a fight and that he ran away and is now hiding somewhere to recover from the fight.
Whatever I say, they twist it and don't believe me. They just want to know what is going on and I can't tell them. I hope Yibo comes back soon, because slowly but surely I can't take it anymore. I finally want him back here with me! I just miss him terribly.
I'm really trying to stay calm, keep a clear head and just wait until he comes home again. But now that I'm back in the office working largely my normal hours, I have a lot more time to think. And the more I think, think about him, the more I long for him.
And it's not like I can influence my thoughts, either. Heavens, I have really tried. I tried to clear my mind with meditation. I tried to redirect my thoughts, to just think of something else. But it doesn't work. And then I have two of my best friends with whom I now often talk about how much I miss Yibo and how I feel, and I get to hear that I shouldn't make such a fuss, after all he hasn't died, but is only on a "business trip" and might not be in touch for a few days.
In these moments I could despair that I am not allowed to tell anyone the truth about Yibo's and my job. Without this knowledge they don't understand and believe that I am just exaggerating because I am heartbroken and miss him. But that's not all, because I worry about him every day, because I know absolutely nothing about his mission and whether he is in danger or not.
But I don't want to just whine now and tell you about something I didn't expect. Because while I keep quiet about what my real job is to everyone, really everyone I know, Yibo excluded, Yibo didn't do that. There are actually people in his circle of friends who know about his real job.
Even more, his best friend and his friend's boyfriend know what my job is! Two days ago, the two stood in front of my apartment door and originally wanted to visit Yibo. I let them into my apartment, offered them a drink and explained that Yibo was on a business trip and I didn't know when he would be back.
Seungyoun then said, "So he's on a secret undercover mission?"
I looked at him questioningly and Wooseok, Seungyoun's boyfriend explained, "We know about Yibo's real job and he also told us that you are special agent in the same agency." I was speechless! And I have to be honest, I was angry too. Because Yibo, without my knowledge or permission, was telling others what I do for a living.
However, my anger quickly dissipated after the two of them explained to me that they too are agents in our agency. I was actually relieved. They both work in data processing, so we haven't run into each other before. Because they work in the basement and I work on the 9th floor.
So then after my gasping stopped, I nodded and said, "Yeah, he's on a mission."
At that, the two of them grinned, took out their laptops, and Seungyoun said, "Well, let's see what he's up to and how he's getting on." Um, that was so illegal because they hacked into our top boss's computer. But I was excited like crazy because I was finally going to find out where Yibo was and what he was doing. Until the two of them explained to me what his mission was!
Wooseok said, "Yibo is in the country! He's not exactly around the corner, but he's definitely still in the country. It says here that he, along with other agents, received orders to investigate rumors of creatures that supposedly appeared near the first sinkhole that appeared here in the country."
Seungyoun added, "It says here that three and a half weeks ago a communique, that means a governmental communication, had been issued to our agency, according to which several e-mails from scientists had been intercepted, talking about "strange creatures." In order to verify the rumors, several agents were infiltrated into the ranks of those scientists on an undercover mission to find out how much there is to these rumors."
Wooseok then read aloud, "The rumors have not yet been confirmed. However, the agents speak of conspicuous behavior of the scientists and an area in the research institute that they cannot enter and can only be entered by the scientists. It is assumed that they may have evidence of the creatures there or even a creature itself. The assumption is based on the fact that this said area is guarded by several heavily armed men from a private security unit."
So I have no idea what to say to that. On the one hand, I now know that he is relatively safe. And on the other hand, that means they obviously knew long ago that there were or are other creatures when Yibo and I told our boss about our sighting. And yet they didn't believe us? Did I miss something? I really think I'm in the wrong movie!
If they are making such a secret of it, I wonder why? Through the news channels, everyone already knows that there were and are creatures in Poland. Maybe they just want to prevent a panic? Do they need proof that they can touch before they admit that these creatures exist?
At the moment it seems to me that our government is losing control. There are rumors of these creatures here in our country!!! And yet they are ending the lockdown? I honestly don't know what to make of that. And while I'm at it, when was the last time I actually saw a politician or government official live on the news? Mhhh, I don't remember.