Hard to be sure
Sometimes I feel so insecure
And loves so distant and obscure
Remains the cure
All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
- All By Myself • Celine Dion
All through the morning, James had been a little bit of a nuisance. Of course, he had a reason for it, and an embarrassing one at that. The truth was, he hated the way that fashion had changed. And, for some reason, the Telmarine servants who were supposed to helping James change, didn't allow him to wear his old Narnian clothes.
Frankly, it annoyed him. So, all morning, Caspian had tried to wrangle him. That was, until they were forced into the courtyard. The courtyard where so many Narnian's had died.
They all stood, proudly, in front of a crowd. However, they weren't the ones speaking for once. This time, it was Caspian's turn.
"Narnia belongs to the Narnian's just as it does to man!" He began, and immediately James knew he would do well. It only took seconds, but he was proud. "Any Telmarine's who want to stay and live in peace are welcome to. But for any of you who wish, Aslan will return you to the home of our forefathers."
Unconvinced, one man called out. "It's been generations since we left Telmar!"
Calmly, Aslan relied. "We're not referring to Telmar. Your ancestors were seafaring brigands. Pirates run aground on an island. There they found a cave, a rare chasm that brought them here from their world. The same world as our kings and queens. It is the that island I can return you. It is a good place for any who wish to make a new start."
This was a generous offer. Though James had been known to be a kind King, and a fair one too, he would never have done this for them. Too many had died to them.
There was a silence. One filled with opportunity.
Then, timidly, Glozell spoke up. He was alone in the crowd. "I will go. I will accept the offer."
After him, a woman spoke up. She was beside a man with grey hair, possibly her father, with a baby in her arms. James was to learn that this was Caspian's cousin, the one who could have unknowingly taken his crown. "So will we."
"Because you have spoken first, your future in that world shall be good." Aslan released a breath, as light as a breeze, and blew it upon them. Then, using the same breath, he breathed upon the tree behind him.
James watched as the bark twisted and contorted. It grew, and shaped, and became something completely different. There was a clear opening when the movement had stopped. A portal, back to their world.
"How do we know he is not leading us to our death?" A man in the audience cried out, unconvinced.
"Sire," Reepicheep spoke up, nobly. Something about the situation was making James nervous. Everything was making him uneasy. "If my example can be of any service, I will take eleven mice though with no delay."
Aslan said nothing, but Peter and Susan shared a look. It was the sorts of looks that James and Edmund often shared. The secretive ones. They never meant anything good.
Peter said. "We'll go."
"We will?" Edmund's eyes widened, looking to his older brother.
"Come on..." the second King attempted to convince them. "Our times up."
James shook his head in disbelief. His throat was dry. He couldn't think. "Don't do this." He croaked. "We can stay."
"After all..." Peter continued. "We're not really needed her anymore." He moved towards Caspian, and removed his sword from his belt. The blue eyed boy looked at the leather cover for a while, then, passed it to the Prince. That was when the tears started to well in James' eyes.
Caspian promised as he gripped it. "I will look after it until you return."
"I'm afraid that's just it." Susan but her tongue. "We're not coming back."
"We're not?" Lucy asked, her heart breaking.
"You two are." Peter said to the younger two Pevensie's, kindly. This was the nicest James had seen him in years, and it worried him.
James wanted to stay. He had to stay.
"At least, I think he means you two." He added.
"But why?" Lucy turned to Aslan, frantically. "Did they do something wrong?"
"Quite the opposite dear one. But all things have their time. Your brother and sister have learned all they can from this world. Now it's time for them to live in their own."
"It's alright, Lou." Peter rubbed his sisters shoulders. "It's not how I thought it would be... but it's alright. One day, you'll see too."
Until this moment, James had been quiet. He had stood still, in shock, as the waves of emotion attempted to drown him. Though he still stood tall, he was beginning to erode.
"What about me?" His voice cracked under the pressure. "I... I can't leave. This is my... this is my home." Tears dropped from his dark eyes, creating streaks on his skin. "All I have is here! I don't belong anywhere else! They'll make me fight." James pleaded, desperately.
Aslan's calm voice cut through the air's tension. "They will not."
"What do you mean?"
"You will not have to fight. They will not make you." Aslan clarified, though it didn't feel as if it made any sense.
"You're making me go." James whispered, the reality sinking into his skin like a thousand daggers. "After all I've done... you're forcing me to leave?"
"When the time is right, dear one, you shall return for your final time."
Peter beckoned them all over to say their final goodbyes, but James didn't feel like he could. It was wrong. This was all so frightfully wrong.
James didn't belong there. He belonged in Narnia, and he belonged with Caspian.
The blonde King skulked over to the black haired Telmarine Prince as the tears rolled like waterfalls. Everyone else was saying multiple goodbyes, but James needed this time. Only last night had they talked of forever, now they barely had two minutes.
"Did you hear that?" James laughed as he leant his forehead against Caspian's, his hands instantly touching the olive skin across his jaw. "I'll be back."
"Back for me?" Caspian mumbled.
"God, I hope so." James whispered as the tears dropped from his eyes, onto the Prince's face. "I'm so glad I've been able to experience this with you."
"I wish we had more time together."
"We'll have more." James promised, not knowing what else to do. His hands grabbed onto Caspian's squeezing them tightly. "We have to. I'm not ready to let you go yet."
"James!" Peter called, cutting through their moment.
Reluctantly, James moved away. His feet dragged heavily, an apologetic look in his eyes as he left Caspian standing there. His heart ached, but there was nothing he could do.
A weight grasped his wrist, and spun him around. Caspian had stepped forwards, and held onto James.
"Don't leave." He whispered, but before the King could say anything, Caspian's lips were upon his.
It was passionate, and beautiful, and everything James wanted. He wanted to stay this way forever. James only wanted to be with Caspian.
When the time came to pull away, they shared a tight hug.
"I love you." Whispered James, tentatively, before walking away. He could bare to hear Caspian's reply. It would only make everything harder.
Harvey took his hand, and rubbed the back with his thumb. No words were spoken, because there was nothing anyone could say to make it better. Alfie stood there, almost like a soldier, unaware of what was happening really. He had liked Narnia, a lot at that, but he wanted to go home.
Then, they walked through the tree trunk, but James was hurting. When he was on the other side, he knew he wouldn't be himself anymore. All of his scars would disappear; all old, all new.
As his foot stepped into the portal, James whispered. "I'm not ready."
The wind changed, and it felt as if they were inside of a storm. Then they weren't. Then it was just cold, and dark.
They were on the London train station platform. They were in England, and all that James wanted was gone.
Though he had changed completely, tears still fell. His eyes stung, they were bloodshot, and it hurt. He hurt, everything he was hurt.
"Please take me back." James begged, knuckles turning white as he gripped the school bag in his hands.
Edmund rubbed his brothers back, unaware of what he could do. "James..."
"Please let me go back."
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Disclaimer!!!!
I don't own anything to do with the Narnia book series or film trilogy. These predominantly belong to C.S. Lewis. However, I do own James Pevensie, Alfie and Harvey Gallagher, and their respective alterations to the storyline.