[a/n Update time! Who else is really fucking excited for Pierce The Veil to be at Warped?!?!?! This chapter is dedicated to daylighthxmmings for putting up with me over messages. Enjoy the update, and comment everywhere!]
Song Of The Chapter: "Identity Disorder" by Of Mice & Men
"I question every part of who I am
It's hard to tell which side of me is in the right
With these two different people inside of me
Fighting for my life, fighting for my life
I question every part of who I am
The silence is deafening, my words cut deep
The darkness is blinding, consuming me
All I am is what I say
So turn your back and walk away
My words cut deep, but the silence is deafening."
Tony's POV
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I hissed under my breath as I practically sprinted to Lisa's car. The lyrics to "Family Reunion" by Blink-182 were basically spilling out of my mouth. I had sympathy for Katelynne's marriage problems, and for mysteriously switching bodies with my best friend, and for whatever other crazy shit had been happening lately. But somehow she'd gotten it in her head that she was in love with me, and my relationship with Lisa was about to be ruined over that stupid bitch.
"Lisa, please, please, please let me explain," I begged, tapping on the driver side window. She was crying, but she still looked read to drive over my toes.
"Fuck off, Tony," Lisa shouted angrily. I felt my own eyes fill with tears at the realization of what was happening; I was losing her.
"I swear she initiated it, it meant nothing, I didn't even want to kiss her," I insisted, trying in vain to open the car door.
"Sure, because everyone hesitates to kiss the goddamn supermodel," Lisa replied bitterly. I slammed my hand a little too hard against the side of the car, causing Lisa to jump and myself to bite back a pathetic yelp of pain.
"She isn't you, Lisa! She could be a fucking sex goddess and I wouldn't want her! I love you Lisa, more than I've ever loved anyone, and I won't let Katelynne ruin what we have over her delusions," I cried desperately. It suddenly grew silent, and I was aware of the sound of Katelynne quietly crying on the porch. I couldn't bring myself to care that I hurt her feelings by telling Lisa I loved her. I did love Lisa, and Katelynne could never change that. Slowly, very slowly, Lisa rolled down her window. Hesitantly, I reached in to hold her soft cheek in my palm.
"You love me?" Lisa breathed increduously. I smiled, feeling suddenly shy as I looked into her beautiful starry eyes that yelled 'Surprise, surprise!'
"I love you," I whispered before pressing my lips against her small, inviting ones. I was lost in the kiss with her, so far lost that I didn't even hear the door slam shut as Katelynne went back inside.
Katelynne's POV
I wiped quickly at the hot tears nearly melting the skin on my cheeks. Copeland absolutely could not see me cry, and I didn't want to have to deal with Kellin's questions.
"Hey, do you want me to get Tony so we can talk?" Vic asked me once I'd composed myself enough to return to the living room. Copeland was pulling on Jaime's hair (creds to Jackielovesbands for this), both of them giggling. Just seeing my baby girl was enough to make me feel better. I smiled slightly at the sight before replying to Vic.
"No, he'll be fine. He's with Lisa right now anyway. I'd rather discuss this just with you first," I told him, carefully omitting what had happened with Tony and me mere minutes ago.
"Okay, let's go upstairs then," Vic suggested. I followed him back to his clean room that had been mine up until just this morning.
"So..." I started awkwardly once Vic had safely locked the door behind us.
"How do you think this happened? Tony told me the theory about being upset over the same thing, so we both just need to come clean about that now. We're switched back, and we really just need to figure out what caused this," Vic explained. I nodded in agreement.
"I've thought about that a lot, and the only thing I was truly distraught over was Kellin. I've considered every possibility, but that's it. I don't know what we could've had in common," I said defeatedly. Vic's tan skin paled considerable, and I looked at him curiously.
"What?" I finally questioned. Vic spoke quietly, not looking me in the eye.
"I was upset over him too," he almost whispered. I decided I would probably be less confused and make Vic a lot less uncomfortable if I just let the issue drop. Kellin and he had probably had an argument or something that he didn't want to talk about.
"How did you make Kellin so happy? He said earlier today that he fell in love with who I was yesterday; you didn't have to do all that, you know," I told him. Vic blushed, a small smile on his lips.
"I just wanted to," he said vaguely. The realization hit me like a tidal wave. It explained why Vic was never too terribly upset about the switch. It explained why he got so shy and embarrassed when Kellin was affectionate with him. It explained why he had made Kellin love him so easily.
Vic was in love with Kellin.
"Oh," I replied calmly, very cautious of not upsetting Vic. Kellin was really a good guy deep down, and I honestly wouldn't mind if Vic could make him happy. Vic was such a sweetheart, and he deserved to love whoever he wanted. I thought that Vic recognized I understood what was going on, but neither of us mentioned it.
"I don't know why we switched back. I was a little upset last night, but not over Kellin," I admitted.
"Oh, last night was Kellin again for me. Why were you unhappy?" Vic asked innocently. I took a deep breath before spilling the truth.
"I'm in love with Tony. And as established last night and this morning, he wants absolutely nothing to do with me," I confessed, my voice wobbling slightly. I felt the familiar tears stinging my eyes yet again. Vic's jaw dropped in shock.
"You're in love with Tony? But what about Kellin?" Vic asked in total disbelief. I laughed bitterly, knowing full well that there was nothing remotely funny about this situation.
"I've never been in love with Kellin. Switching bodies with you and getting away from that hell of a marriage for a few days really cleared up any doubts," I declared finally. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, there was a series of loud, sharp knocks at the door. Vic's face was a mask of pure terror, but I calmly went to open the door. However, that same terror coursed through my bloodstream and all the diamonds left my bones at the sight of Kellin's confused and livid face.
"I'll finish this with you at home. I need to talk to Vic now, so get the fuck out," Kellin seethed, his eyes empty of any sympathy or understanding. I hesitantly left the room, despite Vic's pleading and frightened expression. The lock clicked again behind me. I didn't know if I should be scared for Vic, or happy for him. Kellin had almost certainly heard my confession, which meant he knew that I was in love with Tony. It almost meant he knew that Vic and I had somehow switched bodies, though we had yet to finally conclude how that had happened. Did Kellin really fall in love with Vic over those few days? Did he even believe we'd switched bodies? I'd give anything to know what was being said upstairs.
"Where's Tony?" I asked Jaime. He was sitting on the couch with Copeland, utterly engrossed in watching "Maggie and the Ferocious Beast" with her. It was actually a solid eight seconds before he even looked away from the show to acknowledge my presence.
"He went with Lisa back to her place. He told me to tell you, uh, that he doesn't really want to be around you right now," Jaime explained awkwardly. I sighed, sitting down on the other side of a blissfully unaware Copeland.
"Coco, will you go visit Mikey in the kitchen?" I requested, since I knew Mike and Alysha were fixing lunch in there, and Copeland adored Alysha. Copeland happily complied, giving Jaime's now-messy hair one final pat before sliding off the couch. Jaime turned the TV off and shifted so he was facing me.
"Why did you kiss Tony?" Jaime inquired bluntly once Copeland was securely out of earshot. I leaned my head back against the couch, staring at the ceiling.
"I don't know. I love him so much, and he was torturing me with a beautiful face. I just... wanted to," I mumbled weakly.
"He's really pissed, just so you know," Jaime informed me.
"You think I don't already know that?" I groaned. Jaime placed a comfortingly platonic arm around my shoulder.
"It'll all work out, Tony isn't the type to hold a grudge," Jaime assured me. I shrugged, not particularly convinced.
"I guess. By the way, why didn't you tell me that Vic has a thing for Kellin? This whole time I thought it was you, but I guess not," I commented. Jaime's eyes grew comically huge.
"Vic likes Kellin? What do you think they're talking about up there?" Jaime asked, looking towards the upstairs bedroom.
Kellin's POV
I took a deep breath before speaking to Vic. My emotions were all over the place; seeing my wife kiss another man and finding out that she'd switched bodies with my best friend had really taken a toll on my sanity. I noted the fear flashing in Vic's eyes like a car crash; honestly, I'd be afraid of me too right about now.
"What was Katelynne talking about?" I asked as calmly as possible. Vic started shaking slightly with nerves, and I suppressed an impatient outburst.
"Kells, please dont be mad-" Vic started to say, but I interrupted. I wasn't in the mood for any bullshit. I needed an explanation, and I needed one now.
"I'll be mad if I damn well want to be mad. Tell me what the fuck Katelynne was talking about," I ordered through tightly gritted teeth.
"I don't know how, but somehow Katelynne and I sort of... switched places," Vic explained. I didn't say a word, merely waited for him to continue. I would save my furious rant for the end of his story.
"We don't know exactly how it happened. Katelynne did some research, and one book theorized that souls switch places when they're both extremely upset over the same thing. That would sort of make sense since Katelynne and I were both upset over you," Vic continued. I wondered briefly why Vic had been upset over me, but I let him continue speaking.
"We switched that night that you and I were at the bar. You remember the next morning when you were so surprised that Katelynne kissed you? It wasn't her. It was me," Vic told me. I felt the anger and stress building up again, but still I allowed him to finish his tale.
"Last night, Katelynne and I switched back into our own bodies. We aren't entirely sure how it happened again, but we still believe it has something to do with sadness. We don't know for sure, though. That's why Katelynne seems so different now. Because she's herself again, and not just me in her body," Vic concluded. I tried to keep my voice steady, but I failed horribly as soon as I began to speak.
"So let me get this straight; you pretended to be my wife for nearly a week, and you never even bothered to tell me the truth?" I basically exploded. Vic drew back, startled at my violent response.
"I didn't think you'd believe me, and I didn't want to make it weird between us. Nothing bad happened while I was in Katelynne's body, so I figured it would be no harm to you," Vic said. Whatever was left of my composure was ripped to shreds.
"Nothing bad? I thought you were my fucking wife, Vic! I held you, and kissed you, and Jesus Christ I tried to have sex with you! It didn't cross your mind that I might've wanted to know you weren't Katelynne?" I shouted.
"I stopped us from having sex because it was too weird, remember? I just wanted your marriage to be as normal as possible. This was never meant to be more than a memory for you," Vic argued. I shook my head, anger blurring my vision.
"Normal for my marriage is forced conversation and the occasional awkward hug. Not cute dates and actually wanting to be around each other," I told him bitterly.
"Well then I just gave you one happy week," Vic stated as thought that were the end of it.
"Are you fucking kidding me? I didn't need to get reattached to a relationship that doesn't exist, especially not when you're the one screwing with my emotions. You made this painful again," I accused. Vic's brow furrowed in frustration, and it took everything in me to not just punch him right in the face.
"I only wanted to make you happy, Kells," he insisted, but I took no comfort in his words. I took an intimidating step towards him.
"You didn't make me happy, Vic! I fell back in love with a wife that isn't even real! Do you know how much that hurts?" I yelled.
"Sorry," Vic finally mumbled, not meeting my gaze.
"Sorry? You ruin my marriage, that was already absolute hell, and all you have to say is 'sorry'? Katelynne already wants to leave, but neither of us will actually do it for Copeland's sake. Now Katelynne is in love with another man, and she's actually physically cheated on me. I didn't think it was possible, but we're actually doing worse now than we were before. Why didn't you just tell me what happened?" I demanded. Vic was silent for a long moment, his eyes trained on his feet. When he looked up at me, I couldn't read the emotion in his eyes. Vic had always been like an open book with me, and this was actually a little frightening.
"Vic... why didn't you just tell me?" I asked again, a lot softer this time. It felt like forever before Vic finally replied. It was like a heart attack waiting to happen.
"Because I am in love with you."
"W-what?" was all I could respond with, my heart skipping beats at his words. He couldn't be serious, right? This had to be a joke, right?
"You heard me. That's why I never told you about the switch. That's why I let you cuddle with me at night and kiss me in the mornings. That's why you became so much happier when you were with me than you ever are when you're with Katelynne. Because I have been hopelessly in love with you for years, Kellin. And now you're in love with me too," Vic concluded with an unusual amount of confidence in his voice.
"I am not in love with you," I replied immediately. Vic frowned slightly.
"Deny it all you want. You keep saying you loved the person you were with yesterday, and that person was me," Vic stated simply. My head was starting to spin.
"That's ridiculous! I only even sort of felt that way because I thought you were Katelynne. I never would've said or done all the things I did if I knew it was you," I stated harshly. I saw the hurt on Vic's face, but I wasn't done yet.
"And I'm not 'in love with you', or whatever the hell you think I feel for you. I was happy that my wife was being sweet again, and it's really fucked up that you let me believe that. I don't have the time or energy or even the desire to deal with this identity disorder of yours. I'm not gay, and you can't change that by pretending to be my fucking wife! I've said it once, I've said it twice, I've said it a thousand fucking times: I don't love you, Vic, and I never will," I finished harsly before moving to leave.
I left Vic with tears running down his face, standing alone in that bedroom. My mind was already on what I would say to Katelynne.