Word Count: 1503
~Akara
Marek and I promptly set up on the floor, with not much to sleep on other than the couch cushions.
But I'll take anything over climbing back into bed with Tai right now.
"How do you feel?" Marek asks, turning his head to face me. I stare up at the ceiling, trying not to think too much about Marek's proximity. We don't touch, but our sleeping area's are set up right next to each other's. Somehow, it makes me feel safer, even if I'm not sure what from.
"Sick, honestly," I murmur, clutching my stomach. It twists painfully, the anxiety of the entire situation having taken me in it's ruthless clutches. "I have to kill to survive."
"There will be another way, I'm certain of it," Marek mutters, although I hear the uncertainty in his voice. Neither of us have dealt with something like this before, and neither have many other people. It leaves us with nowhere to turn to for answers, and I'm terrified of that.
I roll onto my side, propping my head up with my arm. "Who else would be able to help us?"
"Some people indebt their life to that river, trying to figure out it's magical capabilities. I wouldn't be surprised if there was someone out there that knows what to do," he reassures me. I sigh through my nose, not convinced anybody other than Tai has had experience with this.
But I refuse to believe that he said...Because that would mean I'm going to become a Snow Demon.
"But Tai made the cure that has done this to me. It's unnatural," I exclaim. What he made may not be as violotile as what Vaia fed into me, which has killed many others from her own camp, but it's given me a life I don't want to live. Now I'm frightened of what I'm going to become.
Marek frowns, looking as if he's tempted to reach out to pull me closer to him, but hesitates. "Akara, don't worry yourself over this. Tai is likely just trying to worry you. We don't even know if it's real."
At this point, Tai has no reason to lie to me. But can I really trust him?
"What about the Snow Demon? What if that was enough for me to become a Tani?" I ask. It feels wrong to voice it, as if I'm willing it to happen, but I need another opinion, otherwise I'm going to think the worst.
"I doubt what Tai is saying is true. If you were turning into the Snow Demon, we would know by now," he says, anger simmering in his eyes at the mention of what Tai has been telling me.
I look down at my hands, imagining what a transformation into the Snow Demon looks like, or even what it would feel like. I feel as though I'm already losing my mind, trying to scrape together my lost memories, and the nightmares that plague me suggest that something abnormal is happening to my body.
I close my eyes, trying not to panic. "Should I tell him?"
Marek shakes his head, his marking glistening under the moonlight streaming through the far window. "No, in case he is lying."
"I don't think he would lie about this. It doesn't serve him," I admit. All I've witnessed Tai lie a lot now, but he is more prone to keeping things from me. Tai seems on the edge of reason after everything has happened, and he has been left with nothing. If he is going to start being honest, it would be now.
Marek's eyes are stern. "I don't trust him."
"I know, neither do I," I sigh, torn. "We are leaving here tomorrow, okay? I don't want to be around him anymore."
I don't know where we could go, or what we can scrape together for the rest of our lives, I just know I need to get away from Tai, to think, and to find answers for what's going on inside me.
"So you're going to cut him out of your life? What about Vaia?" Marek asks calmly. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he doesn't care about Vaia, or about what happens to Tai after this.
If I ask him to take me away right now, somewhere else, he would in an instant.
"You and I will kill her. I'm sure Nakoa and Zavian will help too," I decide. Not yet, she will see it coming. This time, we have to be smart about this, and not walk into anymore traps. Right now, Vaia thinks I'm dead, which gives us an edge over her.
And I want revenge. Desperately.
Marek sits up, and I try not to think about the fact that he is shirtless, but my eyes trace over the hard curves of his back and shoulders, dipping down to his muscled abdomen. He's never stopped being painfully beautiful.
"You're distracting yourself, to not face this issue," he exclaims softly.
"There's nothing more I can do, Marek," I remind him. I'm stuck, with numerous paths I could go down, and each of them are terrifying. I'm tempted to just run away, and leave everything I've ever known behind.
Marek watches me carefully. "Just know I'm not leaving your side. Through any of this..."
For a moment, we just stare at each other.
"Why? Why help me?" I whisper.
"After everything I've put you through, it's the least I can do." All of a sudden the proximity between us is strikingly obvious. Because of my rampant thoughts, it's been easier to stay as far from Marek as I can, so I'm not tempted to do anything I may regret. It's already bad enough that these thoughts exist, so I can possibly risk acting on them.
"Hmm, I suppose." I flop down onto my back, tilting my head to watch him still, both hating and secretly enjoying the way he looks at me. It's contrary to how I've seen him look at anyone before.
He looks down suddenly, brows creasing, deep in thought. "And...I know I shouldn't be saying this."
I know exactly where this is going.
"Marek-"
"I know, but you need to hear me say it," he insists. I wince, as he leans slightly closer. What he's about to say may change everything. I've been happily ignoring what I know is going on between us, and I've been pretending Marek isn't thinking about it as much as I am. If he voices how he feels, then it's only going to highlight how I'm feeling just as much.
"I'm in love with you, and have been since we were trapped in Tai's estate. And I never stopped loving you, Akara," he breathes quietly, so Tai can't hear in the other room.
I stare up at the ceiling. "I'm not sure what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. I know after everything you're not going to come back to me so easily," he says.
I tilt my head toward him curiously. "You think I'll ever come back to you."
"I'm going to stay by your side, help you and do everything physically possible of me to make you see that you can trust me. If you want to be with me at some point, then I'm all yours," I tells me honestly.
The heat in his gaze pins me to my spot, daring me to say the word. I know that if I told him I wanted him, right here on the floor of Tai's apartment, he would oblige me.
"And now I'm meant to sleep?" I laugh breathily, unsure of whether I will be able to calm my mind down enough. And him sleeping right beside me makes this even worse.
There is an amused flicker in Marek's eye. "If you want to stay up, I'll stay up with you."
"Marek...I did love you. In Tai's estate. And then I hated you, with every cell in my body, I hated you for your betrayal," I tell him honestly. "But then, I saw you again, and it felt like you were protecting me, that you still cared for me. And despite everything, I couldn't bring myself to hate you anymore."
"But you couldn't love me," he murmurs, looking down at his hands.
"I love Tai. Or I loved him. Now I think that's all gone," I mutter hopelessly.
Marek gives a half-shrug. "Good."
"And I think that's why I know that despite everything you were always the better one for me. Because after it all, I still felt something for you, and now I feel nothing for Tai," I admit.
Marek looks as if he has so much more to say to me, but he decides against it, settling back again. "Get some sleep, Akara. Before Tai gets back."
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Remember that you can always find this story 10 chapters ahead on Radish (:
You will find it under King's Possession Season Three!!
~Midika 🐼💜