Ship: Hyunjin and Felix (Sorry not sorry they're my faves)
TW: toxicity and abusive relationship
Word count: 3150
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Hyunjin loved Felix, very much. They had met back in high school and Hyunjin knew it was love at first sight. After only a few months of knowing the younger, he realized that he would do anything if it meant seeing the other happy.
Even if it meant seeing him with someone else.
When Hyunjin met Felix, the Aussie was crushing on another boy from their school and got together soon after. Hyunjin was left heartbroken, crying every time he remembered the moment where he walked in on Felix and his boyfriend making out in the locker room.
Felix and he fought that night, the elder being pissed since he didn't even know about his friend's relationship, but also sad because he had missed his chance at trying to make Felix his. He had been building up the courage to confess his feelings, but Yeosan had beat him to it.
Hyunjin eventually accepted the fact that he couldn't be with Felix, and was happy whenever the younger was. The smile on his face was priceless to the dancer, even if he wasn't the cause of it. They stayed best friends, and even if he didn't necessarily want to, he listened to everything Felix had to say, whether it was the younger telling him about their first date or the amazing sex they had.
Hyunjin had absolutely no problem with Felix's relationship, up until he noticed a change in his best friend's behavior. He wasn't as happy and bubbly anymore, didn't open up a lot, but the thing that threw Hyunjin off the most was that he was almost ignoring him. It left the elder very sad and confused because Felix wasn't the type to simply burn bridges out of the blue.
However, he was going to get the explanations he wanted soon enough.
~♡~
Hyunjin was sitting in his living room, scrolling through his social media aimlessly since he was waiting for his dinner to cook in the oven. He lived alone, and although it could get a bit boring by himself, he was glad he had his own space and loved that he had a complete creative lead of the place.
He set his phone aside to turn on a show, but it buzzed as soon as it hit the soft fabric of the couch. Intrigued by the sudden notification, he looked at it and frowned upon seeing the text he had received.
Felix
Please come get me
It was a known fact to whoever hung out with Felix that the Aussie didn't own a car, and privileged public transportation. The boy was at his boyfriend's place, so for him to rather be picked up than bus back home alarmed Hyunjin slightly. He decided to give up on his dinner and turn off the oven, slipping in his shoes quickly and getting in his car to drive to Yeosan's house.
When he got there, he saw a sobbing Felix sitting on the porch, his bag of clothes next to him. The blonde almost ran to the car when he saw Hyunjin pull up in the driveway, slamming the door shut and bawling his eyes out. The elder couldn't handle the sight, but he also couldn't stay in the driveway and knew he would be able to comfort Felix better back at his own place.
He put his hand out for Felix to hold, knowing the younger liked physical affection a lot. "Hold my hand, Lixie. You'll be just fine," He reassured, driving back to his apartment as fast as he could.
When he arrived, he picked Felix up bridal style, since the younger seemed way too tired to walk up 4 flights of stairs, and brought him into his apartment. Carefully, he wrapped the boy up in his fluffiest blanket and ran to the kitchen to make him a cup of comforting hot chocolate. Felix's sobs had quieted down by the time he came back, so he sat next to the younger and wrapped his arm around his shoulders.
Felix was nibbling at his cuticles anxiously, obviously very uneasy. Hyunjin took notice of the boy's actin and slowly pulled his hands away from his mouth "Don't do that, you'll hurt yourself," He whispered, only to notice the younger's fingertips slightly bleeding.
"What happened? Why did you need me to pick you up?" Hyunjin decided to ask after a moment of silence between the two, worry plastered on his face. Felix let out an unconscious whine, cuddling further into Hyunjin's hold.
"Y-yeosan...h-he..." He started, eyes welling up with tears again at the thought of earlier's events. He didn't even know if he was ready to talk about it yet. In all honesty, he just wanted to sleep the sadness and betrayal away and simply forget.
Just as he was about to continue, his phone started blowing up with notifications. He just stared at it in horror, knowing who was causing all those dings. Hyunjin picked it up, noticing how all the messages were from Yeosan.
Yeosan <3
Baby, please come back. You need me.
You know you're nothing without me.
You know, you're very demanding. You're lucky I'll forgive you for wanting to break up with me, because if I were the 'bad guy' like you said, I would've broken up with you a long time ago.
You're a lot to put up with most of the time.
Hello?
Will you pick up your damn phone?
Gosh, you're so annoying.
You better be back home tomorrow morning
You don't want to know what'll happen if I wake up and you're not there.
That was enough for Hyunjin to understand part of the situation, so he decided to not push anymore and let Felix come to him and explain when he was ready. For now, he just made sure Felix felt okay, or at least better than a few minutes ago, and let the younger's small figure curl up against him. "Just tell me whenever you want, no pressure," He reminded, kissing the blonde's forehead and pushing his bangs out of his eyes.
He cuddled Felix for as long as he needed to, not pulling away until the other did so. After almost an hour of cuddling in silence, Felix cleared his throat and grabbed Hyunjin's hand. "C-can we talk about it tomorrow?" He asked, looking up in hopes the elder would understand.
"Of course, lix. I'll get my bed ready for you," He said, kissing his forehead tenderly once more before getting up. He made sure his bed was extra comfy and fluffy so Felix would feel safe and welcomed all night long. He knew what happened between his Felix and Yeosan was probably very stressful, so he wanted to take his bestfriend's mind off of it as much as possible.
He turned around and saw Felix standing in the doorway, all wrapped up in the blanket. He looked like a lost puppy, his eyes brimmed with tears and a sad pout on his lips. Hyunjin slowly walked over and guided the Aussie to his bed, having him lie down as he tucked him in for the night "I'll be on the couch if you need anything, okay?" He said, softly stroking the younger's cheek.
Felix shook his head and grabbed the hand that was on his cheek "Can you stay with me..? I-I don't want to be alone..." He asked, staring at Hyunjin with begging eyes. He didn't want to sleep alone in such a big bed, he needed the elder to comfort him a bit more.
Hyunjin smiled and nodded, quickly taking off his jeans and sliding under the blankets. He pulled Felix against him and wrapped his arm around his waist, kissing his forehead softly. "I won't leave you, then. You know I'm always here," He whispered, starting to stroke Felix's hair in attempt to help him fall asleep. It seemed to work very well, since the younger was snoring only a few minutes later. Whatever happened earlier must've drained him from all his energy.
Hyunjin eventually fell asleep as well, arms securely wrapped around the blonde.
~♡~
When Hyunjin woke up the next morning, he noticed that Felix was still asleep, curled up into a foetal position. The elder smiled fondly at the sight and decided to make Felix his favorite breakfast - pancakes with fruit- and have breakfast in bed with him.
He got to cooking, really trying his best to not burn his house down since he wasn't used to making pancakes, but he was really proud of the result when he was done. He plated their food and put all the plates, bowls of fruit and cups of juice on a tray before carrying it upstairs to his room. He peeked in and saw that Felix was awake, scrolling through his phone with his head barely coming out from under the heavy blanket.
"Lixie~I got something for you," He smiled, catching the boy's attention. Felix cocked his head to the side and sat up, setting his phone aside to give Hyunjin all of his focus. The elder walked in with all the food, and his heart melted when he saw the sparkles in Felix's eyes.
"You made all of this for me..?" He asked, almost inaudible. Hyunjin nodded happily and sat down, flattening out his blanket so set the tray down. "I thought it would cheer you up a little," He said handing Felix his plate and cup of juice. Felix sniffled, causing Hyunjin to look up in panic, but the younger was quick to wipe the few tears away and smile at his friend.
"Nobody has ever been so sweet and considerate to me... not even Yeosan," He sighed, looking at Hyunjin with thankful eyes. He was about to thank him, but was cut off by his stomach growling hungrily, causing both males to giggle. Hyunjin handed Felix some fresh strawberries and whipped cream "Eat up, I think you're hungry," The elder chuckled as he grabbed his own plate, the two starting to eat in silence. It was comfortable though, because they were simply enjoying each other's presence.
When they were both done eating, Felix decided to head downstairs and do the dishes, but Hyunjin refused to let the younger do so since he was a guest, but he insisted since he wanted to thank Hyunjin for making breakfast, and the two finally settled on helping each other do the dishes.
When that was done, Felix went back to the couch and wrapped himself in the blanket, waiting for Hyunjin to join him since he knew the elder wanted explanations. When the dancer sat down next to him and wrapped a securing arm around his shoulders, he smiled sadly and sighed.
"Yeosan... I broke up with him..." He started, but Hyunjin had already caught onto that upon reading the text messages the younger had received the night prior. "It took me some time... but after a lot of thinking I realized that this relationship was the most toxic one I could ever possibly imagine... There were so many red flags I didn't see in the beginning, but I finally saw them and decided that I was done with him treating me like I was worthless. I was tired of always being ignored, I was tired of him constantly belittling my feelings and having to beg him to comfort me when I was sad, I was tired of making all the plans for us and putting so much effort into our relationship when he put none.
He would always gaslight me, if I called him crying because I felt the need to speak with him about something, he would hang up on me or tell me that it didn't affect him if I cried. He would tell me he loved me and cared for me, but always acted the opposite, and only the fact that he said it made me stay. He would manipulate me constantly, he had me in his fucking pocket all this time. I stopped seeing you because whenever I hung out with you, he would harass me with messages asking where I was, if I was cheating or whatever. Whenever I hung out with someone that wasn't him, he would give me the silent treatment and that made me feel like shit.
Everything was pretty bad most of the time, but then he would do one amazing thing and I would forgive him for all the shit he's done. I feel so stupid for letting him manipulate me and use me as he pleased...
I was really hoping he would eventually come around and meet me in the middle, put as much effort as he promised he would, be nice to me... but it never happened. Instead, when I went over yesterday, he started yelling at me. He told me I was worthless without him, that all the people in my life were using me and that he was the only one who cared, he insulted me multiple times, he started crying and begging me on his knees to stay... that's when I texted you, because I knew that if I stayed any longer I would've forgave him and stayed..." Felix explained, fully sobbing at this point. It was such a relief to get it off his chest though, because he had been bottling up all those feelings for so long. He was extremely grateful for Hyunjin taking the time to listen.
The dancer was in absolute shock. Their relationship seemed so perfect on the outside, he never would've doubted anything. He was boiling inside, his hatred for Yeosan only growing stronger after what Felix explained. How could someone be such a piece of shit? How can you treat someone who does everything for you so badly?
He quickly wrapped both of his arms around Felix and hugged him tight, peppering his head with kisses. "Lix, I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of you for speaking up, for telling me everything, for being so strong and for respecting yourself and setting boundaries. Even if you think it took you too much time to notice, you still did and you got yourself out of that toxicity. Not a lot of people are able to get out of mentally or physically abusive relationships, lix, but you were." He praised, cupping the younger's cheeks and wiping away all the tears.
That was exactly what Felix needed to hear. Someone validating his feelings, someone making him feel comfortable and loved, someone who made him feel like he had the right to have emotions and live them fully.
"You know, when you're in a relationship, you can't see the red flags. When you're facing a flag, it's really thin and hard to see, but it's when you take a step back and look at the situation from the outside that you're able to notice all the red flags. I don't blame you one bit for not seeing them, and you shouldn't blame yourself either," Hyunjin added, kissing Felix's forehead softly.
The blonde melted into his touch, laying his head on Hyunjin's shoulder and holding his hand tightly. He felt so light and happy now. He was with Hyunjin, he felt safe, and he didn,t need to worry about his toxic relationship anymore.
"You know, Felix, now might not be the best moment, b-but since you're not with that piece of shit anymore, I-I thought that I would man up a-and.. well I-" He started, Felix looking up with a small smile on his lips. "What are you trying to say..?" He asked, still holding onto the elder's hand.
"I wanted to say that I love you without stuttering, but that failed." Hyunjin anxiously chuckled, suddenly regretting saying that. He didn't want to pressure Felix into taking a decision. The boy was probably still traumatized from his abusive relationship and still not ready to give love a second chance.
"I just- I know you might not be ready, but I want to show you how good I can treat you. I've loved you for so long, Lix, longer than you and him were together. I just- I wanted to see you happy at any cost. But now that I know you were not, I want to fix this and be the one to make you happy." He added, feeling the need to justify his sudden confession.
Felix was taken aback, because he never suspected that Hyunjin liked him. He remembered everything the elder did for him, like breakfast in bed, taking so many hours out of his day to take care of him, all the little kisses and cuddles, it all made sense and also made Felix feel all mushy inside.
"I- I can't say right now if I want to be in a relationship again... but I can tell you that if you're willing to wait just a little longer for me, then I can give us a try. I just need to take things slow for now..." Felix explained, rubbing his small fingers across the elder's knuckles.
Hyunjin laughed in relief, kissing the top of Felix's head again and smiling wide. He was so happy at the moment. "I've waited for you for almost 2 years now, I think I can wait a little longer," The elder chuckled, looking down at Felix. They stared at each other for a moment, and Hyunjin stroked the blonde's cheek gently. They were both smiling like absolute idiots. Even if Felix was very scared of his ex and went through something quite traumatic, looking at Hyunjin and seeing his smile made all of that disappear. It was crazy how easily the elder could erase his worries.
He leaned forward, surprising the elder a bit, but he didn't hesitate to lean closer as well. Their lips met, colliding every so gently in a warm, passionate kiss. Hyunjin was putting his raw emotion into it, and Felix felt it. He felt all the love the elder had for him, and that made him feel butterflies. He had never, during almost a year with Yeosan, felt so much love during a kiss. He felt cared for, he felt safe, he felt wanted.
"Your lips are really warm," Hyunjin whispered as he pulled away, still stroking Felix's cheek. He didn't let it show, but his heart was going crazy inside his chest. Little did hw know, Felix's was too. The younger blushed at the comment, responding with a peck on the lips.
"I'll forever owe you, Jinnie. I can never thank you enough for everything you've done for me, you literally saved me... Thank you so much." He whispered, hugging Hyunjin tight.
He was beyond proud of himself, though. He had set his boundaries, put his foot down and decided that enough was enough, and that was probably his biggest accomplishment yet.
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Heya!
I quickly want to address the subject of this OS.
I've been in a mentally abusive relationship. Even if I couldn't see all the red flags, my best friend kept pointing them out but I refused to see them because I was in love. It's really hard to realize how bad a relationship can be when you're in it. Looking back at it now, I regret the way I acted, I wish I had done things differently and set more boundaries with that person, but I'm also proud of myself for listening to my head instead of my heart for once and leaving them, because I knew it was for the better.
To anyone who's in a relationship where they're not treated to their worth, where they feel rejected and neglected, where you're questioning whether or not you should leave them, where they feel gaslighted and manipulated, please take care of yourself and do what's best for YOU
It needs a lot of strength and courage to leave an abusive relationship, but I believe when can all do it. Don't be afraid to reach out to your close one or resources for help. I promise, you're cared for, and whatever you see in that person that's making you stay, you'll be able to see it in someone else eventually.
Anyways, I didn't mean for this to get depressing, but I thought this should be addressed.
Please stay safe out there xx