Camilo came into a sudden epiphany— well, more like he had finally accepted the fact that he had fallen in love. Madly in love with his aloof friend.
He sighed dreamily as he held his cheek, the same place that she had placed weeks before— it's imaginary warmth still tingles on his skin. Her eyes shone brighter than any glimmering gem that exists, it was like he found a random gem- not knowing it was one of the most precious jewel in the world. Her voice smooth butter, sweet like honey, intoxicating—
He abruptly sat up from his bed, his hands aggressively rubbed his freckled face as to push such thoughts away. As his hands runs through his curly hair, he tries to quell the erupting volcano that is his feelings. God, he's too whipped.
"Papá, I wanna ask you about som—"
"Is it about that little señorita, from a few weeks ago?"
His eyes widened, face flushed with crimson as his father merely smirked at his son's reaction. It's quite hard to ignore the lovesick gaze Camilo gave to the oblivious girl as he bid her goodbye that day, not to mention the speed he ran just to see her was phenomenal in Felix's opinion.
"It was so obvious, hijo. You are down bad for her, man. Now what do you want to ask your old man, eh?"
"Well it's just, how did you know that— y'know, that Mamá is the one that you'd want to spend the rest of your life with. Why her?"
"Why anyone else if she exists?" Felix replied with no hesitation. His eyes filled with overflowing admiration to Pepa, she was the sun that brightens up his entire day— no, life. They see each other every single day, yet Felix could not help but fall in love with her over and over again. He couldn't believe that so many years had passed as it felt like it was merely yesterday that he and Pepa were married, amidst the hurricane and rain, it was the best day of his life.
Why anyone else if she exists?
Why must he find something else when everything he needs is already right in front of him? Love is such a finicky thing, Camilo concludes, it's unfamiliarity was terrifying yet he couldn't get enough of it. It was euphoric.
This is a bad idea. He thought, his eyes stared at front door of his friend's home. He doesn't have a plan, his legs just simply followed what his heart truly desires deep in inside. Her. It's been weeks since he last saw her, and he felt so deprived of her existence. I guess Camilo Madrigal is an insatiable being, he just couldn't get enough of her.
"Camilo?"
Ah.
He blinked, he didn't even notice the that door had opened. He was standing there for god knows how long that it was kind of concerning for the girl, who was peeking through the curtains every few minutes waiting for Camilo to actually knock on the door, or perhaps he was used to Casita opening the door for them that he's not used to normal doors anymore. Either way, she's going to open the door for him; he looks pathetic just standing there like an abandoned puppy anyways.
"Holá cariño! I just wanted to know if- if you wanna hang out today?"
He mentally cursed himself for stuttering, he wanted to be smooth, dang it! But the girl didn't seem to mind as she let him in to her humble abode.
"Let's come to my mother's garden, I was painting there earlier."
Like hell as if she's going to let him come to her room, all her stockpiled art of him was in there!
Her mother's garden was filled with a menagerie of plants and flowers, arranged beautifully as if to convey hidden meaning, or perhaps her mother was just borderline obsessed with plants. It can be either of the two.
"I was kind of hoping that one of the magical Madrigals would miraculously come and visit me."
Speed walking to her painting, she took the canvas from the easel it was formerly resting upon and gave it to Camilo. Once again he was at awe at her work, it was a painting of Camilo's parents in a field of sunflowers, with his mother even holding a few. Their faces filled with mirth as a beautiful rainbow formed above his mother's head. As he was enamored by the painting, his eyes caught sight of a little message on the bottom corner of the canvas,
'May your hearts be filled with mirth and love, just like these flowers that bloom on this sunny field.' - With love, (Y/N).
His parents would be elated to see this, he could imagine the utter joy on his mother's face when she sees this. It'd be a wonderful sunny day for a few days when they see this painting she made, Camilo would also like to have something similar to this hung on his bedroom wall.
"Gracias, mi Mamá would absolutely love this!"
"I'm glad, it was cloudy for a few days and I couldn't help but worry for Señora Pepa, she must've been feeling down lately and I hope this would make her feel a little better."
His heart warmed at the thought of her being worried for his beloved mother's emotional well being, his Mamá is his number one after all. Could she be anymore perfect? Camilo wonders. She's kind and patient, understanding and talented, and so much more! At this point Camilo feels far too inadequate to even stand beside her, more less to even try to court her.
"Then I'll go back to the Casita and give this to Mamá then, see ya!" He said in a hurry, a valiant attempt to forget about the blooming insecurity that started to grow in the pit of his stomach, and before the girl was even able to retaliate, he ran off straight out of the door with her hands slightly reaching out to his direction.
"I... I thought we were supposed to hang out today..." She muttered softly, her hand now placed on the chest as a sudden unfamiliar feeling had appeared. And this time, it was unbearable— uncomfortable. She was used to being alone in the house, and barely making friends in town, she was used to be alone, but never once had she felt lonely. Not until she met Camilo. Being with him was like the coffee she drinks every day, downright addicting— mood souring if suddenly deprived of it.
She didn't expect that loneliness was supposed to hurt.
The moment he took a single step inside the Casita, painting secured around his arms, he was greeted with an unimpressed Dolores. Her arms crossed as her eyes bore through his being, silently judging her brother. He was certain that she definitely heard the way he just not so smoothly excused himself just to run away from her.
"You left her hanging there."
I know. He said to himself, walking away from his sister, lips pressed into a thin line as he knew it's wrong to just run away from his friend so suddenly.
"Were you aware how sad you made her feel?"
That made him stop walking, his hand tightly clutched the piece of artwork on his hands. The guilt settling in within him, the ugly feeling of regret clawed its way in to his chest. He didn't mean to run away, he just feels like he isn't worth enough to be even be within her vicinity, she was just too perfect.
"I'm aware, it's just that— it's, I don't know. I don't understand why I did that, I just did, okay?"
He turned to face Dolores, face swirling with confusion— uncertainty as he spoke to her. Camilo is still a growing teen after all, still unable to fully understand what emotions he's feeling and why he feels this way.
Dolores softly sighed at the sight of her brother, walking away with his head full of confusion and thoughts lost in translation. Perhaps he needed time, perhaps he needed guidance from their parents, she's not sure, but she's certain that he needs help for whatever is on his mind right now.
No amount of mirrors would let him see the amazing things that they see in him, for the eyes and mind only focus on the bad things rather than the good.
"Mamí?"
Camilo called out to his mother as he entered her room, painting still in hand.
"Yes Camilo, hijo, what do you need?"
He held out the painting, showing his mother the beautiful artistry that the young girl had made. With a gasp, Pepa covered her mouth as she takes a good look at the painting, it was absolutely lovely and the little message on the bottom corner warmed her heart as she read it.
"(Y/N) made it for you, she said that it's been cloudy for a few days and couldn't help but worry about you. So she made this— to, uh, hopefully make you happy."
And happy did it truly made her, the sentiment made the rainbows that appear on her head shone so brightly. She had to come and thank that girl personally for the wonderful painting she did, she's hang it up on the hallway for everyone else to see. It was an amazing gift and Pepa is certain that she'll cherish it forever.
Taking it from her son's hands Pepa noticed the faint gloomy expression on Camilo's face, her mood dampened a bit at this. Did the two fight or something?
"Bebé, what's wrong?" Pepa cooed, brushing the stray hairs off of his face. Camilo looked away and sighed, the guilt of suddenly leaving his friend, and let alone make her sad, it was eating him in the inside. All because he feels like he's not enough.
"I... I don't know."
"Is it about her again?"
With a long sigh he nodded, now sitting on his mother's arm chair with a hand on his chin. Apparently it was clear as day how his mood changed when he came back, and to her mother, it was apparent that it's about that little friend of his.
"It's just that she's so... So perfect Mamí! While I'm just me... Camilo who doesn't know who or what to be in life, Camilo who can be anything but himself!"
Insecurities run deep within oneself, it festers and grow exponentially overtime until it consumes their very being. Insecurity is an ugly thing indeed, yet that is what makes humans strive to be the best versions of themselves.
"Oh, baby... I used to think like that before I married your Papí, y'know?" Pepa started, beginning to understand her eldest son's worries. She held Camilo's hand and squeezed it reassuringly as if to tell him that he's not alone in this.
"I used to think that I'm far too much to handle, that my gift is nothing but a hassle to deal with. But Feli, oh would always say otherwise— he looks at me like I'm worth all the hardship he'll encounter, he reminded me that in every storm there is a rainbow that comes right after."
She cupped Camilo's cheek, making him look at her loving gaze. It was filled reassurance and understanding, it was warm like the morning sun.
"Until now, I feel like I don't deserve to be with a man such as him. But here I am! Happily married to him for God knows how long, and I cherish every bit of it."
Love is truly a finicky thing, it comes in mysterious ways. He concluded, his eyes never leaving his mother as she spoke:
"In love, there will be confusion, but in confusion, there will always be understanding and acceptance. But of course, before you'll be able to love others you need to learn how to love yourself. I believe that's what she's been trying so hard to make you see."
Ba-Dump, Ba-Dump, Ba-Dump, the sound of his heartbeat beating in revelation. Drip, drip, drip, the sound of paint trickling down her canvas. Her heart aches with each stroke she makes, another painting of him. She is at the pinnacle of her loneliness.