Chapter 14: Shattered Glass
We decided to go back. I also told Lady Dinah not to talk about Lady Massie and Terrence's situation as much as possible. I wanted to gather information about him in secret— just like what he's been doing to me. It's just a fair game.
I went to my room. Napangiti ako nung mapagtanto na wala gaanong nagbago rito. Hindi man nila alam ang lahat tungkol sa akin, alam na alam naman nila ang paborito kong kulay.
They know nothing about me aside from my first name. They don't even know why I was wrecked at that time— why I stumbled into this place. They welcomed me without asking anything.
That's how welcoming this place is. I don't know if that's a good thing.
I walked to the cabinet. I grabbed myself a pair of comfortable nightclothes and took a quick shower. Nakabalot sa ulo ko ang towel nung lumabas ng shower room.
I found Kristan lying on my bed with his hands stretching on both sides. Bahagyang tumaas ang puting t-shirt niya sa kaniyang tiyan. His eyes were shut, but I knew he was conscious.
"Who told you that you can touch my bed with your outside clothes?" I asked him, but all I got was a frown as he pulled himself up.
Kinusot niya ang kanyang mga mata. Alam kong nakarami siyang alak sa hapag-kainan kanina, pero mukhang nag-inuman pa sila ni Terrence.
"I told you to stay away from him," I said, shaking my head. Tumayo ako para isampay ang tuwalya. Saka ako humarap kay Kristan na nanatiling nakatayo sa gilid ng kama ko. "You can say no, Kristan."
His lazy eyes focused on me. Lumapit siya sa akin para kunin ang hair brush. Pumunta siya sa likod ko para hagurin ang buhok ko. I could feel his warm breathe brushing against my nape.
"What did he tell you?" I asked again.
"How much you mean to him..." The warmth of his breath touching my skin and raspy voice echoing inside my head tingled me. "How much he waited for this moment."
I turned to him. Seryoso ang mukha niya. Kahit na natingin siya sa akin ay tila wala sa akin ang kanyang atensyon.
Ilang segundo ay napangiti siya. Iyong ngiti na hindi masaya, kung hindi panunuya. Natawa pa nga siya bago humakbang paatras.
"Your beauty is a curse," he told me.
"We are long over, Mr. Admiral. He's dead to me."
"He's alive and kicking," he smirked. "Don't you like it that way—watching all these men begging for your attention? This is what fuels you. This is what makes life to you."
That's right. I love it when men drool over me. But hearing that to him didn't seem right to me. Instead, I somehow got offended.
He stepped closer to me again. He pulled my waist closer to him. Napahawak ako sa balikat niya nung magdikit ang mga katawan namin.
"It gets frustrating sometimes, Nathalia," he whispered while looking into my eyes. "Because I know I am not in the right position to be so protective of you. You are stronger than me. Probably wiser to know what's good and not for yourself. I don't even know why you are still keeping me."
He licked his bottom lip as he looked away. He released a heavy sigh. Lumunok siya bago muling humarap sa akin.
"You don't even seem merciful, Nathalia."
I pulled him and kissed his lips. Mabilis na bumalot sa akin ang kanyang braso. Madiin, ngunit maingat ang paghalik niya sa akin. He's always been gentle to me and I've never liked gentlemen until him.
I put my hand on his chest and slightly pushed him away. Naputol ang halikan namin. Ang mga mata naman namin ngayon ang magkapalapat.
I smiled at him. "Why are you so worried, Kristan?"
He sighed. "You don't seem comfortable around him. It frustrates me that I can't do anything about it."
I held the hem of his shirt and pulled him to my bed. Pinaupo ko siya saka ako umupo sa kanyang hita at nakaharap sa kanya. Nakahawak siya sa bewang ko habang nakatingin sa akin.
I tried to get into his head, but I surprisingly failed. He's learning faster than I thought. He's becoming just a natural and original vampire— secretive and hard to read.
"He's really into you..." he whispered as he mildly caressed my cheeks with his thumbs. "And I get very well why."
I chuckled as I took off my clothes. I wasn't wearing my bra, so my naked chest was instantly exposed. I softly guided his hands to my chest. I bit my bottom lip when he squeezed them in his warm palms.
"I will get rid of him soon," I thought.
He moved his face closer to my chest, but before he could even put his lips, I pushed him down in bed. I helped him take off his clothes. I leaned myself toward him, positioning his lips near my neck.
"W-what are you doing?" he asked, electrified. I was intentionally tempting him, but he was fighting for his life. I wanted him to do it.
I brushed his silky black hair, leading him to my neck even more. I could now feel his soft lips on my skin.
"Are you sure?" he asked, hesitant.
I shut my eyes when I felt his sharp fangs penetrate the skin on my neck. It brought a different kind of sensation— heavenly and satisfying.
I could feel my eyes burning behind the curtains of my eyelids. I was caressing his hair while he was acting like a baby craving milk.
I moved my face away to look at his expression. His unsteady bloody red eyes were staring directly into me. He wasn't done yet, but I couldn't give more.
"Oops..." I pushed his head away when he tried to bite me again. "You drank enough tonight. Baka hindi ka na magising."
Hinawakan ko ang mga lumitaw na ugat sa kanyang leeg pataas sa kanyang Adam's apple. Huminto ang daliri ko sa kanyang mga labi. Ramdam ko ang mabigat niyang paghinga dahil magkadikit ang mga dibdib namin.
"You need to change your clothes now." Umalis na ako sa kanyang ibabaw saka pinulot ang damit sa kama. Damn. My hair wasn't the only wet part of me.
Nakapagbihis na ako. Naabutan kong nagbibihis pa lang si Kristan. Saka na rin siya tumayo.
"Where's Terrence?" I asked.
"I am not sure," he shrugged.
I nodded. "I'm sure he has some extra clothes for you."
His eyes narrowed at me. "What do you mean?"
I rolled my eyes. "Gusto mo bang matulog nang suot ang damit na 'yan? Hindi ka ba nanlalagkit? Do you want a dress instead?"
"No." He shook his head.
I laughed. "I have some spare dress for you."
He glared at me. "Hindi iyon ang tinutukoy ko."
Inayos ko ang nagusot kong kama habang naghihintay sa sasabihin niya. I need to look for Terrence after this. We have some discussions to do.
"What do you mean when you said..." he paused for a moment. "That you will get rid of him?"
Natigilan ako at napaayos ng tayo. Kumunot ang noo ko.
"W-what?" I asked.
He shook his head. "Nothing."
Lumabas na siya ng kwarto ko, ngunit naiwan ang mga katagang sinambit niya. I'm sure I didn't say it out loud. I just said those words in my mind!
No. I must have said it out loud.
Naputol na lang ang pag-iisip ko nung pumasok si Lady Dinah. Nakangiting umupo siya sa kama ko. Nakapangtulog na rin siya gaya ko.
"Can I sleep with you?" she asked.
"Ako ba talaga ang gusto mong makatabing matulog?" biro ko.
Her eyes widened. "Can I sleep with him?"
I shook my head. Hindi pa ako nakaka-recover sa nabalitaan kong may namagitan kina Terrence at Lady Massie. Ayokong dagdagan pa nila ito.
This is a good thing. I want to know more about what happened between Terrence and Lady Massie. Si Lady Dinah ang makakasagot sa lahat ng katanungan ko.
"Hey..." I tapped Lady Dinah's shoulder. "I will get us some wine. Do you want some bread?"
"Sure. I will get my book. Gusto mo rin bang magbasa?"
I just nodded.
Sabay kaming lumabas ng kwarto ko. Pumanhik siya sa kanyang kwarto at ako naman ay dumiretso sa kusina. Wala na rito si Lady Tania na malamang ay nagpapahinga na 'yon.
I grabbed two wines and two glasses. I roamed my eyes around, looking for some bread. Napansin kong nakaawang nang bahagya ang pinto papunta sa likod.
I was just planning to lock the door, but I found myself leading to the backyard— walking in the peanut grass barefoot, roving my eyes around and looking for something I wasn't sure of.
The wind was stronger at night. It felt so relaxing walking in the grasses while the wind gushed my hair back. I stood still and shut my eyes.
I'm sorry...
This is one of the reasons why coming back to this place isn't good for me. Whether I liked it or not, my mind would bring me back to that time.
I was lost when I found this place. I wasn't fully healed when I left, but then I realized that no time could fully heal me.
I opened my eyes, and I saw a figure of someone standing a few meters away from me. He's been watching me all this time.
"A penny for your thoughts," he said.
I stood still, staring at him. My fists were tightly clenched as I watched him close the distance between us. He tried to touch my arms, but he stopped halfway.
"Why do you look so sad?" he asked.
"Why are you still here?"
He slid his hands inside the pocket of his pants. He looked up at the dark sky. This place was so cold that I could see the smoke coming out of his lips.
"I just loved you." He looked at me again.
"I trusted you."
"Kristan is too young and naïve for you, I'm afraid. You are..." He sneered. "Feisty, charismatic, bold, and dangerous. Only a few vampires could handle you."
"I'm pretty sure you are not one of them."
He laughed. "Did I fail to prove myself to you?"
I looked straight into his eyes. There's nothing I feel but hatred toward him. All the love I once showed to him turned into nothing but regret.
He's just one of the few reasons why I hate my past life.
I sighed. "Wala ka nang mapapala sa akin, Terrence. We are long over. You are nothing but a nasty part of my past."
"That's why I came back." He sounded so confident.
I chuckled in disbelief. "I'm afraid you came back at the wrong time, Mr. Maniago. Marami ng nagbago. It's been a long time after all."
"Why? Because of him?"
Natigilan ako. May diin ang kanyang mga salita at maging ang kanyang tingin sa akin ay dumilim. Maybe I hit him right this time.
"Nagugustuhan mo na ba si Kristan?"
I laughed scornfully. "Do you even hear yourself, Terrence? You question why I couldn't accept you anymore? After you took everything from me in the name of your fucking obnoxious love?"
"I would lose you whatever I do at that time!"
"You fucking lost me when you chose to believe in your delusional mind!" I clenched my fists when all the memories started to flood my mind. "I even begged you at that time. I even knelt!"
"You begged just to save them! Not because you loved me!"
"But that was all before..." I sighed.
Nginitian ko siya sa unang pagkakataon.
"Unfortunately, I can protect myself now. Hindi mo na ako makikitang nakaluhod sa harapan mo habang nagmamakaawa."
Nginitian niya rin ako. "Let's see..."
"You see, Terrence." Suminghap ako ng hangin. "You taught me a lot of things. You shaped me into the person I am today. Now. I can finally use them against you."
That's when I turned my back and walked away.
Mabigat ang mga paghakbang ko pabalik. Bago ako tuluyang pumasok sa loob ay kinalma ko muna ang sarili. Wala na ang alak at mga baso sa lamesa na dapat ay dadalhin ko sa kwarto para pagsaluhan namin ni Lady Dinah.
Dumiretso na ako sa kwarto ko. Naabutan kong nakasandal sa ulunan ng kama si Lady Dinah, nagbabasa ng libro habang umiinom ng alak.
Nagsalin ako ng alak sa baso saka diretsong nilagok 'yon. Naramdaman kong nakatingin sa akin si Lady Dinah.
"First confrontation, I guess?" she mentioned.
She knew.
I shrugged my shoulders. Kinuha ko ang librong nakapatong sa gilid ng alak saka ako tumabi kay Lady Dinah.
"It's cold tonight," she whispered. Kinuha niya ang blanket saka binalot 'yon sa aming mga binti. "Masarap sanang matulog nang may kayakap."
"Masarap pero hindi kailangan."
Inumpisahan ko nang basahin ang libro. I'm not really a fan of romance, but I found myself flipping the pages of the book. I cried, muttered a curse, smiled, laughed, and cried again.
I didn't even notice the time. Pagkatingin ko kay Lady Dinah ay bagsak na siya sa kama. Nakapatong pa sa kanyang dibdib ang librong binabasa. Kinuha ko ang libro saka pinatong sa side table. Tinaas ko hanggang dibdib niya ang blanket.
Napatingin ako sa bintanang natatakpan ng kurtina. Sumilip ako roon. Mag-uumaga na rin pala. Nakaramdam ako ng pagkauhaw kaya lumabas ako ng kwarto.
I heard noises from the kitchen. Naabutan kong natatawanan sina Lady Tania at Kristan. Nakasuot pa ng apron si Kristan.
"Good Morning, My Gorgeous Nathalia!" nakangiting bati ni Lady Tania na siyang unang nakapansin sa akin.
Napalingon naman sa akin si Kristan. Basa ang harapan ng kanyang buhok. "Hey. Good morning. How's your sleep?"
"Good morning." I sat on the chair and intertwined my fingers on the top of the table. "What are you cooking?"
"Potato soup. This gentleman asked me if I could teach him the process." Kumuha nang kaunting sabaw sa sandok si Lady Tania saka lumapit sa akin. "Here. Have a taste."
I tasted the soup. I smiled. "It's good!"
Kristan looked so proud of learning another recipe. I know he's good at not just cooking but also presenting it. He makes the food not just delicious but also drooling in the eyes.
Pinaghain na nila ako. I was enjoying the soup when Terrence came in. Bumati siya sa amin. I just smiled and nodded at him. He sat beside me. I didn't mind.
"Kristan prepared this," pagmamayabang pa ni Lady Tania nung bigyan niya ng mangkok ng sabaw si Terrence.
"Looks good!" he even praised it.
"Where did you sleep last night?" Kristan asked.
Natigilan ako sa paghigop ng sabaw. Bumaling ako kay Terrence na hindi kumibo. Nakangiting humigop lang siya ng sabaw.
"Terrence barely sleeps," Lady Tania mentioned as she poured us some wine.
Sumunod na pumasok ay si Lady Massie. Bumati rin siya sa amin. Pinagyabang din ni Lady Tania ang luto ni Kristan. Napansin kong tila naiilang siya kay Terrence.
I sipped on my wine while observing them. There was an awkward smile on Lady Massie's lips. Terrence, on the other hand, was smirking like he knew something.
"How's your sleep, Nathalia?" Lady Massie diverted her gaze at me. "Where's Lady Dinah?"
"Good." I smiled. "Lady Dinah is still asleep."
"Hmm. Milady..." Terrence called Lady Massie's attention, but he got not just hers. "I think I forgot my shirt in your room."
Humigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa wine glass. Sumagi na rin sa isipan ko ito, pero mukhang gustong ipamukha ni Terrence.
"I-I put it on the laundry," nahihiyang sagot ni Lady Massie.
"You slept together?" Kristan asked.
"Yes," Terrence proudly answered. Nakangising ngumisi pa siya bago humigop ng sabaw. "I was really cold last night."
I looked at Kristan. I caught him staring back at me. He looked away. Tinulungan na lang niya si Lady Tania sa paghuhugas ng mga kasangkapan.
"No, please," I heard Lady Massie whisper.
I pretended to be busy sipping on my wine while silently listening to them. They were arguing about something I had no idea.
"You got mad at me when we kept it secret," Terrence whispered to her. "I think I am really sure now, Lady Massie."
"R-really?"
From my peripheral vision, I saw Terrence held her hand. Napangiti naman si Lady Massie. Sa sobrang pagmamasid ko sa kanila ay hindi ko napansin na wala na palang laman ang alak na iniinom ko. Kinuha ko ang bote ng alak saka nagsalin sa baso ko.
"Excuse me. I have an important announcement," Terrence started. He got everyone's attention. "Lady Massie and I are together... again."
The bottle of wine slipped out of my hand.
Just after the glass shattered into pieces came the deafening silence.