Hey guys, it's been such a long time.
Hope you're all doing well.
I just came on here to...rant basically-
Ok, I dunno if this even counts as ranting...more passionate speech? Irdk.
Anyways, have you ever met a person whom you haven't seen in ages, or find them on social media or something...and they've really had a glow-up? Or are doing really well in life apparently?
Meanwhile, feels like you've been stuck in the same rut for generations-
So jarring.
I mean, ik more time it's an illusion, but it still feels really frustrating and makes you still feel stupid.
There's me, who's looked exactly the same for the past what, 5 years?
It feels like I've done literally 0 with my life like nothing's even changed.
People travel to different countries, start businesses, etc.
Now, no hate, obviously. Make dua for them etc.
But like sometimes I wonder what happened??
I've come out of a 2-year pandemic and it feels like I have literally nothing to show for it.
And this happens every time I meet someone.
Usually, I take to google docs and furiously bash out a new life plan (I have like, 5 'TO PROVE I'M SUCCEEDING' docs with variations of the same thing (my google archives are a really fun place to be I swear-)
Or I take to the darkness of my room and write poetry.
Or have this whim of getting a book deal and immediately start writing a new book.
It's an endless, and exhausting cycle. And it really needs to stop.
But sometimes you just feel so useless nghhhh-
Like this girl from my old school wrote and published a book, and she was on the radio in her country-
And I'm so happy for her, but she's younger than me so it kind of feels shameful and embarrassing.
Also, it's probably really uncool to confess all of this but I'm just feeling 'whatever' at this point.
(I'm literally writing everything that comes into my head rn)
And I know people be like 'GET UP AND DO SOMETHING THEN' l or as Molly Mae would say
'WE ALL GOT THE SAME 24 HOURS'
I HAVE but nothing ever seems to work.
It's just so frustrating and idek how to break the toxic pattern-
Ok, I'm done.
~Mae
Just being relatable