Y/N's POV:
I couldn't believe the things I was witnessing.
Jungkook, big, tall, and intimidating was before me actually acting a fool and letting loose. He was being silly and
dancing with me, ignoring everyone else around him.
This was so not like him, but I loved that he actually was showing me this side of him.
He trusted me.
I felt overwhelmed by the joy and happiness that was filling up my chest. I felt so overjoyed that I felt as if I was going to burst. With Jungkook here and actually enjoying himself with me it actually felt like a real date. A true date.
A real marriage.
I watched him as more music continued to play, all upbeat and making m want to keep moving. With his challenge presented after his lawn mower, I couldn't help but go with it. I quickly thought of one and acted as if I was pushing a grocery cart at the store, and grabbing items off the shelf and then putting them in my cart.
That's when it heard it.
A new sound.
One that I had never heard before and I never wanted to stop hearing.
Jungkook threw his head back and laughed. A real, big, full laugh.
The love that arose in my heart made it hard for me to figure out what to do. I was stunned and wanted to smile, yet I wanted to cry, but I also wanted to do something to make him do it again. Such mixed emotions was so powerful I knew I had officially lost my heart to this man.
The laugh slowly died down, but the biggest smile I had seen was still planted on his face. His once distant brown eyes were now a warm brown sky and welcoming. Jungkook reached out and wrapped his arms around my waist, giving me butterflies.
"Come here my crazy woman."
His strong body pulled me against him and I reacted by throwing my arms up and around his neck as much as I could.
It was here that we both just moved together with the music.
A new song came on. It was a bit slower, so we followed suit.
"Remind me not to have you give me dancing lessons."
his deep voice lightheartedly told me. I gasped lightly back in return.
It is harder when you love beyond belief.
Jungkook gave me a soft look of adoration.
"We should go visit your mom though. I would like to thankher for giving birth to an amazing woman."
But I'm a fool to let you go I couldn't help but allow my eyes to water a bit. The words taking my breath away for a moment and speechless. Was he serious?
"If you are okay with that, of course."
So this is for you my love . I smiled at him and nodded and I finally found my voice again.
"I would like that. A lot."
We will never, we will never have a change of mind.
This man was different from any other I had ever met. This man was the real deal. What I needed.
We belong together.
A sudden flash went off right next to us and it both caused us to turn our heads towards the bartender who had just taken out picture.
He pulled his camera down and smiled brightly.
"Mind if I get another shot of you two lovebirds?" he asked.
Jungkook looked to me to make sure I was alright with it. I nodded. We both turned and wrapped an arm around each other, looking at the camera.
A flash went off.
We will never, we will never be the weary kind.
The bartender had taken our picture, smiling brightly and allowed us to go back to what we were doing.
It was nice that reporters weren't pestering us as much as I thought they would be. With this whole 'Mysterious Marriage' they kept posting about, it seemed that already after being in the public eyes tonight, we had proven something to them.
We belong together.
☼︎☼︎☼︎☼︎☼︎☼︎
The dinner had gone another hour or so. We had danced for only a little while longer and then went over and had another drink. We enjoyed some desert and also laughed together about the looks we were getting still from Jiyeon and Namjoon.
We were finally over it.
Then, just as everyone else who went to the dinner party, we made our way to our room that we were staying in for the night. Yes, that's right.
We were staying here at the hotel.
It was late and didn't feel like driving back, plus it was what everyone did after the party. Jungkook's treat. And I was a bit excited to be staying in the pent house suite on the top floor. Jungkook of course saved that one for us.
We walked together to the check in, got our key, then made our way to the elevator. Of course ours only went to the top floor with a special key. Jungkook put it in as if it was a natural thing but I was a mess inside.
This was all so exciting!
I mean, how often do you get to go to that secret room on the top floor!? Never! Ha!
Luckily we were the only ones in the elevator and so we got to ride in privacy. The metal box that held us closed the doors and began to lift us up. Jungkook and I both just laid against the back wall of the container and relaxed.
"This is amazing." I sighed in content.
"You think so?" he asked me.
I looked up at him and smiled lazily. "Of course. This has been the best night of my life." I blushed as I found his distinct brown eyes watching me with a look of interest.
I cleared my throat. "Thank you."
"It's not over yet."
My cheeks got even redder.
Once the elevator finally got to the very top of the hotel the doors dinged open and Jungkook led me to the room door. I swallowed hard and watched as he opened the door and allowed me to go in first.
I did and as soon as he flipped on the switch to the lights, I gasped.
Okay, so besides the room being gigantic that's not the first thing that caught my eyes. As we walked in there was a detailed, antique round table and in the middle of it held a large bouquet of wild flowers.
I slowly walked up to it and reached out to touch some of the petals of the flowers. Feeling the silky texture of it between my fingers I then leaned down and put my face into the bouquet to smell them.
"Do you like them?" Jungkook's voice brought me back to reality and I felt my eyes water again.
"You got these for me?" I asked, still surprised and delighted.
"Yes." I heard his voice much closer than before.
"I love them." I turned around and froze as I saw Jungkook mere inches from me. His towering solid body was daunting yet exciting. His hand reached out and gently cupped my cheek and those damn brown intense eyes of his bore into my soul. I felt as if I couldn't breathe. My heart was beating a hundred times per minute, and I wanted nothing more than for him to kiss me.
"Jungkook-"
As if reading my mind, Jungkook leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. I couldn't deny my desires as I pressed my lips back against his own.
The kisses a bit needy, but yet still gentle. I ran my hands up and wrapped them around his neck, threading my fingers into his hair.
Both of his hands traveled down and I could feel them slip under the bottom of my dress and graze the bare skin of my thighs. I shivered and gasped as his hands grasped under my legs and lifted me up so that I was now sitting on top of the table with the flowers.
As his kisses grew more hungry I felt myself slipping. His touch against my skin was like fire sending sparks to travel throughout my body. I wanted this. I wanted him.
Could I really do this?
Could I really give all of me to him? I knew he already had my heart but was I willing to give him my soul?
Fear and doubt started to once again fill my head and as much as I didn't want to stop this, I reached down to his chest and gently pushed back. Breaking the kiss we both took a couple deep breaths.
"Y/N?" Jungkook's husky voice questioned.
"Oh Jungkook."
I felt the tears threatening again. Just the hurtful look he was giving me was more than enough to crush my heart.
"Should we really be doing this? Things won't be the same-"
"Damn it Lee!"
Jungkook's voice boomed, silencing me instantly. His expression darkened yet his eyes revealed his hurt and desire. Jungkook rested his large arms on either side of me on the table, still entrapping me.
"Stop trying to run from me! I can't keep playing this game!"
He took a deep breath once again to try and calm himself. I still sat in awe at how he was reacting.
"You keep saying that things won't be the same, I get that."
His expression finally softened as he leaned his face closer to mine.
"But I... I want things to be different."
What?
"What do you mean?"
I whispered still breathless. Did he really mean it!? And did that mean that he felt the same way I did?! Was it real this time!?
No. I couldn't assume. I couldn't do that to myself ever again.
"I want you, Y/N. I know this whole situation is all fucked up, but right now... with you... I want this."
His hands came up and gently cupped my cheeks again caressing them softly.
"Oh Jungkook." I felt a tear slide down my cheek. His thumb was there in a mere second to wipe it away, followed by his lips yet again. I didn't want to refuse him. I wanted this just as much as he said he did, maybe even more. Screw it.
I grabbed Jungkook around the waist and pulled him even more between my legs and against me. I kissed him deeply, hearing him release a low growl. Oh god, I was instantly turned on. Both of our hands began to explore each other as our kisses became deeper and more passionate.
I gasped as I felt Jungkook shift and his arms slid under my legs and behind my back and he lifted me bridal style. The way his strong arms held me with ease made me feel tiny and protected. With swift movements he carried me through the large condo like suite and into the large master bedroom.
It was there that we explored each other's souls and made love for the first time.
☼︎☼︎☼︎☼︎☼︎
It was still late, but we had yet to fall asleep yet. Jungkook was on his back with his eyes closed, with me laying on my side against him. My head rested on his chest and my arm thrown over him. His own arm was under me and wrapped around my waist, tracing the lines of my ribs. We had a bit of the blanket covering us as we laid in silence.
I had never felt so amazing in my entire life.
Every second we had spent making love was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. And now I was still floating on cloud nine as I was wrapped in his embrace.
"I had a brother." Jungkook's deep voice rumbled in his chest under my ear. I raised a brow, confused that he would bring up something like that right now. Then I realized what he said.
Had.
"What happened to him?" I asked in a soft tone. I tightened my embrace on him, encouraging him to continue. I could feel his body tense up beneath me as he went silent. I didn't push anymore, but waited for him to say something.
"I was fourteen and he was eight." I couldn't mistake the bitterness and regret that filled his voice as he spoke.
"My father had a tendency to throw a few punches when he was drunk. Which was all the time. I can't remember a time that he was fully sober."
Oh my.
"I was supposed to stay home with my brother, Jungsan, Jeon Jungsan, while my father slept off his hangover one morning. My mother was already dead at the time, and it was up to me to take care of him. Jungsan had fallen asleep as well and I felt so trapped inside that small house that I needed to get out. I went to a small pond and threw some rocks out there. When I returned..."
Jungkook's voice started to shake a bit. I could feel his breathing increase. I slowly lifted myself up so that I could see his face. His jaw was tight, his eyes open and focused on the ceiling.
"What happened, Jungkook?" I asked again. He was so close, I felt as if he needed to say this, that this wasn't something that he had ever spoken before.
"The house was on fire."
He clenched his jaw. "I wasn't even gone for a half an hour! I swear I wasn't! Yet the whole damn house was ablaze!"
More shakiness.
"I-I tried breaking a window to save my brother. An sudden explosion went off, from the gas pipes or something. I... I was blown back..."
I watched his darkened face harden even more as he reached up with his free hand and gently trace the scar on his jaw. It finally made sense.
"You blame yourself."
"It was my fault."
he finally turned his head to look at me.
"I was supposed to be watching Jungsan. Had I been responsible and done what I was supposed to do, I would have been able to see that my father's cigarette had fallen out of his damn hand and Jungsan would still be alive today!"
"It's not your fault."
"I killed him!" Jungkook roared and sat up. I came to do the same, but felt myself having to tell him a dark secret of my own. Maybe this way he would understand.
"You didn't kill him..." I whispered.
Taking a deep breath I reached out and took his hand.
"Just like it wasn't my fault... for almost getting raped."
That silenced him.
I felt the ugliness of it all come flowing back and I started to feel sick to my stomach. I had never wanted to speak of this again.
Actually, I had never spoken a word of it to anyone. It was the dark secret that I had kept to myself all these years. No one would have believed me anyways back then.
"Y/N..." Jungkook's demeanor changed.
He still held the burden of his scars on his shoulders, but his expression was more concerned for me. That was the
sweet man I knew.
"Who... who touched you?"
I shivered and felt dread. The black hole of my soul was opening up. I didn't want to say anymore. But would he have continued to blame himself and refused to see my point if I hadn't?
"It was back in high school."
I started with, trying to keep calm even though I felt anything but.
"I had a crush on this jock. He was big and tall and cocky. I wasn't very popluar of course, being poor and all. I... I got invited out of the blue to go to a party. My friend at the
time came with me, but it wasn't long before she was drunk and hanging on some guy. Another guy there tried coming on to me and I couldn't fight him off, and of course, the jock came to my rescue."
I didn't want to finish. But for Jungkook's sake, I did.
"I was so happy. It was the first time I had felt good about myself in so long. Life at home was bad at the time and I found myself drawn to him. But it was short lived when he took me to the back and tried to have sex with me. I refused of course, and so he took it upon himself to use his strength against me and take my innocence almost away from me, until his brother came and rescued me"
The sudden touch of Jungkook's hand against my cheek made me realize that I had started to cry. I focused on his warm eyes.
"I blamed myself for that whole situation for years, Jungkook. I spent so much time hating myself, telling myself I shouldn't have been such a flirt... or been such a slut. I should have worn something more decent to keep him from being tempted... should have been stronger..."
"There wasn't anyway for you to fight him, Lee."
I sniffed.
"Just like there wasn't anyway for you know how that the fire was going to happen."
We both didn't speak.
It was just too much for both of us. Yet, the air around us was finally open and I felt as if I could actually breathe a bit easier.
"You don't hate me?" He asked.
I chuckled with a sob. What was with this man!? Did he really not understand how I felt?!
"No Jungkook.. never."
I reached out and took his face in my hands and planted a kiss to his lips.
"You don't see me any different either, do you?"
"You're still my sweet Y/N."
My god, I was beyond screwed.