Once at Austin's house Mac seems to let whatever vigilance he has holding go, his eyes grow sleepy and he leans heavily into Holi as she walks up Austin's front steps with him. She takes him straight to the spare room she had last weekend and helps him climb into bed while Austin lays a still sleeping Bell next to him.
It's been a long week and an even longer day and Holi just want's a moment to breathe so she climbs into the bed and cuddles both her siblings till she is sure they are fully asleep. While lying on the bed she notices that the mattress is different, it's much firmer than it felt last weekend...strange.
After checking again that Mac and Bell are fine she slips out of bed and goes looking for Austin. She suspects he has a string of questions for her and she is going to have to answer them, the look on his face when he left her in the room with her siblings suggested he was not prepared to play any games with her.
She finds him in the kitchen sipping on what smells like tea, he is leaning against the counter and his long legs are crossed over at the ankle. He is staring off into space and Holi knows the thoughts running through his mind are about her.
His eyes dart to her when he hears her shuffle a little by her pillar. He lets his eyes roam slowly over her body and she can see his face grows dark at his assessment of her.
"Who did this to you Holi?"
His tone is tender, but she can see his jaw clench and she knows he is holding onto his anger by a thread. She wants to answer him, but the lump in her throat is so big she does not trust herself to get any words out. So she shakes her head and blinks the tears away. She can't answer.
"You have barely any clothes on."
She nods.
"You have a bruise on your chest."
"Yes."
"And a bruise on your side."
"Yes."
He pushes himself off the kitchen counter and places his tea down then walks slowly and carefully over to Holi as if she was a scared baby deer.
"Your lip and your cheek..."
"I know Austin."
When he finally gets to her, he bends down so he is at eye level with her. He looks at her like he is searching for something, if Holi knew what he was searching for she would give it to him but she doesn't.
"Let me look after you...Please."
Holi nods and then stops trying to blink away the tears. Austin takes a moment to watch the first few tears trickle down her cheek then stands up and gently takes her hand and leads her down to his bedroom.
He leads her through his bedroom and into his en-suite bathroom that is bigger than the apartment Holi once stayed in with her parents. He holds his hands out like he wants to pick her up.
"May I?"
She nods and he then hooks his hands under her shoulders and lifts her like it's nothing, as if she weighed no more than a feather. He places her gently on the sink cabinet. Then he points to her cheek and lip.
"May I?"
She nods again and he gently runs his fingers over her swollen cheek and pushes gently on her cheekbone, he nods and moves his hand to her lip and carefully inspects that too. He wets a facecloth and gently removes any excess blood, inspects it again then nods and removes his hand. Then he points to the bruise on her chest.
"May I?"
She nods again and he bends down to inspect the bruise, he runs his fingers lightly over it then pushes down on the bones lightly. She flinches a bit and he immediately removes the gentle presser he had exerted, darting his eyes up to her. He retracts his hand and then looks at the nasty bruise on her side and opens his mouth. But before he can ask she lifts her arm and turns her body slightly in an indication that he can go ahead and inspect it.
He leans down and looks at the bruise carefully. It's her worse and most painful injury. What was only a slight bruise when she climbed into his car is now a dark black and red bruise covering her whole side. He runs his fingers over the bruise lightly and stops on the rib she is sure is cracked and then he pushes down gently.
The simple push from him sends a shot of pain down her whole body and she can't stop the yelp she releases at the pain. He draws his hand back instantly and stands up.
"Your rib is cracked."
Holi nods.
"I want you to see a doctor."
"No."
"Holiday."
"You asked to look after me. Don't hand me over to someone else. I will not go."
Austin watches her carefully for a moment then nods. He walks out of the bathroom and comes back a few moments later with a t-shirt and shorts. He places them down on the cabinet next to her. He turns on the shower and the steam from the hot water starts to soothe her before she even moves. He then helps her down from the cabinet.
"Shower, change into these clothes," he says with her still his arms. She feels torn, she wants to shower, to let the hot water soak into her skin and wash away her week. but she does not want Austin to remove his hands from her body, she nods but leans into him. He too stays with his hands on her for a beat longer than needed then steps back.
She wants to cry at the loss she feels. It makes her feel empty and hollow.
"When you are done, come find me...I will be in the kitchen."
With that, he leaves her be. She peels off her tiny shorts and dirty tank top then steps into the shower. It's hot and it burns her skin, it feels good and she can see the dirt and grime from the past week wash down the drain. She scrubs her whole body till it feels raw and sensitive then she turns the shower off and gets out.
She dries herself with one of the towels Austin had left out with the clothing then slips the t-shirt on, it's really big and she looks like she is swimming in it. The sleeves reach past her elbows and the hem of the shirt sits almost at her knees. She does not bother with the shorts knowing that there is no chance that they will sit on her hips.
So she leaves them, choosing to rather go back to her room and grab a pair of underwear from her bag. Then she makes her way down to the kitchen. Austin is busy making what smells like a nasty broth on the stove and he turns to face her when she walks in.
His eyebrows shoot up a little when he sees her then he drops them quickly. The broth starts to boil over on the stove making a hissing sound so he quickly turns back to it and pulls it off the hot plate then pours it into a mug and turns back to her.
He places the mug in front of one of the kitchen island chairs and motions for her to sit. Then he picks up a tub of cream and starts unscrewing the lid.
"When I was a little boy I watched football with my dad and I would go on so much about playing the game myself that my father eventually got me all the gear I needed to practice with him at home until I was old enough to join the school team...may I?" he indicates to the area where her chest bruise is with a dollop of cream on his finger. Holi nods and he pulls her t-shirt down a little and starts rubbing the cream on her bruise softly, "my father spent all his time and energy researching what the best gear for me was. He wanted to make sure I was safe while playing such a heavy contact sport," he stops again and points to where her side bruise is. Holi puts down the mug of hot broth she was sipping and lifts the t-shirt enough to expose the now even blacker bruise. Austins bends and starts applying the cream to it, "but my mother...well, she was all about the after treatment, caring for the broken bones and big black bruises that would decorate my body after every game in my early days. She never found anything she liked so she researched and made this cream," he stands then rubs a little on her cheekbone, "it is amazing stuff, practically erases bruises overnight."
He then screws the lid back on the tub and picks up an icy gel pack placing it softly on her cheek. He picks up the mug of broth and gives it to her, "she also makes this broth and leaves packets in my freezer when she visits, I don't know what is in it...but with the way it helps heal bones, it's got to be something of a miracle. Finish it please."
There is a moment when silence fills the air and Holi can hear the water sloshing around in the pool outside. Austin stands in front of her with a soft look on his face while continuing to hold the ice pack onto her cheek as finishes the broth in the mug. She knows his eyes are trained on her but she avoids eye contact - for now.
Once she has finished the broth he takes her mug and puts it in the dishwasher and cleans away the cream. Then he comes back to her, moves so he is standing between her legs. She has to crane her head to look up at him, he is so close that she rests her chin on his diaphragm and places her hands on his hips while he carefully takes her cheeks in his hands. It's a very intimate position, but almost like he has read her mind this is the intimacy she needs to feel safe enough to answer the question she knows he is about to ask. He looks down at her, she feels mesmerized by his gaze.
"Who did this to you Holi?"
"Chuck..."
"Go on, I got you."
"Chuck is a local drug dealer. My mother's drug dealer. When my mother's drug habit was at its worst she made promises to Chuck that had him setting his sights firmly on me. I relented, cut him up a few times when he would try anything inappropriate."
She stops so she can swallow the painful lump in her throat and Austin wipes a tear that has slipped down her cheek.
"He hounded me for years. Even after my mother disappeared with her group of junkies he would come looking for me. Then once someone reported me to Child services and they came and took Mac and Bell from me."
Holi lets out a sob at the memory and Austin wipes yet more tears from her cheek.
"I had been a mess, took to the only thing I knew to numb the pain...alcohol, and weed. Chuck found me. Told me that he would look after me and help me get Mac and Bell back so I gave him what he had been hounding me for."
Holi takes a moment to breathe. She can see Austin continue to flex his jaw, he is trying with all his might to keep his anger under control.
"I stayed with him for three weeks, hoping every morning that that was the morning I would be able to get Bell and Mac back...but it was all a lie. I found out that he was the one who called Child services. I was so angry I went to confront him, found him drunk in a pub. He laughed in my face so I grabbed the man sitting next to him and kissed him."
Holi buries her face in Austin's shirt, embarrassed by her childish antics. He must think she is so pathetic. but Austin pulls her face out and makes her look at him, his eyes still soft.
"Go on."
"He flew into a rage and I ran, but he caught me. Messed me up really badly and did this," she pushes Austin away a little so she can hop off the chair then she lifts her shirt and exposes the jaguared purple scar on her upper left thigh. Austin frowns then runs his fingers over it, "is this why you kept your shorts on when you were swimming?" he asks softly. Holi nods.
"Chuck always has a knife on him and a bad temper. He drove his knife deep into my thigh Lucky for me someone called the police. They took him away and I landed in the hospital."
Holi has never been so open with anyone, choosing rather to through her word as hard as she can at anyone who even hints at trying to get close to her. She has always managed to keep her walls high but with Austin, it's just different and she can't explain it because she does not know what it is and what it means...but she wants it.
"Once I had recovered I found Mac and Bell and stole them back. Made it look like Mac ran away and took Bell with him...they are street kids so the cops don't bother registering missing children profiles for them."
Austin takes her hand and leads her to the large couch in the lounge and motions for her to sit down then throws a big warm fluffy blanket over them. Holi snuggles closer and rests her head on his chest. She can already feel her eyes grow heavy.
"You are safe here Holi...so are Mac and Bell."
"I know," Holi says absentmindedly as sleep pulls her under.
The next morning Holi wakes with her back pushed into the back of the couch, the fluffy blanket wrapped around her tightly like a cacoon, and her face pushed into Austin's chest.
She moves her head back and looks up at Austin who is still sleeping.
Her chest burns at a memory of her mother, she was about five years old and had skinned her knee while playing with some neighborhood kids. Her mother had fussed over her, cleaned it the graze, run her fingers through her hair to soothe her, and let her fall asleep against her chest, it is the only memory of her mother sober.
She never thought she would ever feel that type of tenderness again, the type of tenderness that fixes everything, even your soul. Until Austin.
She watches as his eyes flutter, his sleep breaking, and when his eyes eventually open he looks down at her, smiling when he sees her already looking at him.
Holi untangles her hand from the blanket and curls it around the nape of his neck, pulling him down and she pushes up and kisses him. For a second it feels like he is going to pull back but then his body melts into hers and he opens his mouth to let her swipe her tongue into his mouth.
The Kiss has a mind of its own, Holi feels like she has no control over it, and unlike last time it feels like neither does Austin. He snakes his hand under the blanket, runs it down her side, over the swell of her ass, down the back of her thigh then hooks his hand under her knee and hitches it up over his hip, Holi's reaction is to push into the kiss harder, her cut a little painful but she ignores it.
Austin gains some self-control and demands control of the kiss, Holi submits to him immediately. She likes that he has control and that he is in charge she has so much to keep on top of and she can not afford to lose control...except when it's with Austin, he keeps her safe and so she submits letting him take whatever he needs, safe in the belief that he will look after her just as he promised to do.
Austin slides his hand off her knee, back along her thigh then grabs her ass in his hand and kneads it softly, Holi whimpers at his kneading. She wants more, she needs more. Austin breaks the kiss, but keeps close, "fucking hell, Holi...you..." he trails off and serges forward again, kissing her and pushing her deeper into the back of the couch.
One of the couch cushions pushes down on her cracked rib and she yelps out in pain. Austin immediately pulls back with a look of worry on his face.
"Shit, I am sorry Holi did I hurt you?"
"No it was the cushion, I am fine. Come back."
Holi reaches out to bring him back to her, but Austin shakes his head and stands, "I am sorry Holi. I battle to control myself around you. I am out of line."
Holi immediately deflates, she forgot that he has a girlfriend. She needs to be more respectful of their relationship but it seems their lack of control around each other is not only one-sided. She knows if he leans down and kisses her, she would not pull back. Anger shoots down her spine so she picks a fight.
"Why were you downtown yesterday?" She suddenly throws out.
"Because Holiday, Ren phoned to say you were a no show. So I came down to look for you, I had been worried sick about you all week and then you did not show! I was worried you and the kids had been hurt," he motions to her body, "and I had been right."
Holi throws off the blanket and stands in front of Austin, he is almost double her size in both height and width and the frown on his face is rather intimidating. But Holi will challenge, she will never back down from a fight.
"I don't need you to look after me Austin. And I don't need you to look after Mac and Holi either. You spoilt them last weekend. Bell has cried herself to sleep every night this week. Once you are done with us and find something newer and shinier you will discard us and I will be left to clean up the mess that you will leave behind. Just admit it! We are nothing to you."
"You know, for a woman who hates being judged...you sure do judge a lot."
Holi can't believe what she is hearing. He is an asshole. She does not judge people, she calls it as she sees it. Rich people are dicks, they are all the same and Austin just proved her point.
"What? are you offended that I called your bluff? That I can see right past your sweet and kind act? Well, I can! You will suck us in and spit us out like old chewing gum, leaving us wasted and spent on a sidewalk."
Austin takes a step back, takes a long deep breath then looks at Holi and she can see the hurt in his eyes from her harsh cruel words.
"Is that what you really think of me?" he asks and sits back down on the couch with a defeated huff, "I was born into old money Holi, my father is a rancher up in Texas and my mother comes from an oil family. We have family holiday homes all over the world, my school holidays were never spent in the some country. I have never worried about where my next meal was coming from and my bed has always been fluffy and warm. I play football because I love it, turned out I was good at it so I could make a career out of it, but I never needed to ever work...I am a trust fund baby, money is free to me. I am not much different from those other spoilt rich kids. "
Holi can feel the anger rise in her body as he talks. Every pathetic word that is coming out of his mouth only offers to prove her point. He was spoilt and a brat.
"But there was one difference between them and myself...my parents. They are good people with good morals and a good understanding of how unfair the world is. They made sure to never let my sister and I take for granted that we were privileged, that our world was not normal and to give more than we take."
Holi can feel some of the anger within her seep away, she had judged Austin even after Ren had told her to give him a chance and let Austin show her who he was first. He pats the couch next to him and Holi falls into it. He wraps his arm around her and pulls her to his chest.
"Holi, life has been cruel to you and I do not know how you feel. The things you have experienced are things I did not even know existed. We have lived polar opposite lives and we have both chosen not to let those lives dictate who we should be. I think that makes us the same...in a fucked up kind of way."
He hooks his finger under her chin and brings her head up to look at him.
"I will not let you down, just give me the chance to prove it to you...that's all I ask."
Holi nods, not trusting her voice, and buries her head in his chest again. He is right, she wants him to be right and she wants more than anything just to make the right choices for Mac and Bell. She thinks those choices start with Austin.
Holi is just about to ask Austin about that girlfriend, she is pretty sure that is a topic they need to have a conversation about, especially since they can't seem to keep their hands off each other, but then she hears Mac and Bell's happy voices echoing down the passage.
It's Bell's birthday today. Sweet little Bell is three today. Holi lifts her head as they walk in.
"One...two," Mac sings.
"Three!" Bell shouts.
"One...two," Mac sings again.
"Three!" Bell Shouts again.
Holi starts giggling at them and she can feel Austin's chest vibrating under her as he too finds humor in their festivities. Bell jumps onto Austin's lap and Holi sits up to make space for her.
"Why are you counting to three Bell?" Austin asks with mock confusion. Bell put's her chubby little hands on his cheeks, "my birthday!" she says then starts giggling as Austin tickles her.
"what do you want for your birthday Bell?" Holi asks once she has managed to stop giggling.
"Cake!" she shouts.
"Done!" Austin shouts back.
"and, um...swimming!" she shouts.
"Done!" Mac shouts back.
"and...and...bubbles!" she shouts.
"Done!" Holi shouts back.
They all start laughing and Holi lets her walls fall, just for today. Just for today, she will be open and happy. She is going to let herself feel like she belongs here in this big fancy house with its ridiculous swimming pool and overpriced furniture. She is going to let herself believe that this could happen, that Mac and Bell will have a full meal every day and a warm cozy bed to dream in. Today they are all going to be safe and carefree.
She leans over and kisses Austin on his cheek, "thank you," she whispers and he gives her a smile and a little wink then stands up and flings Bell in the air, "one!" he shouts then catches her and flings her in the air again, "two!" Mac shouts when Austin catches her again then flings her in the air, "three!" Holi shouts and Austin catches her again. Bell's smile can blind them all.
They are all quick to change and head out to get Bell a birthday cake. Holi can't help the feeling that makes her toes tingle a little, it feels a little like a dream and she has to pinch herself to make sure it is real. Austin is driving, she is upfront in the passenger seat while Mac and Bell are in the back and they are singing and giggling. If Holi ever let herself dream of a family...this would be it.
"I noticed that the mattress on the bed is firmer than it was last weekend," she says to Austin.
"That is because I ordered a new firmer mattress, I told you that I was not prepared to see you on the floor again."
Holi wants to bite back at him for having the finer things in life at his every beck and call. To get a new mattress at the snap of his fingers is such a rich person thing to do. But she promised herself that she was going to try today so...
"Thank you Austin, that was very sweet of you to do."
Austin looks at her with a look of mock confusion and a hint of fear. Holi just rolls her eyes and smiles. Yes, this is a very domestic day and Holi can't be blamed for loving it.
They arrive at a bakery and Austin leads them all to the very back of the store. He greets a woman like she is his best friend then introduces them to her, she is the baker. She bends down in front of Bell.
"Hi, Bell. Happy Birthday. Now, you have come to my store at the most perfect time. I have run out of cakes so for you I will need to make a brand new cake. So you get to choose any type of decoration and you get to help me decorate it if you like," the baker says with a kind voice and a big smile. Bell's eyes light up and she nods, Holi knows she could not wipe the smile off Bell's face no matter what.
The baker stands up, takes Bell's hand and leads her into the kitchen then helps her onto a chair and puts a pretty pink apron on her that just happens to have 'BELL' written in pink glitter across the front, Bell's little mouth forms an 'O' in awe as she runs her little finger over the pink glitter. The baker then picks up a yellow apron and hands it to Mac.
"Mac right? This one is for you, you can help too," she says.
Mac's eyes light up and he unravels his apron and puts it on, it has 'MAC' in green glitter written across it. Bell gleefully points it out to him. Then Mac turns to show Holi, he looks so happy, they both do and it makes Holi's heart sing.
The baker opens a big folder with hundreds of different cakes. Bell points to the biggest pink everything cake with pink flowers and butterflies all over it.
"Ok, I have an idea," the baker says putting her folder away, "how about I do this big cake and you each get a small cake to decorate yourselves," she asks with a smile.
"Yes!" Bell and Mac shout in unison. So the woman gets out two smaller cakes, a selection of icing sugar, and cake decorations. Both Bell and Mac get to work decorating their cakes, they are concentrating so much that both have their little tongues hanging out of their mouths and serious looks on their faces.
Holi can feel Austin lean into her while she is watching Mac and Bell, she can't take her eyes off them, wanting to drink in every happy second they are experiencing.
"You know," she whispers, "call me paranoid, but I don't think this was an impromptu moment for the baker. Dare I say that you set this whole thing up or would that be too bold of me?"
"You are a bold one Holiday, but I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about."
Holi rolls her eyes and turns into Austin. She goes on her tipie toes and places a kiss on his cheek, "thank you, Austin," she says then turns back to Mac and Bell, today is the best birthday Bell, Mac, or Holi have ever experienced and it is all thanks to Austin.