Love used to be something I romanticized as a kid. I mean, if you watched romance movies all the time, you would too. I was woke about it in such a young age. By the age of 9, I already dreamt of having a boyfriend and I did have one. His name was Allan. We weren't intimate but I knew it was passionate with the way Allan bought me snacks. He would always go to my classroom to check up on me. Sometimes, he would sit beside me and study with me. But we were so young and it took me long to realize that it wasn't love.
Maybe a crush, or infatuation, but it wasn't love.
Love used to be such a pure thing for me. It was something I was desperate for. Maybe I was desperate for it because I didn't get the love I deserved from my first love; my dad.
Love used to be something I tried to reach and keep with my little hands and fingers. It's like the flowers I picked from gardens that I'd take home yet still die. It's like the mesmerizing times I see how rainbows can form in the sky, and even water. It's like a beautiful portrait hanging on your wall that you frequently look at.
I now know that love isn't just that.
It's like a new business product being tried and tested in factories. It would go on trials and errors because it's not always successful. It's like how the flowers I took home died because it's not always forever. It's like the Pacific Ocean. It's unbelievably wide and deep. And once you jump through and let yourself drown, it would be so hard to go back and save yourself. Sometimes, those who jump and drown doesn't make it.