co-translator : zosik39
editor : wriounts
CHAPTER 11
BETWEEN US, SOMETHING HAS CHANGED
MARTIN TALK
I was so distraught that when I drove back to Nong Man's condo, it turned out that the owner of the room was not there. The question is, where did he go? I called and he didn't pick up. Line did not answer. And I don't have any way of contacting anyone around him. Right now, there was nothing i could do but sit and look up at the door with hope.
On one hand, I thought that the nong might come back, but couldn't enter the room because his keycard is with me. Do you know what I do? I left myself sitting in front of the door. in case he comes back so that he can open the door for me from sitting to sleeping. My back was so close to the door that if he touched the door lightly, I felt it. I listened to the sound of footsteps all night, waiting for him to come back. But there isn't any. Everything was silent, reinforcing that I was alone. no one come back here.
When going out to sit and wait in front of the room outside, I'm afraid that when the nong comes out of the elevator, he sees me and he'll go back. He probably doesn't want to see my face right now. But if I lay waiting at the door At least he didn't know that there was me waiting, so he might come in.
8:00 a.m.
But.. I waited until the next day, the nong still hasn't returned and still unable to contact me. Well, today is Saturday morning. I don't have to go to work.
I went to the bathroom to wash my face and wash my eyes. Before I realized that I accidentally squeezed the toothpaste, my heart suddenly twitched. How do i squeeze it? when the owner did not return I think I'd better go back to my place. Staying in the condo, he must continue to be very distracted.
Then I took myself home. Clothes, belongings, are still at the condo. Only had a mobile phone with me and my personal money. I lay down on my bed with a tingling sensation in my left chest. In my head I only thought about last night.
'Can we.. have a relationship? Let's get together as a serious boyfriends.'
Don't just curse me for not responding to this question. Well, I was shocked. Very shocked. I've had two lovers my whole life and I'm the one who asked her to be my girlfriend. When I was asked to be the boyfriend last night, I didn't act right. Besides, I don't believe that Nong Man really intended to say it, I think he was drunk, his muffled voice was almost incomprehensible.
And I don't know if I'm good enough to date him or not. Jomyut is such a complex person that I don't know which one is real and which one is playing. He always kept telling me not to take sex too seriously, accidentally one day I might get attached to him. People who listen to me think that it's ridiculous. But I'm serious. Every time I have sex, I do it from the heart. But I don't know if he will accept it from my heart or not.
In the past for me it was clear. I am happy to be with Jomyut. But one day suddenly I'm going to be promoted to a serious boyfriend, for me I'm afraid of getting into trouble later. I'm afraid that my nong will be disappointed if I'm not good enough. I was afraid that my internship would be in trouble because everyone was very considerate of me as a boyfriend Khun Jom. I was afraid that his family, including my family, wouldn't be able to accept it.
I mean, when I call you my boyfriend, I'm serious too. I'm sure I'm dating But now I'm still not sure...
Not that my nong is upset. I'm afraid it's me who isn't good enough. Can't you give me a little more time?
When I can't find a solution, the only person I want to consult with is Yacht. One is that he is my best friend. The second is that he has a male wife. And me and him are in the same position.
doo doo doo doo doo
I want to line to ask, but I'm in a hurry. I need advice now.
[Hello Phi Tin. P' Yacht is taking a shower now. Wait for him to call you back.]
Oh, are you with your wife? It wasn't much of a surprise because the two of them had been sleeping together every night. One night, I had a call to discuss something. But it was doing activities so the yacht answered the phone and cursed at me. After cursing, hang up and tell me that he will call me back. Motherfucker called back. I fell asleep after that. However Nong Tian answered the phone well. Let me ask him something.
“Nong Tian, if you are the one who asks the yacht to be your boyfriend And the yacht still hasn't responded and asked to wait a little more. What kind of person do you think a yacht is?”
[Hmm, someone asked you to be their boyfriend?]
“No, it's about the friend. He came to consult me, so I asked you. I can't think."
[ candle would be sad. The way we ask someone to be a lover is that we have already thought of what to say. Where will you gather more courage? Everyone wants the answers they want, right? If it's a candle, it's probably a numb face. I would be embarrassed. I'll have to hide from Yacht for a while.]
It's the same. Just like what the nong is doing to me.
"So can we talk as usual, candle? Can we meet face to face?"
[If it's a candle, I won't talk. It's both painful and embarrassing, brother Tin. Not accepting anything in return is refusing, isn't it?]
“No, I didn't answer because I was confused. If I don't answer, it's not that I don't like it, but I am not sure that I can be a good boyfriend to him. I just want a little more time."
[Is it a girl or a man, Tin?]
"man"
[If it's a male-male couple, maybe the mood is more intense than women's. Women will be sensitive and sad, but men will combine their desire to win. When a man loses his face, it feels bad. His dignity hangs on his neck]
And even more so as a person like a warlord. His dignity is actually holding his neck, what should I do? If you walk in, ask for a little more time to prove yourself if you're good enough. Boy, it's not listening to me. Don't just walk in and ask. Whether he will come to see me or not, I don't even know.
“So when will you know if you are good enough for him or not? Or when the nong flirts with the yacht. How can you be sure that he will like you back?”
I know enough of these two stories from what Yacht told me. But that's the story on my friend's side only. I didn't have a chance to ask Nong Tian. Well, Yacht is very possessive of his wife, and with a close friend like me, he rarely talks. Today is an auspicious time for him to take a bath. So I asked Nong Tian directly.
[Who do you like, Aitin?]
Ugh, ugh, reminds me of a ghost. My hope was blown away because I knew that if Yacht was there, it had to come and talk. The question that I asked that I didn't even get an answer to.
“No, someone came to consult me again.”
[You say this every time. If you hide it from me, it can't be helped. Is this someone asking you to be their boyfriend? Play too much. You won't have a wife.]
“Did you hear that from the beginning?”
[I've been in the room since the beginning, and the candle turns on the speaker so I can hear it. Who's that kid? A man, Aitin? your voice is very stressful. If it's a man, you'll have a wife as a man, right? Confused right? I passed]
My tears really flow. Yacht can't touch my spot. I'm really confused and I feel bad. I'm a very sensitive person about relationships. I don't want anyone to feel bad because of me. And I won't put myself as a burden on anyone's heart if I'm not good enough.
“You, I like him, I like him a lot, but I can't accept his feelings. Well, me and him are very different. Then I fear that I will be a burden on him. Afraid to be a bad boyfriend, afraid of not being good enough.”
[Who is "he" there?]
"Jomyuth, the son of the owner of the company I've been interning at."
[Are you at home? I'll go find you.]
"I'm not going anywhere today"
And then the line cuts off. My condition is like a stranded on an island waiting for help. It is out of the way. I don't know what to do next. I want to keep walking but I don't know which leg to take first. I wasn't brave enough to take a step forward, I was afraid of making a mistake.
12.00
And then the rescuer came to help me. He didn't come alone. Come with the whole gang! Yacht, Pure, Vivies flock with bags of food in their hands. I went out to take my friend into the house. The gang didn't say anything, just poured the food onto the plate for me. Forced me to eat after I said I hadn't eaten anything since last night.
I feel warm too. This is what my best friends do. Our group has both man like Yacht, Sour women like pure and beautiful and funny transvestites like Vivi. Even though they complained to me and forced me to eat, I was very relieved. It's like I can rely on them, no, as long as I have something and tell them, there's never anything that we can't help each other with.
After eating, drink water to relax the stomach. The yacht pulled me to his knees and talked to his friends about the root cause. With embarrassment, I tell all I could. Counting back from when I first met him until last night.
"That's it, Aitin. In order to be in a relationship with someone, you don't have to wait for perfection before dating. Going through trial and error when we are together, it becomes a different color. No one is perfect at everything. And the difference that you say I see, he can accept it. just you until You haven't done anything wrong. You're thinking too much."
Vivi opened the first way to consult. I just kept quiet and thought about it. Before Pure continues talking about what I want to know too.
“Then you don't have to wonder how well you do it. Does he look happy when he's with you? If he smiles, he plays, he's begging, he doesn't seem to hate you or anything. That is, are you good enough? Love is happiness If two people are happy in this relationship then how much better must you be? You can gradually develop yourself during the relationship. Love life has a lot to learn.”
“I'm afraid that my nong isn't serious with me. He has many choices. If one day there are people who are better than me, everything will end. What I tried to do wasted. What am I going to fight? I know I'm nothing good. I don't even know where he likes me.”
I vented a bit because I really felt that way. Maybe because someone is serious enough about this love. So I'm afraid that it will hurt a lot as well. I was dating a guy for the first time. And he's not someone I can handle. He is a person who thinks fast, acts quickly, and is impatient. I am a calm person. Slowly thinking, slowly acting. When our thoughts contradict each other, we can't find a middle ground.
For now, let me prove a little more that things will go well between us. But the nong doesn't want it. He wanted an immediate answer whether he was in a relationship or not. I'm sure. If we go well enough I personally don't care about gender. It's not wrong for men and men to love each other. Love is not measured by gender but measured by more understanding. However,this was the first time I had such a good feeling with men. So I just want more time for myself.
a week later
It was during the week that I was very depressed. Because the pending problem has not been resolved at all. Jomyut did not return to the condo and was still unable to contact him as usual. I myself have started to have the motivation to talk to Nong Man after being with myself for many days. If we meet, I will tell him that I like him. but give me some time.
I also decided to ask for some time because I think we know each other too little. It's only been over two months. I'm actually very happy. But there must be a lot of stories for us to study before starting to get serious. I want him to try and think again to see if I still deserve to be his boyfriend. Like or dislike something about me? Where do you want me to change? How can I use the time I ask to improve myself for him?
Every day I practice inside, so I don't know if my nong is in the garage or not. In addition to taking a break, I secretly ran out to see him. But there isn't any of him. The garage was closed since we had a fight. And I'm tired of waiting in a place like this for nothing better. So I have to invade!
I'm guessing that the nong has to go to the club. He wasn't going anywhere but to school and in the car. If this garage didn't open, he had to find a way to get the car. So I researched KJH Club's location and drove there right after work. It took about half an hour to arrive. Here is a three-story tenement building with four doors. Below the building, it is connected to a parking lot and a car repair place, plus it is decorated very elegantly. Above the building, there is a prominent big club nameplate with red and black alternating between them, just like the racing suit that the nong is wearing.
Wow, it looks great And there's a lot of people. I saw a foreign mechanic too. Oh, there's a Formula One car parked? absolutely beautiful As I got off the taxi, I walked slowly. I swept my eyes and looked for the person I wanted to meet but couldn't see yet.
“Excuse me, is Mr Jom here today?”
I chose to ask the boy who walked by. When I can't find it, I have to ask. And if my nong isn't here today, I think I'll go find it at home. Secretly found a little where his house is. I think if you ask around, it's not that difficult. But I thought i had to stay in the car, so he came here first.
“Why are you here?”
When the nong said, it appeared that he spoke a bit loudly, or not when the atmosphere was quiet. All of these people turned around. I looked around one by one until I saw Jom Yut. The joy made me smile. I gave a smile to nong once, but was ignored. He turned away and handed the document in hand to the person standing talking to and pretending to walk out.
Didn't come to me. He headed towards the parking lot outside. When I knew that my nong was going to run away, I ran with my whole life to get to the most luxurious car there. It was at the same time that the nong pressed the unlock button from the car key, so I was sure that this black Porsche was his car. When my nong saw me running, he ran. He was faster than when he opened the door to sit in the driver's side first. I didn't give up and rushed around to the passenger side and opened the car door before he locked the car.
After successfully bringing myself into the seat, I grabbed his hand to one side. Hold on tight enough to pull him back if he ever thinks of running away from me again.
"Go away, I don't want to see you."
“Can you listen to me first?”
“What else is there to talk about?."
He used his other hand to cover his mouth as he coughed. I only furrowed my brows with concern. Is he sick? I used the back of my hand to touch his cheek before moving to touch his forehead. But before I could even cover his palm, he brushed off my hand first. Well, he looked really hot.
“Have you taken any medicine?”
“Why did you come? Give me an answer. Now, even if you say that we're dating, I have to rethink whether I still want to be with you or not. Since I was confident that I would be in a relationship, I asked you like that. But I repented. Now, I may not be in the same mood as you."
I was hiccuped by what my nong said. Suddenly my hand was weak. I let go of the hand that held his arm down and sat down, looking down at my lap with an unspeakable feeling of angst in my heart. I didn't even think that if you don't want me, what will I do? What I prepared was to tell him how much I liked him. But...now if I say I like it And you don't want to listen and it's meaningless.
“Do you still want to be with me? Do you still want to be in a relationship?”
“If it was a week ago, I would answer this question without hesitation, Brother Tin. But now I'm completely confused.”
“You don't have to think too much. In the past, I was happy to be with you. It's not just lust, but I really want you. I do everything from my heart and take care of you from the heart. Every story between us has meaning. It's my fault that I'm not good enough to answer questions about whether I'm in a relationship or not. But I have a reason. Do you want to listen?"
“…”
He didn't answer whether he wanted to listen or not. He sat still and looked at the steering wheel, but didn't refuse to listen. So I had the opportunity to speak
“I want to be in a relationship with someone who is serious, stable and will be in a relationship for a long time. The reason I didn't answer doesn't mean I deny you. It's not that we're not dating. But I want us to get to know each other better first. I want to prove to you how serious I am. Then I want to know how serious you are with me. So...i am really good enough to be in a relationship with my nong right? I am afraid that I am not good enough?”
The nong turned and kissed my lips for a moment before taking a long sigh.
"When I ask In exchange, how many more times must I lose myself to you? How much more do I need to do to get your heart? You don't understand how difficult it is for me to accept it. Everyone understood that I was always pushing, and suddenly came to pick you up, I was ashamed enough for the people around me. One day I can make up my mind and I intend to reveal everything without being embarrassed that we are dating. I have a husband, this person. I'm sure it's you P. But when I asked to be my boyfriend, P was silent. At that time I was terrified. Like I'm not worthy enough."
I squeezed his shoulder and told him to calm down and speak slowly. There were many times when he would cough up but kept on speaking. I understand everything. You must be very shocked.
“Nong wants to make our relationship clear, right? Don't worry that you are not worthy enough. You are so valuable to me that I want to do it well. I also like you very much. I like you very very much. Can we start again? In the past, I haven't been serious enough with my nong. I want you to see that i am really serious about this love. Can you give P'Tin time for Nong Chom?"
Speaking from the heart, I'm definitely dating him. But I want to be the one who asked him to be with me on the day when I felt that I was good enough for him. I didn't want the nong to come in and ask me to be his boyfriend because he was suspicious and wanted clarity. Sometimes love can be made clearer with actions. Words are only a part.
“Let me think first. Now I'm not sure about anything.”
“I can give you time. Let's go back together Nong Chom. Brother Tin is lonely."
I begged him first. My nong hasn't been with me for several days. But this kid was more stubborn than I thought. In addition to not showing signs of being weak at all, he turned his head to look the other way. Ignoring even the corners of my pleading eyes. Sigh. He must be really angry. People have lost their minds and need some time.
“And how can I be sure that the time you ask won't be wasted? Why do I have to waste more of my life for you?”
“Time wasted but I got good love. Come back to me, it's worth it, nong."
“You made me feel distrustful of you since you were silent. I have a week to think of these beautiful words. But I asked you to be my boyfriend to think a few minutes before speaking with confidence. The weight of words is different.”
"And how can you let me answer what you want to hear even though you're not ready? Nong Chom, calm down. I don't answer if we are dating. It doesn't mean that Tin doesn't like Nong Chom. Because I like you so much that I want to make it better.”
His face landed on the steering wheel. coughing for four or five times, then sat up straight and sighed.
“I would like some time as well. Let me think first. I've never encountered a problem like this. My head hurts."
He got out of the car and I followed him down. I asked my nong if he had taken medicine and he shook his head. So I volunteered to go and buy it. Tell the nong to sit and wait for me when I come.
Now I'm in a slightly better mood that he is still open to listening. I know he is stubborn and soft-hearted. Answered to look like that. His heart was not as hard as his mouth. Let me have time to be close to take care of. Guarantee that it will not be difficult to get his smile back. Sigh, Martin's lover must be the most special person in the world, I promise.
When I thought of him as my future boyfriend, I couldn't help but look back. But the picture that I saw was that the nong was standing with his arms to support the wall on the side of the building that was a little far from the parking lot. There was no one. Then his body swayed like it was about to fall, so I stopped walking and stared.
In just a split second, his tall figure fell to the ground. His head hit a car pipe that had been exposed to the sun after the paint was finished. It's so strong that when I'm standing here I can still hear the thump.
“Nong Jommmmmmmmmmmmm!!!”
I shouted as loudly as with two legs running towards him in shock and concern. The members of the club began to gather to see. I saw crimson blood start to flow out and I calmed down. I hurriedly picked him up and turned to the club for help to urgently take him to the hospital.
You must be alright. I'll take care of you. I can understand how he felt when I was shot and what his trembling was like. I am no different now. The feeling of shock, concern, and anger all gathered together. Furious that I hadn't rushed over sooner when I first saw him look bad. I understood how much he felt for me back then.
END TALK