2 weeks later i had got back from a long shift and had changed into my pyjamas. Still giddy about the previous day
Me and Jay took a walk around Chicago.
He showed me places I'd never seen since I'm still new here
And made our time together so fun
And I was so happy about that. The feeling of being next to him made me feel like a hormonal teenager but ten times more
Like my emotions were heightened in some way
I spotted jays clothes from when I stayed over his place 2 weeks ago
I picked his clothes up out of the dryer and folded them up, making the unconscious decision to take them to him
Right now
So I got ready, changed out of my pyjamas and left the house with jays clothes
I knocked on jays door now realising how stupid this is. I mean come on
This is so-
"Kayla?" My eyes widened for some reason surprised to see Jay answer the door to his own house!
"Jay! I Uh.. gosh this is so stupid.. I brought your clothes from a few weeks ago" he looks down at the clothes in my hand
"And now that I think of it I don't know why I came all the way here to give it- I mean I could've given it to you any other time" I mumble the end, my voice getting quieter and quieter when I realise how dumb I sounded and probably looked at that second
"Thanks Kayla, and don't worry about it. Do you want to come in?" I shake my head no trying to get rid of my previous embarrassment
"Okay come on in" he says leaving no room for an argument. I sigh and walk past him, slowly walking through the house
"How was your shift?" He asks as we walk into the kitchen
"It was quiet today, you get them days sometimes and it's refreshing." he nods understanding
"What about you?"
"Mine was actually the same. It was quiet. Kinda like everyone was taking a break today" I laughed
"I'm having coffee. Do you want some?" I scrunch my nose up
"Tell me you don't like coffee?" He groans. I shake my head watching as he pours himself coffee and drinks it
"It's disgusting" his mouth opens and closes
"Wow. Wow. I have no words. So what do you drink?"
"Anything that's not coffee"
"I have soda in the fridge too, help yourself"I slowly walked over to the fridge
"So what's next on our list of things?" He asked. I furrowed my in confusion even though he couldn't see
"What list?"
"The list of things you need to do in Chicago"
"There's a list of things I need to do?"
"Yeah, you've never lived here before so I have a mental list of things I need to get you to do or try..." I looked at the soda and picked one up before turning around
"Jay" I gasp covering my chest with my hand now noticing Jay standing in front of me
"Sorry" he mumbles
"I just.. I can't stop thinking about you" I look up into his eyes
"Jay" I mutter. He doesn't let me finish what I was gonna say and presses his lips on to mine, allowing me to taste the bitter yet sweet taste of coffee on his soft lips but although I hate coffee, weirdly enough I liked the taste from him
Butterflies were dancing in my stomach still not able to process that I'm doing what I've been wanting to do since I first saw him
It wasn't a long kiss. But it told me enough to know how he was feeling
I was fucked
We pulled away and I moved my eyes from him letting them meet the floor
"Jay" I whisper trying to think of a way to get out of
"I feel so much for you Kayla, and this feeling- it's so knew to me but I know enough to know I want to be with you. Be with me Kayla" my heart bursts at his words
"There's.. things I haven't told you- that I'm not ready to tell you"
"And that's okay. I won't force you into telling me anything, you can tell me when your ready. There's no pressure. And whatever secrets you may have we will get through it together, me and you" my throat closed up at his words and I stood up on my tip toes and inclined my face closer to his capturing him in a deeper, more passionate kiss
He reciprocated it straight away, moving his lips urgently against mine. I had never been kissed like this before and yet this beat all the others
His lips, left mine but didn't give me a chance to complain because they re-attached themselves to my neck taking me off guard
"Jay" I breathed out, barely able to form any words. He moved his hands down my body to stop at my waist and lifted me up so my legs were wrapped around his torso. Once i was up he walked out of the kitchen and made his into his bedroom still not allowing his lips to move from my body
—/
The next day i woke up tangled in between the sheets and Jay thinking about the previous night
It was indescribable
Being caught up in the pleasure left blurs in my memories but I knew it was one of the most amazing nights of my life that I don't think anyone will ever be able to top
I moaned feeling the light pressure of jays lips against my collarbone
"Hey baby" my eyes fluttered open to see Jay cuddled against me
"Hey" I mumbled still trying to get rid of my tiredness. My mind went back to last night but before we had sex
Does this mean we're in a relationship now?
Has he changed his mind?
"Jay, what are we?" I figured to just get it over with, so I don't get caught up in something he doesn't want
"Anything you want, you know how I feel so it's up to you" I interlace my fingers with him and turn my attention to them, playing with them
"I want to be with you, I want it to be like this all the time"
"Then that's what we'll do" he presses a light kiss to my lips before pulling away
"Do you have a shift today?"
"No, do you?" A smile slowly spreads across his face
"Nope. So can we stay here all day?" I move my body closer to his and press my head into his chest and wrap my arms around him
"Yeah, we can stay here all day" he hums and presses a kiss on the top of my head
This is how I wanted it to be all the time.This is what I want. With no looking behind me to see if he knows where we are, or having to watch every move to make myself able to be known to others
And Jay gave that to me
Because over all the amazing feelings he makes me feel even when I'm just in his arms he also gives me a sense of security like no other. All the lack of safety I've missed out on throughout my life, Jay gave it to me in a matter of minutes
—-/
I walked into firehouse 51 and made my way to sit on the table next to Brett and Dawson on the chair beside the large table
"Hey" I say to everyone
"Hey, woah. What's up with you?" Dawson says noticing my face. Brett turns to me and her eyes widen
"What?" I mumble trying to get rid of my smile
"You have a look. Like you did something good"
"Or someone" I hear from Cruz across the table and him and Otis burst out in laughter. I feel my cheeks heat up quickly and I look down
"No way" Dawson mutters. She rushes out of her chair and pulls mine and Sylvie's hands to take us out somewhere else where no one is
"who?" She asks all exited and Brett nods before her eyes widen
"Oh my God is it Jay from the intelligence unit?!" Brett asks. I dip my head down
"Yeah" I mutter. They squeal in happiness and
Jump around
When they finally calm down they decide to ask me questions
"Did you sleep with him?" Gabriella asks. I nod but hold my hand out
"Yeah, but it wasn't just sex. It was-"
"More, indescribable" she finishes. I nod
"Yeah I get that. Are you two together?"
"Yeah"
"When did this happen?!"
"Yesterday"
ambulance 61
They both groaned wanting to carry on and talk about it
"Come on, we gotta go"
—/
"Your gonna catch a cold out here" Brett says ushering the woman in the back of the ambulance
I sit down and grab the gloves behind me before putting them on
"James, I'm gonna take your blood pressure. Is that okay?"
"Will it hurt?"
"No, you'll be fine" she takes her coat off and I look to Sylvie who's doing paperwork
"I regret it" I mumble. She looks at me confused
"I regret asking him to be with me"
"What? Why?" I put the stethoscope on my ears and look back at the woman's reading
"There's so much he doesn't know, and what about when he finds me. I might even have to leave again"
"What! Your not leaving"
"110/60. Your good to go" she puts her coat back on and gets off the chair, exiting the ambulance
"I'm not saying I will but what other choice do I have, I can't do what he says.. and if Trey Is with him- gosh if he's with him.. I don't know what I would do"
"He doesn't have power over you anymore"
"He does" I whisper
"I get so scared around him Brett, I can barely think about him"
"You can tell someone. Tell Jay"
"I can't, I can't tell Jay. He will be so disappointed" I step out of the van and get into the passenger seat and she follows
"He won't be disappointed in you Kayla"
"I'm disappointed in me. I know he will be too"
"Kayla" she sighs
"Please don't go. I don't want you to go" I look over and see her sad expression
"We don't even know if that will happen" I sigh looking at her still upset face
"Okay, okay I'll stay" she wipes the fallen tears and nods
"Thank you"
What have I just gotten myself into?