The episode opens with Stan Pines driving the Mystery Cart and stopping at the bottomless pit. "In this land of ours, there are many great pits. But none more bottomless than the bottomless pit. Which as you can see here is bottomless."
Y/n folds his arms, "that much is obvious."
Soos asked. "Question. Is it bottomless?"
Y/n sighed, holding his head down. "Never mind."
Stan sighed as well, "Kids, can one of you try explaining this to Soos?"
Dipper looked at Stan, "Grunkle Stan, why are we here again?"
"To dispose of things that we don't want. So long, Mystery Shack suggestion cards!" Stan throws some cards down into the pit.
Y/n looked at the pit, then at Stan, "I feel like those were important."
"Goodbye, creepy love letters from Li'l Gideon!" Mabel throws letters and gifts away, "Die! Die!"
Soos takes off his shoes and throws them in the pit, Dipper looks at him, "What are you doing?"
"Throwing stuff, dude. Everyone's doin' it." Soos grabs and throws a barbecue grill down the pit.
Mabel is pushing a large chained box toward the pit, which got Stan suspicious. "What you got there, Mabel?"
"Oh, it's just my personal box of mysterious secrets. Nothing worth wondering about." Mabel giggles.
Y/n raised an eyebrow and approaches it, "oh really? Mind if I take a look?"
Mabel gives him one of the most serious looks in his life, "no one can see this. Especially not you. (She pushes the box down the pit) Goodbye forever!"
Y/n started to sweat, "I felt my soul leave."
Dipper points out something no one was talking about, "Grunkle Stan, do I really have to be the one to point out that a bottomless pit is, by definition, impossible?"
Stan started shaking cards out of his fez down the pit, "Says you."
"Well, I guess we'll never know." Mabel says as the wind starts blowing.
Y/n tried to plant his feet in the ground, "BRGH-! Whoa!"
Soos shouts, "Aah! It's some sort of invisible pushing force!"
"Quick! Everyone back to the shack!" Dipper toward the shack.
"I'm not done getting rid of these yet!"Stan tries throwing more cards into the bottomless pit but the wind blows them into his face.
Mabel shouts, "Grunkle Stan! No!"
While everyone pulls him away from the pit, Stan was still focused, "Almost... Almost... Almost!"
They all fall into the pit, screaming while Gompers groans.
————
—————
Mabel, Dipper, Soos, Stan, and Y/n were screaming until they realized it was endless. "So, anyone want to scream some more?"
Dipper looked around, "Where are we?"
Mabel lights a glowstick, "We're somewhere where it looks like we're nowhere."
She hangs the glowstick on Y/n's head and giggles. Y/n looked at her unamused at the glowing stick on his head. "Hey!"
"We're gonna land on something eventually. It could be any second now." Dipper says as everyone braces for a landing but nothing happens.
"Well... it looks like we're down here for the long haul. Who wants to see some card tricks?" Stan takes out cards, which fly up and away, "Tada!"
Mabel claps as Soos speaks up, "Hey, maybe we should pass the time by telling stories."
Dipper sarcastically said, "I've got a story. It's called the time Grunkle Stan got us all thrown into a bottomless pit where we spent the rest of our NATURAL LIVES!"
Soos was intrigued, "Go on..."
Mabel waved her hand, "Come on, Dipper, you can do better than that."
"Fine." Y/n takes the glow stick, "I'll tell you a story. A story I'd like to call 'Voice Over.'
—————————-
Title card appears; Y/n, Mabel, Wendy, Soos are on the lawn with Waddles and Parris. Mabel looks ahead, "Ready?"
Mabel, Wendy, Y/n and Soos shout spin Waddles until he stops, pointing at Stan, "Spin the Pig!"
Mabel asked, "Hey! Grunkle Stan. Ever kissed a pig before?"
Stan gave a deadpan stare, "I'm not gonna answer that question."
Y/n smirked, "oh you have? Tell us the story-!"
Dipper runs up, "Guys! I think I just got bit by a snake! I need you to get me to a hospital quick! (Stan laughed) What? What's so funny?"
Stan smirked, "Sorry. It's just hard to focus on what you're saying with that squeaky puberty voice you got there."
Dipper raised an eyebrow, "My what?"
Mabel adds, "It's nothing to be ashamed of, Dipper. Your voice is (Imitating Dipper:) hillaaarrious!"
Dipper got flustered with embarrassment, "Are you saying my voice cracks? My voice doesn't crack!"
Y/n smiled, "it's okay, Dip! I have them too, not as much as you but there there."
"Dude, no offense, but it cracks so much we've already made a techno remix out of it." Soos plays the tape.
Remix plays in Dipper's voice, "Nice to meet you
My name's Dipper Pines, P-P-Pines, Pines, Pines Nice to meet you P-p-pines, Pines, Pines"
Dipper hid, "Do I really sound like that?"
Wendy smiled bright, "Oh, here comes my favorite part!"
Remix says, "Stop it, guys!"
Stan, Soos and Wendy laugh as Y/n and Mabel started to look at Dipper. "Give me that!"
Dipper grabs the tape from Soos and leaves. Y/n, Mabel, Soos and Wendy shout, "Spin the Pig!"
Dipper sighed as he walked, "Even my sigh sounds weird."
Old Man McGucket pops out of a hole, "Hello there! (Dipper screams) I couldn't help but overhear your situation. Old Man McGucket, (spits on his hand) part-time inventor."
Dipper asked, "Why do you spit on your hand?"
McGucket stated, "I don't rightly know."
Dipper glared, "Hey, I remember you! Your robot almost killed me!"
McGucket pulls Dipper into an alley, "Come here! Follow me into this dark and dangerous alley. (Pouring a potion into a cup) Lately, I've been tickerizing with a voice alterizing tonic. On account of my (screaming:) Horrrrifyin' voice!"
A Kid cries and runs away, McGucket looks on, "You can run, but I'll still be in your nightmares!"
"This will really fix my voice? Thanks!" Dipper drinks it and leaves.
McGucket nodded, "Come mornin', you'll sound like a new man... If you survive."
Cuts to Dipper waking up in the morning, yawns, with deeper voice, "Good morning Dipper. I did it! I diiid it! Now I have a neeew voice! Ha ha ha! (Runs to Mabel's bed) Morning Mabel. Who's my favorite Mabel?"
Mabel screams and hits Dipper with a golf club, "Who are you?! What have you done with my brother!? Dipper! I'll save you from this body switching warlock!"
Dipper explained, "Mabel, it's me. This is my voice now. I sound awesome. Soouund aaawesome."
Mabel was a bit freaked out, "I know boys' voices change, and Y/n's voice cracks are absolutely adorable, but this is weird. Weird and bad."
"But Mabel, this is the best thing that has ever happened to me. And just think of the prank calls." Dipper dials a number.
"Hello?"
"Hello, this is the President of the United States of America. I am calling to tell you..." Dipper makes spitting noises.
"What? Who is this?!"
Dipper hangs up and laughs, "Magnificent!"
Mabel winces, "Mabel no like."
Y/n started to sir, "why are you so loud, Mabel? I thought I told you both..."
"Hello there, buddy." Dipper says as Y/n's eyes shrank as a laser is seen piercing the top of the roof. Dipper was seen on the ground and breathing heavy, uninjured. "What the heck, man?!"
"You monster! Get out of my friends body!" Y/n used the cane as a sword as Mabel stopped him.
"Stop, it's really Dipper!" Mabel said as Y/n was confused.
"Oh man, you're right but... you sound like someone who wants to ask about religion." Y/n said as Dipper glared.
"You both are crazy. I bet at least Soos will be happy about my change." Dipper walks up to Soos in the gift shop, "How are you diddly-doing, Soos?"
Soos grabs a broom and hits Dipper, "Kill it! Kill it with fire! Everyone flee!"
Dipper looks at him, "What gives, man? You guys all made fun of my old voice. I thought you'd like the new one."
Soos took a step back, "Well, at least before you sounded like a real person. Now, you sound like some weird commercial dude."
Y/n nodded, "that's what I said...kinda!"
"I'll find Stan. He'll like my new voice. You'll see. I'll be right back after these messages!.. I mean... goodbye." Dipper goes outside and downtown, "Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan! Where are you, Grunkle Stan?"
He walks by Skull Fracture, Tats looks at him, "Huh? I know that voice anywhere! You're that guy that prank-called me earlier!"
Dipper lied, "No I'm not. I'm a 12 year old boy."
Tats glared, "You expect me to believe that? You crazy-voiced punk!"
"Wait! No!" Dipper screams and runs away.
Tats walks into a bar, "There's a prank caller on the loose! Let's get him!"
Everyone in the bar running after him; Dipper jumps into a hole, "Escaaape!"
Dipper runs to where old man McGucket is, "McGucket! Your invention was a catastrophe!"
McGucket dances, "That's probably why I live in a dump!"
"My own sister didn't recognize me. I scared away crowds." Dipper sobs, "I even sound ridiculous when I cry."
McGucket digs through his car trunk. "Well, now. Here's your problem. I gave you the wrong drinking majiggy. This one's for voice over professionals. I'm sure I got a better voice in here somewhere."
Dipper panics, "Good! Hurry up!"
McGucket smiled, "You got here just in time. Come sundown, you'd be back to your ridiculous old voice."
"It was ridiculous, wasn't it?" Dipper plays the tape.
Remix speaks in Dipper's voice, "D-D-Dipper Pines
That's me! (Mabel's voice:) This remix is dedicated to my brother. Dipper, your voice is one of a kind. (Y/n's voice) It makes you so realistic and genuine. (Soos' voice:) Dude, I've never heard anything like it. R-r-remix over! (Soos makes explosion noise)"
"Are you ready for your new voice? This one should be permanent!" He gives Dipper a new potion.
Dipper looks back and forth between the vial and the tape; holds vial up to his mouth about to drink it, scene cuts to the Shack; in normal voice:, "Hey guys."
Mabel smiled, "Dipper!"
Soos was cheerful, "Dude, you're back."
Dipper nodded, "I guess I realized that even though my voice may not be perfect, it's still mine, and I wouldn't change it for anything, not even for whatever was in this new vial."
Y/n wrapped his arm around him, "I'm glad you're back but what did you do with the rest of that potion?"
Dipper smirked, "I dumped it in Stan's coffee."
Stan walks in; in a female voice, "Have any of you kids seen mah girdle? Where mah girdle at? (Y/n, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos laugh) What? What's so funny? I'm Grunkle Stay-an! Kids laughing. Laughing at they Grunkle."
——————————
Mabel looked around, "I spy with my little eye something that is... Black!"
Y/n sighed, "is it me? Is it not? Nobody will know..."
Soos gets it, "Ooh ooh! Everything!"
"Yay for Soos!" Mabel claps.
Soos cheers, "Yay for Soos!"
Y/n sighed, "yep, that makes more sense."
Mabel looked at them, "Hey guys, who wants to pass the time by spinning? Everyone spin!"
Dipper and Y/n both say, "No."
Mabel starts spinning Dipper and Y/n, "Yaay!"
The two shout, "Woooaah!"
Soos starts chuckling, Mabel was running on top of Y/n, who was in turn slapping Dipper on accident. "Weeee!"
Dipper and Y/n exclaimed, "Ow, ow, ow, ow!"
Stan sighed, "their pain is funny, but I'm starting to get bored. Soos, tell a story."
"Really? Okay." Soos thought, Dipper screams as he spins and floats at background. "This story is called 'Soos' really good Pinball story. Is that a good title? Does it have to be a pun or whatever?'"
———-
Title card appears. Cut to Soos, Y/n, Dipper, and Mabel in the pinball room. Soos is playing pinball. Y/n, Dipper and Mabel were chanting, "Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!"
Soos smiled, "This is it, dudes. After 4 long years of trying, I might finally get a high score on Stan's creepy old pinball machine. If I do this, I'll go down in pinball history, with the likes of Sal, Gaff, and of course, Poo."
Dipper asked, "Have you ever tried maybe tilting the machine?"
Soos said uncertain, "I don't know, dudes, isn't breaking the rules like, against the rules?"
Mabel yelled, "Nuts to the rules! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt!"
Y/n nodded, "yeah it's just a game what's the...actually..."
Soos loses and the Pinball Machine states, "Failure! You stink!"
Soos gets mad, "All right, that's it! Are you ready, kids?"
Y/n, Mabel, and Dipper start tilting the machine, "Tilt! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt!"
Pinball Machine says, "Quit tiltin', partner. Quit tiltin'!"
"Tilt!" Soos tilts the ball into the goal.
Pinball Machine shouts, "Bulls-eye! New high score!"
Y/n, Mabel, Dipper and Soos start cheering, "This is the best moment of my life. This totally beats my old best moment. (Flashback to Soos pressing the eject button on a VHS player and a piece of pizza comes out. Soos picks up the pizza and prepares to eat it. Cut back to the present.)"
Pinball Machine glared, "That ain't right. You cheated."
Mabel smirked, "Oh, yeah. What are you gonna do about it? You're just a Pinball game, Pinball game. Taunt, taunt."
Y/n looked at her, "why would you taunt a video game in this town?!"
Dipper saw some lighting and backed up, "Uh, guys, there's an awful lot of green lightning coming out of that game."
Soos reassured, "No, that's the normal amount of green lightning."
Lightning strikes them. Cut to Soos wearing cowboy clothes in the pinball game. He was lying down and hit a buzzer, "Uh, 5 more minutes.(gets up) Ah! That's not a normal alarm clock."
Dipper runs up with Mabel and Y/n; they are also wearing old west themed clothes, "Soos! We're inside the game! Crazy!"
Mabel exclaimed, "Sweet Moses!"
Soos stated, "Hushed exclamation of wonder!"
Y/n looked around, "that's great, but where's the exit?"
"Who knows?" Mabel starts jumping around on the buzzers, "Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing!"
Soos smiled, "Dude, if this is a dream, I never want to wake up!"
Pinball Machine speaks, "That can be arranged. Welcome to Tumbleweed Terror, partners."
Soos turned around to see the announcer, "Hey, it's the skeleton cowboy guy. Did you zap me into your game to congratulate me on getting my new score? I beat Poo, dude!"
Pinball Machine reminded, "Pardon, and if'n I do recall, I did warned y'all not to cheat. I tried to be gentleman-like, but I'm plum sick of being tilted. So, now I reckon, I'm gonna tilt you."
"Well, take this!" Soos hits a button but hits himself in the eye, "Ow! And this! (Punches himself again) Ow! It hurts. I wish this was working better. And this! Aw, dude! (Knocks himself out)"
Mabel and Dipper shout, "Soos!"
Pinball Machine laugh, "Get yourselves ready for the..."
Dipper says, "Multi-Ball!"
Y/n says next, "multi-ball!!"
Soos next up, "Multi-Ball!"
Mabel finally says, "Multi-Ball!"
Pinball Machine laughed as the balls traveled through the game and towards them, "Ha ha ha ha ha!"
"Over there!" Y/n, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos run behind a wall.
Pinball Machine taunts, "Where are you? I'm not done teaching you a lesson about cheating yet."
Dipper thinks, "How are we gonna get out of here? Think, guys."
"I'm trying. But it's hard with that gorgeous pinball wench distracting me." Soos waved at a cutout of a woman, "Okay. Don't worry, guys, I know every inch of this machine. There's a manual power switch inside. I can sneak in there and turn off the game. But we'll have to distract the cowboy guy. Are any of you good at jumping up and down and making annoying noises?"
Mabel's hair starts blowing in wind, "My time has come."
Dipper nods, "Alright, let's go, Soos. Soos?"
Soos was near the pinball wench, "So are you, like, doing anything later? (Y/n smashed it to pieces with a single kick to the wench.) Oh, right."
Pinball Machine was getting annoyed, "Come on out and show yourselves, varmints."
Mabel jumps up on a buzzer, "Hey! Hey! Hey! Look at me and listen to what I'm doing! BUZZZZZZ! DISTRACTION! DISTRACTION! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA!"
Dipper sings as Y/n started to tap dance. The Pinball Machine was suspicious, "Something ain't right here. Let me see where this is going."
Soos gets n a cart, rolls down behind the pinball machine, Pinball Machine sensed something, "Ha ha ha ha. Yippy ti yi what? Where are ya? (Tries to turn) Darnit, I wish I had a neck."
Dipper looked at Soos, "Soos, pssssst. What's going on? Just press the switch already!"
Soos paused,, "Okay, so I was gonna do that, but I've been thinking. According to this, turning off the power erases the high score permanently. That score is like my one big life accomplishment."
Y/n glared at him, "Soos, what's wrong with you?! If you don't hurry up, we could die in here!!"
Soos nodded, "Fair point. But, what is life anyway when compared to the immortality of a high score?"
Dipper glared, "Soos, are you out of your--!"
Pinball Machine looked, "There y'all are. Get ready to meet your maker, kids. My maker is Ballway Games in Redmond, Washington. (inhales)"
Y/n, Dipper and Mabel were being sucked toward the cowboy skull, "Woooooaah!"
Y/n looked at Soos, "Soos!"
Mabel asked, "Soos, please!"
Dipper shouted, "Turn it off!"
"Uhhh Uhh. Goodbye, high score." Soos pushes the button and the pinball game turns off. He and the trio wake up outside of the game, "Woah! You dudes okay?"
Mabel smiled, "Yes! You did it! You freed us!"
Dipper sighed, "Hey man, I'm sorry you had to lose your high score."
Soos winked, "That's Okay. I've got a new life accomplishment now. Saving you dudes."
Y/n, Dipper and Mabel all said, "Awwwww."
Soos asked, "You think that pinball wench will call me?"
—————-
Stan was not impressed, "I can't believe this nonsense. Magic tonics? Soos winning at something? Where did you come up with this stuff? I'll tell you a good story. It's called 'Grunkle Stan wins the football bowl'"
———————-
Cut to a football stadium. Stan makes a touchdown and dances. Football player looks at him, "Mr. Pines, I thought that old folks were useless, but you taught me and my gloating friends a lesson."
Beautiful Woman arriving in a gigantic trophy, "Here is your football winning trophy, Mr. Pines."
Stan winked, "Thanks, beautiful woman. But I couldn't have done it without my sidekick, Footbot."
Footbot looks up, "Thank you for building me, Daddy! (Stan and football players laugh as fireworks go off.) I love you, Stan."
————-
Cut back to the present. Y/n, Soos, Dipper and Mabel boo him, "Boooooo!"
Stan was in disbelief, "What? That story was great! I even threw in a talking robot for the kids."
Y/n sighed, "guess I'll go next. This one's called."
Double O' 0 and Casino Night Run!
———————
The scene opens with Y/n in the kitchen, helping put pictures in Mabel's scrapbook. "Almost got it..."
Stan burps as he walks in, "hey, kid. Where's the other two?"
Y/n shrugged, "something about going to find out about a growing flashlight to get endless pizza? I figured the two could use their own time."
"Heh, what's the catch?" Stan asked as Y/n rolled his eyes.
"There's not always a catch." Y/n said, "never got to play catch with my father either."
"Guess that makes two of us." Stan says as he drinks some...thing in the refrigerator. He then looks at the scrapbook, "will that ever come in handy?"
"You'll have to be more specific, you mean the time wasting or the scrapbooking?" Y/n asked as Stan pointed.
"The last one." Stan explained.
Y/n was unnerved, "then probably not a lot. But I can play the piano, that's sure to come in handy."
"Sure, sure. And I'm John Milks Booth." Stan walks away as the doorbell rings, "answer the door, would ya?"
"I was already gonna." Y/n opened the door to find Pacifica in some undercover clothes. There was a pause before Y/n went to close the door, she put her foot in the door.
"Will you stop?" Pacifica asked as Y/n opened the door. "I need a favor."
"Sigh, you're a jerk." Y/n sighed.
"I get that a lot." Pacifica says, rather sad.
Y/n sarcastically says, "gee, wonder why."
"You don't have to come back home at the moment, but I need your and the old man's help in exchange." Pacifica said as Y/n laughed.
"This is scamming to a whole 'nother level." Y/n mocked.
"You found the NW in the eye, didn't you? You know I'm not lying to you." Pacifica said as Y/n froze, "checkmate."
"Say you aren't a bad scam, what would we get in exchange?" Y/n asked as Pacifica snaps her fingers.
A truck load of bills in bags fall to the ground. Y/n was unimpressed, "great, money. So wha-?"
Stan gripped his head and smiled at the girl, "we're in!"
"The Northwests got into a tussle with another family, that happens to own a casino. They stole the whole property from us. Your mission is to steal the objects in the safe and return them to the Northwest mansion. No questions asked."
Y/n and Stan are seen in tux as Y/n looks at him, "can't believe you can pull that off."
"I don't remember the last time I've been to these to not steal anything." Stan says as he smirked, "money, can buy suits. I will always fit in these."
Stan parks the car as the two get out, looking at the casino, "looks like the place. What's the plan?"
Stan thinks about it, "alright, I'll sneak
in through the vents."
"Alright, and since you're fat it'll take a while, I'll cause a distraction." Y/n says as they walk inside.
"This will be your life in a couple of years, don't laugh about it." Stan says as he walked away.
Y/n smirked and walked forward, "I doubt it. I'd be surprised if I make it to 13 with all the stuff that happens in the town."
Y/n sees a man in a flashy gold suit, "hello there..."
Y/n walks by and uses his cane to steal the wallet, he takes the money out and puts the wallet back. Y/n then walked to a lonely woman at the bar, Y/n slammed his money down and looked at the bartender. "Get me what's she's having."
"I don't need another drink." The woman said.
Y/n smirked, "who said it was for you, beautiful? It's for me."
"Oh? Flattery planning on getting you places?" the woman downed her drink.
"See it more as being a detailed gentleman." Y/n says as he steals the access card from the bartender while he wasn't looking. "Think you can keep a secret?"
She leaned in his face, "you bet."
Y/n got up, just as the drink arrived. "Actually give it to her, she earned it. Actually you know what, DRINKS ON ME!"
They cheered as the woman winked at him before Y/n then traveled to look at the in the gold suit, "hey man, think that guy stole your money."
Y/n pointed to bartender as the gold man glared and ran over to tackle the man. The two fought as some members watched, "CASINO FIGHT!!"
The whole casino started to break out into a fight as Y/n took a drink of a random person's cup, "good work, Double O zero."
Meanwhile, Stan is seen kicking down a vent before crawling in, "ugh, don't they keep their vents clean? Do we even have vents at the shack?"
Stan crawled forwards as he sighed, "this is probably gonna take forever."
Stan looked down to see the safe I'm an empty room, "I love it when good karma comes around."
Stan kicks off the vent to leap down, he looks at the safe to see it was heavily protected, "no pin? Lock? Maybe that kids Sword or laser could get this out. Maybe I should call him in here...Nah!"
Stan took the whole safe and busted the front door down, an alarm suddenly went off as Stan ran forward in a charge. Everyone stopped fighting and looked in the distance, Y/n wondered, "dang it Stan, we're so close! Think, think think! Ah! Got it!"
Stan bursted through the doors away from security guards as he closed the doors and put a metal plank to stop them. A piano key soon stopped everyone from fighting as the bar woman was seen on top of the piano as Y/n is seen playing the piano.
"We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day
Keep smiling through
Just like you always do
'Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away"
Stan looked at him, "his voice and how he talked changed. Like whole different person."
"So will you please say hello
To the folks that I know
Tell them I won't be long
They'll be happy to know
That as you saw me go
I was singing this song
We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day"
Y/n smiled at Stan, "come on Stanley, sing with me!"
Stan agave a deadpan stare, "Only if I was on my last legs. And I only have two."
The security busted through as Y/n panicked, but got an idea as the crowd formed. He looked at the woman, "can you play Piano?"
She cracked her knuckles and picked up where Y/n left off. Y/n and Stan were suddenly lifted into the air and towards the entrance, crowd surfing. "Come on, sing it with me, Y'all!
We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day
Keep smiling through
Just like you always do
'Til the blue skies
Drive the dark clouds far away
So will you please say hello
To the folks that I know
Tell them it won't be long
They'll be happy to know
That as you saw me go
I was singin' this song
We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day!"
The two were carried out and quickly drove away. Once in the car, a laser went off and cut the safe entry way open. Y/n reached inside, Stan looked at him, "find any money?"
"Not feeling any- wait, there's something." Y/n said as he reached in and found a couple papers. "A deed and ownership of the casino? What, it says here that it was never the Northwest's property, the Northwests just want to seize the land and take over the property."
Stan looks at y/n, "hey, don't you remember, no questions asked."
"But think of how many lives will be effected if we do this? You don't care for any of that?" Y/n asked as Stan smiled.
"Nope." Stan said as Y/n got silent. "It's not gonna work." No words, "I'm serious...ugh, Fine!"
At the shack, the car pulled up, Pacifica looked at Y/n, "well?"
Y/n put a slip of paper in her hand that said: I.O U. N (I owe you nothing). "What is this?!"
"Your family was using you, trying to seize the land that wasn't there's. How about next time you come over, it's just two kids being kids." Y/n said as he walked back to the shack with Stan. "And when you stop being a jerk to people, maybe they'll try to understand you."
Pacifica held her arm and was about to say something before Mabel's voice rang out in the shack, "Oh cool! My hand is bigger now!"
"Are you... happy in this run down shack?" Pacifica asked.
Y/n warned, "Pacifica..."'
"At this store?" Pacifica corrected.
Pacifica snaps her fingers as the workers take all the money. Y/n nodded, "yes, I am."
Pacifica took a deep breath, and then a sigh, "I'll be back and try to...be different."
She got in a limo and drove off. Stan pats his back, "you did good kid, but we went though all that and didn't get any money."
Y/n reveals wads of cash in this top hat, which Stan smiled. "You sly demon! Take out tonight!"
"Let's go!" The kids shouted.
—————-
Soos looked at Y/n, "I didn't know you could sing."
Y/n folded his arms upside down. "There's a lot of stuff you don't know about me."
Mabel smiled, "that was a wonderful story, besides the bar woman part, but it's my turn! A story called "Trooth Ache!"
————
Title card appears. Y/n Dipper, Mabel, and Stan are in the driveway while Manly Dan ties up a bear. "This attraction is gonna make me a fortune. Easy with that bear, Corduroy! I need him in showroom condition."
The Bear roars, Manly Dan wrestles the bear. Mabel smiled, "Aaaaawww. They're hugging."
Dipper was confused, "So, let me get this straight. Your plan is to teach a bear to ride a bicycle?"
"No. Come on, everyone's seen a bicycle-riding bear. No, no. I'm gonna teach this bear... to drive!" Cut to Stan's car driving crazily on the road. The bear is driving, Stan is in the passenger seat, and Y/n? Dipper and Mabel are in the back seat., "And the yellow light means speed up. (Hears cops' siren noise) Uh oh."
Blubs and Durland stops Stan's car, "What seems to be the problem, officers?"
Sheriff Blubs was unamused, "There better be a darn good explanation for this."
Stan lied, "Oh, there is. You see, I'm a very old man. Not long for this Earth. And the doctors assigned me a seeing eye bear to drive me to the hospital in case of an emergency."
Sheriff Blubs raised an eyebrow, "Is that right? Then, where is your doctor's note?"
"Why, it's right here, inside my jacket." Stan writes note inside jacket quickly, "There you go. (gives them the note, which says "Stan is sick and needs a bear. -Dr. Medicine")"
Sheriff Blubs sighed, "Well, I can't argue with Dr. Medicine."
"To the hospital, honeypants!" Stan shouts as Bear roars and drives away.
Cuts to later in the Mystery Shack. Stan is painting rocks under a sign titled "Real Gold!"
Mabel walks up to him. "Grunkle Stan, how could you lie to those policemen? Don't you know lying is always wrong?"
"Mabel, when you get to be my age, you'll learn that you sometimes have to bend the truth for the greater good." Stan eats spaghetti.
Dipper comes in with Y/n, "Hey, have any of you seen my plate of spaghetti?"
Stan hides spaghetti behind him while turning around to Dipper, "No... But I bet Soos has. You know how he likes to eat."
"This is a dark day. Thanks, Grunkle Stan." Dipper runs off.
Stan smiled, "See? Greater good."
Mabel shouts, "Aaaaah!"
Cuts to Mabel lying on her bed with Waddles, "Waddles, what am I gonna do about Grunkle Stan? (As Waddles:) He needs to stop lying. (Regular voice:) I know, but how do we stop him? (As Waddles:) Maybe you should check Dipper's journal. Oink Oink. (Regular voice:) Say oink one more time. (As Waddles:) Oink Oink. (Regular voice:) Waddles, you genius! (Opens journal; reading aloud:) "Buried 'neath a trees stump in the deep forest are the truth teeth, which forces upon the wearer the inability to lie." Hmmm. (Cut to Stan sleeping at night. Mabel puts truth teeth in his mouth and wakes him up)"
Stan was confused, "What? What's going on? Huh? Mabel?"
Mabel asked, "Quick question. What happened to Dipper's spaghetti plate?"
"I ate it because I have little to no concern about other people's possessions or emotions." Stan realizes what he just said. "That was strangely candid. Almost as if I am unable to lie. Well, good night. (Goes to sleep)
Cut to that morning. Mabel is whispering in Dipper and Y/n's ear. "You what? That seems like a horrible idea!"
Mabel smiled, "It's great! Now he has to tell the truth."
Y/n sighed, "I think some things are better unknown."
Stan gives them plates, "Scrambled meat, here it is."
Dipper asked, "Stan, what do you do in secret everyday during your lunch break?"
"Usually, I spend the hour aggressively scratching myself in places I shouldn't mention. Now I'm going to avoid making eye contact by pretending to read this newspaper and going to the bathroom without washing my hands." Stan leaves.
Y/n,Dipper and Mabel wince in disgust, "Eeeeeeewww!"
Dipper says, "Well, that was disturbing."
Y/n extended his arms, "see what I mean?"
Mabel waved it off, "Don't worry, Y/n. The truth is always a good thing."
Cut to Stan in the gift shop. "Hey, excuse me. Do you think this t-shirt is my size?"
Stan smiled, "Never mind the t-shirt! Hey everyone, look at this guy's abnormal and unattractive face!"
Mabel leads man away, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
Cut to Stan doing taxes, "Doing my taxes."
Dipper looks at one of the papers, which has 'I HAVE COMMITTED TAX FRAUD' on it. "Uh, Grunkle Stan, why did you write this?"
Stan says, "Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud."
"You might wanna..." Y/n shreds the paper.
Y/n, Dipper, Mabel and Stan are watching TV, where a man on a unicycle is juggling.. Y/n, Dipper and Mabel laugh, "Hahahahaha!"
Stan speaks up, "Sometimes, I think. Is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punch line? That we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet, release of death?"
Mabel rocks back and forth, Dipper shivers, and Y/n closes his eyes and holds his ears shut.
Cut to later, Stan is yelling up to Y/n, Dipper and Mabel, who are in their room, "Kids, I think I have a growth forming on my back. Just wanted to be honest with you guys."
Dipper shouted, "I can't take it anymore, Mabel! We need to take those teeth out of his mouth."
Mabel replied, "But then he'll be a liar again."
Y/n glared, "Could it possibly be any worse than this?"
The doorbell rings. Y/n, Dipper and Mabel run downstairs, where Stan is standing in the doorway with Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland. "So, after further investigation, it turns out that there is no Dr. Medicine in Gravity Falls."
Deputy Durland glared, "You better have a darn good explanation for this."
Stan explains, "Oh and I do. You see, I lied to you. In addition I've been parking in handicapped spaces, shoplifting fireworks, and smuggling endangered animals across multiple state lines. Also, you're fat."
Sheriff Blubs drops his coffee, "Is all of this true?"
Dipper rushed down, "No! No, it's not true. Right, Mabel, Y/n?"
Y/n nodded, "right, not all of it..."
Mabel stated, "Uh, sirs, I have to be completely and totally honest with you. Our Great Uncle Stan is...is...Stan is.. secretly a crime fiction writer!"
Sheriff Blubs was confused, "What?"
Mabel nodded, "Yeah. He was just telling you about a character in his upcoming page turner, Crime Grandpa! He's never committed a crime in his life. Also, have you lost weight?"
Sheriff Blubs took the bribe, "Finally! Someone noticed."
Deputy Durland smiled, "Wow, an author! Can you teach me how to read?"
Stan was confused, "What? Author?"
"Ha ha, writer, master of fiction. Good night, officers." Mabel closes the door and sighs.
Y/n looked at her, "you good?"
Mabel sighed, "I can't believed I lied."
Dipper smiled, "Mabel, it was for the greater good."
Mabel nods, "Yeah, the greater good."
Stan was on the phone, "Hello? Police station? I forgot to tell him about my tax fraud. No, tax fraud. (Y/n, Dipper and Mabel tackle him) What's gotten into you kids?"
Mabel pulls out the teeth, "We have to find a place to get rid of these! And other secrets that I wish to hide forever!"
Cut to Mabel throwing out the box into the bottomless pit at the beginning of the episode.
——————
"And I never saw that box full of magical teeth again." Mabel sees the box next to Stan, "Oh wait, there it is."
Soos, Dipper & Stan sighs, "Oh, sweet! My shoes!"
Soos puts his shoes back on, Stan says, "I like the part with the bear. The rest of it seems pretty far-fetched."
Dipper looked at Mabel, "Mabel, we already know that story! We just lived through it."
Soos asked, "If we're living through that story right now, then how does it end?"
Y/n looked up, "Guys, do you see that?"
They are approaching some light. Soos asked, "What is that?"
Dipper shouted, "Oh no!"
Mabel panicked, "Where are we going?"
Stan also freaked out, "Not good!"
They all scream as they fall out of the pit and onto the spot they fell from, "Where... where are we?"
Mabel gasps, "Look! The Shack! Which means... we came right back out the top."
Dipper explained, "And I don't think any time has passed. It must be some kind of wormhole."
Soos nods, "Yeah, dude. That sounds science-y enough to be true."
Stan looks at the hole, "But that's impossible. No one will believe us."
Y/n sighed, "Maybe this a story we should keep to ourselves."
Everyone said, "Agreed."
Stan leans on the sign, which breaks, and he falls into the hole, Mabel smiled, she took a picture, "He'll be fine."
——
Stan sighed as he falls in silence down the hole, "This is stupid."