Matthias was quick to set up my tent, it seems this wasn’t his first time doing it. My thoughts were confirmed when Matthias proudly announced that he’s more of an outdoor person than Yohan (the man I saw here). Yohan is a doctor, who’d rather stay indoors watching Netflix and sleep in than out. To get him out of his house, Matthias practically dragged him out to camp here.
“He can’t survive out here without me,” he claimed, laughing. Then, he playfully nudged my knee with his. “Hey, we didn’t get your name.”
I’d rather tell Yohan my name than him but fine, since he’d know anyway.
“Ember.” I glance at Yohan to see a reaction but he remained looking down at his radio.
“Like embers on fire. That’s a beautiful name.”
I didn’t comment on it as Yohan didn’t either.
Every once in a while, they’d check to see how I’m doing, or rather it’s Matthias who does, while Yohan just silently tags along. We went on with our personally planned activities until the night of the said Eclipse.
No wonder there’s so many people here.
This is indeed a rare opportunity for a country with recent monsoons.
“Compared to everyone else we have the greatest viewpoint from here,” Matthias boasted as he laid out a blanket big enough for the three of us.
“I didn’t know there’d be an eclipse,” I confessed.
“That’s how I managed to convince Yohan. He likes the moon, stars and shit.”
Yohan didn’t react.
While we were waiting, Matthias went on and on about his project in Dubai, which I didn’t understand because he keeps using terms I don’t know.
My mind began to wonder about home, my sister and nephew, and my parents. I wondered how they’d all been doing while I was away. I know we’re under the same sky, and living the same day and night but I feel like I’m too far away from them. Since then, when I failed my board exam, I felt the distance between us like a chasm that keeps us apart. I knew since then that I will never reach them no matter how hard I try.
If only we could meet again, where they don’t have to look at me as a failure. I wish we could meet as the moon and sun, where we mark the end of bitter judgments and start new beginnings.
“Anong oras nga magsisimula, Yohan?”
“6:59 PM.”
This time, Matthias turned to face me. His face in its usual smiling expression.
“November’s going to be a great month. There’ll be a lot of astrological events that Yohan is expecting to see. He filed in a leave for this.”
I only smiled. I doubt that this is going to be a great month. I may have survived the first week of November but I’m positively certain it won’t be smooth sailing from here. Though I must admit, it’s going to be good enough of a distraction.
“What else do you want to see, Yohan?”
Yohan’s eyes fell on me before turning to look at Matthias who’s frowning, upset that I deliberately ignored him and his attempt of a conversation.
“Meteor shower on November 17,” he replied, ignoring Matthias glares.
“You’ll be on duty by then,” Matthias declared.
“You’re going back to Dubai,” Yohan retorted. “Anyway, I wanted it to be on the seventeen but you forced me to come today.”
“Oh, bakit parang kasalanan ko?”
“It is.”
I appreciate it that Yohan consistently talk with Matthias in English, knowing that I still don’t understand theirs. In that way, I didn’t feel left out at all.
We waited until the moon rises to the clear night sky. As minutes pass by, the moon transitioned to glow a lumeniscent color of yellow to orange. We put on our glasses to shield our eyes. It was beautiful, its mesmerizing appearance made me stare at it longer than I’d hope, I didn’t even notice Yohan taking the spot beside me.
“Matthias is taking pictures,” he said, snapping me from my trance. He nodded at a crouching figure with a camera held close to his face.
He’s not far from us but he’s too occupied so he didn’t pay much attention to us nor to his surroundings. Matthias almost went rolling down the hill if Yohan didn’t warn him beforehand.
“Aren’t you going to take pictures?”
“I’d like to commit them more to memory.”
“Aren’t you afraid you might forget?”
Yohan look up at the sky. “I won’t.”
The night dragged on with many people admiring the sky. Their eyes either fixated on the scene above or on their phones as they scroll across their galleries, searching for a good picture to post on social media.
It’s more of a competition who got the better photo than keeping a memory.
I didn’t realize I fell asleep in the middle of all the excitement. I woke up lying next to Yohan who was still sleeping. Next to him was Matthias who has his arm and leg over him. The other campers were already packing, ready to go back to their lives.
While everyone else’s moving on, I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere.
The two woke up when I was making our breakfast: poach eggs, toast with butter, and coffee. Matthias was the first to dig in, while Yohan excused himself so he could wash up by the riverside.
“What are your plans after this?” Matthias asks in the middle of shoving food in his mouth.
“Nothing,” I replied. “Are you leaving today?”
“I have a flight to Dubai tomorrow. I need to prepare before then.”
“And Yohan?”
Matthias stopped chewing, then look up only to squint his eyes at me. He pointed the fork at my direction, accusingly.
“You like him.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “I’m just asking.”
“I knew it,” he sighs. “Malakas talaga si Yohan sa mga babae.”
“Sorry?”
“Ignore him,” said Yohan, sitting beside Matthias. He just came back, all fresh and good looking.
“Any plans?” I smiled, leaning forward a bit, but Matthias was quick to put his hand between us.
“I’m going back to work. You?”
Work. It must be nice to be busy.
“Nothing.”
They left at noon, along with everybody else. Some of them spared me curious glances, wondering why I’m not packing unlike the rest of them. I’m grateful Yohan and Matthias didn’t bombard me with questions, they bade their farewells and set off with smiles on their faces — or rather, on Matthias’ face.
Days pass by, weather keeps changing... but I remained in my place. It wasn’t easy though. I struggled through rainy days and nights, trying to keep my tent together and myself warm. The ground I’m walking could either be muddy or dry, nevertheless it was tolerable.
I don’t have trouble with food since I didn’t bring any perishable goods, I only brought the ones that are ready to eat. Though I must admit, I’m getting tired of them.
I was by the riverside, trying to figure out how to catch fish using an improvised fishing pole, when I heard the rumble of tires on dirt. At first I thought it was one of the locals who came to shoo me away, but when I saw who was stepping out of the car a smile quickly made its way to my lips.
“Yohan!”
Yohan was frowning when he saw me waving. He didn’t have much of a choice so he walked over with yet another permanent scowl on his face.
“Did you intentionally came back after hearing I’ll be here today?”
The realization dawned on me. Yohan wanted to see the meteor shower on November 17. That’s today.
“Correction. I never left.”
Yohan’s visible shock made me giggle. It’s nice to see him react when he’s expressionless most of the time.
“Alone?” Yohan glared at me, then at my tent. “In the open? You do realize how dangerous it is. Anyone could have walked up to you while you’re sleeping.”
“I know.”
“You could’ve been hurt.” His voice began to rise, and as he said this he took a step forward. “You could’ve been killed.”
I looked around the area, shrugged then laughed to myself.
“I didn’t so...” I began to play with the pole I was still holding. I swang it around, feeling a bit nervous with the way he’s looking at me.
“So, do you want to go fishing?” I ask.
Yohan quietly sat beside me, took the pole from my hand then threw the hook in the water. We waited patiently for a bite but none came, until the sun began to set there was still nothing.
“This is never going to work,” I moaned, throwing my head back out of frustration.
Yohan held the hook line before me. “Just because this one didn’t work doesn’t mean there’s no other way.”
I watch Yohan gather more materials from the tent. He borrowed my fishing net and some rope to tie it with. I wondered what he was going to do with it. Then, he told me to follow him in the riverbank where we walked along until we reached a small waterfall with a height only 3ft.
“I noticed the river’s current a little too strong, so maybe the fish couldn’t reach the bait,” Yohan explain, then pointed at the waterfall. “The flow’s probably bringing them down here. I’ll cross the river to tie this on the other side.”
The mosquito net will serve as a medium to catch the fish that’s being dragged along the river’s flow. Some of them were jumping from the waterfall and into the water below.
I was amazed at how quickly Yohan planned out another way, simply by looking and asking himself why it didn’t work it the first place.
“You hold it over there,” he called from the other side. He was able to cross the small river since the current was light.
“They’re going to jump into the net, right?” I ask, looking up. “What if the net can’t hold them?”
“We’ll have to see.”
We held the net a few centimeters away from the fall, so some of the fishes would get caught in our net. I held the rope tighter, so we’d be able to put up the net without it dipping into the water. To my amazement, the net was able to hold up ten fish, and since we knew it’s getting heavier Yohan held the end of the net and told me to the same. We met in the middle, holding up the net in our hands.
“You wouldn’t know unless you try,” he told me. He carried the net over his shoulder as we walk back to the riverbank.
“I can see that,” I smirked. “I thought you’re not an outside person?”
“I’m not.” Yohan frowned. “There’s still things I can do even when I’m not... that person.”
I walk up before him, purposely blocking his path then turned around to face him.
“What else can you do?” I wanted to tease h so bad. He looks cute when irritated with the way his jaw clenches.
He raised an eyebrow. “I can leave.”
Thinking that he’s only kidding, I chortled out a laugh as I walk with him. “You won’t leave me.”
Yohan began to walk faster.
“Right?”
He didn’t look back.
“Yohan!” I chased him all the way to my tent, fearful that he’d actually leave. As we were arguing over the fish, I notice a slight hint of a smile on him.
In the end, I let him do whatever he wants. I felt happy seeing him like that, it’s the first time I saw him straying from his usually cold demeanor.
“The meteor’s not until 2 in the morning,” I reminded him. I put my chin over the palm of my hand as I watch him cook the fish over a fire I made. “Aren’t you a little early?”
“I want to get away for a while.”
I smiled at that. “Did something happen at work?”
I saw him swallow, and thought for a while before speaking. “There’s this patient I couldn’t save. He died.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
Yohan didn’t say anything else. We sat around the fire in silence, listening to the crackles of the fire and indulging ourselves in the aroma of cooked fish. Meanwhile, I stole a glance at Yohan and watch the shadows dancing around him. Sadness passed his eyes for a moment before looking up at me, his eyebrows meeting when he saw me staring.
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
Yohan scowled. “I don’t know if you’re flirting with me or making fun of me.”
“Just to be clear, I’m flirting.”
“You’re not doing a great job at it.”
This time it’s my turn to frown, and for the time since we’ve met, Yohan laughed. A loud one. It sounds like music to me, and the more I listened the more I’m drawn towards him.
After dinner, Yohan and I decided to watch the stars while waiting for the meteor shower. It’s hours away but it’s better to spend the remaining hours with your crush rather than going to sleep. Yohan was talking about constellations, the galaxy... everything he knows about the universe.
I’m lying to my side now, watching him talk endlessly about what he loves. He’s burning with passion, so full of energy. He’s often quiet, but when he’s given the chance to pour his thoughts and feelings... he’ll make it rain. Yohan has so much to say, and he only needed someone to listen.
“The position of the constellations changes every month. As the earth spins, the stars move across the night sky from east to west.”
“Do the stars change?”
Yohan shakes his head. “Only their position, but we see the same group of stars at the same time each year.”
“We can’t see most of the constellations from our hemisphere unless you have a telescope,” he told me, smiling broadly at the sky. Like an excited child, he point at the sky. “But we can see the Orion from here. Do you see that?”
“Yeah, I can see,” I replied without looking. “I can see it clearly.”
“Next time I’ll bring a telescope,” he told me, still smiling to himself. “You can identify Orion by the three stars that makes up his belt. Next to the constellation is Canis Major and Taurus.”
“Did you know the constellations had its own stories?”
This time, Yohan turned to look at me. He lie to his side with his hand supporting his head.
“Orion’s story has many versions though. Some said he was born from a buried bull hide on which three gods had urinated, and there’s one that says he’s the son of Poseidon,” I told him, looking straight into his eyes as he stare into mine. I found myself smiling when I realize he’s listening intently. “But one things’s for sure, he’s a fearsome hunter who faced many ferocious beasts. When he died, he was placed among the stars, where he chases the Pleiades and while he’s pursued by Scorpio, the scorpion who killed him.”
“Orion’s a brave man.”
“Was he always?” I ask, thoughtfully looking up at the sky. “What if there was once a time he was scared to face his foes, and at some point he felt like giving up?”
“He’d still brave,” Yohan replied.
“Why would he be?” I ask, chuckling.
“Because he knows he’s scared and yet he continue to battle. Being brave is not about the absence of fear, it’s about having the courage to be vulnerable in spite of it.”
I was left in awe with his words. That alone told me so much about his mindset, and it made me more drawn to him. There are some changes that are too scary to face, and I’m afraid this sudden development would end up hurting me. I have to remind myself that it’s still November.
Yohan laughs as he shakes his head. “I don’t know who said that though.”
“Good sir, I’ll remember your words,” I teased, bowing my head slightly for a curtsy. But my heart sank at the thought of what will be the end of our story.
I’m afraid something this good... would end up in ruin. Like the last time.