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SHADOWCAT'S POV
By the time Wally and I make it back to the living room, Halo, Brion, Tara and Forager have moved back into the house. Dick and Lily weren't here though.
A few seconds later, Jake and Alex follow, and I take in the group in front of me.
"Okay, this is a bit cramped." I say, causing them to look to us.
"Yeah... where exactly are we all planning on staying?" Jake asks.
Artemis frowns before looking to Wally.
He looks like he is going to protest before he sighs and says, "Fine, what's a few more. Not like we are already living with Will and Lian." He mutters the last part, causing me to smile.
I will have to see her before I leave again. The thought makes my smile fall as quickly as it came.
"Great!" Artemis claps her hands together, "Then it's decided, Halo is already staying with us, and Tara you can too."
Tara smiles appreciatively, and Halo squeals at the news and says, "Oh, it will be so fun! You most meet Lian and Will, they are amazing."
Tara smiles at her in response, but I can tell it isn't genuine. I don't blame her, considering her being with the shadows for a while.
I look out the window, my eyes finding Dick and Lily in a field of flowers with Wolf close by.
Dick is smiling at her, saying a few things that make her smile too as they pick some flowers.
I look away, looking to Wally, who seems to already be reading my thoughts as he mutters, "Go."
I nod and manage to sneak out of the room without anyone noticing, them too busy deciding where to put everyone.
When I get outside, I take a deep breath, the air feeling crisp as wind picks up slightly.
I turn my attention to Dick and Lily and without overthinking it, I walk up to them.
He is crouched down next to her, showing her a ladybug on his finger, a smile on his face as he watches her watching the bug.
I try not to draw attention to myself, but Lily almost seems like she senses me as she turns to look at me, her smile never wavering.
I glad she can still smile after what she has been through. The thought that she was supposed to be turned into a monster to be killed... I can't think about it.
Dick notices her movement as follows her gaze, his smile faltering when he realizes it's me.
I pretend I don't notice as Lily runs up to me, holding her hand out with a large amount of flowers in her small hand.
"Thank you," I say before I take them and straighten up.
Wolf comes to greet me, nudging me forward slightly, causing me to laugh and scratch him behind his ears.
Lily watches him with fascination, and I say, "Why don't you and Wolf go hunt for more flowers?"
She nods and pets him, despite him being almost as tall as her.
Wolf nudges her this time, into the field, and she giggles.
I can't help but smile. She laughs sometimes, but it's so rare that anytime I do hear it, I can't help but just be happy for her.
When they are far enough away, I move next to Dick, his eyes not meeting mine, his body not moving toward me like you used to, but not moving away either.
I guess that's good.
"She's so young." He says, his eyes on her as he crosses his arms.
I surprised me that he said something first, so it it takes me a moment to respond before I say, "She is six, almost seven. When I saw her..." I clench my fists subconsciously, "I just couldn't leave her. Not with just anyone and when she would stay with Aqualad... I didn't feel like I had a choice."
I'm not sure why I explained it again. I just needed to. I needed him to hear the words again and to let him know that I would purposely endanger her life. That I didn't want kids involved in the game we play and that despite us starting at a young age, I didn't think it was right.
"She loves you. I don't think you would have even had a choice regardless." He says, and I keep from outwardly reacting, though his words make me feel better.
We aren't fighting. We are being civil. And gosh I missed hearing his voice.
We sit in silence for a few moments, both of us unsure what to do next, how not to set the other person off.
When I decide I can't take the silence anymore, I decide to break it,"How... how is Damian?" I ask hesitantly.
I wanted to keep contact with him. I wanted to tell him everything, but I knew him. Damian Wayne wouldn't have let me do anything on my own after everything we went through.
Dick keeps his eyes on Lily running in the field, a smile on her face as Wolf follows her.
He doesn't respond for a moment and I feel my heart drop. Damian probably hates me. It was him and me in that stupid place and I left him then and I left him now.
"He blames me," He says at last, before he adds, "Sometimes he blames himself. He doesn't say it, but he does. He makes comments about him not being good enough." My eyes soften at that and Dick finally looks at me. He finally looks at me. He studies my face in a way he hasn't in so long that it makes me nervous.
He turns away a moment later and says, "Which is pretty scary considering he runs around calling everyone else inadequate because he is the 'blood son.'" He jokes, causing me to smile a bit as I think about the spikey haired boy.
"He just has to adjust," I defend, half joking.
This was a conversation we had many times before. We both watched over Damian and his transition to a society not run by a crazy man or assassins at every corner.
Bruce tried to reason with him most days, and he did teach him that killing wasn't the answer, but when he couldn't get through to him, he knew Dick could.
Dick is almost like a second father to him. I don't think he realized it, maybe he still doesn't, but he is. He and Damian have a bond I don't think anyone was expecting. He spends most of his time as Robin to Dick's Batman when Bruce is doing league business.
None of the others knew that of course, but I could tell they loved it when they would come back from patrol. They were almost like how Bruce and Dick were. They balance each other out.
And Dick knew that if he couldn't get to him, if he couldn't make Damian understand, I could.
Damian and I met at the lowest point in my life and has been with me ever since. I was surprised he even cared if I lived. He chose to live with Bruce after his Grandfather was 'killed' at the Light's summit which was crashed by the Team.
When his Grandfather was saved and he was planning on using me again, Damian insisted on living with Bruce and Talia agreed he could learn from him.
She didn't realize he was coming to warn me. I didn't know either, I didn't know he cared. But he said I showed him humans are different from the world he was shown. That he believed in me and while he didn't understand my need to not kill anyone, he wanted to.
"He is getting better," He says after a long pause, snapping me out of my thoughts. He glances to me, the sun shining over us, making his eyes seem so light they almost look icy. "He is even starting to make friends at school."
I smile at that. A few months before I left we both took him to school. It was his first time going to public school and he was grumbling almost the whole drive.
Dick took an obnoxious amount of pictures of him, insisting they were for memories, but I knew he also wanted to push Damian's buttons a bit like any older brother would.
"I never thought we would see the day," I say before realizing I shouldn't have used 'we'. It's a force of habit.
I know he notices too, the muscle in his cheek twitching, but he doesn't try to correct me.
"How are the others?" I ask, taking my eyes off of him to look at Wolf and Lily.
She is putting leaves and flowers in his hair, him letting her do it without a second thought as he watches Dick and I from their spot.
"Tim is good. Sleep deprived and working hard. So basically the same," He says almost as a joke, but his tone isn't quite right for it. "Jason is... Jason. Hazel keeps him from getting too bad."
"I bet," I smile at the memories I have with both of them. They seem like the perfect match.
He waits to see if I am going to say anything else before he says,"Alfred is good. The best of us like always. Hazel and Katie are good as far as I know. Barbara recovered and is doing great now," His words cause my eyes to fall to the ground.
I was there when she had her accident. I remember the fear in me, in everyone as we tried to help her.
I remember the anger I felt after we realized who Cassandra was and how I wanted to go after Ra's al Ghul for it. And I remember Dick and Barbara refusing to let me, refusing to let me kill him but in that moment I wanted to.
I didn't know he wasn't the one that gave the order, and I'm not sure if I even cared. He hurt one of my friends. One of my family. And I was angry. So angry. And so scared. Because Barbara was hurt permanently, and I felt helpless and scared that someone else would get hurt.
"Stephanie and Cassandra are the same. Steph is corrupting her a bit with the help of Katie." He says and does smile a bit at this, shaking his head slightly. "And Bruce is Bruce. Always focused on the mission and keeping everyone safe before he focuses on himself." He pauses, his smile fading before he looks to the ground and then looks away from me. He takes a deep breath before adding, "Biscuit is good too. He misses you, but..."
My head snaps to his, my eyes looking at him and I wish he would look at me.
He kept Biscuit. I assumed Biscuit would have gone back to Selina or he would have given him to Damian. But he kept Biscuit. He kept my cat.
Despite it being such a small piece of information, it hit hard. Like maybe there is a chance I could fix this, that we could be we again.
I open my mouth to say something, anything, but close it as Lily runs up to us, Wolf following her.
She smiles up at us, her eyes looking between us before she takes both of our hands and starts leading us back to the house.
"Lily?" I ask, causing her to pause. I pick her up and put her on Wolf, petting him for a moment before I say, "Why don't you get a head start and we will be right after you?"
Dick tenses beside me, but I only watch Lily, who nods and Wolf starts walking ahead.
I turn back to Dick, be he is looking anywhere but at me when I say, "Dick-"
"We should go inside too." He says cutting me off, his eyes settling on the house as he walks past me, not waiting for me.
I clench my jaw as I watch him go, not bothering to stop him. He has probably said more to me today than he has wanted and I don't feel like fighting again.
I turn back for a moment, looking out over the fields, hugging myself. A light breeze blows my hair slightly, and I close my eyes for a moment, welcoming the silence and peace.
When it stops, I open my eyes again and turn to walk back to the house.
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A/N:
they needed to talk a bit. it wasn't everything they needed to say, but i don't think they would have done it any other way than this. too much history and ties to each other to not care about this stuff. dick and lily thooo
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thoughts on everything that was revealed so far? any theories?
favorite part in this chapter?
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thanks for reading, don't forget to vote & comment !!
xoxo, author