"You should sit down"
Rowan's voice was low, sombre. Gravel. Full of possibilities that had Isabella's worry appearing to take over her, in the form of a rapid heartbeat and cold sweat.
She did as told, too numb to protest. Isabella did not even bother to look if the place of dirt where she was sitting was spattered with dark blood as she distractedly settled on the ground.
The silver-haired male took a deep breath, and shot an almost pleading look to Gavriel. The lion vaguely -but firmly- shook his head in denial, and Rowan closed his eyes -for just a second- in resignation. Probably to prepare himself, too.
And as she studied the interaction between them, her mind ran wild. There was nothing worse than her mind creating possible scenarios for her. Because they all were fed by her nightmares. Final. And imposing no overmorrow.
Without giving up, Rowan looked at Lorcan -the tall male was straight-faced, with still a little bit of inoffensive darkness curling at his sharp figure, and his arms crossed over his chest- with a similar expression as the once given to Gavriel. But the dark-haired male did not even glance in Rowan's direction. He just let out a breath, almost a puff, that was enough answer.
She couldn't take it anymore, so with a slightly trembling voice, she asked them. "What is it?" Isabella swallowed. "Is everything alright?"
"No," Rowan breathed. He shook his head, the gesture more to himself, and repeated. Louder and clearer. "No. It is not alright"
"Wh-"
"I will tell you something that we should have informed you of, a long time ago. But I hope, that once I'm done explaining me -ourselves- you will be able to understand why we were wary of speaking of such matters"
Isabella hid her hands under her legs, and bit the inside of her cheek. Strong enough to focus on the pain instead of her fear. "Okay" She nodded.
The four males nodded to each other, and Isabella felt -more than saw- a barrier surrounding them. An invisible shield coming to settle around them, protecting them from exterior threats. And prying, Isabella also knew.
Whatever they were about to tell her, they didn't want anyone else to hear. Especially the creatures breathing in the shadows of the forest.
"I do not know how much Sarah shared of our world in her writings, I also do not know how much of it was true and how much was part of her livid imagination, but I'll tell you what it is the truth of the situation in this world" Rowan claimed, with caution. For her, she was sure. His hands were in fists, and he opened and closed them at his side before continuing. "We are at war"
That single word, one she was too familiar with, rang in her ears. Like a cursed chanting following her wherever she was. Too stunned to speak, Rowan continued after a slow gaze in her direction.
"We, fae, are immortal beings. Perhaps, with too much time in our hands, for we always seem to be at war for no apparent reason. The four of us are from a kingdom known as Wendlyn. It is an expansive territory located in the northeast of our world, with the North Sea in between the closest foreign kingdoms"
"In the past, almost every land used to be ruled by the fae. There was no piece of earth for mortals to own, -but please bear in mind that it was a long time ago- but things changed too quickly. At least, for what someone with centuries to live can consider 'fast'. Mortals reproduced too quickly, and in the span of one decade to the other, their cultures, morals and ideals changed drastically" The story was almost like an ugly-true fairy tale told by a mythical thing. Isabella listened carefully, and ignored the familiarity of his tale. "Many of our kin had children with mortals, and their offsprings were something new. Raw. And unconventional. Some of them were almost the same as their mortal parentage, while others were identical to their fae blood. But most...were an unprecedented mix of both"
"With this new novelty, the world was suddenly filled with mortals who could wield magic to do their binding, faeries who aged and perished in mere decades, and a new, strong wave of opposition sown in conventionalism. Fear of the unknown, and mainly, a fear for losing the distribution of power and riches" Rowan's voice was filled with bitterness, once Isabella recognized in her voice when she spoke of her world's history. "So, naturally, war broke. The sides were a bit of a blur, but for the most part, it was known as the Fae against Humans. Their offsprings were in between, practically unaccepted by both sides, so there's not much to say of them"
"It is hard to say who won the war, because the Fae had been weakened by decades of reproduction with humans. And mortals were stronger for the drop of magic in their blood, and their wider numbers. The answer of who came out with the victory will depend on who you ask, but, if we had to remain objective, it is best to say that no one won. But perhaps no war can be won with the loss of blood"
Isabella tasted blood in her mouth, but she did not stop herself from biting her cheek. She welcomed the pain as much as the honesty in Rowan's voice.
"So, in order for the masacre to stop, a peace treaty was signed. The Fae did not want to live among humans anymore, and since mortals could reproduce faster than fae ever would, it was agreed to give them their own kingdoms. For them to rule. The Fae left the continent, and went back to their motherland -Wendlyn-; a place big and rich enough for all of our kin. Therefore, the fae happily isolated their kindred from humans, and mortals had to feign for themselves without our help"
"That has continued till this day. Fae and humans do not mix, and if they do, it is not well looked upon. But the problem with our kind, is that, apparently, we cannot even have peace among ourselves" Rowan said, with almost an angry growl in his words. "Wendlyn had always been ruled by the Whitethorns, for rumors claim they are the only direct descendants of Our Gods. That does not matter, anyways. A millennium ago, a good number of fae families raised against our Queen -Elvenia- and organized a dethronement. Queen Elvenia fought against them, and in the middle of a battlefield, days before her death, managed to name her successor: Princess Sellene" Was that pride in Rowan's voice as he spoke of people who were his distant ascendants? Isabella was sure it was. "Luckily, Fae believed -and still do- strongly in Our Gods, so they supported their new Queen. The opposition sided with those who had tried to take the throne, and Wendlyn was divided"
"War has reigned since then. We fight and scheme in order to destroy our opponents. Not only because they want the throne that is not rightfully theirs, but because we know their ways and the kind of kingdom they'd have. And, believe me, Isa, nobody in their right mind would align with them" The strength -not directed at her- in his words stunned her. Even more than the nickname he had never called her before.
"When I found you, I thought you were a spy sent by the Novyk -that's the name of the family that started the war, and the name taken by those who stand by their cause- to learn our strategies and destroy us from the inside out"
Surprise widened her eyes, and she hurried to say. "Well, I'm not. I had never even heard of them before"
Rowan nodded. "We know that now, but we didn't before. We thought it was weird that they would use a mortal to get into our camps, but then we thought it was a brilliant idea because we would have never expected it from them since the Novyk is known to hate humans" His expression was raw, as if he were begging her to see the truth in his eyes. The plea. The understanding. And forgiveness. "I thought it was weird you didn't speak our language -or any we knew of- but we couldn't be too cautious. So we called for Remelle. I -we- didn't even know about Sarah walking into another word or her writing and books. I -we- thought you were a spy and that you wanted to see as all dead, that you were pretending to be good and to not know anything, but then you explained the truth"
Isabella could remember the wariness when they looked at her, the information they kept to themselves instead of sharing it -even something as simple as to where they were going-, and mostly, Rowan's reaction to her confession. The way he had reacted afterwards.
Finally, many things made sense.
"We couldn't trust you, or be too sure, because war is all we have always known. But you seemed so honest, too broken to be lying, but we needed to make sure. So we organized 'our trip to find more people like you' as a means to fool you into believing you had tricked us and try to see if you could unconsciously guide us or reveal some of our enemies' plans. But then you got bitten, and it didn't make any sense. Because why would the Novyk send a girl who didn't know they had to fight? Who couldn't even defend herself against a basic creature like the one who attacked us that time? Even if you had gotten hurt on purpose, as to not reveal your cover, your reaction after Kilax healed you was proof enough that you were not lying"
Isabella processed his words. They hadn't believed her. They had thought of her as a spy. And that's why they had treated her the way they had. And despite it all, they had clothed her, fed her, and healed her time after time.
She was not mad at them for thinking that way of her. Not when she understood. Not when it made sense. And not when she could see the regret and agony so plainly visible in Rowan's eyes. Voice. Words. Face.
"Kilax showed you my past. I supposed there were even less doubts after that" She told them, flatly. They all nodded. "Why are you telling me this now? We left Kilax's home weeks ago" It was not an accusation. Just curiosity.
Rowan's blink was slow, but it was Gavriel who answered her. "We wanted to tell you, then, but we thought you were not ready. We wanted you to recover fully before we could throw all of our shit at you" His voice was brittle. "You deserved a bit of peace before more war. Especially when you had nothing to do with it. You didn't deserve to get involved with our baggage"
Isabella swallowed. "Why are you telling me, then?"
"Because you also deserve the truth" Lorcan spat out before anyone else could say something else. And she knew he meant every word.
She nodded. "I understand. Thank you for telling me"
They all blinked. In disbelief. And shock.
"Is that it?" Fenrys asked.
Isabella shrugged. "Seems like it"
"Girl, hold a grudge. We deserve it"
She couldn't help it. Isabella laughed loudly at that. Her head was thrown back and her mouth widely opened as her whole body shook. "I do know how to hold a grudge. And I do. I'm not a forgiving person, but I understand so many things now" She looked away for a quick second before focusing on the four males again. "And I'm so tired -and I guess I little glad by your confession and reasons- that I cannot bring myself to be mad"
Lorcan shrugged. "It's not like I'd have cared if you were mad, anyways"
Fenrys shoved his shoulder. Hard. "What a terrible liar you are. Just yesterday you were telling us to tell her after buying her a drink so she would not get that mad"
Lorcan scowled. "I never said that"
Gavriel rolled his eyes, "You did"
"I did not!"
"Sure, buddy"
But all Isabella could think of was..."A drink?"
They all turned to focus back on her at that. Fenrys' smile was all naughtiness and recklessness. "Yes, there is a town only a couple of hours away. We were going to go tomorrow morning and tell you there, but someone" He glared at Rowan at that. "Just had to spit it all out like a boy with his mama"
"I honestly thought he was going to say something else, though," Lorcan confessed, looking sideways.
"Is there more to confess?" Isabella asked, her eyes narrowed.
"No," Rowan replied. Quickly. Too quickly. While glaring dangerously at Lorcan's direction. The male, however, pretended not to notice it.
Gavriel cleared his throat before anyone could do or say something else. "Let's keep going. We already lost a lot of time with this conversation. If we have a good rhythm, we may reach town before dawn"
And so they went.
~
The small town was different from the few Isabella had seen so far. For starters, it was bigger.
Unlike the others, the streets' surface was covered in small stones, one close to the other. The floors were clean, even despite the amount of horses and carriages going in and out of the village. Different small shops were either made of bricks or polished wood, with painted signs and clean glasses.
A veil of darkness still painted the sky, but the lighted lanterns on every block were enough illumination for Isabella to admire the liveness of the area.
Gavriel led the way into a high building, named Ostras' Inn. Who Ostra was, Isabella didn't know, but she didn't care much, regardless.
She was given her own room, and like last time, her bed was big enough for her to invite at least two males to accompany her if she had wanted to. The small bathroom had everything she needed, and she allowed herself to savour the hot water and clean bath. Before leaving her to tend to herself, Rowan had handed her a bag full of oils for her hair and body.
"It's from Fenrys" The male claimed, and Isabella took it happily.
Her last pair of clean clothes felt extra good as she changed, and threw herself on the bed.
If she had any nightmares, she told herself she didn't the following morning. Even if the bugs under her eyes said otherwise.
~
A loud bang against her door woke her up. A second later, she heard Fenrys' voice.
"Isabella! Wake up! Breakfast is ready! The cool made waffles!" He sounded like an excited puppy.
And it was true the inn's cook had made waffles. Isabella ate five of them, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lorcan let out a pleased grunt.
"You will not be trained, today" Gavriel announced after he finished with his food.
She frowned, "Why not?" She liked her classes, even if her body protested against it.
The male tilted his head to the side, "It's your free day. Take a break. Enjoy the town or sleep some more" He offered her with a kind smile. "We are in Morath, a well known town in Adarlan. We may not get a chance to visit another place like this once we get back on the road, so we'll remain here for a couple of days. Enjoy them"
Isabella knew for sure the males could travel with no rest for days. Which meant...she didn't want to think about it, so she let it slip through her fingers.
"Okay" She agreed, easily.
And that was it.
She didn't want to think of the enormous sign of trust and freedom they were offering her. Bigger and more meaningful, perhaps, than the words spoken in the night around a magical shield.
No, she definitely didn't want to think about it. About how it made her feel. And what it could possibly mean.
So it also slipped through her fingers.
At her responde, Gavriel leaned closer to her, despite the fact that a table was in between them, and whispered. "Adarlan is a mortals' city, so try not to say our names to anyone, if possible. And do not worry about attackers or threatening magic, you are safe here"
His reassurance warmed her with gratitude, though worrying was like a chronic disease to her, so she would be cautious and wary and be anxious about everything no matter how many sweet words were whispered to her.
But she still felt immensely thankful for his words, and the fact that he probably knew she needed to hear them.
Fenrys let out a sad, dramatic sigh. "I hate going into mortals' towns because I always have to glamour myself to look human"
"So?"
He shot her a horrified look at her indifference. "It means that I have to look less handsome and more ordinary. My face was not made to be lessened"
Isabella eyed him carefully. "You look the same to me"
"That's because 1) you are used to my magic by now and 2) my glamour does not include you"
"Why not?"
"Because you already know my real identity" He responded, with the same tone of voice he would have used to say "Duh".
"Oh" She blinked as she remembered something. "I didn't know fae could do...stuff like that" She said, carefully.
In the books, they hadn't. Not that she remembered.
Fenry raised a single eyebrow, clearly too interested as to not pry. "And what do you know we can do?"
"Shields"
The male groaned, "You know what I'm asking you"
She did, but...Isabella shrugged. "That's what I know"
Fenrys let the topic go, and she sighed in relief. She would have to tell them at some point. But not now.
The platters moved as Rowan stood up, abruptly. "I have things to do. Goodbye" He gritted out, somberly.
Lorcan followed his actions, but before he could leave, the male turned and put one of his big hands inside of one of his pockets. His hand reappeared with a small, brownish bag that he threw for her to catch.
She eyed the bag and male quizzically, and he rolled his eyes in response. "It's money. For you to use. Buy whatever you want. Or don't" He looked away. "I don't care" Though the almost imperceptible blush in his cheeks said otherwise.
Rowan's brows were creased as he looked at his friend, but Lorcan was already striding to the exit. And Rowan followed him.
Isabella opened the bag to find its inside full of gold coins. How much money had he given her?
~
Out of the corner of his eye, Lorcan glared at Rowan. "Remind me why we are doing this, again"
The male didn't look in his direction. "Because I want to"
"And why am I doing it?"
"Because you are as much of a busybody as Fenrys"
"You know I'm not"
Rowan's laugh was sarcastic, and he did look at Lorcan then. "You are," The silver-haired male shrugged. "And also because I asked you to"
It was a miracle that Lorcan was able to contain the amused -and exasperated- sigh that threatened to escape his lips. But he couldn't help himself completely, so he asked. "And why did you ask me to do it?"
Instead of answering, Rowan kicked his leg, and Lorcan howled.
"You have become quite the prowler, and you are not even in your animal form, yet"
"Just shut up and keep looking"
Rowan ignored the amused and entertained look in Lorcan's eyes, so the male did as told. He directed his attention to the inn's doors, waiting for a girl's figure to appear through them to follow her. Rowan said it was just to make sure she was safe. Lorcan thought it was because Rowan was basically worse than a lap dog, now.
If that's what having a male was like, Lorcan wasn't sure he wanted one.
That was a lie, he wanted one, but he knew it was impossible. More improbable than a miracle or a shooting star.
It was hard enough for full fae to have mates, and even harder for half-breeds.
Either way, Lorcan had no expectations or illusions. He knew he would never have one. But Rowan did, and since it had been Lorcan who had practically forced their encounters centuries ago that would end up with them being friends...he had to help him in stalking -protecting- Rowan's mate. Or that's what he claimed.
From his hidden place in the shadows, and his extra shield made of his own darkness, Lorcan waited for Isabella to walk outside.
A few minutes later, when only an old man with too tight pants was the only person to leave the building, Lorcan said. "What if she left from the door at the back?"
"Why would she do that?"
He shrugged. "Don't know. But she could have"
"No," Rowan shook his head. "Let's keep waiting"
"The peak of my career"
Another man came out.
Then a couple with a man wearing a wedding ring, while the woman didn't.
But no sign of Isabella.
"You know, I saw some interesting things in your bag last night"
"Why were you going through my things?"
"I ran out of ink to dye my clothes"
Through slightly gritted teeth, he said. "That ink is supposed to be for tattoos"
"Liar," He said, distractedly. "I know you carry enough for tattoos and for me to dye my clothes"
"I don't"
"You do. I went to your things last night"
"Right" He muttered, though no real anger laid behind those words.
"And that's how I noticed that you carry a lot of oils for your hair and body" Rowan froze at that, but still remained looking at the inn. Lorcan's slow smile was knowing, and pleased. "I didn't know you cared so much about your hair"
"I don't-"
"You are starting to be like Fenrys"
"I said I-"
"Or worse"
"It wasn't-"
"Relax" He chuckled, softly. "I know it was for her"
"She doesn't own anything" He whispered, his words loud enough for only fae ears to hear. He didn't imagine the agony in his friend's voice. "It was the least I could do. I should do more"
"You are doing fine"
"I'm not-"
"Besides," He interrupted him, already tired of listening to him whining about not being good enough for his own mate. "She probably has never had a lover before. She doesn't know how to compare you with, so whatever you do will be good"
"That's not how it works," Rowan snapped.
Lorcan shrugged. "Besides, I saw her touching her hair all morning with a little pleased smile. She seemed more than happy with your little gift. Stop being a cry baby"
Rowan was silent for so long Lorcan thought the conversation was over, but then, his friend said, with so much emotion Lorcan -almost- wanted to disappear. "Thank you for giving her the coins"
"You told me to do it"
"But I gave you another bag. Not the one you gave her. And my bag didn't have that many coins"
"I don't remember and I don't care"
"Liar" And Lorcan could hear the smile in that one word.
~
Isabella walked through the streets of Mortath with a lightness in her steps she had missed. She tried on dresses she didn't buy, eyed books in languages she didn't speak, and listened to the sound of the wind.
With freedom. And magic. And miracles and opportunities and giddiness and openness.
Isabella also didn't notice the hawk with its pine-green eyes glued to her, that followed every step she took with an effortless flap of its wings; watching her from the top of different buildings.
Or the male lurking in a veil of darkness and shadows doing the same.
~
That night Isabella woke up with an unsaid word in her lips, and a nightmare behind her closed eyelids.
Still, she remained in bed.
And eventually, she went back to sleep, with a comforting chant repeating itself in her mind.
~
Rowan saw as she tried on the same light blue dress as yesterday, and still didn't buy it. He could imagine why: she did not feel comfortable in using Lorcan's money. Or anyone's.
So, the following night, when he bought books he knew he was not interested in, and paid a woman from town to wash all of their clothes, he also bought a light blue dress that he quickly hid in his bag.
~
In the days and nights that followed, he saw the way her shoulders did not look so heavy anymore, the growing light in her eyes, the smile that came more and more frequently every day, heard the laugh that escaped her lips without her permission, and the way she grew more comfortable with them than she ever had.
But it was only his eyes that always strayed to hers, hers...hers, hers never did.
Or remained.
~
The dress stayed in his bag, and Rowan only took it out during the nights. When a strong urge to give it -gift it to her-, in person, had him gripping the doorknob of his room.
In the end, it always came back to Rowan's bag.
Another time, he told himself.
Later, he convinced himself.
Some day, he almost prayed.
~
Isabella took a sip of the drink that Fenrys bought for her. It had no alcohol, like she had requested, and like Fenrys had booed.
Four sets of expectant eyes awaited her reaction. So she licked her lips, and forced a "Yummy" to come out of her mind.
Lorcan nodded, approvingly. Graviel smiled, knowingly. Rowan tapped a finger on the table, supportively. And Fenrys crossed his hands behind his head, smugly pleased.
Truthfully, the drink tasted like what it was: apple juice, but the youngest male had looked so excited by buying her her first drink in this world -and in her life- that she made sure to look as if it were the most delicious apple juice she had ever tried.
She knew the four males were drinking alcohol, and by the heated looks three of them were sending some of the women at the inn's bar, she was sure some of them would not spend the night alone in their rooms. With only their hands as company.
Isabella had also noticed the looks some of the men in the room had shot in her direction, but she was not interested. Not at all. So she drank her apple juice, content with that.
"One more round of drinks!" Lorcan ordered.
"Go," Gavriel shoved Fenrys in the bartender's direction.
"Why me? I have already gone the last five times"
"I think you mean all times" Isabella murmured against her glass.
"Because you are the youngest, and you must serve us" Lorcan said, a little too slow due to the alcohol.
"I don't want to go" The youngest complained.
"Go or I'll tell kidnap your skin oils"
A gasp and a narrow of his eyes. "You wouldn't dare"
"Try him," Gavriel smirked.
Fenrys came back less than ten minutes later with their drinks.
And so did he five more times.
He did until the alcohol in their blood was as noticeable as their beauty. Glamour or no glamour.
"I'll take your mother to bed" Fenrys said when Lorcan made fun of the wolf's hair.
"My mother is dead"
"Oh"
They all laughed.
"Then your sister"
"I'm an only child"
They all laughed again.
"I want another beer" Fenrys whined.
"Me too,"
"Go get us some beers, then"
"You go," Lorcan refused.
"No," Fenrys shook his head. "You go"
"No. You go"
"Nuh"
"Yes,"
"I will not, and I'll bed your mother"
"My mother is dead"
And they started laughing again.
"So is mine" Fenrys added between laughs. Then, his eyes widened and he looked at her, but spoke to the others. "Isabella said I had a twin in her world"
"Really?" Gavriel wondered.
"I said Sarah wrote that,"
Fenrys nodded, "And she said Rowan had a mate! And so did Lorcan! Oh, and Gavriel was dead!" The three males spat their drinks at the wolf's words.
"Bullshit" Lorcan gritted.
"Damn," Gavriel chided.
"Dear Gods" Rowan mumbled.
"I have a mate," Lorcan marveled.
"I'm dead" Gavriel announced.
Rowan only stared at her. She eyed him, confused.
Fenrys nodded, effusively, and then he seemed to grow sad. At that, Isabella leaned closer to the male across the table, and asked him. "Fenrys, are you okay?"
The male shook his head.
"What is it?"
He sniffled.
"Are you crying?"
He nodded.
"Why?"
"My twin is dead"
"You don't really have a twin" She reminded him.
"Oh, you are right" He blinked, and for a second, seem to go back to his brighter mood before his eyes watered again.
"Why are you sad now?"
"Gavriel told me not to tell you"
She leaned back in her seat, surprised, and look at said male. "Did he?"
Gavriel shook his head, "I don't remember" He said, really looking confused. And too drunk. He looked at Fenrys, "What did I tell you not to tell her?"
"That Isabella is leaving"
And then, Fenrys started crying.
"I am?" She asked. Stunned. Puzzled.
Fenrys nodded as he wiped away his drunk tears. "Rowan said you were leaving"