CHAPTER SIX
“H’wag dito, please. . .” Erica said in a trembling voice, her words laced with uncertainty and fear.
It's really irritating and confusing to think about why Erica would lie. What's driving her to hide the truth? Is there something she's not telling us, something we don't know about?
Nabubulag siya dahil sa lalaking meron siya ngayon pero. . . paano kung bigla siyang iwan? Paano na si Erica ngayon?
Sobrang nakakalito ang lahat ng bagay. Lahat mahirap. Lahat masakit. Lahat magulo. Halos lahat manloloko na. Paano kung mangyari sa akin iyon? Kanino ako kakapit? Sino ang masasandalan ko?
"Ano’ng h'wag dito?!" Biglang sigaw ni Lyzza sa sobrang galit, bumabalot ang boses niya ng poot. "Louisse, alam mo ba ang ginagawa mo?!"
I approached Lyzza, reaching out to tap her shoulder gently, hoping to soothe her. “Lyzza, kalma muna. Nakakahiya kung rito kayo magsigawan.”
As someone abruptly entered the ladies' room, a tense silence enveloped us. Lyzza's eyes locked onto Erica with intensity, while Erica fought to contain her tears. Lyzza appeared ready to speak, but she struggled to control her emotions. As the woman entered the cubicle, she approached Erica without hesitation.
Lyzza responded with a calm demeanor, yet her voice still carried an undertone of anger. "Erica, if you don't want to join us, that's fine! But if you do, just let us know in advance so we can plan accordingly. Pero magsinungaling at gawin mo kaming tanga, ibang usapan na ‘yon!”
I shook my head, torn between deciding whom to focus on. My gaze darted between them, uncertain of whose words to trust. Each utterance added to the tension, hanging heavily in the air.
"Gusto ko man sabihin sa inyo kaso—" putol na sabi ni Erica.
"Kaso ano? Natatakot ka? Naduduwag ka?!" inis na tugon ni Lyzza. "Putangina naman! Natatakot kang sabihin ang totoo, pero hindi ka man lang natakot sa sarili mong magtago ng katotohanan. Ayos ka, ha!"
"Tandaan mo ang araw nito, Erica—"
Nakapikit si Lyzza at huminga ng malalim.
Hindi niya maipagpatuloy ang sasabihin niya. Tumingin ako sa kanyang ibaba at nakita ang pagkuyom ng kanyang mga kamao. Kitang-kita na pinipigilan ni Lyzza ang kanyang galit dahil alam niyang kaibigan pa rin niya si Erica.
“Tara na nga, Shain!” kinuha ni Lyzza ang aking kamay at hinala niya ako palabas ng ladies room.
Lyzza gripped my hand tightly as she pulled me out of the ladies' room, her anger evident even in her silent determination. Exiting, I felt the lingering tension between us, but also a comforting reassurance in her touch. Kenzo glanced at our linked hands with surprise before regaining his composure and following us out. Then, he playfully pinched me on the back of my head, eliciting a weak moan of pain.
"Masakit! Masakit, gago ka!" inis kong hinarap si Kenzo. "Napano ka ba?" tanong ko sa kanya nang may galit at pag-aalala.
Napailing na lang sa kanya sa naging sagot nito. Sa totoo lang, sobrang gulo ng araw ngayon. Patuloy pa rin kaming naglalakad sa loob ng mall, hindi alam kung saan kami dadalhin ni Lyzza. Habang kami'y naglalakad, bigla kong kinalabit si Lyzza sa braso.
“Lyzza,” mahinang tawag ko.
She glanced at me, a single eyebrow arched in questioning. I was about to speak up, but it was evident that Lyzza wasn't quite ready to talk yet.
Luminga-linga ako sa paligid nagbabakasali makita si Erica sa isang sulok. To be honest, I didn't want to leave Erica alone with that guy. I couldn't bear to leave her here, feeling like this. But at the same time, I was struggling to think clearly. My mind was a jumble of conflicting thoughts, and I couldn't figure out what to prioritize or what action to take.
"Kenzo," siko ko kay Kenzo, na nasa tabi ko. "Kausapin mo nga 'to, baka suntukin niya ako. Galit pa naman siya."
Hanggang ngayon, nakasalubong pa rin ang dalawang kilay ni Lyzza, nakakunot-noo pa rin siya dahil galit pa rin siya sa nangyari. Hindi ko rin alam kung paano na namin aayusin ito ni Kenzo. Pareho kaming naiipit sa sitwasyon, pareho kaming hindi makapag-isip ng maayos. Pareho na naming sila kaibigan pero hindi na namin alam kung ano ang dapat gawin.
“Bakit ako na naman?” nagtatakang tugon ni Kenzo, nakahawak sa kaniyang dibdib na mukhang nagulat. “Ikaw na—”
“May sasabihin ba kayo? Kasi, wala akong naririnig na pinaguusapan niyo ako,” seryosong boses ni Lyzza.
Napatayo ako ng tuwid sa gulat at takot habang hinaharap kami ni Lyzza. Minsan, napapaisip ako kung paano ito magiging asawa kung pati ibang lalaki ay takot sa kanya. Ang tapang, e!
"K-Kasi ano," kinakabahan kong panimula. "Si Erica, paano na siya? Iniwan na natin siya rito?"
Lyzza bit her lower lip, napapailing siya ng ilang beses at tumingin siya sa aking mata. "Isa ka ring tanga, 'no? H’wag niyong alalahanin 'yon. May kasama siya. Kasama niya 'yong lalaki niya."
"Lyzza, pumreno ka sana kahit konti. Hindi naman ako tanga," pilit kong tumawa dahil natatakot ako.
Tumingin siya sa akin ng masama. Kapaga ko talaga sinuntok nito, gaganti naman ako at sabay takbo ng mabilis. Lyzza didn't speak anymore. She seemed lost in her thoughts. Sometimes, she's so hard to read; you never know what's going on in my friend's brain.
"Uuwi na tayo," she said seriously. "Ikaw, Shain? Kung may boyfriend ka na, sabihin mo kaagad sa 'min. H'wag ka lang magsinungaling. Okay na ako du'n."
"Oo naman! Hayaan na muna natin si Erica, at ikaw magpahinga ka muna bago tayo mag-usap tungkol diyan."
I stood there, caught between the tension of two friends in conflict. Feeling torn between two friends in conflict was a familiar but heavy burden. Lyzza's frustration was clear, her eyes filled with anger, while Erica's distress was obvious, her struggle to hold back tears showing her inner turmoil. As they exchanged words, I hesitated, unsure if I should intervene. The charged atmosphere weighed on me, filled with unspoken tension. I felt powerless, knowing I couldn't solve their issues. All I could do was stand by, ready to offer support if needed.
I hate liars!
"You know, you both just need to calm down and try to see each other's perspective," Kenzo said, his tone serious. "Just remember, you both have your reasons for what happened. Lyzza, you were angry because you felt betrayed. Erica, you had your reasons for not showing up. We just need to understand each other."
Kenzo paused for a moment and smiled softly. "That's all we need, isn't it? Erica has her reasons, even if she's not ready to share them yet. We know her, we know she wouldn't do something like this without a good reason. Kilala ko kayong lahat kasi mga kaibigan ko kayo, e."
“Yeah, tama si Kenzo!” Shainny agreed. “May tama rin siya!”
I'll always believe that if someone lies to you, there's a reason behind it. Kaya sobrang hirap alamin kung ano talaga ang totoong rason ng isang tao bakit niya nagawa iyon.
“Magsiuwian na tayo. Hayaan niyo na rin si Erica.” Nakangiting saad ni Lyzza.
“Sige. Pupuntahan ko lang si Erica. Kailangan din ni Erica ng kaibigan sa tabi niya ngayon.” Tugon ni Kenzo.
Kenzo's perspective resonated with me. His impartiality was a defining trait, and as long as he treated us all fairly, it didn't matter if he spent time with other friends. Kenzo remained true to himself, regardless.
Exiting SM Clark, a sudden unease gripped me, though I couldn't pinpoint its source. Outside, we ran into Erica standing alone. Our eyes met briefly before she looked away.
"Erica!" Kenzo called out, breaking the silence. "Hintayin mo ako.
Lyzza and I exchanged surprise glances at Kenzo's sudden call to Erica, noting the tension in the air as she crossed her arms defensively.
"Nga pala, Mauna na ako. Sasabay na ako kay Erica. Wala siyang kasama pag-uwi,” Paalam ni Kenzo. “Text kayo kapag nakauwi na kayo, ah!”
Tumango na lang kami ni Lyzza bilang sagot. Bigla ako may nahalata ngayon kung bakit hindi niya kasama ang lalaki ngayon? Ano’ng nangayari? Gago ‘yong lalaki! Hindi ko pa siya kilala ng lubos pero napipikon na ako sa lalaki na ‘yon!
Just a while ago, they went back home. Feeling restless, I opted to visit Nepo Quad to kill time. As I walked through the area, I sensed the lively vibe that filled the air. The gentle breeze brushed through the trees, creating a calming sound with the rustling leaves. People of all ages were bustling around, each busy with their own tasks, adding to the lively ambiance.
I wish I could have experienced that when I was young.
Families spread out on blankets, enjoying picnics amidst the green grass, while others engaged in energetic dance rehearsals, their movements synchronized with the rhythm of upbeat music. Joggers weaved through the pathways, their determined strides adding a sense of purpose to the scene.
As I watched the bustling crowd, a sense of nostalgia washed over me. I couldn't help but reminisce about my own childhood, Kung narito pa kaya sina Mama at Papa, mararanasan ko rin kaya ang saya ng pagkakaroon nila sa tabi ko? Mararanasan ko ba ang masayang pagkakasama-sama namin sa ganitong lugar?
Sarap siguro sa pakiramdam na may magulang na laging handang umalalay sa'yo. Sobrang sarap sa pakiramdam siguro nun. Kaso—sila mismo ang nang-iwan sa akin.
Ako, hindi ko naranasan habang tumatanda ako. Lumaki ako na may pait sa puso para sa Papa ko.
Lost in my thoughts of longing for my parents, I was startled when a hand appeared before me, offering a handkerchief.
"Here, wipe your tears." a gentle voice said, belonging to the man seated beside me on the stone chair.
Accepting the handkerchief, I struggled to see his face through the blur of tears clouding my vision.
"Why are you crying?" he inquired, concern evident in his voice.
"It's nothing, just lost in thought," I replied with a forced laugh, attempting to brush off the gravity of my emotions. It felt awkward to share my feelings with a stranger.
"Does it hurt?" he persisted with another question.
Glancing at him, I finally saw his face clearly, devoid of tears but reflecting a depth of emotion.
"No, I'm fine," I began, but he interrupted me.
"Does it hurt to pretend you're okay?" his inquiry was earnest, striking a chord within me.
Turning to face him, I sensed a shared heaviness in his gaze, his sincerity cutting through the facade of strength.
"Not really. You learn to adapt," I replied with a bitter smile, masking the pain that lay beneath.
Returning my smile, he spoke softly. “You don't always have to maintain a facade of strength. How much longer do you plan to carry on like this?"
His words pierced through my defenses, and suddenly, tears streamed down my cheeks, each drop a testament to the hidden anguish I carried. With each tear shed, I was reminded of the weight of my loneliness and heartache.
"Siguro, tama ka. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ko dadalhin at magkukunwaring okay ang lahat. Masakit at mahirap din. . . kasi kahit anong pilit ko, masasaktan din ako ng paulit-ulit" my voice cracked because of the pain I feel. "Kahit sabihin kong h'wag ko na isipin, maiisip ko pa rin dahil nangungulila ako sa pagmamahal nila."
I felt a comforting arm enveloping me, its gentle strokes soothing my distressed state. Resting my head against his shoulder, I surrendered to the tears, finding solace in his supportive presence. He offered me his unwavering support, his reassuring words resonating deeply within me.
"Don't worry, I'm here for you. Everything will work out in the end. If only I could carry your pain, I would," his voice resonated with empathy as he continued to massage my back, calming my troubled heart.
"I'll remain by your side until you find peace," he pledged, his commitment echoing in the comforting embrace.
"S-sorry kung nasasaktan pa rin ako ng paulit-ulit dahil sa nangyari sa buhay ko noon." I murmured softly, "But. . . Thank you for being here with me, Lance."
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