"So." Ms. Porter started. "This is your last class right?"
"Yes." I nodded.
"Ok, good."
"Why?" I asked. "Are you planning to keep me here for the whole day?"
A small chuckle escaped from Ms. Porters lips. "If I have to."
I couldn't help but smile a little bit. "Well, let's hope you don't have to."
Ms. Porter sat down at her desk and crossed her arms before letting our eyes meet. An uncomfortable feeling arose in my chest.
"So, Izzie."
"So, Ms. Porter."
She rolled her eyes a little bit but I could tell it was a playful one. "Are you going to tell me what's going on with you?"
"Nothing is going on with me." I replied.
"At this rate you could get a phd in lying." Ms. Porter said.
"I'd make a lot of money."
"So you admit you're lying?"
Sneaky bitch, I thought to myself. "No."
This time her eye roll felt more serious. "I'm just here to help you."
"Sure." I said maybe a little too snarky.
"Why don't you trust me?"
"I barely know you."
"Yes, you've already said that before but I feel like you don't trust people in general, not just me. Why?"
I sighed. "Because every single person in my life has showed me that people are not to be trusted."
"I'm sorry people have made you feel that way. Do you want to tell me what caused you to feel that way?" Ms. Porter asked.
"Not really." I mumbled.
"I understand." She nodded. I could tell she felt defeated not getting through to me and I couldn't help but feel bad.
"People suck you know." I said, not knowing what else to say.
"Not everyone does." She said.
"But most do."
"Maybe, yes, but once you'll meet the right people you won't feel that way anymore."
"Maybe." I replied.
"Do you miss home?" She asked.
"Not really."
"You don't miss your parents and your friends?"
"Sure, I miss my friends, but not my mom. I feel suffocated around her, so for once I can finally breathe."
"Do you want to talk about your mom?"
"No. Talking about her makes me angry."
She just nodded. "Okay, then I won't ask."
"Thanks." I quietly said. "It feels like you're interrogating me." I awkwardly said.
She laughed. "Oh, I didn't mean to. I'm just trying to figure out what's going on inside that head of yours."
"But why?" I genuinely asked. "Why do you so badly want to know about me?"
She sighed. "Because, there is just something about you that tells me there's more to you than what you show. I don't want to get angry with you every time but it feels like you're purposefully crossing boundaries and I know it's not because you're pretending to be tough. There's more to it."
"But why do you care?" I asked.
"You're my student. You were sent here all the way from the United States. I want to look out for you."
For some reason I believed what she said. I don't know why, but I just did. "Well that's nice of you."
"I'm a nice person."
"I didn't say that."
"Rude." She laughed.
"I also didn't say you weren't."
"Fair enough." She said while holding eye contact a little longer.
"Why did you start teaching at this school?" I asked.
"We are here to talk about you, not me."
"So you want to know everything about me but I can't ask you anything?"
"Basically." She said.
"That doesn't seem fair."
She sighed. "I'm a teacher, I love teaching, that's why I started working here."
"Surely that's not the only reason. Why a boarding school, why not just a regular high school?"
"You're starting to sound like me." She laughed. "But I guess I chose a boarding school because more complex kids go here so I volunteered to work as a councilor as well. That way my degree in psychology isn't a total waste, and I want to provide the students a place to go to if they ever need help."
"Interesting. I'd like to maybe study psychology as well after high school." I said.
"Really?" She said.
I nodded. "Really. Although criminology also peeks my interest's."
A smile appeared on Ms. Porter her face. "That sounds interesting. You should definitely go for it."
"Maybe I will." I replied, shooting her a smile back.
"So, are you married?" I asked her.
"Ok." She laughed. "Enough questions for today. You may leave, and don't let me catch you with those nasty cigarettes again."
"I'll try, ma'am." I said as I stood up from my seat.
"See you tomorrow, Izzie." She chuckled.
"You never answered my question." I pouted.
"Shoo, out." Ms. Porter motioned.
"So boring." I joked. "Bye miss, or missus, who knows."
I left the classroom and could faintly hear Ms. Porter laugh, making my lips curl up. I had been enjoying our conversation if I were being honest. I thought I would get in trouble but she was actually really nice and finally didn't go all teacher on me.
•
"Yes, mother." I said through the phone.
"You keep in contact, okay?" My mom said.
"I will. Bye."
"I love you."
"Yea, I know. Bye."
I hung up the phone and let my arms fall down my body onto the bed. Talking to my mom always seemed to put me in a bad mood and I tried to fight it but it never worked. She just always pushed my buttons.
I felt trapped in this boarding school with no where to go. I knew we were allowed to leave the school premises on the weekends, but it was only monday and I felt like I had nothing to do and nowhere to go. It was nearly 9pm and the sun had already set. Allie was doing homework and I wanted to ask her to do something but I didn't want to disturb her.
"I'm gonna go smoke a cig outside." I said to Allie.
"Alright." She smiled. "Don't get caught this time."
I laughed. "I'll try not to."
I quietly made my way downstairs and took the same route the girls and I took yesterday. I wasn't exactly sure why we weren't allowed to go outside after 8pm but I wasn't planning on getting caught.
I sat down at what had become my standard spot. I didn't know what I was gonna do outside. I was just bored. Out of my mind bored. I lit a cigarette and scrolled through my instagram feed. I scrolled through the pictures my friends back home had posted. They were laughing and smiling and generally seemed happy. I smiled at the sight of them. It made me both happy and sad to see them living their lives without me. I missed them.
"Hi stranger." A familiar voice said.
I smiled a little recognizing the voice to be Chelsea's. I turned my head and greeted her back. "Well hello there."
She sat down next to me. "Why are you outside all by yourself?"
"Just needed to clear my head." I replied.
"Oh I'm sorry. Do you want me to leave?"
"No, no." I reassured her. "Please stay."
She smiled. "Tell me what's on your mind, pretty girl."
"Nothing is on my mind." I lied.
"Iz, I don't have to know you for a long time to see that something is bugging you."
I sighed. "I just miss home, I guess. It's hard seeing all your friends move on without you."
"I'm sure they miss you as much as you miss them." Chelsea said.
"I'm just scared that they're gonna forget about me the longer i'm gone."
"They won't. I promise."
I smiled. "Let's hope so."
"It'll get better you know." She grabbed my hand. "The first 2 weeks are the hardest, after that you'll slowly start to find your place at this school, make friends and feel more comfortable. Trust me, I've been there."
"Thank you." I smiled. I really did appreciate her kind words. "How long have you been here?"
Chelsea sighed. "This will be my third year."
"Damn." I exclaimed. "That's a long time."
"Yea." She laughed. I could tell there was some darkness behind her smile.
"Can I ask why? Why are you here?"
Chelsea looked at me and gave me a half smile. "Maybe I'll tell you one day."
I nodded and let my head rest on the tree behind me. We sat in silence for a few minutes before we both decided to go back to our rooms.
When I got to my room Allie was already asleep so I quietly closed the door behind me. I got undressed and put on my big t-shirt and headed to the bathroom. I turned on the tap and let the water run through my hands. I cover my face with my water filled hands and let the cold rinse my skin.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I didn't recognize the girl staring me down in the reflection. She looked more pale and skinnier than usual and the circles under her eyes were dark and deep. You could tell she was tired. She was in pain, her eyes gave it away. They looked haunted. She had been fighting for a long time. Maybe for too long. When was it enough? When did she get to stop fighting?
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A/N: sorry for the short and somewhat dull chapter i haven't been super motivated to write. the next chapter will be longer and hopefully better :)