Jungkook blankly stared at the wall in front of him. He felt dizzy. Even though he tried to pay attention to the flames burning in the fireplace, he turned it to something else after a while. At this time, loneliness was his only company.
He missed those times when the air was filled with the aroma of vanilla sugar and cinnamon, those times when there was a Christmas tree in his living room, and the times when he saw the boxy smile of his boyfriend in the dim light. His sparkly eyes were still full of childish innocence and joy.
He'd pay millions to bring it back. He wanted to enjoy those carefree times he missed so much. Only, he lost it because of himself and his arrogance.
In the last few months, he hadn't done anything with enthusiasm. He had no motivation, optimistic thinking abandoned him too. He felt like a mess when he walked down the streets like a shadow, he lost his efficiency. The guilt in him got stronger day by day.
His lips hadn't shown an honest smile in ages, there were only tears on his porcelain-like skin. While the world was hanging lights and preparing Christmas presents for their loved ones, Jungkook spent long nights sitting on his leather couch, staring from the big window and listening to the sound of firewood turning into ash. He was wondering what his life would've looked like if he could wrap his arms around his black-haired boyfriend and kiss his soft caramel-like tanned skin...
He felt his scent that always made him feel like someone. Not an inferior man without a purpose or a clear direction in his life, but an ordinary person with a benevolent heart. With him, he was able to love to listen to the tinkle of Taehyung's laugh, touch his skin that was just as soft as a cloud. Even though he knew it wasn't possible, his boyfriend brought heaven to him.
In order to push the upcoming anger that started to trigger him deep down, he blindly reached for the glass bottle filled with golden liquid. When he wasn't able to find it, he furiously growled and looked over his shoulder. His gaze fell on an object standing nearby a photograph in a simple black frame.
As he glanced at the picture, the wrinkles on his forehead instantly disappeared and he softened his gaze. He kept staring at the picture for a few seconds before he picked it up instead of the glass of Scotch. He scanned every millimeter of it, not forgetting to notice the perfect appearance of his loved one, his own pale skin, that the harsh weather had no effect on. Even when it had been freezing, the younger never listened and always left his jacket at home.
Jungkook remembered that day perfectly.
＊✿❀❀✿＊*
The Fear Of Letting Go
Drifting away
We're far apart
Can't feel the rain
That floods our hearts
We barely remember love
We barely remember us
How do I win this war alone?
It's like I'm fighting with a ghost
We're two battleships that always miss
But we can't admit
This is the fear of letting go
Fire in the water
Cover your eyes
Can't hear each other
When the ocean cries
We barely remember love
Oh, we barely remember us
How do I win this war alone?
It's like I'm fighting with a ghost
We're two battleships that always miss
And we can't admit
This is the fear of letting go
Drifting away
How do I win this war alone?
It's like I'm fighting with a ghost
We're two battleships that always miss
But we can't admit
This is the fear of letting go
This is the fear of letting go
We barely remember love
Oh, we barely remember us
This is the fear of letting go
This is the fear of letting go