A phone rings at the reception desk.
A robotic woman's voice answers: "Satellite Ninja Fly-Over Fry-By-Nite Death-Ray Lazer Planetary Refuse Management 1st Squadron Mission Control Center. If you know your extension say it now or hold for the next available person for help"....
"Hello, may I help you?"...
"Vinny's Pizza Patrol has arrived at the service entrance with your order."
"Oh good, the pizzas have arrived. We'll be down shortly, and please hold the driver for memory conditioning. Like yesterday's Buddha Banquet delivery person."
From this top secret location, earth's evildoers are zapped from space.
From our own satellite, named the "Zapalotta Evil Lazer" or "ZEL" for short.
It orbits earth every 12 hours.
All employees are given "Eyes only, triple top secret, burn after reading instructions" and non-disclosure agreements to sign.
We bring about space-to-face retribution for their evil actions, no matter where they are.
This Geek-Squad's astro-ad-hoc justice service is provided for the planet's greater good.
One major source of info is the social media at "Lilith's Doom Site".
A list of discovered villains and evildoers and their current locations is compiled and continually updated on our computers.
GPS guided ZEL is then deployed to zap them while they sleep, wherever they are on earth.
So, please keep those texts and emails coming to "Lilith's Doom Site" for our growing list.
This newly established Satellite Ninja Fly-Over Fry-By-Nite Death-Ray Lazer Earth Refuse Management Squadron will continue their critical work.
And with Lilith's help they not only rid our planet of danger from evildoers, but trace those annoying phone callers as well.
ZEL sends them to Hell!
They can't hide from inevitable consequences.
And that tin foil hat thing, only works on alien threats.