"A flower bloomed already wilting. Beginning its life with an early ending." ~ R.J. Gonzales
The Doctor
Angela kneed the officer crudely in the crotch just as he tried to snatch at her wrists, the movement shoving her off-balance. She staggered back, tumbling over Melanie as she crouched over in pain from the woman's previous punch.
The pair fell to the floor just as I rushed to Melanie's side, seeing the entire altercation in slow-motion.
"Melanie, it's okay, it's okay!" I gushed, my gun abandoned on the floor as Aaron called for medics and dropped to his knees beside us.
"Spencer, look." Aaron said in a small voice as we realised Angela had cracked her head on the wooden play-pen on her way down, her eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling, blood pouring from her head, her elbow sticking into our bump.
Melanie too was unconscious, the collision with the floor a lot harsher than I'd initially thought.
"Melanie you're okay, it's okay, Melly..." We managed to move Angela off her body and Melanie began stirring, her hands instinctively fussing over her bump.
"The baby... the baby..." She was mumbling.
"Melly baby listen to me, the baby is fine, okay, the baby is going to be fine." I said in a stern but panicked tone, my arms desperately holding her tighter.
"What the Hell happened?!" Morgan demanded as he and the rest of the team ran inside the room.
"Melly baby, it's okay, it was just a bump." I said.
"Spencer..." Aaron said in a dreaded tone.
"Not now Aaron." I snapped.
"Spencer." He repeated in a low voice and I looked at him with a broad expression.
I looked to where he gestured and noticed blood seeping through Melanie's jeans.
"No," I whimpered, "No... No Melanie no," I cried, tears pooling in my eyes as I sobbed and she continued to moan and wince in my arms.
"The baby..." She moaned, her tearful eyes turning onto mine as my own tears fell onto her cheeks. "The baby..." She whimpered breathlessly. "Save the baby." She choked.
"We're going to save you both, everything's going to be just fine Melly, you're gonna be okay." I said before her entire body spasmed and she cried out in agony.
"Melanie?!" I choked in shock, the white carpet stained with a pool of her blood as she writhed in my arms, sobbing.
"Something's wrong!" She sobbed, gripping my tie. "The baby! The baby!" She yelled as Aaron ran into the room followed by the two medics.
"Sir step aside." The male said.
"This is my fiancé, I'm staying here." I said sternly, my eyes never leaving Melanie's as her tiny hand clutched at my own in desperation.
"Save the baby, please, the baby, save her."
"Sir please." I placed Melanie on the floor and moved aside, my hand still laced in her own.
"Please save the baby." Melanie choked as the medics got her onto a board and lifted her; the four of us rising.
"We'll do our best, ma'am." The male said.
"No, save the baby. Not me, save the baby." She choked, our hands losing touch as we reached the stairs.
I halted at the top as they descended; realising that it may come down to whether my child, or my fiancé lives.
The Daughter
"Ugh," I groaned, the monotonous bleeping by my head making my headache throb even worse. "If I wake up like this again I hope I never wake up again." I joked, my head spinning as I opened my eyes to bright lights and Beth's broken expression as she realised I was awake and got to her feet.
"Don't say that!" She hissed, tears falling from her cheeks as she hovered over me. "I didn't think you were going to wake up this time," She gasped, hugging me tightly.
"Well, I'm here." I winced at the pain that was overwhelming my entire body. "Spencer..." I mumbled as she pulled away.
"Your dad uh..." She avoided my eyes, fumbling with her fingers as she awkwardly stood by the side of my bed. "Your dad is uh... with him... now."
"With him?" I echoed with a confused expression, my hands absentmindedly going to my bump.
"What...?" I pulled myself forward and glanced at my stomach; seeing the sheets over my bump but somehow feeling... different. "Beth, what?!" I looked at her and then back to my stomach before back to Beth again.
"Our bump... My baby... The... The baby... Where?!" She looked to the ceiling in desperation as more tears fell from her eyes. "Where is she? Where's my baby?!"
"I'm so sorry Melanie..." Beth's voice was hardly audible as she looked back at me, her tears flowing faster. "I was hoping your dad would've had him by now and he would've told you himself but..."
"A-a-are they with her?!" I asked desperately, tears rolling down my cheeks. "Please tell me she's okay Beth?" I pleaded desperately and Beth took my hand into the both of her own, looking at me sadly and apologetically, shaking her head as she looked down at her hands before back to my eyes to say,
"I'm so sorry Mel... He didn't make it." I choked a sob and covered my mouth with my free hand hooked to the drip.
"No!" I sobbed.
"I'm so sorry... You miscarried due to the impact. Your baby boy didn't make it."
The Technical Analyst
We were all waiting in the relative's room across the hall when we heard it.
Horrific screaming and sobbing of complete and utter devastation and heartbreak; and that made us all fall apart all over again.
We'd been here for the past thirty-six hours. Forty hours ago Melanie was brought into the hospital for emergency surgery to save the baby. After an emergency section and a blood transfusion, sepsis had set in. The baby had no chance of survival, and Melanie was only alive because of a secondary blood transfusion.
At the same time, Caitlyn had gone into labour and by now had had a baby girl. It was only she and her mother in the delivery room despite the fact Melanie had been her birthing partner.
Spencer had paced the hall outside the theatre, so as soon as Melanie was wheeled out along with the surgeons with no incubator behind her; he knew. He'd been tormenting himself with statistics and probabilities.
So much so Aaron had yelled and they'd argued and he'd been forced to wait in the relative's room alongside Beth and the others.
Morgan was the only one who waited with Spencer, and even then he was completely silent; all of us too shocked and too worried to utter a word.
They'd told Spencer in the middle of the corridor that they'd had to surgically remove the child after establishing it hadn't survived the impact.
We heard Spencer's yells and sobs from the end of the hall, and when we'd rushed out, we'd found him on the floor in the middle of the corridor wrapped in Morgan's arms as he thrashed around angrily; sobbing.
Tears were dripping from Morgan's chin; and when he uttered those dreadful words,
"The baby didn't make it." We all fell apart.
"Is Melanie okay?" I choked and he nodded his head, relief overwhelming me, halting my terror before I realised that all of this preparation; the labour books, the pregnancy manuals, the parenting guides, the maternity clothes, the athlete-slash-self-defence-training, the engagement, the persistency of moving house... All of it... Was ruined.
"She shouldn't have gone in there!" Spencer sobbed, shoving away from Morgan and leaping to his feet. "She shouldn't have left the station!" He cried, storming down the corridor for the door, approaching us before he began swaying dizzily.
"Reid?" Morgan asked, hurriedly approaching him worriedly.
"I'm fine-" He trailed off as he swayed again and collapsed on the floor, completely blacked out.
All the while Melanie was upstairs in her own private room; Beth and Aaron by her bedside; dreading her waking up.
When Spencer had come to, he'd stormed from the hospital in a blazing rage, and nobody was able to keep up with him.
And, as Melanie's heart broke across the hall, I cursed Spencer Reid for not being by her side to hold her hand and kiss her forehead and tell her that it was okay, that she was still here, that she was still alive, and that that was all that mattered because what was a child without a mother, what was that child when his father's heart was completely broken by the devastation of the loss of his fiancé who he'd never got to marry?
But no, instead he was lost somewhere with Hotch; the two of them most likely at each other's throats as Spencer blamed Melanie and Hotch hated him for it.
But that's not the reason for my sobbing into Derek Morgan's arms.
The reason was because my best friend was across the hall screaming in devastation because the child she'd carried for seven and a half months was gone and she was not.
The Mom
First, there was screaming and sobbing and swearing. Then there was thrashing and threats and theatrics. Then, there was just silence.
Just cold-hearted, cold-blooded, cold-rifled silence. She stared ahead, barely blinking as tears ran from her eyes and dripped off her chin in a slow trance.
She didn't speak, she didn't sob, she didn't stop at all. She just sat and stared.
I still held her hand because I knew not to leave her alone, and to be honest, I needed it too.
"Melanie?" Aaron's voice was timid and questioning as he entered the room. She blinked but otherwise didn't react as he gushed, "I'm so sorry!" And ran across the room to her.
He threw his arms around her, crying into her shoulder a bundle of apologies.
Meanwhile, Spencer edged into the room silently, not even looking up at her as he took to the seat on the opposite side of the bed.
Aaron pulled back and ran his hands over Melanie's damp face.
"Is there anything I can get you?" He asked, but Melanie never answered. "Do you need me to get the nurse? Has the doctor checked you over?" Again, more silence.
"He came in about fifteen minutes ago," I explained. "Just after Mel woke up. He's going to up her medication this evening and maybe discharge her tomorrow." Aaron nodded his head and smiled, pressing a kiss to Melanie's forehead.
"You'll feel better once you're home sweetheart." He said as he took to the seat next to her, beside Spencer.
"How do you know what'll make her feel better?" Spencer snapped and Melanie blinked, looking at him for the first time since he entered the room.
"Where were you?" She asked him in a broken voice, betrayal and heartbreak evident in both her tone and expression.
He looked at her, that same angry expression on his face before he dragged his eyes from her face and got to his feet, leaving the room silently.
Aaron got to his feet but I reached across the bed and gripped his arm, shaking my head.
If Spencer didn't want to be here to support Melanie, then fine. But we were going to stay.
Overview
Everywhere was cold. Everything was cold. Everyone was silent. Everything was silent.
Nobody knew what to do. Nobody knew what to say.
It was like they were trapped in a nightmare. One they couldn't awake from no matter how hard they tried.
Once Melanie had awoken, Beth explained she was in no fit state for visitors, and so the team travelled home on a commercial flight; allowing Melanie, Beth, Aaron and Spencer to travel back home on the jet whenever Melanie was discharged.
Beth didn't know exactly when that'd be, especially seeing as the doctors were growing concerned for her physical and mental health.
She'd been awake six hours and still hadn't had anything to eat or drink. She was on an IV but already she was growing jaundice and ill-looking.
Beth ran her fingers through her hair desperately; pulling at the roots as she leaned against the wall outside Melanie's room; trying to gather the strength to go back inside. It was such a tragic time... for everyone.
The entire team had adopted Melanie's bump as a part of them and everyone was planning and preparing for the birth. Melanie was the heart of the team; had been ever since she and her father had established a healthy bond. It was beautiful to see; except in times like these; when it was so tragic and heartbreaking.
Nobody knew what to say or do. And that's what was so goddamn tragic about it. The best minds in America; that's what the BAU was dubbed as. So how come not one of them knew what to do or say to lessen Melanie's pain? That's what Beth was struggling to understand.
And as she thought more about this she grew angry. She thought of the "best minds" and wondered why on Earth the best mind wasn't here. With his fiancé.
She shoved off the wall and pushed down the corridor; her arms folded as she searched the relatives' rooms and waiting rooms along the way, enquiring with the nurses before taking the stairs down to the coffee shop on the ground floor. She knew that Spencer would probably avoid the elevator in case the team were still around and he got trapped with them.
Nobody knew it, but Beth had adopted some of Aaron and Melanie's profiler habits. She knew Spencer better than she let on because he was Melanie's fiancé.
She pushed across the foyer, her court shoes clicking against the flooring making her aware that she was still in her work clothes; not even having the chance to have changed before she left Virginia two days ago.
She didn't need to search the coffee shop because she spotted him immediately without even having to enter.
He was sat up the back, hunched over staring at something in his hands. He had his back to her but she knew it was him due to his floppy hair.
She slumped down into the seat opposite him and took a deep breath; trying to keep it together.
"There's nobody in this world whom Melanie loves more than she loves you," She stated simply and Spencer raised his eyes to hers momentarily before looking down at his hands causing his tears to fall.
"Please Spencer, her heart's breaking enough. Don't break it even more. She needs you. Please," She begged, reaching across the table to cover his hands with her own. "Please, please be there for her."
Spencer looked up at her with the saddest expression and she winced, her tears falling at the sight of it.
She pulled him to his feet and wrapped her arms around him as he clutched her for dear life; sobbing into her shoulder.
"I loved them both so much." He sobbed.
"I know... I know... But you still have Melanie, Spencer. She's still alive. She's still yours."
"They were all I wanted."
Beth found it best to just let him cry; to not say anything.
A few heads turned, but this scene wasn't new in a hospital.
Eventually, he pulled back; puffy-eyed and breathless. She gave him a small smile and the corners of his lips pulled up slightly in response; the best effort he could manage right now.
That's all he'd needed since he'd received the news that their bump would never be their child. He'd just needed to be held; he'd just needed a cry without anybody judging or freaking out or leaving him alone 'to grieve in peace'. He needed somebody to hold him.
And as he registered this while pulling away from Beth; he realised that no, he didn't need somebody to hold him; he needed Melanie to hold him.
Throughout this whole thing, they'd been apart.
She'd entered the Wilson household alone without him, she'd been punched and pushed whilst he was in the hall outside trying to get to her; she'd coded in the theatre whilst he was trapped pacing the corridors; she'd been rushed into surgery and miscarried while he was in the corridor pacing back and forth manically; he'd been told as she'd lay unconscious on a hospital ward; she'd been told as he'd aimlessly walked the Texas city streets, trying to come up with an answer to his blank emotions; she'd grieved in Beth's arms not his; he'd also grieved in Beth's arms and not hers.
"I'm so sorry." He apologised in a broken voice and Beth smiled encouragingly at him again, bending slightly to look him in the eye as he dipped his head.
"Spencer," She said in that motherly tone of hers. "I love you like a son and Melanie like a daughter. Neither of you ever have to apologise to me."
He managed a small smile after those words that touched his heart and she smiled again, putting a gentle hand on his cheek, searching his eyes and sighing.
"Five minutes ago I would've said there's no way Melanie can see you like that without worrying herself sick but..." She heaved a sigh and moved her hand to the top of his back, moving him towards the exit of the coffee shop.
"I think right now, neither of you have space to worry about appearances. You just need each other."
*
"It's okay," She said encouragingly as they made their way down the corridor to Melanie's private room on the otherwise silent ward filled with private rooms.
Spencer was breathing in deep calming gulps; the thing he done when he was trying to calm himself down but only made it worse.
"You just need to be together right now. Things will seem a little better when that happens." She smiled encouragingly again as they neared the door.
Gently she knocked before pushing it open; Aaron turning around with a small but questioning smile; his eyes lightening and widening when he saw Spencer standing sheepishly, shielded behind Beth.
Melanie was still the same; sat upright on the bed; staring straight ahead robotically; tears flowing from her eyes and dripping off her chin.
"I found Spencer trying to drink cold coffee again." Beth said, trying to make things light while drawing attention to Spencer.
It worked and Melanie blinked from the wall she'd been staring at; immediately meeting Spencer's eyes as Beth stepped inside the room to bring him into sight.
"Melanie," He choked as he slowly entered the room; their eyes locked together. Beth looked to Melanie and caught her bottom lip shaking as she tried to hold in the sobs racking her chest.
"Melly baby I'm so sorry!" Spencer sobbed before rushing to her side and throwing his arms around her; just in time for her to fall apart.
Beth tilted her head towards the door and Aaron nodded, getting to his feet and hurriedly leaving the room alongside Beth.
"I should've been here I'm so sorry!" Spencer sobbed into Melanie's shoulder as her thin arms gripped him to her tightly.
"This is all my fault Spencer, I lost your baby I'm so sorry I'm so sorry!"
"It's not your fault, it's not."
He sobbed in return; realising for the first time that nobody was to blame but himself. He should've been there to protect her. He should've stayed behind at the station and been at Angela's mother's house.
"I love you Spencer. I'm so sorry."
"I love you too Melly. I'm sorry too."