Song: Paloma Faith - only love can hurt like this (slowed + reverb)
𝔚𝔚𝔚
Josie
I hadn't thought this through.
I'm half naked in an elevator, duffle bag in hand, filled with my stuff and money I'd borrowed, as car keys that weren't mine dangled from my hand.
I didn't know how to drive.
But I felt trapped, stuck, like I had no where else to go.
It's the worst feeling in the world.
The chiming of the elevator reaching the garage floor brings me back while I step out into the space and navigate towards Nico's beat up car. I glance around at the numerous other cars, cars I recognized seeing Nico drive occasionally.
This wasn't the public parking garage for the building, like I'd assumed. It was Nico's personal garage and these cars were all his.
It made me feel less guilty about taking this one, it was the worst looking, parked in the far corner, out of sight. I open the passenger side door and make a move to place the duffle bag in there, only the second I do, I'm shoved inside from behind.
The keys fall onto the drivers seat, I fall into the passengers seat and the door behind me is shut abruptly.
I finally gather myself enough to straighten out in the seat, my eyes wide and alert and by the time I'm sitting upright, the masked figure is already in the drivers seat, turning on the ignition and driving out of the garage.
I'm so taken aback and shocked that I can do nothing but sit there frozen as we swerve into the street and begin driving away from the penthouse.
I scream.
The masked figure cringes, holding a hand up to his ear. "Goddamit." I don't stop screaming, not even as I register the faintly familiar sound of their voice. "Shut up, Josie." And it isn't until they pull off their mask and I spot the familiar side profile that I stop.
My heart rate doesn't calm, though. It's like the more I look at him, the faster my heart pounds.
"Has anyone ever told you that you're the easiest target to kidnap?"
I don't respond. I simply stare at him and take in everything from his green eyes, lighter skin all the way to the only resemblance we shared - the light chocolate colored hair we both got from Marie.
"Daniel?" I breathe.
He turns his head and cracks a smile I hadn't seen in a while. It's that boyish, easy going one. "Hey, Josie."
I stare at the boy who'd been the root of my whole world flipping upside down. The boy I'd been searching for. The one I believed was hurt, in danger, or even worse-dead.
But no, he was here- alive and well.
Relief like I've never felt before washes over me and before I can think, I reach over and begin to hit his arm. "Don't, 'hey Josie' me." I snap, resorting to pinching him really hard as he takes a hand off the wheel and begins to try and slap me away. "What the heck is wrong with you?!"
The more he slaps me away, the harder I pinch his arm.
"The place is bugged and that's the only way I could go undetected and get you out without putting your ass on the line- ow- shit! Stop it." He hisses, slapping my hand so hard that I can do nothing but pull away and let him drive.
"So you decide to kidnap me?!" not only was I in no condition to put that kind of strain on my body, but Nico would overreact if he found out.
Nico was already crazy. I didn't want to find out what insane Nico was capable of.
Daniel nods, so self assured, "You aren't safe there with him." He spits and something suddenly clicks from the way he refers to I'm guessing Nico.
This only meant one thing; Daniel knew Nico. Maybe he'd heard of him, or had a bad encounter. But he knew of him.
And that only piques my interest.
"Where have you been? Why did you disappear? Do you know how reckless, I continue firing off questions but he shakes his head.
He cuts me off. "Where have you been-"
"Looking for you." I accuse, cutting him off.
"Really?" He nearly cuts me off and I'm once again reminded of just how easy it is for us to feed off of each others anger and escalating conversations. He takes an exit onto a major highway that leads out of the city, but I'm far too enraged and engrossed in this conversation to ask him about it.
"One minute I'm coming back to The Colony to get you because you're not answering the phone I got you for this specific reason." He says pointedly sending me an angry look.
I'm about to immediately protest, but I stop myself when I recall Nico snapping it when we first met. But Daniel's tone still frustrates me.
I had grown to realize that he treated me like a doll. One that he cared for very much, and stored in a safe place and one that he didn't even consider as having a life of her own.
For as long as I can remember, Daniel would disappear for long periods of time and then when he would randomly pop up again, he'd act as though everything was normal.
He would brush off my comments saying about how worried I was, and always referred to me as an 'annoying mother'.
If I was an annoying mother. Than he was was an arrogant, reckless child.
"-And the next minute, i'm standing next to a tombstone by Marie and Michaels house with your name engraved on it."
His words derail my train of thought completely.
"What?" I breathe out in horror.
"I thought you were dead, Josie." He turns towards me, running a hand though his hair. "I was so damn worried, you have no idea."
I ignore his lack of awareness for me and the fact that I did in fact know how he felt and try to process this news.
Surely Father Kade and the others had gathered I'd run away, not that I'd died. I was beyond confused. I look towards Daniel. "Wes told me that Kai left and was coming to look for you. Didn't he tell you that I was alive and in New York?"
His knuckles turn an even whiter shade than the color of his skin and his response only wrecks havoc in my mind. "He's dead."
My heart drops.
"And you will be too if I continue to let you stay with that cold blooded monster a second longer." He grits out.
I get his insinuation and before I can stop myself, I'm jumping in to defend Nico. "Nico wouldn't kill Kai."
Daniel scoffs out a bitter laugh. "You have no idea what he's capable of and what he's done."
I snap my mouth shut. Daniel was even worse than I was when it came to being stubborn. He clearly didn't like Nico, there was no arguing with him. Especially when I didn't necessarily want to tell him about Nico and I.
"Wes told me he was threatening you into staying with him." He continues, sighing out in frustration, "He's a monster Josie, I'm sorry- if I knew any sooner I'd have come get you."
I look down at my lap.
Daniel was wrong, but I don't dare to say anything, I listen to him continue on his rambling about just how bad Nico is and I gather that he must really dislike him.
I'm about to ask him why but he pulls into a gas station that doubles as a diner and shuts off the car before turning towards me. "You hungry? We've got a long trip ahead of us."
I shift uncomfortably as he stares at me expectantly and I tighten my hold around the duffle bag Id pulled into my lap.
I wasn't aware we were leaving. "I don't want to leave New York." I say carefully.
Daniels brows furrow, "Why?" And I watch his eyes trail down my figure and I tense. I was in nothing but Nicos shirt. Luckily the duffle bag was covering my bottom half, but I was still clearly in his shirt and he realizes this. "That's Nico's shirt..."
I shift. Luckily the necklace was tucked beneath my collar so he couldn't see it. "Our laundry got mixed up and it was just the easiest thing to put on with my stitches." He doesn't look too convinced and so, I pull the duffle beg in my lap back enough to show him some of my stitches and his face falls. "See?"
His shoulders visibly relax before he shakes his head, "Crap, okay. I'm sorry for acting like such an asshat." He says, before moving forward and placing a kiss on my temple. "I'm just trying to keep you safe." He pulls back to stare at me. "When this is al over, we can go back to New York."
I blink trying to understand him. I had a life in New York. I had school, a job, Nico. Was I really ready to give it all up?
Daniel must take my silence for a yes because he gets out of the car. But I stop him before he can leave. "What are you trying to keep me safe from?"
He doesn't blink, "From Nico."
My brows furrow, "And what do you mean by, 'When this is all over?'"
He stares at me, there's a dark look in his eyes. The one that tells me he's made his mind up about something and it creates a pit inside my stomach.
"Don't worry about it." He assures before getting out of the car completely and crouching to glance down at me in the car. "In the meantime, get rid of anything he might be able to track." And with that, he jogs into the diner.
My hands shake and I take a deep breath. This was all happening too fast.
I didn't want to leave, but I had no where else to go.
I open the duffle bag and look through it, my anxiety spiking when I spot my phone.
I pick it up and turn it on.
Seven missed calls.
All from Nico.
The phone vibrates in my hand as he calls me once again.
What if I don't ever see Nico again?
Good. All he's done is lie and hurt you.
Liar. He was there for you.
My stomach twists and I have the urge to vomit at the thought of leaving him forever.
I toss the phone aside and pull on a pair of sweatpants and a new shirt I'd found in the duffel bag.
The duffle bag Nico had filled with my things so he could move me into his bedroom. Also the duffle bag I'd used to run away.
The reality of my actions sits heavy on my shoulders and Nicos words from before ring in my head.
"Not only would I find you. But I would have no problem dragging your ass right back to me."
On impulse, I grab my phone and send a text message to Nico.
Don't come looking for me.
He replies not a second later.
Already on my way.
No.
I don't want
to see you.
He ignores my statement.
Who are you with.
No one.
An incoming call from Nico lights up my screen. I don't answer, knowing the sound of his voice would make me break.
Instead, I crawl into the drivers seat and position the camera so that he can see it's only me in the car before taking a photo and sending it to him.
He reads the message and takes a full fifteen seconds to respond.
Put my shirt back on.
And come back home.
Tears start to cloud my vision as I read his text message.
Home.
The closest I'd ever felt at home, was in his bed with him. But how could I go back? He had lied to me and had numerous chances to come clean, but he didn't.
You didn't do that to someone you liked.
Nico held me in his arms as I cried about what Rico had done. I thought something was wrong with me. And all this time, he was to blame.
And I had to hear it all from Wes.
I respond to his next message with one simple word.
No.
Call me.
No.
You only took 30 grand.
You'll need more than that
to survive. Come back
and take more.
A tear glides down my cheek. I'm both frustrated with myself and him because I can't find it in myself to hate him.
No.
The text bubbles pop up and I watch them appear and disappear like he's trying to find the right words.
A message finally appears.
Let me hear your voice.
More text bubbles appear before disappearing, until finally, the message appears.
Please.
I don't respond, my heart hurts too much and I can't explain the feeling. I want to hate him, I really do. It's make this all easier.
It just hurts so much.
My phone rings once again, and this time, I pick up, holding the phone to my ear.
Silence lingers on both our ends. Aside from the sound of my soft sniffles, all I can hear is his breathing.
It appears steady and controlled but when I focus in on his breathing patterns, they're ragged and shallow.
He's just as affected as I am.
He's first to break the silence. "Come back." His voice is low and hard, but I don't miss the tension in it, like he's trying his hardest to remain calm. "And talk to me."
"No." I breathe out, my throat closing. "You lied to me, Nico."
"I fucked up." He breathes. "I did some stupid shit. But that was before." He responds evenly.
"Before what?"
He pauses for a moment.
"Before you were mine."
The overwhelming urge I have to break down makes me realize that I'm doomed.
I've never liked anyone like I do Nico.
I really like him.
"It doesn't matter." I shut my eyes, trying to stop the flow of tears. "You could have told me. But I had to find out the truth from someone else." My voice cracks and I can't work up any more strength to act like I'm fine. "It... hurts."
"I did it because I was trying to avoid hurting you." His words sound like they're forced, but I know it's because he's not used to communicating his feelings.
He's trying.
He was lying.
"But you did." I swallow thickly and force the words out. "We're over, Nico."
"Like hell we are." He snaps, a low frustrated noise sounding from the back of his throat. "We can talk about this when you come back."
That's the thing, I wasn't sure I was coming back.
I look up to Daniel's figure standing in line at the diner before glancing down at my lap.
I felt like I was being forced to make a choice between the two most important people in my life.
But like always, I was choosing Daniel.
"Don't come looking for me." I finally respond.
He goes quiet and I faintly make out the sound of an engine running in the background.
He's driving.
"I mean it." I snap out of my feelings and somber up, hardening my voice. "Don't come looking for me. I don't want to see you."
His lack of response tells me that he's not going to listen.
"I'm serious, Nico."
He finally responds and I can practically feel his displeasure. He makes a clicking noise with his tongue, and I can imagine him dragging it across his front teeth. "How serious?"
"Butterfly serious."
He grows quiet once again, yet this time I know he's thinking very carefully.
I can hear his chest heaving and despite his ability to mask his emotions, I can feel his mood dropping.
When he replies, his voice is hoarse, almost vulnerable. "What the fuck am I supposed to do until you come back?"
I blink down at my thighs. "I don't expect you to wait for me-"
"Jesus," he cuts me off with an annoyed sigh. "It's hard to take you seriously when you're so fucking dramatic." The frustration is clear in his voice and I bite down on my lower lip. "Tell me what to do to make you come back."
My heart beats erratically, but I pinch the skin of my thigh near my stitches to snap me out of it. "Time." I choke out. I needed time to think about all of this. "I want you to give me time.... and space."
"Space?" He grits, like the idea is the last thing he wants to do. "Away from me?" His voice drops to a low murmur, and the sound of it has my heart clenching.
Why was this so hard?
Why did this feel so wrong?
"Yes."
He exhales a harsh breath. "I really don't want that, Bambi." He finally admits, his voice sounds the same but I don't miss the twinge of defeat. "Don't make me do that."
A choked sob claws it's way up my throat. "Don't force me back."
The tension is in-mistakable as a thick silence floats between us, that is until he finally speaks in a harsh raspy whisper. "te extrañaré demasiado."
(Spanish| I'll miss you)
I grit my teeth and pinch the skin of my thigh once again as my eyes sting. "Goodbye, Nico." I whisper before shutting off my phone completely.
This was for the best.
I try to stop the tears and I manage to do so just as Daniel returns. He opens the passenger door and reaches for my duffle bag. "Let's go." He nods towards another car parked on the other side of the parking lot and my brows pinch together.
"We're changing cars?" I ask, looking up at him, mildly alarmed. "Why?" I felt safe in this car, I didn't want to leave it.
"This is arguably the only thing that bastard loves." He looks at me like my question is absurd, before patting the hood of Nico's car. "He'll always end up finding her."
I blink at Daniel and force out a reply when I realize he's talking about the car. "Right." I clear my throat, handing him my duffle bag before grabbing Nico's car keys from his hands.
I find a napkin along with a pen in one of the compartments and quickly jot down a note, before reaching behind my neck and unclamping the necklace Nico had given me.
Rosso's necklace.
I get out of the car and place the phone, necklace and keys inside against one of the seats. I knew Nico wasn't far, he'd get here in a matter of minutes and so, I place the note atop the pile and shut the door.
But I can't help the way I stop and glance though the window at my note.
I'm sorry.
I even added a little butterfly in the corner of the napkin, as if it'd make this better.
It wouldn't.
In fact it makes me feel sick to my stomach, and that feeling doesn't go away.
Not as I get into the passenger seat of Daniels car, not as he drives off, not as I pretend to listen to Daniel's stories and not even as I slowly drift off to sleep.
By the time I finally wake, the early morning sun is shining through the front windsheild and we're surrounded by farmland and trees.
I sit up, wiping my puffy eyes that feel far too heavy for my face. "Where are we?" I mumble.
"Almost there." He yawns and I stare ahead, blinking past the daze in my eyes to read the road sign.
Elora National Park and Campground.
The name instantly rings a bell and when I realize he's brought us all the way back to The Colony my body tenses.
"What-" I bolt upright and snap my head towards him. "Daniel... I-I'm not going back there."
He turns into the campground and makes a right, "Relax, I'm not taking you back to that place." Daniel explains, completely oblivious to my inner turmoil. "I have a cabin up in the forest."
I stare at him in horror. "I-I don't like this idea. It's risky and foolish-"
"You'll be fine, Josie." Daniel says, turning towards me. "It's only until I can make other arrangements- a few days tops. I won't leave your side."
I don't look convinced. I loved Daniel, trusted him and felt safe with him.
But that safety had its limitations.
And staying in a small cabin with nothing but a forest separating The Colony and I, was pushing that safety he provided.
So much so that I start to ask myself if I've made a terrible mistake.
Nico
I stopped myself from killing someone today.
It was terrible.
I was left half satisfied, as I eyed Wes' limp figure on the ground, wishing I could kill him once and for all.
I hadn't beaten the shit out of him, I'd merely broken enough bones to make his life hell for the next few weeks, yet not enough to do permanent damage. He'd heal before Bambi came back.
Jesus, what the fuck had my life come to?
I wanted nothing more than to forget about my problems, get lost in a random high becasue this feeling shit? It wasn't for me.
But I couldn't. Not when she could come back at any moment.
So I'd wait, give her some space. Whatever the fuck that meant.
I wasn't going to leave her alone, though. I was going to watch her from afar and make sure she was okay.
Danny was still out there and word had gotten out that someone other than I -Rosso's second in command - got their hands on Rosso's necklace.
It was the only physical link to the man, only gifted to those close enough to the man everyone wanted to know.
And while the necklace was a form of protection, it also came with unwanted attention.
I was always able to handle the attention. I entertained it, basked in it, had fun seeing what lengths people went to, to get information on Rosso.
I'd been kidnapped a total of seven times and it was only because I'd let it happen.
I'd let them believe that Nico Blaine wasn't nearly as powerful as the man he worked for- Rosso.
It was easier this way and I'd eventually turned untouchable, Josie, however - wasn't.
I slow down and turn into the parking lot of the shitty excuse of a diner that doubled as a gas station, before spotting my beat up mustang.
Only when I pull up next to it, I find it empty.
I don't waste any time, not as I get out of my car, not as I open the drivers door and not as I scan the array of things stored in a neat pile on the drivers seat.
My heart races as heart burn takes over, my hands flex at my sides my mind clouds over until all I can see is red.
She's gone.
She lied.
She's not coming back.
She left me.
I ball the napkin in my hand, hating the urge I have to save it because she'd fucking drawn a stupid little butterfly on it.
Yet despite all these fucking feelings, I find myself stuffing the napkin into my pocket.
I had her and then I lost her.
Fuck.
I slam the door shut and take a few deep breaths in as I try to calm the itching desire to burn everything in my path until I find her.
I was on the brink of insanity and I'd never hated anyone as much as I did Josie Dumont for making me this way.
She was making me crazier than I already was.
I was thinking about her every goddamn second of everyday. I carried around an inhaler for fucks sake. I'd lost touch with myself and all for what?
Her to leave me?
I rub a hand down my jaw before pulling the inhaler out of my pocket and tossing it into the pile along with her phone and the necklace she'd left behind.
It was all trash.
I was never this type of man. A pathetic loser chasing after... a girl.
Yet here I was, standing in the middle of butt fuck no where, suffering from a sever case of chest pain because of a five foot seven pain in my ass that liked to draw butterflies on everything.
My world didn't revolve around her.
I had other goals.
Like revenge, running an empire, paradise.
I abandon the Benz i'd driven myself out here in and get into my mustang, tossing her shit onto the passenger seat and driving off.
I was going to throw it all out.
I didn't fucking care anymore.
And so, to distract myself from the stupid fucking urge to tear the world apart looking for her, I grab my phone and make a few calls that were long overdue.
She'd been a distraction. I didn't need her.
Sammy picks up in the second ring, but I don't let him speak. "Prepare a jet. I'm going on a field trip."
Sammy stammers on the other end but I'm far too focused on the ways in which I'm going to forget about her to care.
"Where to?"
"To feed my supplier his dick."
"Uh- okay. I'll text you the-" I hang up and make another call as I make my way towards the airport.
"What can I do for you, Mr.Blaine?" The mans thick Italian accent floats through the line. I didn't trust the Italians one bit, but they were useful when I wanted to send a message out.
"Rosso wants a hit out. Direct orders." I speak, pressing my foot on the accelerator. "Danny - skinny white boy that used to work with me a while back."
"He got a last name?"
"No." I answer swiftly. He went by Danny, never had a last name, nor did I care for it. "Anything anyone can find on him, Rosso wants it."
"You want him dead or alive?"
I stare ahead, wanting nothing more than to see Daniel's head hung up on my wall. "Breathing is fine."
"And how much is the hit on his head?"
My hands flex against the wheel as I cast a glance to the pile of Bambi's things on the passenger seat. And I'm reminded of the way he'd fucked not only me over but Bambi too. "Two million."
I wanted him alive because I wanted nothing more than to have him begging me to die.
And when he did finally die, I wanted to be the one to kill him.
𓆩❤︎𓆪
If ur sad ab this chapters events, all I gotta say is: TRUST THE PROCESS
Also note that this isn't a ' miscommunication trope' . This is just Josie and Nico being dramatic asf for no reason 😭 you'll see why in the next ch.
And what do we think of Daniel?
I really want her relationship with danie to be a realistic one in the sense that hes not gonna be this perfect brother figure.
They're dynamic as brother and sister, is that. brother and sister.
I'm sure that those of you who have and are somewhat close with your siblings know that you love them, but they aren't perfect and do stupid shit sometimes.
-
Also some(very few) people have been complaining about the chapter length and wanting longer chapters, but I feel like atp I'm forcing myself to keep the chapters long, even if I don't want it done that way.
It's not making this enjoyable anymore so from now on I'm gonna do whatever I want.
That's not to say that the chapters r gonna be short. They're not, I'm just not gonna force myself to keep them long when they don't need to be.
I'm just trying to not be such a ppl pleaser bc that shits so mentally draining 😩
Also ily all <3