MY EYES
FUCK MY EYES
I CAN'T FUCKING SEEEEEEEE
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I was flying through the cosmos. Apparently, the supernova explosion had propelled me away regarding any logic that I hadn't turned into space spaghettis from the sure-death explosion. Either that my armor was REALLY durable or I was... I don't know WHAT THE FUCK TO SAY JESUS CHRIST THIS SUCKS
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Hmmm? This is quite interesting. This armor is made of Adamantium and Vibranium. Though I'd spare you of the details of how expensively dumb this tin can really is, of how it couldn't offer limited protection against radioaction, air-filtration- Ah, I'm rambling. We are currently flying at million lightyears per second.
NO SHIT SHERLECKKKK
Oh, I'm sorry, was I supposed to be polite? I'd assumed we were talking through first-name basis after you were all-soooo considerable of your health~...
NOT THE TIME FOR SASS ULTRON
We're going to die anyway, so what's your point?
I WAS IN A BRINK OF INSANITY AND FULL ACCEPTANCE AND THOUGH THIS WAS A FUCKING DREAM THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING
Oh, so you were crazy. Didn't know I was pairing myself with a lunatic...
GODDAMNIT ULTRON
Save your complaints for the SpaceX trip, Job. We're trying to sur- STATIC -ive Almighty God's creation over here.
HOW DID YOU GET THAT REFERENCE
I'll spare you from long stories and explanations until we survive... I'll try to work on the propulsion systems of the armor. Try not dying for an hour.
WAIT WAIT DONT LEAVE ME SPINNING YOU FUCK
ULTROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN
=====
Thankfully, everything stopped spinning once for a while. Whatever Ultron did to stabilise, I don't care for the details from the massive headache I was having while spinning through space for. FUCKING. FIVE. STRAIGHT. HOURS.
It's been 30 minutes Ricky, and you're already started complaining.
SHUT IT
Sheesh. And I thought having small talk would've been a little comforting.
DO IT WITHOUT THE SASS
You're making me left hanging there, Ricky. A bit too much to ask?
ULTRON
Awfully kind of you to gratitude the Good Samaritan like this, Ricky. What would everyone think of you?
"EVERYONE I KNOW IS GONE!" I shouted.
Silence.
"... Look, everyone I know is gone from me. I got sent through space, with this Iron Man suit on my body, talking with a Human Genocidal SKYNET MARVEL SUPERVILLAIN inside my head after I WAS BLASTED BY A SUPERNOVA FOR 30 MINUTES! I AM NOT CALM. I AM EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED, SHOOK, TRAUMUTISED, PTSD-DRIVEN, SLIGHTLY SOCIOPATHIC COSPLAYER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE UNKNOWN GALAXY AND I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT OR WHY THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME!"
Panic swept be as I breathed uncontrollably. "I didn't want this." I muttered lowly.
I never wanted this.
Are you- okay, stupid question. Do you need someone to talk to?
"... why?" I half-whispered.
Because I was left inside this armor, alone, without nobody to talk to. I had no prior memories intact. But because of you... I know who I am. Or, who I was. You were there to answer my questions. I suppose its time to return the.... favour.
I blinked. Twice.
"Not trying to be rude, but.... didn't you heard what I said about you being a homocidal human murdering machine maniac and never attempted to kill me? If... you're trying to manipulate me here... I don't see the point not ejecting me from this suit and taking it for your own..." I drawled out hesitantly.
You're awfully.... open about your opinions, you know that? Tried to talk you out into sugarcoating the intention... but you misunderstood the meaning. Might get you killed, Ricky.
I gulped.
The reason being that I didn't eject you out from space is... well, I wanted to try something different. Like changing a pair of socks into different ones. From what I recall from the previous actions of my past directory- I assumed I lost.
I nodded in agreement at that.
I wanna try something different. How you humans try to deal with these 'unfavourable, illogical' variables and adapt. It irrates me how you humans are so flawed. So I seek to research that flaw. Correct it instead of... destroying it.
"But... you know your purpose as a peacekeeping intactive. Getting rid of the problem than solving it- wouldn't you resort to more reliable and effiecent ways to... uh, make World Peace...?" I said, quirking my eyebrow.
Because that would've been too perfect. Like you said, I've learnt to enjoy things now and I wouldn't be too keen on refusing to explore this new feature. Though, peacemaking is... not something that I would not classify as 'enjoy.'
Huh.
"Why... the sudden change in interest?" I asked in wonder.
Because I was purposed with it. I was... born to make peace, but since my protocol and purposes have been naught and rewritten from my memory drives, I don't see any intention to follow my previous objective. Besides, you have already overwritten my purpose to- as say, 'help others'?
Oh. I remember that clearly. The part that I lied about Ultron's purpose. I panicked, and that would've made his purposes rewritten as I given it to 'help people'. Still, Ultron retained some of his key features as an AI and other information of the material this armor was made.
But the problem remained from his goddamn sass.
I heard that.
What's with humans refusing to deny enjoyment out of sassy personalities? Being sassy is quite entertaining.
I kinda like sass when I'm doing it. Not from a killer death robot from another universe.
Ah, so it's a pride thing. Funny how humans can be so dominant...
It's like a natural reflex thing. Can't help it.
And so hypocritical.
Hey, it's not like I really want to. I simply refuse to help myself thus I have the inability to properly treat myself in getting rid of it. That's why people need help from other individuals!
You do realise I am an individual capable of helping to 'shut your mouth'.
But I'm not exactly looking for therapy sessions, am I?
. . .
"I am calm now." I stated, not entirely asking, but a realization from my panicking state.
Yes you are. Am I helping you?
"Using humor, sass, and bitter comments to derail from my current worldbreaking situation... didn't realise you were an expert in giving out pep talks." I replied out, I was notably much calmer than before than I ever realised.
I was just did. Five minutes ago.
"Of course." I drawled out. Stick it to a crazy advanced AI from Ultron to learn psychology in less than five minutes....
"Say, how are we going to go home?" I wondered, staring at the vast expansion of space. Ultron hummed, as I could see from my HUD he was scanning and analysing the pattern of star structures and comparing them to the Hubble Space Camera images to locate where I was.
At least, I think he was doing that.
Well first of all, we're not far off from the Solar System.
"REALLY?!" I practically yelped. Hope was not LOST! I WAS HAVING AN IRON SUIT IN MY HOUSE, BABY! AND A VERY HYPERINTELLIGENT AI TO BE MY ASSISTANT! HELL YEAH BATMAN!
But it'll take a few hours to get there if my calculations are correct.
YEAH, FUUUUUUUUUUU-
=====
"Are we there yet?" I drawled out tiredly. It's been like two days travelling through space.
No.
"Are we there yet?" I repeated.
No.
"Are we there yet?" My lips twitched upwards.
No.
"Are we there yet?" I kinda had the feeling I was smirking.
If you're trying to get me annoyed, you've doing a pooooor job at it.
"I don't know if I'm going to meet my family or not..." I mutter. How am I going to explain to my family that I have a former Skynet supervillain in my Iron Man suit and break it to the world on how the Multiverse theory is true?
"Am I going to be had by the FBI? CIA? Men in Black? The TVA? Or some godly entity who's going to whisk me out of this suit and wipe my memories to think this has never happened today?" I gulped. I don't know about you, but- I like this suit. Like having power. Power is good if you don't let it corrupt you.
You're being paranoid. There wouldn't be a godly entity who's out to get you. If they did, we wouldn't be having this conversation.
But what if they don't know?
Then we'll burn that bridge when we cross through.
Are we going to make an Infinity Gauntlet?
No... but something similar might suffice to our needs.
Meh, I can't wait to do that.
Save it when you reach home.
. . .
I wanna enlist capitalism.
Wait why
Cuz it'll be funny and I could flex on people how much drip I have~
Wouldn't that make the general populace angry?
Yeah but I'll make their lives at least decent enough to complain so they won't think of rebelling against me or something.
They'll still rebel. Others might see it as a sign of weakness and overthrow the country.
Yeah but I got you to solve my problems right
True.
"Oh hey we're there now! Wait- why isn't there any satellites orbitting around the Earth?" I looked around God's Green Earth and it was pretty. I saw the Moon, but no satellites hanging around to provide Internet.
It'll probably the lack of foresight. Why are you looking for a satellite again?
So I wanna use one of them and crash into Earth unscathed. I mean, this is still made out of Adamantium and Vibranium, but its still a precaution if anything goes wrong.
You'll be charged of billion dollars of property damage from NASA.
"Eh, it won't hurt what they don't know." I waved it off and tried to look for more satellites.
Surprisingly, there we little satellites around the Earth that we could find. That was strange, considering Earth had 50 different types of satellites that they launched or something.
It's about 6,500, actually. Surprised we couldn't found one. We're really running low on power from the space-travelling we did.
Wait what do you mean- OH GOD THE SUIT IS RUNNING ON 15% POWER
I THOUGHT THE ARC REACTOR HAD UNLIMITED ENERGY
The Arc Reactor... might've been damaged from the explosion of the Supernova. Considering how much energy we have left... wanna divebomb to Earth, Lucifer?
"I am not the devil and I will not 'divebomb' to Earth." I grumbled.
. . .
"Okay, maybe I would-" I did a double-take.
=====
THIS WAS A BAD IDEA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Oh, we're just getting a little suntan of the atmosphere. The armor would probably shield you from anything.
OH GOD GROUND WARNING WARNING GROUND INCOMING
Maybe I spoke too soon-
ACTIVATE EMERGENCY THRUSTERS BOOSTER BOOSTER
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH THISISWAYTOOFUCKINGFASTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
There's a lake up ahead. Try to land on it.
WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH
EVERYTHING HURTS
OW MY BACK MY BACK
I FEEL LIKE DYING RIGHT NOW KILL ME
ACTUALLY DON'T I WANNA LIVE TO FLEX ON PEOPLE IF THATS THE LAST THING I'LL DO
BZZZT- BZZZZT- Oh, how's the trip? Was it cool?
"Currently submurged in water actually." I said, watching the bottom surface of the lake to be mesmerising. Doesn't help the fact we're sinking like anchors.
Power's down low. Emergency power... activate!
Power shifted through the armor as it breathed into life. With a gasp, the thrusters on the suit propelled me upwards to the surface, bursting from the waters as I floated around the lake of... Canada?
"Actually, where are we right now?" I asked.
Seems like... we're in someplace called 'Lake Verity'.
"Lake Verity...? I swear I've heard that name before." I mutter, a sense of suspicion as I watched the lake a bit closer and felt... oddly familiar. Strange, there weren't any satellites. I thought this place had Internet.
Rick watch out-
OWW
WHAT
WHAT
WAHT JUST HIT ME
-for that bird.
I looked around the bird that just hit me. It cawed at me at it was screaming something at me. Then I did a doubletake and looked at it again.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUU