It's now almost three in the morning, and I cannot sleep.
All I can think about is that kiss. After Abby came in Warner and I went our separate ways without saying anything else and I haven't been able to get to sleep since. It's like I'm scared that this is some weird dream and If I let myself fall asleep then I will wake up and none of this would have ever happened.
Staring blankly at the ceiling hovering above, I feel extremely uncomfortable lying on my back. So I turn to my side, drawing out my legs from underneath my duvet and resting them on top of the material. After a few minutes, I flip the pillow in order to rest my head on the cold side.
Still, I can't sleep.
"Ugh." I huff, sitting up straight in the bed and pushing the duvet from my body.
I swing my legs over the side of the bed and balance on my soles walking cautiously towards the door in the dark, because knowing me, I'd probably trip over something. Then, I walk into the hallway. From the corner of my eye, I notice that Warner's door is wide open, but it's empty.
I make it to the kitchen safely without waking anyone up, I reach over to one of the cabinets that hold the glasses and take the nearest one. Then scooting over to the sink, I feel my way to the tap in the darkness to open the stream of cold water. However, I freeze when I hear a sound behind me.
"You really should switch on the light." says a familiar voice behind me, making me jump in fright, and I accidentally drop my glass into the sink. "Jules?" Warner says again as I turn around, a gasp unwillingly escaping my lips.
"Warner, God damn it..." I place my hand on my chest, dumbly thinking it might have a soothing effect on my heart.
He chuckles softly, and I can hear him step a little closer towards me, "What are you doing up? It's almost three." He inquiries and now I can see his face a little more clearly.
"I can ask you the same thing," I reply, and for some reason, I can't help but smile a little.
The memory of him saying he liked me as well as our kiss resurfaces in my mind, making me look down to the floor in shyness, only looking up when he finishes his next sentence.
"I...I went on a run." He explains.
I raise an eyebrow, unsure of whether he's speaking the truth. "A run?" I repeat his words.
"Yes, a run," He smirks. "I couldn't sleep, and I needed to get things off my mind."
"Like what?" I ask him, curious if it had anything to do with our situation.
He smiles at me but doesn't answer the question, "What are you doing up?"
I glance back at the sink behind me. "I wanted to get a drink..." My words trail off when I see fragments of broken glass in the sink.
"Crap," I say, turning around to take a closer look at the shattered glass.
"What?" Warner asks, approaching me from behind. I feel the warmth of his body against my back as he peers into the sink too. With the glass reflecting the moonlight, I dive my hand into the sink to pick up the pieces that I can see.
"No!" Warner whispers harshly. "You're not even being careful, you are going to injure yourself, let me do it." I step aside to let him handle the broken glass.
I watch his tall figure as he paces from the sink and to the bin, each time carrying some broken glass carefully in his palm.
"I didn't know you were so clumsy." He states, shaking his head as his lips curl into a smile.
"It's not my fault you came out of nowhere and scared the hell out of me." I retaliate, crossing my arms over my chest.
He stands a few feet away once he finishes throwing away the glass. For a few moments, he studies my eyes, glimpsing down at my lips for a second,
He likes you, he likes you, he likes you!
The memory of our kiss is still fresh in my mind and every time I think about it, tingles electrify my lips.
"Jules"
"Okay, well goodnight" I attempt to walk past him to my room, I was so scared that he was about to say something I didn't want to hear.
He blocks my path by extending his arm out and clasping my waist with his hand with the gentle tugging of his finger, Warner spins me around to face him, pushing me back against the edge of the kitchen island. Then as if my heart doesn't already want to climb up through my throat to escape, he steps forward and closes the distance between us with his body, My back is pressed against the edge of the countertop while Warner firmly holds both sides of my waist Since he is standing so close to me, his large frame hovers over me, too tall that I have to crane my neck to look up at him.
He doesn't say a word, and I'm grateful for that because I still haven't fully come to terms with the fact that we kissed. Instead, his thumb rubs soothingly against the back of my hand.
You'd think my heart has calmed down by now. You're wrong.
"Do you regret kissing me...?" He breathes, running his hands through his hair in concentration. His eyes fall to the floor for a split second, before returning to mine.
Are you serious? How could he possibly think that?
"No, I don't. I just didn't know you wanted to...you never said anything" I stumble over my words. My lungs struggle for air, years of tension burning.
"How the hell could you not know?" Bewilderment grows in his eyes as his gaze on me prolongs.
Warner's eyes focus only on mine, his breathing mingling with mine. He licks his lips and looks briefly down at mine before returning to my pupils and searching for my approval
"Don't kiss me because you feel sorry for me" I knew I messed up as soon as the words came out because Warner groaned in frustration. He backed up and turned away from me sighing to himself.
I couldn't help it! Anyone who looked like me growing up would be suspicious of these circumstances. I wanted to be confident I really did but I was so bad at hiding how scared and insecure I was. I didn't want to be his charity case.
"Goodnight" he mumbled and walked out without another look back at me.
Well, I messed that one up.
_____
I slept through all my alarms and when I finally opened my eyes and checked my phone I saw it was 1 pm...oops.
I also saw a message from my lovely mother
Juliet your apple watch says you haven't even moved today! Make sure to get a run in today, we can't let the holiday pounds get to us! xoxoxoxox
She couldn't possibly think that was a normal text to send your daughter.
I put on my running gear and some music to pump me up for my run. I had cheer practice in about an hour but I figured I could run some laps of the track before practice started. Gimme More by Britney Spears was blasting through my headphones when I got to the track which helped me get my ass in gear.
An hour later the rest of the cheerleaders showed up and I was a sweaty mess. I jogged over to the group and chugged my water.
"Look at Juliet's dedication, you girls need to get your cardio on the same level as her" Abby beamed at me and I smiled back. Little did she know I only ran to appease a mother whose worst nightmare was her daughter getting fat again.
"Although, I thought you were injured? You looked fine to me out there" Amy gave me a once over and I went red, I forgot about my little lie.
"I guess Warner cured Juliet with his lips" Abby chimed in and I glared at her. I did not need everyone to know about our kiss. Especially a certain someone on our team but unfortunately she already heard.
Emily was leaning against the bleachers with a smug smile on her face. I was scared, this side of Emily was scarier than any of the others because she looked like she knew something nobody else did.
Cheer practice went on so slowly, we practiced some stunts and as the flyer, I was thrown and flipped around till I was dizzy. Once practice ended I skipped showering with the team because I preferred to shower alone where nobody could see my body. I started walking back alone but noticed I had a 'friend' with me.
"Hello, Emily" I tried not to look at her, I just walked right past and towards the dorms.
"Hey Jiggly Juliet"
Her words made me stop in my tracks, my suspicions were confirmed. I was not seeing things, Sierra did tell her everything. I was not about to let her get to me so I kept walking, I needed to listen to what Warner always said and not let these girls affect me. I wasn't Jiggly Juliet anymore.
"I heard what Abby said about you and Warner. I thought you had more respect for yourself than that"
"What do you mean?" I knew I should just keep walking but I couldn't help but fall into her trap.
"Well I ran into your old friend Sierra and she showed me some pictures of you from high school and Warner knew you then right? Actually, Sierra said you have known each other since you were kids. He had all that time to confess any feelings for you, I mean he has had years to make a move" she sounded sympathetic and looked like she felt bad for me? Emily should honestly go into acting because she made an incredible actress.
"What's your point here?" I put my hands on my hips trying to act uninterested.
"My point is he only ever started liking you when you lost weight. He only noticed you when you got rid of those horrible braces and acne. Do you really think he would be paying you this much attention if you looked like you did in high school?"
She had a point
I hated that she had a point so I didn't answer her.
"Your friends might not give you the honest truth Juliet but I will. Warner Brooks never paid you any attention when you were a fat loser so the fact that he is now and you are falling for it makes you an idiot." her words stung but I couldn't ignore them, she wasn't wrong here.
I started walking again away from her and away from the thoughts, she was putting into my head. I already had these insecurities and fears in the back of my mind and all this did was confirm every single one of them.
I wasn't going to keep it in anymore, I had to say something to Warner...I needed to say something or I was going to explode.
I was a woman on the mission at this point, I almost ran into multiple people trying to get back to the dorms. I burst through the door and started knocking on Warner's door, well more like pounding.