I woke up slowly, awareness slowly flooding in but it wasn't like the first time. Bits and things from the first time I woke up filtered in and that same heavy relief filled my body at the knowledge that Maeve was safe and she was okay. That was all I truly cred about, that the little female was okay and she was being taken care of. I still felt like such a failure, getting lost like I had, not protecting her properly, letting her get sick. I felt responsible for that, I gave her the river water, I made her sick with it. I felt so horrible. I just wanted to go home, just wanted to get back to where I felt safe, where I knew Maeve would be protected better than I had protected her.
"Are you awake?" It was a hushed whisper and I cracked my eyes open as memories fluttered in. It was the female, Lilith, who was asking. I tried to move my arms but still felt so incredibly weak. I could barely move them but I managed to open my eyes fully. Lilith was looking down at me intently before she reached out and touched my hair. "I want to wash your hair." She was staring at a dirty feeling curl, twirling it around her finger. "You have such beautiful hair. I love working with textured hair. You have a mix of 3b and 3c hair, right?" Lilith glanced at me before smiling.
"I bet more of a 3b curl pattern but it's still a bit of a mix." She gave a happy sounding sigh before she tugged gently on the curl and brushed it back. "The baby is with DB right now. They are having a play date. I hope you don't mind, babies need to be socialized." She carefully tucked me in a bit more, adjusting the blanket around me. "My baby is going to be so loved." She rubbed her belly before beaming at me. The expression lasted for a moment before she glanced at something above me and then flicked her gaze back to me and leaned closer. "The spirits linger close to you, you know."
The words were confusing and I frowned. "What?" My voice was raspy but no longer the dry and cracked croak it had been prior. She gave a small shrug before moving around the bed, holding that big belly of hers.
"The illegal rogue was really close to killing you. You nearly died quite a few times." She tilted her head, adjusting the blanket carefully over the gauze cloth that was over the ugly wounds on my side.
At that my frown deepened. "How did you know it was a rogue?" I hadn't said anything about it, I had barely been awake the first time I woke up.
She gave another shrug. "The veil between life and death, between Mene and us, is thinner for me than everyone else. Things get through. Whispers, spirits, words of Mene. Sometimes, when she is feeling really intent, Mene pulls me across for a few seconds here or there." She gave another shrug, as if she didn't just say she could speak to the dead and speak with Mene.
"Can you..." Tears burned at my eyes and she looked at me expectantly. "Can you speak to my mum?" My voice cracked and she tilted her head further.
"She had a choice of places to go. She chose the one where she would see you again but where she ends up, I do not know. I cannot speak to her like I speak with the others but I know she loves you." The words contained enough to make me sniffle and I wanted to wipe at my eyes and she shushed me softy. "No crying. No crying!" She wiped at the tears that slipped out of my eyes, looking slightly distressed. "I don't like making people cry." She whispered it and I shook my head. Hearing that my mum loved me was enough and it was nice to hear, so very nice.
The doctor walked through the door before glancing at me and smiling. "Ah, you are awake." He leaned out of the door, "Alphas, she's awake again." The words had a bolt of fear surging through me and my heart thumped hard in my chest. I didn't do well with dominance, I didn't do well with ranked members.
A black haired female walked in, the dominance radiating off of her shoved into the room like an oppressive wave and the male that followed her had a fainter, but similar cloud hanging around him. The female looked at me and drew closer. I cringed into the bed, looking away and closing my eyes. I didn't like the dominance. "Hello, I'm Alpha Shey." The female's voice was sharp but if felt like less of she was upset and more that it always was, that she wasn't one to mince her words to make them more palatable.
"I'm Alpha Luka. We are the Alphas of Fortis, the pack territory you were found on." The words were accompanied by a heavy wave of dominance from both of them that had me cringing further into the pillow and bed. "These are the Hunters who are here to ask you some questions." I cracked my eyes open, and spotted the two stern, large males, standing next to my bed and my heart rate jumped.
"I'm Officer Roike." The one closest to me said it before gesturing to the other officer. "And this is Officer Walter." The other Hunter nodded his head. "We have some questions for you." He pulled out a notebook and a pen, clicking it. "What is your name?" At the question I swallowed and glanced away.
"M-Menza Aristot-Aristotle." It came out stuttered and the Hunter raised an eyebrow before writing it down.
"Where are you from?" The tone was filled with boredom and I swallowed hard, glancing at Lilith but her expression was dark as she looked at the group.
"I don't-I don't know." My hands started to shake and I pinched my lips together. I didn't know. Father had always said it wasn't my place to know and I was never actually told where the pack was or what it was called because of it. It wasn't my place.
"What do you mean you don't know?" The edge to his voice made me flinch slightly. "What pack are you from?" Domiance swirled around me and I swallowed hard.
"I-I-I don't-don't know." My breathing picked up and my eyes burned as I shook. I didn't like this. I didn't like it at all.
"Be nice!" Lilith's voice was harsh and the Hunter made a sound in the back of his throat.
"There is no way that you don't know. Where are you from?" He stressed the words hard and I grabbed the blanket in my hand, trying to sink away from the frustration that was radiating out of the male.
"I don-don't know. I'm-I'm-I'm sor-ry." My eyes burned worse, filling with tears and I closed my eyes tightly, trying to breath through the fear saturating me. There was so much dominance and they were angry with me and I was so tired and scared. I couldn't handle all of it.
"Listen, we can't help you if we don't know where you're from." His voice was sharp like a whip and I flinched under it heavily.
"Get out!" Lilith let loose a heavy snarl, growls rattling her chest. "Out! Get out!" I opened my eyes right as she tossed a tray at one of the Hunters as they rapidly backed away. "Out! Out! Out! Out!" Her expression was black as she tossed a cup at the other one, baring her teeth as it bounced off the floor and she heaved. "Get out!" It was screamed from her and the Alphas quickly ushered the Hunters to the other side of the room. "Out!" She picked up what looked to be a book and whipped it across the room at them. "Out! Out! Out!" Growls rattled her form and her face looked angular and dark but I wasn't scared of her, like I knew she meant me no harm.
"Hey!" Another large male came in and held out his hands. "Hey, hey!" He quickly came over, his entire focus on her. "Easy, love. It's okay." He came close enough to grasped her arms and then pulled her close to his chest.
"No! They were scaring her! They were being mean!" She heaved out her breaths ad the male rubbed her back gently, shushing her softly, murmuring at her that it was okay and everything was alright.
"We are trying to do-"
"Shut up." The male snapped it out before glancing at me. "Clearly this isn't working because she's clearly terrified." He glanced away before rubbing the small female's back again. "Okay. Breathe deep." He looked at Lilith intently and she gulped in a big breath and he nodded. "And relax." She slumped her shoulders and exhaled and he nodded. "Good." He let her go before moving over to the one wall and grabbed a chair and carrying it back over to Lilith. He set it down right next to the bed I was in. "Sit please." I watched with hiccuping breaths as she sat down and then grasped my hand tightly, throwing an angry look at the group of people near the door.
"Doc, can you come over here?" The large male gestured with his hand as he walked around the end of my bed and grabbed another chair, putting it right next to the bed opposite of Lilith. "Sit." The doctor nodded, already halfway across the room. Once he was settled into the chair the large male turned to look at the Alphas and the Hunters. "Luka, Shey, can one of you please get the baby for her?" I watched as the male Alpha nodded and he slipped out the door before the male turned to me, his hands on his hips before giving me an easy smile that changed his large form into something less intimidating and more friendly.
"My name is Micheal. I'm glad to meet you." He gave me such an easy grin I found myself giving him a shaky smile in return. He nodded as he moved back over to Lilith. "I'm mated to this beautiful sweetheart, right here." He bent down and kissed the top of her head as she gave a soft giggle before lifting her head and giving him a quick kiss, her expression soft and loving.
"Here we are." The male Alpha came back in, Maeve in his arms as she carried her over to me. His dominance shoved at me but he did nothing but gently set Maeve on my good side. "There you go. Safe and sound. She was just playing with my son." He gave me a soft grin and I reached up, my arm shaking like I was trying to move a hundred pounds before I wrapped it around Maeve's little body, holding her.
She babbled at me, giving me a gummy smile and I stroked my thumb against her pudgy leg. "Hey, love." I whispered it at her and one of the Hunters cleared his throat as the male Alpha backed away.
"We still need to question her." The words were sharp and Micheal nodded.
"I get that. You guys can sit down over there." He waved them off as he grabbed another chair and moved it to sit beside the bed but next to Lilith. "Okay. What's your name, sweetheart?" He kept his voice soft and gentle and I swallowed.
"M-Menza Aristotle." I held Maeve as tight as I could, taking comfort in her soft babbling as she grabbed at the blanket covering my stomach.
"Okay. Can you tell me where you are from?" At the question I shook my head, staring at Maeve so I didn't have to look at him and get intimidated.
"Can you explain why you don't know?" The doctor asked it lightly and I glanced at him. "I want to know if you sustained a head injury or not, perhaps before the attack on you." The statement made sense and I shook my head.
"My...my father said it wasn't my place to know." My voice was low and I felt ashamed of the ignorance. I should have known, I understood it might not have been my place but I should have known, should have been told.
"Ahhhh, I see." The doctor gave a small nod. "Do you know who attacked you?" The question was said gently, as if he had been unsure of how I would take it.
"It was a rogue. He was trying-he was trying to hurt Maeve." I swallowed hard, my heart thumping hard in my chest as I remembered that day. "He-he grabbed me but I yank-yanked away so he wouldn't-he wouldn't-" Tears filled my eyes as I looked at the sweet baby I would lay down my life for. "I didn't want her hurt." I took in a shaky inhale, my eyes filling with tears as I glanced at the doctor. "She's-she's everything to me." She was. She meant so much to me and I didn't care that I got hurt, I cared that she would have if I didn't do it.
"Ahhh, you forced yourself out of his grip to protect the baby." He looked at me expectantly and I nodded. I had, I would do anything to protect Maeve. Anything.
"That is really brave." Lilith squeezed my hand gently and I turned my head to look at her. She gave me a soft smile. "You did so well." She looked so proud of me that it made me giving a hiccuping inhale. I wasn't used to someone other than Simon look at me like that.
"Do you know the name of the Alpha of your pack?" The male, Micheal, asked it and I shook my head. "Beta?" I shook my head again. "Delta?" I shook my head again and swallowed hard.
"My-my step-mother's name is Lisa." I whispered it out before glancing at him. "I have... I have a little sister named Ellie and my big brother is named Simon, does that help?" I glanced at him, hopeful I was helping at least somewhat.
He gave me a nod and a soft smile. "Can you tell me any other names?" He leaned closer to me and I swallowed.
"Three of the females from the craft hall are called Dana, Edith, and Inez." That was what I could remember. "The male I was staying with, his name is Brochan. I have to get home to him. He's Maeve's daddy and he's probably really worried about her." I sniffled as tears fell from my eyes at the thought of him. He must have been so worried. "We have to go home. We have to take Maeve home." Lilith squeezed my hand again, the gesture comforting me as I gave a shaky inhale and sniffle. "He is probably so worried. The pack was attacked and I had to run into the river to escape and then I got lost." The words wavered and shook and I felt a sob in my throat. "I was so scared and I didn't know where I was going and I walked and walked and walked and-and-and I was so sick and I was so scared cause I couldn't feed Maeve and she was so hungry. And-and-and I hadn't eaten and I was sick and I felt like I would die and I was so scared that if I did she would die because she's so little and she can't take care of herself and I failed! I'm such a failure!" My voice shook so badly I felt like they weren't able to be understood before I let out a sob and then cried harshly as it all washed over me.
I had been so scared. I had tried so hard. I wanted to go home. I wanted to be there so I could see Simon and Ellie and so I could give Maeve to Brochan and tell him I was so so sorry for getting lost. That I was so sorry I hadn't been stronger and that she got sick. I wanted to tell him I was so sorry and that I wanted to go back to how things were.
I hated that the rogue had been there. I hated how he grabbed me I hated how I put Maeve in danger. I hated how I had been so scared. I hated that I had to run. I hated that I had to go into the river. I hated that I got sick. I hated that I had allowed Maeve to get sick. I hated that I hadn't been stronger. I hated that I hadn't been faster. I hated that I hadn't been smarter. I hated that I hadn't been enough. I hated it. I hated it so much.
"I want to go home." The sobs shredded the words and I cried harder, feeling useless and stupid and such a failure. My ribs hurt, the sobbing causing the gashes to ache unbearably and I hated that too. Maeve started crying as well and I hated that even more but all it did was make me cry harder.
"Hey, hey, hey." Micheal shushed me softly and I had the tears brushed away with a cold cloth and Lilith clutched my hand tightly. "I know this must be so stressful for you. I can't imagine being so lost from home and not knowing where I came from and being unsure if I could make it home again. But know that we are going to do our very best to make sure you get home to your loved ones." His words were soothing and I took a shuddering inhale and opened my puffy eyes, my bottom lip trembling as I looked at the large male through teary eyes.
"It's okay to cry. To be hurt, but you aren't a failure." His voice was so soft, like he was scared I was going to break and I took a shuddering inhale again and sniffled harder as he picked up Maeve. "You escaped a rogue, you hurt yourself to protect this little female here." He patted her back as he shushed her softly, calming her down. "You ran to what you thought was safety and the you kept her alive until you reached help. You did that. No one else did. You aren't a failure. You're a survivor." His words caused the trembling in my bottom lip to get worse.
I shook my head slightly, "But I-
"You know, he's right." The doctors voice was even as he cut me off and I glanced at him and he shifted in his chair. "You came to us filled with so much infection Jason and I were surprised your organs weren't failing. You were septic and I thought that we were bringing you into this infirmary to give you a comfortable death." He reached over and grabbed my other hand. "That is how sick you were." He gave it a warm squeeze. "But you fought and you fought hard just to survive. You beat back sepsis and an infection that, in my professional opinion, should have killed you. I hate telling my patients how bad off they were but I think you need to hear it."
"Now look at me." He gestured to me with his free hands. "Look right here, in my eyes." I sniffled and met his gaze. "You spent eight days in what was a coma while you fought against something that I was certain would kill you if Jason hadn't been there. You fought and you fought hard." His voice was stern and I let out a shuddering breath. "Everything was against you. You were attacked, you had to escape, you had to walk for Mene knows how long and keep that baby alive as you did so, all while suffering from a rampant infection what went septic and should have killed you. It didn't. Instead you are awake. You are talking to us. And you are crying."
"I don't-don't mean to-to cry." I stuttered it out, my breath hiccuping in and out as I did so.
He shook his head and gave me a smile, "No no. It's a good thing. It means you're alive." His smile grew to a grin as he gave my hand another squeeze. "So you go ahead and cry however much you want because believe me, I'm more excited to see that than anyone else because it means you are right here with us and you're going to be okay." I sniffled again and gave him a small, shaky smile. Even if I didn't feel like it, I did appreciate his words, that he believed in me. "You did better than anyone else would have, that isn't failure. So don't think it is, okay?" I nodded as he looked at me and Lilith squeezed my hand and when I looked at her she smiled.
"I know it's hard to hear positive things when you have believed the worst of yourself for so long but you did good." She lifted my hand and kissed the back of it. They were so nice to me. I didn't understand it. I was a half-breed, they knew I was one but they were still so nice.
"You really did well. Don't let anyone else tell you that you didn't." Micheal patted Maeve's back and she was quiet, chewing on her fist and I blinked back tears when I thought about how frantic Brochan would be at her being gone.
"Can I go home?" I whispered it out and Micheal let out a small sigh.
"Can you guys do anything with what she was able to give you?" He turned to look at the Hunters and one cleared his throat.
"It's not a lot to work with but we will put a bounty out on the male she was living with and the baby's father but its going to take some time." He tapped his notepad on his hand before shrugging. "If we had more to go on, it would be different but we don't have a lot to start with." He gave another shrug, giving me a rather closed mouth smile. "We will try and will keep you updated on any progress we make." With that the two Hunters were gone, the Alphas following them.
"Alright, I need to redo the salves on your wounds. I could see you grimacing." The doctor let go of my hand and stood up.
"Can I get her some food?" Lilith looked at the doctor, suddenly excited and at the mention my stomach growled almost viciously, cramping slightly.
"Broth, nothing heavier than that." He nodded and she squeezed my hand and then let it go.
"Okay!" She got to her feet and Micheal walked around the bed and put Maeve at my good side.
"I'll go with her and we will make up a bottle for the little miss, okay?" He looked down at me intently and I nodded. He gave me a soft smile and tugged the blanket up a bit more before patting my shin and following Lilith out the door.
"Ba." Maeve turned her little head to look at me, her expression serious and I nodded.
"I know." I swallowed, trying to ignore the cramping of my stomach as I moved my shaky arm to wrap around her, holding her close. "I know." I wanted to go home. I wanted to hear Brochan's voice. I gasped and jolted. "My phone! I had a phone!" I looked at the doctor with wide eyes. "It was in the diaper bag! In the pocket! It has phone numbers in it!" It did! I could call home. Hope surged up inside me and the doctor let out a rather sad sigh.
"We did find it but it was water logged. We put it in rice and left it for quite a few days but it just won't turn on. I'm sorry." The words were crushing and I felt tears well up at the fact the hope was so quickly crushed inside me. I couldn't even remember the numbers to try to call them. I just typed in names. "You'll get home." The doctor squeezed my arm before he adjusted the blanket and moved the gauze from the wounds. "Will need to put a new cover on these." He muttered it out and I turned to look at Maeve. She babbled to herself, her little nails scratching at my arm but I didn't care.
I wanted to get her home.
I just wanted to go home.