It was silent. Silent as it could get, not even the sound of a cricket was heard. This silence scares me. This silence is what keeps me up at night. Tears tickle my eyes as I glance at Emery, he was dead silent. It wasn’t even like he was breathing or couldn’t breathe. I was scared, scared Emery is going to look in my eyes and give me that same pity look my parents gave me. I needed Emery to talk or at least say anything. Anything is better than silence.
“What do you mean ill?” Emery hisses.
My stomach drops and my heart starts racing. My palms start sweating and I wipe them on my sweats. “You never realized? Not once?” I question, Emery shakes his head at me with questioning eyes. I sigh and stretch my left leg out and with shaky hands I roll up my pants until it gets to my knee cup. Emery stares at my knee with wide and surprising eyes.
For minutes we stayed like this, me showing off my prosthetic leg, Emery staring wide eyes at it, and silence. I didn’t know what to say and obviously Emery didn’t know what to say, so I came out with the ‘god news’.
“I’m not ill anymore for awhile I was. Actually for a hell of a long time I was,” I tell him. “I had osteosarcoma and they had to cut off my leg but after that I got better. A lot better, my bone cancer is gone completely gone. Gone as in never coming back again, the doctors caught it before it got worst but not before they had to cut off my leg,” I explain.
Emery finally snaps out of it and looks at me in the eyes. “That’s why you didn’t want me watching you cheer… You didn’t want me seeing your prosthetic leg, right?” I nod, he was right. And that’s exactly why I don’t let the guys watch me cheer as well. I guess I’m embarrassed more than anything. Then Emery nearly breaks out into tears, I slid closer to him. “when did this happen?” he practically screamed.
“A little over 2 years ago,” I mumble.
Emery looks at me, his eyes glistening with tears. “That’s when you stopped calling the least.”
I nod. “I was in the hospital a lot and then rehab.” Emery stares into my eyes and I almost feel like braking down into tears.
The pity. He has the pity in his eyes, the I should’ve answered your calls. He stared at me and was blaming himself, he was blaming himself for not being there. I hated the pity look, I didn’t need the pity look. I am healthy, I am alive. I don’t need someone giving me the pity look when I survived, how I am living. I would understand if someone gave my parents the pity look if I did die but he didn’t need to give me the pity look for being alive. Many others die from cancer, thousands! Millions! I feel you shouldn’t give someone who survived the pity look when they fought and fought and fought until they damn won the battle! Why would you want to give someone a pity look when they won. You need to give the pity look to someone who lost.
Call me crazy or call me selfish but its what I believe in. I also hate when people treat me differently because I have a fake leg, trust me I’m the same Cedes just with a different leg.
“Its all my fault.”
I laugh and look over at Emery. “Emery… It isn’t your fault my bones sucked.”
Emery sighs and looks at all the houses on my street, each house having no lights on. “It feels like my fault,” he mumbles.
I lean my head on Emery’s shoulder. “Well it isn’t, I promise you.”
*
On Monday I decided to stay home and my parents didn’t mind as I didn’t have lacrosse nor cheerleading. I wasn’t in the school mode, at all. After spilling everything last night I didn’t fall asleep until three or four in the morning, I just couldn’t fall asleep. No. Matter. What. It was awful, I was even tired, hell I was exhausted so I don’t know why I couldn’t fall asleep. Hopefully Emery got a lot of sleep.
“Cedes!” I jump when the front door slams shut and Noah’s deep voice calls through out the house.
“Yeah?!” I call back from the kitchen. I needed something to eat as it was already lunch time. “what’s up?” I ask when Noah walks in the kitchen.
“Cedes?” Noah whispers, I turn around and raise my eyebrows at Noah who was behind me. I squeal when Noah bends down and soon his warm lips are on mine. My eyes widen at the sudden action Noah made but soon I get sucked into the kiss and drop the fork in my hand, it hitting the floor underneath us. So many old memories wrapped around me when I felt the familiar butterflies I always got when he kissed me. I remembered always waking up to this comforting feeling.
Noah gently nips my bottom lip between his teeth before letting it go and kissing me again. Our lips moving in synch with each other. This kiss was amazing, just like it always was. Noah would always find away to trap me in his kissing and just make the world disappear and in this moment now, nothing in the world seemed to matter. Just me being this close to Noah. It was like a gift sent from heaven. And I was enjoying ever last second of it. To the strawberry and mint taste of his mouth to his hand gliding across my waist.
Finally, we push away from each other and just stare into each other’s eyes, the only sound is our heavy breathing. The stare was so….serious. It wasn’t like Noah, Noah’s usually the funny and not serious guy. It was just his personality so this stare scared the shit out of me. Yet, it felt comforting, his dark eyes staring into mine. Those dark, dark gorgeous eyes. This. This is what I missed, this relationship between Noah and I.
“I missed this,” Noah mumbles. I nod my head in agreement, afraid to speak as if this moment was going to be taken away from us at any given moment. “God, Cedes, I missed you.” I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him. Needing this moment to last forever. “wanna head upstairs?” he asks, I nod.
“Only if you carry me,” I murmur against his chest.
Noah’s chest rumbles against my face and his deep melody laugh echoes through out the house. “Alright, deal.” I smile and gasp when Noah takes my legs from right under me and carries me bridal style. I grab my sandwich then Noah carries me upstairs. We lay in my bed, Noah behind me, and we just watch random shows.
Just like old times.
Soon my eyes start to droop and Noah gives my temple a peck and I’m falling asleep.
*
I awoke from my sleep from a piercing scream. I rub my tired eyes and give them a couple seconds to adjust, I look over to see Noah sleeping peacefully by my side and my eyebrows crease. I carefully slip out of bed and walk into the game room where I see Emery and Matt playing black ops. I roll my eyes.
“Could you two be any louder,” I grumble as I walk over to the bed.
Matt looks over his shoulder then back at the TV screen. “Noah get pussy?” Matt asks.
My eyes widen at how blunt he is. “Excuse me?” I question.
I see the smirk on Matt’s face. “Oh don’t excuse me, we saw you and Noah together.” I sigh, great.
“Whatever, where’s everyone else?” I ask them but then Matt screams like a little girl and Emery laughs.
“Getting some food, your mom is working late tonight and dad is too,” Emery tells as he sticks his tongue out of his mouth and snipes Matt across the map.
Matt looks over at Emery. “Suck. A. Dick!” he complains. I roll my eyes and slowly start leaving their ‘bromance’ moment. I walk back into my room to see Noah getting up.
“Well good morning,” I joke. Noah pats the spot I was once in, I chuckle but slide into my bed. Noah lazily wraps his arm around my shoulder and I play with his long and thin hands. “what are we?” I ask after just sitting in silence.
“If you don’t mind, I would like my girlfriend back.”
I smile. “I think she wants you back as well.”
“Good,” Noah mumbles then his lips press onto mine.
“Get a room!” Cade yells. Noah and I push away from each other and Noah gives him the finger. Cade just winks at us and continues walking down the hallway.
“Come on, I’m hungry,” I whine as I pull Noah out of my bed.
Noah pouts. “You always choose food over me.”
“Food is better!” I tease as I walk out of room.
“Traitor!” Noah hollers. I smile to myself and throw myself on the game room bed and grab myself a slice of cheese pizza out of the pizza box.
“No PDA, please,” Ross pleases.
I lift an eyebrow at him. “When have we have ever kissed in front of you guys?” I challenge.
“True, true,” Ross mumbles.
Then Emery turns to look at me. “You guys dated before?” he wonders.
“For two years dude, two,” Matt tells as he clamps a hand on his shoulder.
“Well shit,” Emery grunted. “and never once did you PDA in front of the dudes?” he asks in disbelief.
“Never,” Noah states as he walks in and grabs the xbox controller out of Emery’s hand.
“Not even a quick peck?” I shake my head and go for another slice of pizza. “how in hell?”
“That’s what we said! If Cedes was my girl I’d bang her in front of you guys,” Chance comments. I glare at him and Noah flings the pizza out of his hands and onto the carpet.
“Boyfriend here,” Noah snaps.
Chance slowly looks over at him. “Do I look like I care? Seriously is this a face that gives two shits?” I shrug, it was true.
“So does this mean we cant spy on Cedes when she’s changing for Lacrosse?” Cade questions.
My jaw drops. “You guys don’t that, seriously tell me you don’t do that,” I cry. All the guys bursts into laughter.
“We’re joking, Cedes, we have respect for you,” Cade explains.
I snort. “Oh yeah defiantly seems like it.”
“Calm down Cedes, Cade’s just happy today because he jerked off in the bathroom,” Matt comments. This time I burst into laughter.
“Yeah to your mom,” Cade adds with a pissed off face.
“Dude you just got burned,” I tell Matt.
Matt flings his pizza at Cade. “Asshole,” he mutters.
I guess you could say my friends are just as crazy as they seem.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vote <3
Comment <3
And tell me what you think <3