"Jean, can I use the kitchen?" Shine asked, just the day after that.
Jean gave her a wary look. "Why?"
Shine shrugged. "I'm going back to the Morlock's tonight, if I can, and I was hoping to bring some food with me. Maybe have supper there. I can't carry too much, but Wally and I could at least bring a picnic's worth, right? If it's okay for me to use your ingredients..."
Jean blinked. "Well...I suppose for this it would be all right.... Do you want help?"
"I'd actually love help if you're not busy," Shine said. "Because...I'm not actually 100% sure how to use all of the appliances in here..." She looked nervous. "I was going to keep it simple, but then I thought, 'I could make cookies...' and then I thought, 'I have no idea if the brands I use are used widely yet, but I assume...' To be honest, I'm not sure."
Jean pictured Shine setting the kitchen on fire after hearing this.
"Well, of course I'll help," she said. "I'm not busy at all right now. In fact, I like cooking."
"Great," Shine said.
Wally looked in. "Shine, please tell me you have something for me to do."
"How do you feel about helping me make sandwiches?" Shine asked.
"If it's a job, I'll do it," Wally said. "But what do I get paid?"
Shine gave him a saucy look. "Maybe it depends how well you do."
Wally saluted. "At your service, ma'am."
[...They're married, okay?...]
Jean smiled. "You know, it's nice that you two do so much together. Scott and I usually only get to work together as X-men, and it's hard to find time to even date."
"Tell me about it." Shine began pulling ingredients out of the pantry.... She seemed to know where everything was already, to Jean's suspicion.
"Oh yeah." Wally was sneaking a snack behind her back. "It's really hard to carve out date night when you're this busy all the time.... Guess we don't have that problem here."
"Nope, and, Wally, we should totally go see Star Wars," Shine said. "It's just out." She gave him a look like that was a joke.
Wally blinked. "You mean...I could see the original, unedited version."
"No CGI," Shine said.
"Sign me up! Why didn't we do that already?!" Wally said. "I mean, I'm not a Star Trek guy, but give me that lightsaber stuff, and the Darth Vader and Han Solo, and it's a whole other story. And the wookie."
"Yeah," Shine said. "I'm sure it will be very special... Kind of might miss the CGI, though. I've never seen it without it. My mom swears it's better, though."
"Do you mean that new movie people keep talking about?" Jean said. "I think I've heard of it.... Of course, you know, outer space is nothing like that."
"Yeah, Wally's been to Space before, Jean," Shine said. "So've I, for that matter...on an alien warship...which was not the best way, but...what's wrong with imagining it a little differently?"
"Nothing I guess," Jean said.
"Hey, ladies," Wally said, "I'll race you. Say I make 100 sandwiches before you finish one batch of cookies."
"Mr. West, we don't have enough bread for that," Jean said.
"We only need about 60 anyway," Shine said. "And if we overdo it too much...they might get offended."
"Sandwiches...and salads?" Wally was missing the point.
"You know, whatever," Shine said. "We'll figure out what to do with it if we have extras, I guess."
"I might need to ask someone to go grocery shopping..." Jean muttered.
* * *
Jubilee actually was happy to do this, and she dragged Logan into it with her. She had to have a car.
Storm tagged along. She seemed to want to get out of the house.
"This reminds me of Christmas all over again," Jubilee said. "Jean said we need bread...and eggs...and milk...and butter--"
"Don't read the whole list, kid. That's why we have a list!" Logan interrupted.
"Miss Likstar said she wants me to find a bookstore," Jubilee said. "She wants to know where one is.... I don't know if there's one at the mall."
"No, but I'm sure there's one close," Storm said. "I can look for one--but why?"
"I don't know. She just said she needed to find somewhere to order a lot of books in bulk, and that the internet wasn't advanced enough yet for her to use Amazon," Jubilee said. "And I have no idea what she meant by that."
"Future talk," Logan said. "Best not to ask."
He was slowly just getting used to that idea.
"Well, Logan, either you look for the bookstore, or you go to the grocer's," Storm said.
"Out of those options? Food or dusty, old stacks of paper?" Logan said.
"I do have a lot of things..." Jubilee said.
"I'll look for the bookstore," Logan said.
Jubilee pouted but then shrugged. "I'm getting candy while I'm here too. And gum, so whatever." She walked away.
Logan sullenly followed Storm down the street.
"I don't know how she'd pay for books even if she ordered them," Storm muttered. "But it does bring to mind--if they are staying here for a long time should we give them some allowance?"
"For what?" Logan grumbled.
"Well, two grown people are going to want to be able to shop," Storm said.
"Then they can get a job," Logan said.
"I suppose, but if they spend a lot of time trying to help us, and the Morlocks now too, can they be expected to work also?" Storm said. "And how would they get to work without a car? We live in the country."
"Didn't stop 'em before," Logan said. "They can sort it out if they want."
"I suppose," Storm said. "At least this is a nice gesture...though the Morlocks may not see it that way. I don't know how to tell Miss Likstar that they are still proud."
"Not proud enough not to rob an ambulance and steal food," Logan said. "They won't say no, even if they don't like it." He frowned.
"You think it's wrong?" Storm asked.
"No," Logan said. "I think...actually they're doing the right thing, for once."
"What?" Storm had some reason to be stunned.
"It's one thing to say ya want to help someone," Logan said. "But to just use words and ignore them living' in squalor, because it's not your problem--I've seen it before."
Storm was silent for a moment before saying, "Is this directed at me?"
Logan hadn't even been thinking of that.
"No..."
"But it is," Storm said. "I suppose you're right. I did ignore them." She seemed sober. "I don't know why. I suppose I didn't know how to help them. They turned down my offer to let them live with us, so I left them to themselves...and, you know, I never suspected that bothered them in the least until Leech was ill and Callisto told me I was no leader to them. I decided to just give her back the title because I had failed...and you told me the same thing."
"I was angry--" Logan began, because now of course, it seemed kind of like a cheap shot to say that.
"No, you were right," Storm insisted. "I know it. But why didn't I do something? Truthfully, I fully expected Shine to fail as much as I did. I warned her about them, and she told me she would do as I did, but that it was something they could use, now. She said that my idea would never have worked.... Do you know, she said that with a smile? She didn't even think it was an insult."
"Maybe it wasn't," Logan said. "Not every idea works."
"I know." Storm was getting more upset, though trying to hide it. "But it was so simple for her to say it, like it was so clear I just didn't know what I was doing. If she'd meant to insult me, I wouldn't have cared--anyone can insult you just to build themselves up--but she was sure. And then she spoke to them, and they were mesmerized.... I can't blame them. It was better than anything I could have said."
"What the h--- did she say?" Logan was definitely hooked now.
Storm reflected. "She told them that suffering can make us blessed.... It's such a strange idea...but they were hanging on it. They're desperate for hope. But who'd have thought of such a thing?"
"Sounds crazy," Logan said.
"But they liked it," Storm said, "some of them. And she meant it, I could see that. I would swear, she was speaking from personal experience also. It didn't sound like she was just repeating something she'd been taught. I saw I was fully inadequate to the situation. I've hardly been able to look her in the eyes since. She must know."
"I...seriously doubt she'd even think about it," Logan said. "That would be weird."
"Maybe that's so, but I can't help but think of it," Storm said. "And now this. I never thought to do anything for them.... I pride myself on being compassionate...but is this how I am?"
Logan was not good at comforting people.
"Well..." he said uncomfortably, "maybe even the most compassionate of us don't have the answers for everything. It's not like any one of us ever gave it more thought, and what good would it have done? They're still stuck down there. They get by somehow. It's none of our business how."
"Is that really how you feel?" Storm said, a bit more heatedly. "Or are you just saying that because it's easier?"
Logan didn't even know the answer to that himself.
"Easy or not, what would we have done any different? They're their own people, and we want different things."
"So that means we have no obligation?" Storm said. "Callisto insisted there would be no X-men coming back.... I can't help but think she's still angry over what happened, and I can't even blame her."
Logan noticed it was clouding over.
"Storm," he said, "you're gettin' worked up."
Storm looked up. "Oh...I didn't even notice..." She focused and it cleared up.
"See? That's what happens when ya let this stuff get to ya," Logan said. "We ain't got nothin' we owe the Morlocks, so stop thinkin' about it. If Likstar wants to play charity to them, she'll find out quick enough they'll come to expect it from 'er. And then what? She won't be around to baby them forever. It's better people learn to take care of themselves."
That was always his way.
"But still, is doing nothing right?" Storm argued.
This might be the way they were the most different. Storm would always do something, even if it was not the smartest thing to do. Logan was happy to stay out of it if he didn't absolutely have to get involved.
But on this matter, Storm really suspected he might just be making an excuse.
Logan suspected it himself, but he didn't like it.
"I don't have any answers," he said sullenly. "Ask her--she's got 'em figured out, doesn't she?"
He was being sarcastic, but Storm mused over it.
"I suppose I could," she said. "Perhaps I ought to admit she beat me. It would be honorable."
"That's.... I was kiddin'," Logan said. "You give her a reason to hold that over your head, she'll do anything."
"I don't think she will," Storm said. "She could have already.... You noticed, she didn't blame Gambit for what happened. Rogue told me just yesterday that Miss Likstar told her that she wasn't upset over what he said anymore. And that she's not asking us to stop him."
Storm didn't mention that Rogue had included Logan in this, as she didn't think it would be prudent.
"Good, he's not gonna listen anyway," Logan said.
Storm frowned. "Perhaps they just don't want to cause trouble in the team--that is what she told her. And I can't actually think of a time they asked us to defend them or complained about it. Rogue and I have tried to keep the peace, but we're not succeeding."
"The Cajun is not going to like having a couple of strangers around, doing things," Logan said. "And the Preacher too. He's lovin' this, and I guess he can if he wants. I don't care, but Gumbo thinks it's all a waste of time."
"But why should he dislike them?" Storm said. "So what if it's a waste of time? They're happy. It's not harming us. The only problem is him provoking them. And he speaks to Kurt that way too, and Kurt is harmless. Actually, I like Kurt."
"Gambit always did like to point out if someone was a little different." Logan saw no irony in this. "He just doesn't like that they don't think like us. Which they don't, but they're harmless, mostly. If the worst they can come up with is this, than I doubt they'll do anythin' we need to worry about."
"You sure have changed your position from before," Storm said.
"After almost two weeks, I figure if they were goin' to do somethin' worse, they would have," Logan said.
"I agree, they would have...so why does he still think he needs to provoke them? he's never been like this before," Storm said. "Rogue is worried, you know."
"She worries about him too much."
"Logan, there are times..." Storm said. "I mean...does it ever occur to you that if someone in the team is having a hard time, there might be more to it than it appears? Suppose he is bothered because of a deeper problem?"
"Then he can talk about it. He never tells anyone anythin'," Logan said. "Someone wants help, let them ask."
"People are ashamed to ask sometimes..." Storm said, too quietly.
"If he won't ask, he won't get any sympathy from me," Logan said. "And if picking'on a couple of weirdos and a Preacher who wouldn't hurt a fly is his way of dealing with it, I think he deserves what he gets."
Storm frowned. "He is our friend."
"And if he was really our friend, he'd tell us what his problem is," Logan said. "That whole thing goes both ways. I've had a ton of problems since joining the X-men, but I told someone. Had to, it was dangerous otherwise. So he's got no excuse."
"We all have problems," Storm said. "And I think everyone is well aware of mine also, but we have never had a very clear idea of Gambit's. All I know is, it seems like he is afraid of something with them, and I can't decide what it is. But if he is afraid, I think we should help him."
"You can't always help someone not be afraid," Logan said darkly. "Sometimes they have to face that fear on their own. Nursing 'em along just makes it worse."
Storm recalled a little too vividly Logan's approach to her private fears on the job... True, she'd eventually managed to do her job anyway...but her fears were still there. She had never really gotten over it.
So maybe you had to try anyway, but...that didn't fix it.
Still, she had nothing better than that to suggest, so what could she say?
* * *
When they returned, Shine and Jean and Wally had a buffet's worth of food either made or being ready to get made.
"I don't know how you did that so quickly," Jean said to Wally. "It seems every time I turn around you had a dozen more finished."
"I have a good arm." Wally winked at Shine, who stifled a laugh.
"Well," Shine said, "we have to cook ours...but you have two ovens, and that's great. If only I could finish cookies that fast normally."
"Well, we have a lot of people to feed," Jean said. "But I should warn you Gambit like to come in and add spices and things to my food. If you catch him in here, throw him out by the boots. I won't have him meddling with my cooking."
Jean was a little scary about this.
"I guess that too many cooks spoil the soup thing is pretty literal for you," Wally said.
"It's true," Jean said.
"I don't know," Shine said. "Maybe a little innovation wouldn't be a bad thing."
Jean gave her a terrible look.
"Not for you," Shine said. "But I've never really gotten to try Louisiana cooking. Sounds interesting."
"Don't you let him," Jean said. "You'll never hear the end of it."
"I can't believe the X-men fight over food," Wally said.
"I've seen you fight with your friends over who gets to be the green one in that robot game you play," Shine said.
"But that's important!" Wally said. "Because its arms are longer."
"I thought you said they weren't."
"I said that so he wouldn't take it!" Wally said.
"Men." Shine rolled her eyes.
"I've seen you fight with your sisters over literally nothing," Wally said. "Like, you just saying something random and pretending to fight over it."
"That is because we spent way too much time together, and we have to break up the tedium of our home lives," Shine said.
"Well, ditto!" Wally shot back.
Jean didn't get them at all.
"We're back." Jubilee came in carrying a bunch of bags. "Logan wouldn't help me shop, but I got him to carry stuff."
"And we did find a bookstore," Storm said. "I hope it's what you wanted."
Shine took the paper she handed her. "Thanks."
She moved towards the dining room table. "Let's just make sure we have everything..."
"If you have the butter, I need it now," Jean said.
"Here." Jubilee handed her some. "I gotta put all this away..."
"Ooh, gum," Wally said.
"That's mine!" Jubilee snatched it from him.
"If you're done, send someone else next time," Logan huffed, putting down more bags. "I'm not yer errand boy."
"Speaking of food," Shine said, "that potluck is tomorrow. Are you coming?"
"Why would I?" Logan said.
"Because you're totally a chicken if you don't," Shine said. "Come now, it's just a potluck. You think they'll bite you?"
"Maybe they will," Logan said.
"I never thought Wolverine was so skittish," Shine said to Wally, with an eye roll.
"Don't you try that," Logan said. "I know what you're doin', sister, and it's not gonna work."
"Of course it won't," Shine said. "You're much too smart to let me get around you like that."
"This some kind of reverse psychology?" Logan said.
"No," Shine said. "This is where I confuse you until you give in just to get me to leave you alone. And it's going to work, because I will literally not stop until you do. Besides, Rogue is going, and Jubilee is too. And if you're going to let a couple of little girls be braver than you, I think it speaks for itself."
Storm hid a smile.
"I ain't scared," Logan said. "But I ain't a people person."
"Neither am I," Shine said. "At least, I didn't used to be. You can learn. Besides, someone has to help us carry the stuff we're making to bring to it."
"Please?" Jubilee gave him the doe eyes.
"Ah..." Logan was giving in, but he just stalked out of the room.
"That was inspiring," Wally said, licking a batter stick. "How do I get on your level?"
"Dream on, babe," Shine said. "We're girls, that's just a huge advantage to a guy like that. Right, Jubilee?"
"Right." Jubilee didn't actually get why, but she grinned anyway.
"Talk about a White Knight," Wally muttered. "Hacks..."
* * *
Jean actually drove Shine and Wally back to the Morlocks, so they didn't have to walk there with the stuff...though Shine said, cryptically, that they would have been fine.
"And you're sure you'll be safe," she said. "They may...you know...change their minds about you."
"We'll be fine," Shine said. "Don't wait up."
"She's kind of...a little..." Wally said after Jean left.
"Smothering?" Shine said. "Yeah, she's kind of, but she means it well."
"I know, I just feel like a 5-year old when she talks like that," Wally said.
"Better than her not caring at all," Shine said. "Gambit said 'hope dey don't decide to eat you instead' before I walked out.... I told him I was impressed that he knew Verne's works enough to make that joke. He had no clue what I meant."
"I'm glad you're over it," Wally said. "I kind of think he's funny, you know, but he's sure trying to be a jerk."
"I know, but after a few days, it becomes funny that anyone would keep trying that if it's not working," Shine said. "I'm sure he'll give up soon."
She wasn't actually totally sure.
[By the way, if you don't know, the Morlocks were a cannibalistic, underground species in the old classic The Time Machine. Which is a very dark book I personally didn't like, but the name is quite fitting since they were mutants, evolved humans, but had evolved backwards, sort of like how the Morlocks are mutants that seem to be less human and less evolved than others.]
"You talked to him, didn't you? But he didn't act any different," Wally said. "Maybe he's just determined to not like us."
"I wouldn't mind if he didn't like us," Shine said, "if he was fair about it. Not all the others like us either. But Scott at least stays out of our way as much as he can. He doesn't pick fights. It stresses the others out to have someone trying to get us worked up. And Kurt--he really doesn't deserve it."
"If he's doing this with us," Wally said, "then he's gonna have to put up with the treatment we get. Just like we're putting up with the kind he gets. He knows that. He's tough."
"I know he's tough, but I hate to put anyone through that, small as it is. He deals with enough rejection from humans," Shine said.
"We can't count," Wally said. "Thinking about all the people who hate you is just too much. You have to think about the people who like you and rely on you instead. They're the ones who matter."
"But I think enemies matter too," Shine said.
"Yeah, they matter, but they can't decide how you live. Kurt will be fine," Wally said.
Shine nodded. "Okay...yeah, you're right.... It's up to him anyway."
"You keep saying I'm right, I'm gonna start expecting it," Wally said.
"Oh, shut up," Shine said.
They reached the main spot with the Morlocks hiding out in it.
Their reception was much warmer this time...from some, anyway.
They gave them the food they brought, with the explanation that it was a peace offering for how they'd shown up last time.
Callisto accepted this, as Logan had predicted. She wasn't exactly in a position to turn it down. If she appreciated them trying to spare her pride, she didn't let on.
The kids and adults who were far too hungry to have pride were much more excited about it.
Even some of the ones who didn't like Shine's speech of before warmed up to the idea of free food.
Shine also had brought her Bible with her this time, to talk to them more about faith, and she decided to jokingly start off with the story of how Jesus fed the 5,000.
The kids liked that a little boy had been the instigator for that.
"Do you think if we shared our food we could feed a bunch of people?" one little girl asked.
Wally shrugged. "Who knows? Anything's possible."
"More importantly," Shine said, "whether we see a miracle like that or not, we share what we have. I've given away half my lunch before because it was what was handy. I think it's the gesture itself, not how much you have, that matters."
A few more Morlocks joined their party for her talking about the Bible. They couldn't help but be curious, and without a huge crowd to watch them, they were less timid.
Callisto hung around, like she was playing watchdog, but didn't participate.
Wally gave her a sandwich.
"Seriously," he said, "it's okay. Take it for letting us come back."
"I don't need it," she said roughly.
"It's just us being respectful," Wally said. "If you don't think it looks like we're just pushing you around."
She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Leave me alone."
"Right, sorry." Wally backed off. "It's so hard to get some people to take a little kindness," he muttered to himself. "She's like Wolverine but female..."
Shine did ask Callisto later if Kurt could come with them.
"He's not an X-men, if it helps," she said. "Just a regular mutant, outcast, like you. Even other mutants don't like him."
"I guess he'd fit." Callisto was not one to turn down a mutant who was in trouble. "But that's it."
"Suppose if the X-men wanted to make up for the past, you'd still not let them down here?" Shine asked. "I mean...I know, it's your business, but I don't get it. They aren't so bad."
"I'm not stupid," Callisto said. "You avoided them getting involved--why?"
Shine was silent for a moment then she said, "They don't understand me."
"I guess that's your answer, then, Priestess." Callisto had taken to calling her this, mostly to mock, but it was sort of becoming a serious title now. "They don't understand us either. I won't have them acting like they do. Gives the Morlocks weird ideas too."
Shine pursed her lips. "I see.... It's okay to bring them down here, to your level, but not okay if they raise you up to theirs. In a way, the dark tunnels are comforting. When you hide for so long, the light itself becomes frightening to you. The Truth is a cave."
"What?" Callisto said.
"Plato," Shine said. "The idea that truth is a cave, and outside of it is the actual truth, but we live in the cave, and we fear what's outside it.... He was close to the Bible. It says we walk in darkness, like the blind leading the blind. And that those who belong to the dark, hate those who have the light."
"I'm not one for all that nonsense," Callisto said. "We are safe down here. We are not safe anywhere else."
"A peculiar thing about that," Shine said, "is that at first you hate being stuck here, then you get used to it, and then, you get so as you need it. Like in Shawshank Redemption...which hasn't been made...nevermind.... But you can't live down here forever. Literally, someone is bound to investigate these tunnels eventually. I just think maybe you should have a backup plan."
"We barely survive one day to the next," Callisto said. "We can't think that far ahead. We'll deal with it, if and when, it happens."
Shine nodded. "I see...but you know...even if some of your people wanted to come up top and try their hand at it, if you say no, they'll probably be afraid. People are often only as brave as their leader. If you stay, that is up to you. And your right. But, if it is just out of fear, I do think it will backfire. I've never known it not to."
"And I'm sure you've had to deal with hiding so much," Callisto said sarcastically. "You preach if you want, girl, but don't pretend to understand."
"If I was just like you, I couldn't offer you anything new," Shine said, a bit warmly. "And we'd both be the same bitter, miserable people. But I think you all love each other, and that's a good thing. Maybe I'm not one who hides so much.... I have hid, but not like this. And I've been afraid, many times, even if not for that reason. If I can understand fear, then why does it matter if I understand your particular situation perfectly? We can't exactly swap lives here, can we? I know fear, and I know it's a prison, that's all. But I think you also have a good thing here, in a way. I'm just concerned that at the cost of nothing changing, you'll try to keep it just the same, and maybe not all of you are as fully on board with that. I don't believe in the many holding the few back from improving their lives if they can. That's all."
"And that's none of your concern," Callisto said.
"Fine," Shine said. "But if I'm right, and you see it, without me having to do anything, I wonder what will happen." She let it drop after that.
Of course it was just what Callisto feared, that people would think she wasn't doing a good enough job here.
But for now there was no sign of that. The Morlocks were loving the novelty of having visitors, and that was their chief concern, and those who had latched on to hope, they were drinking it in.
But it wasn't about leaving, not yet. And it seemed likely to stay that way if nothing else changed.
[I wonder if something else will change with that obvious set up...]