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. . . I can leave it in the past, but you're holding on to what you never had. . .
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CHAPTER 56
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I blinked my eyes a few times as I tried hard to focus on the TV in the living room. It's sound kept fading away as the ringing in my ears became stronger every few minutes.
I grabbed my head with my hands, silently cursing under my breath. I kept my eyes tightly shut until the wave of ringing passed by.
It had been like this for a few days now. After Haechan left for some reason I couldn't get a minute of sleep. I wasn't sure if his betrayal did that to me or the constant wondering about his probably non-existant plan to get me out of here. I wasn't sure if I could even believe him at this point. I needed to talk to someone, but I had no one to talk to.
That awful out-of-space feeling of loneliness and like I didn't belong where I was was painfully destroying me and the headaches that were becoming more unbearable every time they returned were only making me feel worse.
"You okay, girl?" A women questioned from the other couch. My ears recognised it as the barbie's voice. There was no one else in the house anyways.
I looked up to catch her bluish-almost grey careless eyes. She grabbed a handful of crisps before returning her eyes back on me and waiting for an answer even though she obviously didn't care. Maybe she'd even be happy with the condition I was in.
I nodded, finally letting go of my own head as I leaned back in the armchair and tried to keep watching the movie I was no longer interested in since I missed way too much because of the sudden waves of pain in my head.
Somehow Jennie– as unfriendly as she was towards me managed to get herself to ask me to watch a movie with her. Obviously having to watch over me alone wasn't as fun as when she was day-drinking with Krystal, so as much as she didn't want to, she had to have me keep her company.
Surprisingly that didn't end up as bad as I expected. Although as cold and uninterested, at least without the other woman around she was a lot nicer to me. Like the other was nothing but bad influence on her.
"You sure about that? Do you need another painkiller?"
I tried to shake my head, it would have been the third one that day and it wasn't working the way it was supposed to. However I had to lean forward again. The once again worsening pain didn't hesitate to reach my stomach too. I felt like I'd throw up, yet I had no idea how the head was connected to my stomach in such a strange way.
The barbie didn't wait longer for my answer. Instead she stood up, sighing deeply, pausing the movie as well– at least she seemed to be enjoying it. Then she walked to the kitchen and back with another glass of water and another pill for my headache.
"Thanks..." I murmured with a small smile just to show gratitude as I took the glass of freezing cold water.
Again, unexpectedly, the barbie lifted her lips in a small smile too even though she didn't say anything else after, just started walking back to the other couch to take back her seat.
I sighed and threw the pill in my mouth swallowing it with a few sips of water. But as soon as I straightened down my head my vision completely faded behind tiny black dots that quickly overtook the picture of the living room. The only sound still audible besides the long beep in my ears was that of a shattering glass before I felt my body hitting the back supporter of the couch before stumbling down on it.
I tried to keep my eyes opened. The lines of Jennie's fading face as she shook my body and inaudibly screamed my name were the last things I saw before I no longer managed to keep myself awake.
I could no longer hear her shouting, I could no longer feel her arms shaking my shoulders. I completely blacked out.
• • •
"Soji! Over here!!" The new child whisper-yelled from a half opened entrance of a building, catching the running girl's attention.
Soji looked behind her, running ahead as fast as her legs could push. Her heart was racing in her chest, especially when she spotted the group of men catching up to her as they were turning around the corner after her, yelling and cursing endlessly.
Luckily the pathway was empty, that way she didn't have more people getting in her way. So before they finally enter the pathway she ran inside the building the kid called her from. Both of them sprinted down the stairs, knowing exactly where they lead– a rotten wide place that once used to be an underground parking lot, but now was filled with some water and a lot of rats.
The two sprinted through the darkness, their feet soaked wet from the ten centimetres above ground water they ran through. They looked at each other, barely catching their sparkling eyes in the darkness trying not to laugh too hard.
Both of them were thieves for so long, yet it was their first time being caught pickpocketing. Their veins were overrun with adrenaline, they sounded crazy in their own ears for laughing in such a dangerous situation. What's worse was the fact that their descriptions would most probably be turned in to the police and that wouldn't make their boss happy at all.
But at the moment they didn't even care. They didn't even think about that as they stopped catching their breaths from both running for so long and laughing so hard. Once she finally managed to stop laughing, Soji sighed, putting the full backpack on her back. "Thanks, Hyuck. I'd be dead meat if you didn't find this place."
"Anytime, Ji." He smiled high-fiving her before they started walking slowly again. "They will never find us here, don't worry. They probably don't even know where this parking leads." The boy assured, noticing that the girl kept peeking back as they continued.
Now instead of continuously peeking back, the girl's green eyes focused on the boy beside her in curiosity. They were coming closer to the exit of the wide dark parking lot, so her eyes were slowly getting more of their sage colour as they got exposed to the light. "And where does it lead?"
"You'll see." The boy smirked to himself, before running a hand through his now longer and a lot cleaner pitch black hair than it used to be a few months ago.
He was right. Becoming part of the gang of kids that looked always neat and clean wasn't easy. He went through beatings from time to time and he was locked in the horrible basement a few times. But at least he had a roof above his head, clean clothes and he didn't have to worry about food or clean water. Besides he spent the winter coming home to a warm place to sleep.
The only thing that was bothering him was the way Soji was being treated. He hated when the girl that had been smiling and laughing with him during the days while they were out would suddenly completely change her mood when she'd have to go to sleep. In the room that was supposed to be a lot better and warmer and comfortable than the others', their boss' room, her room...
In a minute they were out of the parking lot, above ground and except for the tall buildings around here across the street, Soji could see the river and the exact same bridge she was spending whole days under, just remembering her happiest days and waiting for her best friend to come back for her.
It's been more than nine months now and to be honest with herself, Soji had had times when she'd almost completely give up hope, even besides trusting Jina more than she trusted her own self.
She looked at the boy beside her as they sat down on the small white stones. After she met him, whenever she would lose hope, he brought it back to her. He spoke of Jina as if he knew her, even though he only knew all about her because Soji wouldn't stop talking about her. She wasn't sure if he did that to comfort her or he ended up having more hope about saving Soji from Minhyuk than Soji herself.
The girl sighed deeply, returning her eyes on the loudly gurgling river. "Hyuck.."
"Hmm?"
The girl's smile slowly faded while she refused to look back at him. "Do you think she forgot about me?"
The boy's chocolate eyes immediately fell on her. His eyebrows lifted in surprise. "What?! No." He shook his head. He could understand where she came from, after all it's been more than nine months since Jina had left. He would've probably started losing hope by now too. But he knew the only thing actually keeping Soji alive was the fact that her best friend would come back and take her away from there. Even if he himself sometimes didn't believe that would happen, he didn't want Soji to lose hope.
"Why would you say that?"
Soji shrugged looking down at her lap. "I don't know... Lately I feel like Minhyuk is the only one that actually cares about me."
Donghyuck's expression became even more serious."Ji!"
"What?" Soji finally looked at him. Her eyes as hopeless as one's could get. She sounded like she actually believes what she was saying and Donghyuck didn't like that the least bit.
"It's the truth. He might not be the best person, but he still does everything for–"
"Ji!!" The girl stiffened as the boy raised his voice. Her eyes lowered, staring down at the ground. He made her feel guilty for saying that, but she couldn't hide that lately it was the way she felt for real.
"Don't you dare say that again." The boy scolded her. "I care about you. Jina cares about you... I don't know her, but Jina will come back for you. Just wait a little longer."
The girl sighed again, hugging her knees closer to her. She hid her face in her knees to stop her eyes from tearing up and she mumbled silently enough for only her to understand what she was saying. She didn't need more scolding from the boy.
"I'm starting to think that day will never come..."
• • •
''Gosh....'' I mumbled the moment I woke up with the weakest voice that ever left my throat. My head was still throbbing. The painful ringing in my ears didn't seem to have stopped either. At least it wasn't as bad as before.
I slowly opened my eyes and of course, the first thing I had to see as they adapted to the brightness of the room was him beside me on the bed.
When our eyes met he quickly straightened his posture and grabbed a glass filled with water from the nightstand, a pill in his other hand. His gaze a lot softer for a change.
I slowly sat up, carefully watching his movements, without saying a thing. Listening to his long sigh and pondering the exact meaning of it as he neared a glass of water to my face and a few different pills. My guess– vitamins and antibiotics, also painkiller.
"You're not eating, you're not sleeping—" Minhyuk started talking placing his hands in front of my face. "You're not doing anything Soji and it results in you blacking out." His tone was flatter then a field of freshly cut grass, yet it had a bit of worry hidden behind it. I wasn't sure, maybe I got delusional because of the headaches.
I leaned my body on the back supporter of the bed as he placed a pill in my mouth. He'd make me drink the water from his hand, but I took it as well as the rest of the pills, shoving them one by one down my theoat.
"I can't have you die on me Soji." He said lowly and shivers ran down my spine. I hated him, but he was so good at manipulating me in thinking that he was the only person that actually cared about me. He almost made me feel guilty, staring at my lap as I gulped avoiding his honeyed eyes.
How could I fall back into his claws again..? I was disappointing my own self.
Glancing at him from the side of my eyes I scoffed. "Spear me with that sensitivity..." I layed down in the bed again, turning my back to him. ''You only use me for your own pleasure... like I'm an addiction that you can't get help for..."
Silence fell in the room, but it wasn't the good one. It was filled with tension and I was actually scared of what he was going to do, cause his actions scared me far more than his words. I shut my eyes closed, expecting anything from behind my back. I didn't take a breath in until he finally spoke.
"Not cool, kitten. I care about you and look what you're saying... not cool at all." Another disappointed sigh at the end of the sentence.
I felt his hand on my head making me shiver, running through my hair until he leaned down and placed a kiss on my face. My jaw clenched tightly. My own brain screaming 'Come on, Kim Soji, you can endure it.'
"I'll forgive you for saying that..." He whispered lowly in my ear. His breathe tickling my earlobe, making me squeeze my eyes shut one more time in nothing more than pure disgust. "You're not in your right mind right now. But next time you say something like that, you know what will happen." He gripped my forearm and got up from the bed. "I'll have maids take care of you until you get back in form. Get some rest now."
Of course I knew what will happen. It had happened too many times now...
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To be continued. . .