"Where were you guys?" a voice rang out across the room as we trudged inside. It was hours after darkness had fallen, and I had no idea who was talking. In fact, I couldn't have been sure at that moment that I hadn't imagined it. The events of the day had been so surreal that I wasn't processing reality very well anymore.
I didn't bother to answer and instead walked straight past the others who'd been at home the whole time and entered the kitchen. I needed to be alone to think. There'd been too much going on at the hospital for me to even begin to sort out what had happened at the mall—who had been hurt and what I'd learned about the Parrishables.
How could they expect me to just talk to them like everything was okay? We'd been attacked and I was pretty sure that our enemies wouldn't have stopped until we were . . . could they have actually killed us? I mean, taking out a bunch of adults was bad enough, but would they really have been able to kill a bunch of kids? It had sure looked like things were headed that way before I froze everyone and got us out of there.
I hated to think about what might've happened if the spell hadn't worked.
I went to the fridge and retrieved a bottle of sparkling water before collapsing at the kitchen table. I took a big swig and stared blankly out the window.
"They're asking questions out there," Fallon said, traipsing in a few seconds later. "What are you going to tell them?"
"Nothing yet," I said.
I didn't even glance up as Sascha joined us at the table. She still had on the same blood-stained clothes from earlier and I couldn't stand to look at the reminder of what had happened to my friends because I couldn't protect them.
"Are you kidding?" Fallon asked. "We were gone the entire day and now we just showed up in the middle of the night looking like extras from a Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie. Jasmine and Jinx are in the hospital and you expect the others not to wonder what's going on? You can't just ignore this and expect it to go away."
The combination of stress, fear, and exhaustion was finally catching up with me and I could feel myself begin to lose it. I was like a rubber band that was being pulled all the way back—I knew I was about to snap.
"What am I supposed to say, Fallon? That our worst nightmares came true today? That the Parrishables really are after us and they're not going to lay off just because we're kids? They'd have filleted us alive today if they'd had the chance. Or maybe you want me to let everyone in on the fact that we're down two people, one of whom is currently fighting for her life! We got away today because we were lucky. And chances are, we're not going to be that lucky again. Is that the kind of honesty you want me to dish out?"
"Yes!" Fallon yelled back. "This is exactly why I took off earlier. You keep treating us like dumb kids, when we're in this thing too. You're not the only one who can handle bad news, Hadley. We all lost our parents back home. We're all being chased by these guys. We all deserve to know the truth!"
"You want to be treated like an adult, Fallon? How about not running off, so we don't have to chase after you and endanger our lives to save yours," I said.
It wasn't what I'd intended to say, but I was emotionally bankrupt and physically drained and once again Fallon had pushed me to the brink.
"I may have left, but you know as well as I do that this was not my fault," he said nastily. "I heard what that guy said to you back there."
My heart began to race double time and I suddenly felt faint as I realized what this could mean. Was it possible that Fallon had heard what the muscle-head and I had talked about at the mall? The noise levels had been so loud and we were all so focused on not dying that I'd figured our convo had been lost to everyone else.
But apparently it hadn't.
"Admit it! You're the reason the Parrishables are after us," he accused, confirming all my fears. "Everything always has to be about you. And that's what's getting people killed. I just don't get why everyone thinks you're so special!"
"Enough!" Sascha screamed.
Fallon and I both jumped at the sound and pivoted to see her standing now. We'd been so entrenched in our argument that we hadn't even heard her get up from her chair. Sascha had been silent the entire ride home, so her outburst was enough to render us quiet for the time being.
"Hadley, don't you dare make him feel like this is all his fault. We're family now and we will always help one of our own," Sascha said, giving me a look. Then she turned to Fallon. "As misguided and careless as they may be."
This was both of our faults. I looked down at the floor and thought carefully about what to say next. When I finally spoke, it was directed toward Fallon. "You think I'm happy that some crazy reverend guy is obsessed with me?" I asked.
Then, before I even knew it was coming, I began to laugh.
I'm not sure if it was because I was tired or maybe I'd finally lost it, but suddenly what he was saying seemed like the funniest thing in the world. Fallon's face morphed into astonishment as I leaned back in hysterics. And then the reality of what he'd said hit me and I laughed so hard I began to cry.
I cried because he was right.
I still had no idea why, but the reverend's henchman had made it clear that I was the reason all of this was happening. Which meant I was responsible for the deaths of our parents. And the fact that Jasmine and Jinx were both injured, so swollen and bruised that they needed round-the-clock medical care, was because of me, too.
Dammit, I'd been trying everything in my power not to go there. The last thing I wanted to do was relive the experience of being in the hospital where we'd just left the others. It had been hard enough being there the first time. But I couldn't stop my brain from recalling what had happened, like it was a movie on repeat.
By the time we'd gotten to the hospital, the two girls were in pretty bad shape. Smelling salts had done the trick to wake Jasmine, although the doctor said she'd hit her head so hard that she had a concussion. Even though she was awake now and talking, she needed to be monitored closely for the next forty-eight hours to make sure there wasn't more serious damage.
They checked out Sascha too, but besides the fact that the poor girl looked like a human punching bag, she wasn't too worse for the wear.
Jinx, on the other hand, had been rushed into emergency surgery because her injuries were so severe. When the doctor assigned to Jinx's case questioned us about what had happened, I'd told her that we'd been jumped by some gang members at the mall and I wasn't sure what they'd hit Jinx with. This was technically true since I hadn't seen the spells they'd used on her. And what else was I supposed to say? My friend was hit by a spell? Yeah, right.
The reality was that whatever they'd used to attack her, they'd gotten her good. The hole burned into her side was over an inch in length and the bad guys had somehow managed to knick her liver and cause internal bleeding. I knew things were bad on account of all the blood, but apparently ripping open your internal organs is even worse. As they wheeled Jinx off to the restricted area where they'd attempt to put her back together, the nurses promised me she'd be in good hands and ordered us all to go home, since visiting hours were over and we wouldn't be able to help her from the waiting room anyway.
And now I was realizing that it was all my fault.
When I'd cried all I could, I wiped my eyes clumsily with the backs of my hands and turned to face them both.
"Look, Fallon, I didn't ask for any of this. I was happy just being a cheerleader at my high school. Leading the student council and going to homecoming. I was fine with leaving the big-time magic to the professionals—like Ellen DeGeneres or Christopher Walken—and just doing my own thing at home," I said quietly. There was no fight left in me. "But you're right. I don't know why they're after me, but they are. People are hurt because of me."
"You're not the only one they're waging war on, Had," Sascha said, finally having calmed down. "Like I said, we're in this together."
What she said set something off in my head and suddenly everything seemed clear. I knew what I had to do to make everything right.
"Maybe we shouldn't be," I said, reaching over and grabbing my purse off the back of the chair.
"What are you talking about?" Fallon asked.
"The Parrishables are after me. Not you guys, just me," I said, pointing to myself unceremoniously. "You're safer here without me."
I began to walk out of the kitchen and toward the front door.
"Hadley!" Sascha pleaded. "You can't go."
I stopped halfway down the hall but didn't turn around.
"I have to," I said, tearing up again. "Keep training. Take care of each other."
Remembering what Emory had shared with me, I wrestled with whether or not to warn them. I was still no closer to knowing who the traitor was and wasn't sure I should say anything to them either. In the end, I decided to give them something in the middle.
"Be careful."
Then, without another word, I walked out the door.
It took me an hour of driving to stop shaking. And even when I did, I couldn't seem to shut off my mind. It just kept whirring as I obsessed over what I was doing. I'd left my coven, the only people in the world who knew about the battle that was growing in the magical world. I'd left the remaining Cleri members to fend for themselves, in a cabin they barely knew, with no adults to take care of them.
But I had no choice.
The Parrishables had gone after our parents so that they couldn't defend me. They'd hurt Jinx and Jasmine because they were at the mall with me. Anyone who was close to me was in danger of being hurt—maybe worse. No, too many people had already died because of me and I wouldn't let anyone else join them. Even if it meant facing my enemies alone.
I knew that going home was dangerous. I wasn't stupid. Even with my advanced powers, it was going to be a long shot that I'd be able to defeat them if they all came at me at once. But at least I could draw them away from the rest of the Cleri and give them a chance to make it out of this alive.
It also meant I wouldn't be distracted worrying about them.
I could give 100 percent of my attention to destroying the Parrishables. I could train twenty-four hours a day if I wanted to. I'd up my combat training until I was the ultimate fighter and come up with a plan to go after them. With the element of surprise and my magical abilities, I might be able to overtake them. After all, hadn't they already admitted that I was a force to be reckoned with? Even if I didn't know why, it had to mean I had a chance of winning.
And right now, that was enough for me.
So I headed home, because I figured it was the last place anyone would think I'd go. I mean, who would be crazy enough to head back to the scene of the crime? Besides me, of course.
As I pulled up to the place I used to call home, I partly expected the lights to be on inside and my parents to be anxiously waiting for me to get home safely before they could go to bed. But instead, the whole place was dark. Though barely any time had passed since I'd left, the lawn somehow looked a little straggly to me and the whole place gave off an abandoned feel.
So as not to send the message to my enemies that I was back home and open for an attack, I drove right past my house and parked a few streets away. Exiting the car, I rushed through yards, hoping that I could make it to the house undetected. The sooner I got inside, the better I'd feel. I let myself in the front door, locking it behind me, and then stood there listening for any noises that might mean I wasn't alone in the house. When my paranoia was met with silence, I relaxed and found my way through the darkness to the stairs, knowing exactly where to step after years of sneaking up and down for midnight snacks.
Once I'd reached my bedroom, I went inside and closed the door behind me. I performed a spell that I'd nicknamed "What happens in this room, stays in this room" because it allowed me to move around unseen and unheard. After I was done casting this spell, I would be able to do anything I wanted, and to anyone outside, the room would appear empty and dark.
Only when I was finished casting did I turn on the light. I took a deep breath and ran over to my bed, throwing myself onto the mattress and taking in my familiar bedroom smell. Flipping over onto my back, I looked around the room, analyzing everything.
It was exactly the same, so either no one had bothered to break in after I'd left or they'd been so good at snooping that they'd managed to make it look like they were never here. The thought of someone else being in our house while I was gone filled me with anxiety. As I felt it creeping up my chest, I forced myself to get up and focus on something else before the unease took over my brain.
Heading back downstairs, I began to cast the same spell as the one I'd performed on my room in each of the other rooms of the house, so that no matter what I did inside, people outside would still assume nobody was home. And because it took more than one person to cast a protection spell around a whole house, I settled for setting noisy alarms instead. That way if someone did break in, at least I'd know about it and have a chance to get away. But before I booby-trapped the back door, I walked outside to check on the note I'd left my dad. If he'd gotten my message, he would've written back. He still hadn't called me, which made me think they'd found him, just like they'd found Mom and the others. But if by some miracle he had managed to get away, I liked to think he'd try to get to me somehow.
I retrieved the magic rock and looked inside, seeing with dismay that my original note was still there and appeared untouched. The air I'd been holding in escaped my lips and, sadly, I replaced the rock before going back inside and setting the final alarm.
Climbing the stairs seemed nearly impossible, but I forced my legs to move and finally made it back up to my room. I sealed the door behind me and climbed into bed. I didn't even have a chance to give any thought to what I was going to do next before my body gave in to sleep.