My first reaction was to run to the window and check if Santiago's black suburban was still there. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw it sitting there still parked behind my car.
"Hello? Mona, are you there?"
I wanted to hang up, in fact I knew I should have but my curiosity had other plans. "Yes. I'm still here. What about Rafael?"
The loud chatter in her background made it hard for me to hear what she was saying, almost like she was working as a telemarketer.
"We just had a few questions in regard to your husbands whereabouts last night. We believe he was a key witness in a murder." A murder? Not that the idea was farfetched after what Ana revealed to me but there was no way that could have happened while I slept. "Alejandro Colombo's murder."
"Excuse me?"
It couldn't be. Rafael couldn't have killed him. When would he even have had the time?
"Alejandro Colombo, ma'am. His body was found full with bullet holes this morning in his home. We have reason to believe your husband is involved." She cleared her throat after which told me she was nervous. Something wasn't adding up.
I rushed to throw on my clothes while holding the phone between my shoulder and my ear. "Has he been arrested?"
"No, ma'am bu-"
"Then I have nothing to say." I hang up the phone and threw it on my bed so that I could properly dress myself. When I was all done, I grabbed my purse and my phone and slipped on my shoes before heading downstairs. Santiago was lounging on the couch watching and episode of property brothers while eating an apple. He turned when he heard me coming down the stairs.
"Santi, I need to go to Rafael."
His relaxed posture tensed at the sight of distress on my face. He stood from the couch and grabbed his phone. "He's at the office. I can take you."
"Please."
I was happy when Santiago led me to the suburban rather than offering to tail my car since I wasn't in the right state of mind to be driving. I didn't bother calling Rafael just in case my phone was somehow compromised, instead, I resumed my usual texts to my mother and Sophia as if nothing changed.
When we pulled up the warehouse, Rafe's car was the only one in the parking lot. Santi barely had time to put the car in park before I was jumping out of it and rushing inside the building. I ran through the building all the way to the office my husband and I shared. I could hear his deep voice coming from the other side of the door, easing my stress a little.
He was pacing back and forth when I pushed the door open. He was speaking Italian, fast and uninterrupted, like he was angry. If the situation were different, I would have been turned on.
He turned to face me when he heard the door open but didn't stop his conversation. He waved me over to him and I didn't hesitate to step into his arms. I took a deep breath in, letting his scent engulf me. There was nowhere I felt safer than in his arms. What would I do if he weren't here with me right now?
"Assicurati di segnalarmi tutto. Conto su di te. Ciao. (Make sure you report everything back to me. I'm counting on you. Bye)."
He hung up the phone and set it on his desk. He wrapped his arms around me and let out a big sigh. He was stressing, that was clear.
"What are you doing here? I told Santiago to drive you to your mom's." He pulled me back so he could look at me while I answered his question.
"I went to my mom's, but he brought me here because I got a call." I cleared my throat and tried to compose myself before I asked this next question. "Did you kill Alejandro?"
He looked down then looked back up at me. I could see the fury behind his eyes. The hunger and the want. He did it and he did not regret a single moment of it. I immediately felt sick. These were the parts I couldn't handle yet.
I tried backing out of his embrace, but his grip tightened. "Cara, I need you to listen to me. There is nothing I won't do when it comes to you. At all. Samuel was a warning. The target is you. I have every intention of killing anyone involved in the plan to kill you."
"Raf-"
"I meant it when I said that I plan to kill Levi. His dad just happened to be home instead of him, so I sent a message myself. I know you have, or had, a soft spot for Alejandro but he was going to let his son take you from me. Don't try to fight me on this, you'll just be wasting your breath."
I creased my forehead, trying to better understand and process my shock. Sam was dead. Alejandro was dead. Levi was trying to kill me. What had I done? What could I have possibly been involved in that made him want to kill me that bad? The card...
"What did the card say, Rafael?"
He looked confused for a moment, trying to grasp what I was talking about. He must have played the events of the past couple of days in his head to figure out what I was talking about because suddenly his jaw hardened, and he stood up straight. "Nothing. Don't worry about it, Mona."
"Don't do that." My voice shook but I didn't back down. "This is about me. I need to know what that card said because since then two people have died."
He turned away from me and went around his desk to the filing cabinet. He pulled it open and pulled out a blue folder with my name on it. It was thick with papers, making me wonder what exactly a file on me meant and what could be in there.
"You're my responsibility, Mona. Everything that could ever get to you goes through me." He opened the folder and the wrinkled card sat at the top of all the papers. He pulled it out and slowly handed it to me.
I didn't hesitate to open it and read it.
Mona,
I'll keep this short. You belong to me, all of you. I have seen all of you and I can't rest until you're with me. If I can't have you, no one can.
Your love,
Levi
Nothing in the card surprised me except for him saying he'd seen all of me. That's why Rafael was so adamant about knowing whether or not he had ever been in my mom's house. But why was that so important? There was something I was clearly missing, and I knew Rafael wasn't going to tell me.
Rafael came back around the desk to stand in front of me. Both of his hands rested on either side of my face forcing me to focus on him standing in front of me. "Cara, we're at war with Levi. I need you to start being more careful and aware of your surroundings. I'll have Santiago trailing you every time you leave the house and I'll have eyes watching you, but I need you to play your part."
We were at war. Because of me. For me. I didn't want this. I just wanted to go to school and come home to my husband and my mom. My mom....
"Rafael what about my mom? Does she know what's going on? I have to tell her. Levi could be trying to get to her right now." The thought of something happening to my mom nearly had me falling to the ground. I don't know what I would do if I lost her.
"Mona, breathe.."
I hadn't realized my breathing had changed or that I couldn't really feel my hands. My heart felt heavier and like it was working over-time. Spots contaminated my vision and I felt clammy. The tell-tale signs of a panic attack.
"It's okay, Tesoro. Your mom is safe."
I could hear him, but it was like my brain was already in protection mode. I put a hand over my chest to try to calm myself down. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine something calming. A beach. The island. Kekoa.
I could feel myself progressively getting back to my normal state. When all felt right but my stomach, Rafael didn't hesitate to bring me the trash bin to hurl in. I didn't stop until my entire lunch filled the bin and stank up the office. I wanted to be embarrassed but I couldn't with all the things clouding my mind.
"I'm sorry, Rafe."
He handed me a water to which I gladly drank a generous amount to settle my stomach and get rid of the excess chunks that decided to stay in my mouth.
He rubbed my back and pulled me into his chest. "Don't apologize, Mona. It's okay baby. Your mom is safe. I promise. It's better that you don't know where she is for now."
I nodded my head in understanding. I know what he was trying to say without really saying it. Ana hadn't exactly glamorized being the boss's wife, but I couldn't help but feel a little unprepared in, well, everything. Rafe had done such a great job at keeping me apart from that, that now that we were in a situation that called for experience, I was like dead weight keeping him back.
"You said someone called you earlier. Who?"
I took a seat in the nearest spot. "Some woman who said she was from the sheriff's office. Jane something. She was asking about you in connection to Alejandro Colombo's death. I didn't tell her anything."
He ran a hand through his hair while he thought about something. "Let me see your phone."
I grabbed my purse and fished for my phone. I checked to see if I had any texts before handing it to him. I could tell he was going through my recent calls, probably trying to find the number associated with the woman that called earlier. He would only find that there was no caller ID and no immediate way of getting in contact with her. I figured he'd look into it a little more later.
"Should I be using my phone normally? I'm not sure how she got my number, and I don't want to use it if its hacked."
He threw my phone back in my direction. I had a mini heart attack but, was glad when I caught it.
"Yeah. Don't change anything or do anything different. If they have your number, you're most likely being watched. I don't think your phone is tapped. They couldn't do it if they wanted to. Bryan installed some anti-tapping software on your phone when you first got it."
I would have been annoyed about both the tracking and anti-tapping software installations without my knowledge but, I was starting to understand why these things were necessary. It actually made me respect his craft a little more. He covered his tracks well in advance, like a boss should.
"I'm so sorry, Rafael. I can't help but feel like I got you into this mess, got everyone in this mess." I sighed, while rubbing my forehead. "What if I talk to him? Make him see what he's doing is wrong?"
I knew what I was saying would be met with deaf ears, but it was worth a shot. I'm not even sure I meant it. I just wanted it all to stop. I wanted this war to stop. I wanted my mom, and my sister, and my dad. I even wanted Ana. They say ignorance is bliss for a reason.
"Even if that was a possibility, I'd kill him before he could come near you, cara."
And I knew he was dead serious. The tone of his voice told me I shouldn't poke any further.
A knock on the door couldn't have come at a better time. Rafael called for the person to come in. Dom strolled in ever so gracefully, holding a pistol with a silencer attached. I should probably get one of those.
"Hey Mona." He acknowledged me briefly before giving Rafael a serious look. I didn't understand the silent conversation, but Rafael must have because he sprang up from his position and grabbed his own gun from the drawer.
"You sure?" Rafael looked down at his wristwatch. "It's way too early."
Dom nodded. "Yeah, I saw it with my own eyes."
"Merda. Raduna i ragazzi. Entriamo stasera.( Shit. Round up the boys. We're going in tonight.)" He tucked his gun at the back of his pants, underneath his shirt.
Dom nodded once and left the room, almost soldier like.
"Rafe, what's going on?" My lack of understanding Italian was almost becoming dangerous for me. Everyone was able to speak it but me and it seemed like he issied most of his commands in his native tongue.
"Mona, I need you to go home. Right now. Ana and Pablo should already be there as well as a few of my men." He grabbed my purse and urged me to stand up. He was moving urgently, like we were a moments away at being attacked.
"Is it Levi?" I tried to keep my balance as he pushed me ahead of him to get out of the warehouse. "Rafe! I can walk on my own!"
"I need you to hurry up. This shit is not a game."
I didn't argue back. It would have been pointless.
------
Just like Rafael had said, Ana and Pablo were waiting for me back at the house. What I wasn't expecting were their sons and Sophia with Arlene. I wondered who was back home in charge if they were here.
I greeted everyone, happy that I wouldn't be cooped up alone worrying about my husband. Ana shooed me upstairs, urging me to shower and change before the dinner she was preparing was ready. Upstairs, I took a quick shower, not even bothering to wash my hair. I threw on a pair of athletic leggings with a matching top and some fuzzy socks before joining everyone downstairs. Compared to them, I'd be severely underdressed, but I didn't care because this was my house.
Everyone was seated around the dinner table when I came back down. They were engaged in conversation as if we weren't in imminent danger. It was so... normal. I mean I guess for them, this was normal. This was their everyday. I was a stranger on the outside looking in.
I was about to sit when I remembered Kekoa hadn't been out since I left for school this morning. I found him lying down in the living room on our expensive rug. I couldn't be mad at him. I knew his stress levels must have been high with so many people around the past few days.
"Come here, Kekoa." I called out to him. He stretched before coming to me. I walked towards the backyard and made sure to follow him out. The two men keeping patrol waved at me kindly, before going back to doing their jobs.
When we came back in, he followed me to the dining table where everyone had already began eating. I took my seat between Sophia and Pablo Jr. Sophia and Pablo Sr. Were engaged in a conversation while Ana and her sons were having a conversation of their own in Spanish.
I ate in silence, too misinformed to join in on either conversation. The Argentinian stew settled nicely in my stomach, and I was finished with it in no time. I was the first one up, rounding up the finished bowls to take to the kitchen. Ana helped me, carrying in what I couldn't.
"It's okay to be stressed, Mona. He'll come back to you."
I sighed, finally acknowledging that I was silently carrying around my anxiety not knowing what was going on with Rafael. "I don't know why he won't just tell me what's going on. Everything has to be a secret with him."
Ana laughed through her nose while scrapping what was left in the bowls in the trash. "Some things have to be a secret. There's a reason you can't know everything. He's trying to protect you the best way he knows how."
I hadn't considered it that way. If I knew everything, I'd be a target. To all of his enemies.
"Tonight is just routine drop off stuff. They were expecting a shipment, but it got in the wrong hands. Apparently, this was planned by another gang." I didn't make me feel any better, but it did ease my worry a little to know that he was not going to face Levi.
I washed the dishes, while Ana dried them and put them in their designated area. She had spent so much time in this kitchen, that she knew where everything went. We talked and giggled about my training stories and how well I was progressing while still maintain good grades in school.
Living in a house with five rooms always felt excessive, but tonight it was well needed. I showed everyone to their rooms, making sure they were all comfortable and had everything they needed before retiring to my own. Kekoa was tucked in beside me, already fast asleep.
My mind was racing trying to think of the best. Rafael would come home to me. I fell asleep with that very idea running through my mind.
-----
The next morning, I woke up to the sound of water running and the smell of wet grass. The clothes Rafael had been wearing were thrown about on the carpet, in desperate need of a wash cycle. Kekoa was nowhere to be found which must have meant he let him out whenever he came back in.
I sat up in the bed and stretched, feeling well rested. My bedside clock told me it was well past 11, which meant I really slept in. I jumped out of bed, remembering we had guests who were probably awaiting mine and Rafael's presence since this was our house.
I walked into the foggy bathroom, ignoring the fact that Rafael's very naked body was on the other side of the shower curtain and got right to brushing my teeth.
"Buongiorno, amore mio!"
I smiled through the toothpaste, "Buenos dias." I answered back in Spanish. He was pleasantly in a good mood, that I could tell. Whatever had been bothering him yesterday was a non-factor now.
I quickly rinsed out my mouth before washing my face. I put my hair in a high bun before dashing out of the bathroom. I changed my clothes into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and slipped on my converse. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and promptly left the room.
Downstairs, mayhem ensued with Arlene's piercing cry while Sophia was preparing a bottle and Pablo's booming voice taking a call. Ana was nowhere to be found but both of her son's we're glued to their laptops and cellphones.
Pablo Jr was the first to notice me. He got up from where he sat to greet me. "Buenos dias, senorita. I hope you slept well." His accent would have melted me if I was married to my Rafael. But now it just seemed a little too sultry for my liking.
"Thank you. Como si estuviera durmiendo en una nube (Like I was sleeping on a cloud)."
He smiled, satisfied with my answer before going back to where he sat. I went around the room, greeting everyone else and wishing them a Good day. I took a seat next to Sophia at the kitchen island.
"Where's Dom?" I questioned.
"Upstairs sleeping." She grabbed Arlene's bib and put it on her shoulder before feeding her. "He was up with Arlene when they got in at 6, which im so thankful for after the kind of night im sure he had. He only fell asleep at 9."
Wow. I must have been exhausted not to even hear Rafael come in. Not only that, but I had completely missed breakfast. I wondered if I was somehow coming down with a cold. I sure wasn't looking forward to that.
"Don't you have school today?" Sophia questioned.
Fuck! How could I have forgotten about my regular day to day life? I pulled out my pone and checked my calendar. It was a regular school day, not a clinical, which meant I could be redeemed. "The stress has been eating my memory alive. That's not something I would forget to do ever."
Sophia nodded and put Arlene to sit on her lap so she could burp her.
Rafael strolled down the stairs wearing white silk pants and a light blue silk button up. He looked like he was dressed to go on a boat in Miami. Just as I had done, he greeted everyone sincerely before stopping in front of me. He pulled me up out of my seat and planted a wet kiss on my lips. I was a little taken back, but not in disgust.
"My beautiful wife. I love you so much."
I smiled slowly, confused on where this attitude may have came from. I knew he loved me but, he hardly expressed it to me so boldly like he just did. "I love you too, mi amor."
"Take it upstairs you two!" Ana's voice had me turning my head to find where she'd come from.
She was drenched in sweat from the bottom of her leggings to the neckline of her jacket. Her hair was in a high ponytail but a few stray always had a mind of their own as they matted to her forehead where the sweat shined. Her cheeks had just enough red on them to let me know she'd pushed herself past her limits and kept going. Her body was insanely toned and in great shape. Kekoa followed her in, panting as if his life depended on it.
She greeted her husband with a kiss and her sons with a kiss on the cheek. She waved at us before vowing she'd come back and greet us properly after a well needed shower.
"Are you hungry? I can make us lunch." I whispered to Rafael when he pulled me into him.
I could feel his smirk on the column of my neck. "I am hungry but, I don't want lunch."
I lightly smacked his arm and giggled. "I'm serious. I can make us a light salad or something and then we can have barbeque for dinner."
He nodded his head then leaned in to place a sweeter kiss on my lips. "Yes." Peck. "I would like that very much."
"Okay, okay, enough PDA in front of the minor here." I laughed out loud at Sophia's disgust of our very public display of affection. I had seen her assault Dom's tongue on one too many occasions but this was where the line was crossed? Interesting.
-----
While the guy's retired to the 'strategy room', and Sophia and Arlene had opted for a nap, me and Ana didn't hesitate to start on the barbeque. Growing up, it had been one of my favorite things to help my mom prepare. It felt almost the same to be helping Ana.
"How are you holding up with everything? You look like you're getting sick."
I sighed, taking a brief pause from turning over the meat. Truth was, I wasn't doing much holding up. I was just trying to live life day by day because it had become so unpredictable lately. "I'm doing okay, for the most part. I'm... adjusting."
She eyed me hard, clearly not interested in my rehearsed answer. "Don't lie to me, mija. If there's something you want to talk about, you know you can always talk to me."
I nodded my head and the frog in my throat increased. I swallowed to ease the feeling of wanting to cry. "I don't know if I can do this, Ana. I want to be supportive for Rafael, but I can't help but to think of the worst when he's out of my sight. It's just been a lot lately. I have too much on my plate."
She nodded her head in pity. She came over to where I stood and rubbed my back. "Mira, when I first married Pablo, I wanted nothing to do with him. I could care less about his gang and what they were doing, until he almost died. He came home with a knife the length of my forearm in his stomach, blood everywhere, in and out of consciousness, just barely able to breathe. I remember helping the guys carry him to our infirmary, silently praying that he would be okay. I prayed a man I did not love would be okay. I stayed with him day in and day out, overseeing his care. When he woke up almost ten days later, the first thing he said to me was that the reason he was fighting so hard for his life was to get back to me. Can you believe it?" Her sniffle indicated that this was a hard story for her to tell. "When Rafael's out there I want you to remember that he's doing everything he can to get back to you."
I nodded my head and wiped the lone tear that had escaped.
Everyone sat around the pool chatting and eating, while loud music played. The scene looked like it was out of a movie the day before something bad happened where everyone felt at peace. I enjoyed myself and ate until I felt like I was going to pop, but there was still a looming feeling.
I wanted to live in this moment forever. The winds cool touch on my skin and through my hair. The sunset, a beaming swirl of purple and pink. Home made lemonade with enough sugar to make my teeth fall out. This was perfect.
I caught Rafael's eye just across the pool where he was playing catch with Kekoa and having a beer with Dom. He smirked and took a swig, while his eyes checked me out. I shook my head no, silently telling him that we could do whatever he had in mind later, in the confines of our bedrooms.
"Do you have bandaids, Mona? I cut myself trying to cut more lemons."
I glanced at Ana's gushing finger, trying to place where the bleeding was coming from.
"Yes, upstairs. Try to apply some pressure on it. Ill go get the first aid kit."
I rushed in the house and up the stairs to my room. I rummaged through the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, not caring in the slightest that I was making a mess. When I couldn't find it there, I moved to the space below the sink where it sat, collecting dust. I grabbed it without so much as a thought, knocking over my unused tampons in the process.
I raced back out of the room and down the stairs back to the patio where the festivities ensued. I cleaned up Ana's cut and made sure a secure band aid was around her finger before sending her off. The entire time while I cleaned her wound something haunted the back of my mind. My unused tampons. How had I not noticed? My sudden need for long naps, the nausea and vomiting, my fuller breasts; the tale tell signs of pregnancy.
I looked back across the pool at my beautiful husband. He was laughing at something Dom said while keeping his eyes trained on Kekoa. In that moment, I could see the rest of our lives. Our children running in the backyard while Rafael chased them. I'd be watching from the window with a big smile on my face, not caring in the slightest that they were getting dirt on the clothes I'd just washed.
I didn't think about the difficulties of getting through nursing school or the situation that we were in. It didn't matter right now when I carried a life so precious that represented my husband and me.
The loud pop in the air pulled me out of my trance. It took me awhile to register that it was the sound of guns. Pablo Jr, pulled me down as bullets flew through our backyard hectically. My heart raced as I searched for my husband. It was hard to see him couched down behind a bush with his own weapon drawn at first, but I felt relieved when I did see him.
I searched for Sophia next. She was crouched behind the grill, cradling Arlene so close to her chest. Something in my wanted to go protect them, but the weight of Pablo fought against my own and I lost.
I darted my eyes around the backyard, counting heads while the loud pops sounded closer and more frequent. If this was the end of my perfect day, I wouldn't complain because I had lived a beautiful life and found love in my husband.
My eyes caught a pair of legs, unmoving and still. I moved the length of them, wanting to match the face with body. I wanted to scream when Ana's lifeless eyes were looking back at me.