''Fuck this shit'' you exclaimed as you tossed your History notes away from you, crossed your arms on the table and put your head between them.
The exam was two months away, but you were stressing out already as you could not even grasp the main ideas of the subject.
''You need to relax a bit'' Mikasa muttered as she put her hand on your shoulder. ''You'll pass the exam, as always''
''Yeah! I don't get it either but you're smart so you'll master it soon enough'' added Eren, who was laying his head on her shoulder.
''Thank you, guys...'' You uttered, smiling. ''You're always so nice. But this is really making my head hurt''.
Your friends were supportive every time you had a crisis regarding college, and they didn't worry that much because, as Mikasa said, you always ended up passing the exams, you were that type of person. You studied a lot and got amazing grades. But that goddamn subject was making you question your mental capacity. It made you feel stupid and lowered your self esteem.
''If I don't pass this exam I swear I'm gonna unalive myself'' you said, and the couple laughed.
''You could ask Horse Face for help though'' suggested Eren. ''You know I can't stand him but I gotta admit that man's got a big brain''.
He was right. Jean Kirschtein was one of the best students you've ever shared classes with. He gets superlative marks on most subjects and all the professors like him. Not only that, but he is also stunning. Super tall, cute, intelligent... All the girls from Law drool over him and ask for his help with homework or exams just so they can get his attention, but you've never seen him actually dating any of them as he spent time with his friends only.
You wished you had those girls' determination when it came to talking to Jean. There was something about him that made you feel nervous, his presence was intimidating. You have shared small conversations in the past, you even caught him looking at you a couple of times but it was probably just by chance. Of course, those eye contact moments made your heart skip a beat.
''You're right. I should talk to him''. You nodded, although you didn't really consider doing so. ''Dunno if his brain is bigger than mine though''. Asking for help meant that you were not capable of comprehending it on your own, and your big ass ego wouldn't let you surrender to that. ''I have class now so I should get going'' you said as you got up from your chair.
''Good luck'' whispered Mikasa. ''See you later Y/N!'' said Eren happily as he waved his hand and held Mikasa by her waist with the other one. They should be getting to class with you, but for those love birds making out in the bathroom as the rest of the people were in class seemed far more interesting than History.
As always, you arrived to class and sat at the back of the classroom. Some other people had big friend groups, but you didn't have other friends at college apart from Mikasa and Eren and you had no intentions of changing that, college was not a place to mess around and chit chat. You were perfectly fine sitting alone and taking down notes as the professor spoke, even though History was not an interest of yours. You had to get a good mark on the exam, even if you had to spend countless nights reading and reviewing all over again. Your attention was fixed on her words, and there was nothing that could distract you from-
''Hey Y/N. Is this seat taken?''
You stopped taking notes and glanced up to see Jean with his hand on the chair next to you. He looked even taller from your point of view. His eyes roved over your body, quickly.
''It isn't. You can take the chair if you need it'' you uttered, trying to sound casual, and not making much eye contact.
''Or I could just sit here with you'' He replied confidently, his eyes still hooked on yours. ''Connie and Sasha are not coming today and I don't wanna be by myself all morning''
''Oh, um...'' It looked like your plans of being alone were off the table. ''Sure!'' you nodded and looked down at your notes again, timidly. Why were you so nervous all of the sudden? It was just Jean, a guy from class, sitting next to you because he had no one else to do so. 'Put it together, Y/N!' you thought, as you would not allow him to see how his presence affected you.
Jean took out a notebook for his backpack and opened it. ''So...did she mention anything important? Something I should write down?'' he said as he grabbed a pen and looked directly at you.
''Not really. Just exam topics that we've already worked with''. You were doodling on the side of your notes to avoid his gaze.
''Oh good. We don't have to be here then, we could just leave''. He probably had everything about the subject figured out already. He had no need to be there and neither did you, but you always showed up to revision classes anyway.
''Well, I prefer to stay, just in case'' you replied while looking at the professor as she answered a student's question.
''Hey'' Jean cupped your chin in his hand and made you face him. ''Look at me''. His tone was commanding but sweet at the same time so you had no other choice but to do as he says.
''Oh.. Um... '' you felt like you were about to piss your pants, your hands on the table were a bit shaky. ''Sorry...I'm just taking notes'' you finally replied with an unsteady voice. You couldn't hide your uneasiness anymore and just hoped that Jean wouldn't notice.
''Well, I'd prefer if you looked at me when I talk to you'' He released his grip slowly from your face. ''You don't have to take notes now anyway''
''I know'' you assured. ''I just wanna do everything well and that means attending class and trying my best'' you blurted out, with honesty.
Jean rested his arm on the table and put his hand on his cheek as he listened to you. ''What a good girl. Trying to do the right things...'' he said, smoothly. ''But c'mon, you're smart, you don't need any more notes'' Your eyes widened as you heard those words come out of his mouth.
You knew you were intelligent and responsible, but hearing it from him was a whole different story. It felt... validating. As if someone was finally noticing your hard work. You haven't felt very fond of yourself lately, so his words certainly did something to you. And you really wanted to hear them again.
''Why did you draw sad faces in your History notes?'' He asked, chuckling. You were so lost in your thoughts you didn't notice that he had grabbed your notebook and was flipping through the pages.
''Oh, it's nothing. I doodle all the time. You like them?'' you pointed out to him with your index finger how all the pages had drawings.
''Yeah they're cute. But there's no need to lie, love'' Jean uttered, smiling. ''In Law II and Theory of Crime, you drew some stars, hearts, and clouds'' He slid his finger to the next page. ''History, on the other hand...''
''I just don't like History'' you stopped him and snatched your notebook from his hands. He was very observant, not even you noticed how your doodles were different there, it was probably a subconscious thing. ''And don't call me love'' It's not that you didn't like it, but it sounded condescending to you.
He just laughed and crossed his arms. ''I'm guessing you need help with History'' He was too smart. ''You can come over to my house this weekend and I'll give you a hand''.
''I don't think I need help with History. Thanks though.'' You didn't want to sound so cold, but his confidence was intimidating you more and more. Jean knew that you were just resisting, and you would give in to his charm at some point. He just needed to work his way through you.
''You sure you don't need me?'' You frowned and Jean laughed. ''Don't be so hard-headed. Look, don't see it as helping. We can be study buddies. I help you and you help me''. He stretched his hand for a handshake. ''What do you say?''
You looked at his hand, which was certainly bigger than yours, and started to think. He didn't need your help at all, but he worded it like that so you would let your guard down. After all, you were being hard-headed considering you didn't want anyone to help you. Jean was the most intelligent guy there, and even if you couldn't admit it, you did need a lot of help with History.
''Fine'' You sighed and shook his hand firmly. Jean smirked and shook it back tightly. ''Ah. I knew you were a good girl''.
Yes, yes you were a good girl for him. ''Don't make me regret it'' You let go of him and went back to your notes so he wouldn't notice your blushed cheeks.
''Oh, you won't''.