My lips leave a trail of kisses down Ella's neck while she digs her nails into my back. Low moans escape her lips as she tries to remain quiet since we have several other people in the house. Her lips find my shoulder and she bites on it softly, earning a groan from me. My lips collide with hers once more and our tongues dance together like we were made for each other. My fingers intertwine with hers and we stop for a minute to look into each others eyes.
"Ella.. I really want to do this but I don't think that it's right." I whisper lowly and disappointment invades her eyes. She tries to move from under me to get her clothes back on and I can see she's on the verge of tears. "Hey hey, wait a second."
"Josh, it's fine, I don't need your pity. I understand that you don't find me attractive enough and you just want to be my friend, cool, don't worry." Her words cut me like knives and I grab her hands preventing her from moving. "Ellie, you know that's not true. I mean you are literally under me and I know you can feel what's going on down there, if you know what I mean." Her expression relaxes a bit and the tears that she was fighting are no longer there. "What I actually meant was that it's not right for me to sleep with you without even taking you out on a proper date before."
Her face is now covered in complete shock, I know that this wasn't at all what she was expecting to hear from me. I have never been this proud of you, Joshy. I'm in tears, sniff sniff. Ugh Jack, shut the fuck up will you. "Josh, are you serious?" Ella stares into my eyes looking for any signs that I'm lying to her or joking.
I move myself to lay beside her and she lays on her side to face me. "I've never been more serious, Ella. We clearly cannot be friends, we're not made for that. But we cannot just have that conversation yesterday and sleep together this morning, I respect you too much for that." The smile that I remember seeing 6 years ago on that sweet innocent girl is now all over Ella's face. She places her hand on my cheek and presses her lips to mine which I gladly return.
"Uh, sorry mister gentleman, I don't know if I'm allowed to kiss you or if that's also for after the date." Ella mocks me and I softly shove her playfully while rolling my eyes. She gets up slightly and grabs the tshirt I took off last night and puts it on. "So, is you stealing my whole wardrobe part of this new arrangement of ours?" I raise my eyebrow and she laughs, laying with her back to me. I spoon her and she nods her head softly. "Yes, get used to it."
We stay in bed for a while, just spooning but I was careful enough to hide her actual clothes before someone got into the room and got the complete wrong impression, wrong-ish mister cause you were almost there bad boy. Ella ends up drifting to sleep, since she woke up so early and got home so late last night.
I'm almost falling asleep myself, feeling completely comfortable laying here with her, until I hear my bedroom door open. I lift up my head and look at Samuel, bringing my finger to my lips to ask him to not make any noise. Judging by his expression, I think he was way too shocked by the sight to actually be able to form a sentence. He just mouths to me that lunch is ready and I nod and let him know that we will be right there.
Sam leaves the room and closes the door. I press soft kisses to Ella's face until she wakes up and she lets out a small sigh. "I hope you know that I refuse to get up, Josh, I'm way too comfortable." I laugh and nod. "I agree, it's almost a crime but Sam just came in here and said that lunch is ready, we have to go."
"Sam saw us like this?!" Ella immediately gets up and looks around for her clothes. I let out a loud laugh and point to where I hid her clothes. She walks towards them and starts putting them on. I just lay in bed and watch her with an amused face. "Relax, he didn't see anything, he just saw us laying together, it's not like it's a crime."
"Are you aware that we're going to get downstairs and everyone will know about this already and we will suffer a questioning very similar to the Inquisition?" Well, cannot say that she's wrong. As soon as Samuel arrived downstairs he for sure told everyone what was happening and now we will suffer the consequences. "What are we going to tell them?" Ella sits on the bed looking at me, waiting for me to be the one to answer that question.
"Well, I don't want to tell them that we're dating.." Ella frowns and I roll my eyes. "Let me finish my sentences, please? I don't want to tell them that we're dating because I want to properly ask you out if you'll still take me after our date." This time she smiles and I get up, put on my tshirt and some old sneakers. I hold out my hand to help her get up and connect my lips with hers, giving her a long and passionate kiss. "You know what you mean to me, and I promise we will make it official but let's enjoy our time together before that. I'm not going to say that we're just friends either, that would be a blunt lie."
"And when are you planning on taking me out on that so called date, mister Harrison?" I laugh and put on my best fake thinking face. I know that I want to take her tonight but I don't want her to know, she'd overthink it too much and I just want her to be herself. "Perhaps we could go on Friday for a movie date?"
Ella nods but at the same time she puts out her bottom lip, pouting at me. "What's wrong, miss Kent?" I press a gentle kiss on her pout. "Does that mean that I will need to stay away from you the whole week?"
"Of course not, we can hang out after school or even during school." I caress her cheek and put a loose strand of hair behind her ear, leaning closer. "I heard that school has some pretty amazing empty classrooms during break." Ella laughs and slaps my arm. She makes her way towards the door and I follow suit, meeting everyone else in the backyard. Today was a good sunny day and we get to enjoy eating outside which doesn't happen very often.
"Finally! Where were you kids?" Dad asks raising his hands in the air in a playful gesture. "I'm sorry, sir, I ended up falling asleep and Josh only woke me up when Samuel came to call us."
"Oh dear, please don't call me sir, you can call me Bob." My dad smiles at her and she nods her head although she blushes slightly. "Or you can just call him father-in-law." Samuel lets out and they all starting laughing while Ella blushes even more and I just stare at them with my mouth open. That is of course, until I come up with a brilliant come back. You're welcome by the way, dumbass. Thank you, Jackie, you bright son of a bitch. Whoa there, champ!
"Sure, Sam, I believe that if Ella should call dad that, then so should Caroline, right?" I lift an eyebrow innocently which grants me an evil stare from my brother, a confused look from my father, a giggle from Ella and a very embarrassed Caroline. The different reactions around the table are absolutely hilarious.
"But son, that makes no sense!" My dad says, still trying to make sense out of what I said. "If you are dating Ella, and Ella is Caroline's sister, that doesn't make her my daughter-in-law."
"Oh no no, dad, not what I meant." I take a sip from my juice to make a dramatic pause as my father grows more confused. "I meant that Sam has been crushing hard on Carol for the past like 8 years and he just doesn't have the balls to admit it."
"Oh.. I had no idea." My dad rubs his chin and Ella places her hand on my thigh gently while looking at him. "Don't worry Bob, it's completely mutual but she has no courage as well."
"Did you kids seriously just team up against us and managed to completely change the subject?" Sam shakes his head in disapproval but I can tell that he's not mad, specially because Ella said it was mutual, which is something I don't think that he knew.
"Well, I'm going to spare everyone the awkwardness of this specific subject and change it myself." My dad raises his hands in a sign of peace and everyone resumes eating. "What are you kids planning to do after school is over?"
"I would like to go to the United States and take college there. It has been a dream of mine since I was a kid and I would love to make it reality." Ella says excitedly. We spoke about this last night in the tree house, the United States have several colleges with great journalism programs which Ella is interested in. She has done a lot of research about it, worked every summer to save money and she has the grades that she needs to be able to get a scholarship without any issues. She told me that she was secretly hoping for this ever since we met because she thought it was the only way that we could eventually meet again, however, in a twist of fate I did really end up in England again. "What about you, Josh?" Caroline questions, speaking up for the first time since we sat down.
"I plan on staying in England and study music here. It's always been a passion of mine and hopefully I can finally pursue it." Caroline nods and doesn't say anything else as she didn't want to be the one to make the inevitable question. However, Samuel does. "So what are you planning on doing? I mean, you guys just like got together I guess and school is almost over and you seem to have very different plans."
"We have discussed it actually." I answer before Ella is able to but she nods in agreement. "I was hoping Josh would change his mind and come with me, since it's a country that he already knows but I completely understand and respect him if he ends up not doing so."
"We've made it the last 6 years and nothing changed our feelings for each other, even without talking. I don't think that a couple of years in college will change it and we can visit each other." I finish the thought process Ella was explaining and my dad nods, pleased with the answer. "You know, it's very important for you to support each other's dreams and not hold each other back. If it's meant to be it will be and if you do anything that might hold you back, you might end up resenting each other in the long run and that can really ruin a relationship."
"I hope you don't mind me asking Bob, but ever since your wife, did you have anyone else?" Caroline asks timidly, not wanting to cross any lines. I tense up at the mention of my mother and Ella notices and places a discreet gentle kiss to my cheek to show me her support. I can't begin to express how lucky I am to have her by my side, whether it works or not. "No, I didn't have anyone else after my wife. It's not that I'm not open to it, it's just that I guess the right person never showed."
"I really had to do a lot of work on myself and my addictions, it was tough to come back from how deep I was into that stuff. But nothing compares to the pain of being able to recover and find out that the person you recovered for is in love with someone else." My dad's voice cracks and I can tell that in his head all the memories were replaying. "I could've easily fallen back to my old ways, but it wasn't just for her that I got better. I did it to recover my relationship with my oldest son who I even thought was beyond salvation and to set the right example to my youngest." He looks at both me and my brother with affection in his eyes and Sam rubs his back gently. "I couldn't let myself lose that again or I wouldn't make it."
"It took me a while to forgive my father, but I couldn't not do it. He had a problem and he worked hard to fight it and his instincts." Samuel said while taking bites off his steak. "The worst part was seeing Josh go down the same road but I'm glad that he realized what he was doing before it was too late and he made it out."
I nod and force myself to not look back on what I did in the past. I know last night I made a mistake by smoking weed but it was only two drags and I don't need it, not anymore. There's no point in bringing that up and making them second guess my progress. Ella knows and that's all that matters. I don't want to hide anything from her.
"You guys are a great family, I'm really happy to see how close you are." Caroline says with a smile and Ella smiles as well and nods her head in agreement. "You girls are as much part of this family as we are. You have been friends with Sam since he first moved to this city and had no one else and you took us in without thinking twice when we came back. I appreciate that a lot."
We continue to chat about lighter subjects during the rest of the lunch and in the end, we all help clean up everything. We all joke around while doing so because none of us takes anything seriously and it felt good to actually spend quality time all together.
After lunch, Samuel and Caroline decide to go for a walk, which I'm assuming was to talk about the first subject during lunch. I truly hope that they get together because if it was this hard to say no to Ella after spending 6 years apart, I can imagine them after hanging with each other every single day and hiding feelings. Ella ends up saying her goodbyes and kissing me briefly as I walked her to the door. She needed to go home and deliver her last scholarship applications before the deadline. I have no doubt that she will get in to all the best colleges and have a bright future in front of her. I hope that she lets me be a part of it as I want nothing more.
I come back to the living room where my father is sitting down watching TV. I stand in the doorway looking at him and thinking about what he said at lunch. He catches me and puts down the remote. "What's up, son? What's on your mind?"
"Do you think she was the one?" He looks a bit confused and taken back by my question. "I mean, mom. Do you think she was the one and that's why you haven't found anyone else?"
"Sit down, son." I do as he told me and sit down on the couch next to him. "I haven't found someone but I'm not really looking. I have everything I need here with you boys and I have a stable job which is what I need most right now." I nod and wait for him to continue. "As for your question, I know your mom was the one. But she's also the only one I have ever known. Perhaps, one day in the future, if you ask me again I will have a different answer."
"I just don't think that the one would ever do to you what she did. She might've been your biggest love so far but I don't think she was the one or even the one you were meant to be with."
"Josh, the choices I made will always haunt me but they are not your mom's fault. She tried, really hard, for me to get better and she gave me more chances than the one's I probably deserved. I'm not coming up with excuses or saying that what she did was okay because it wasn't. But if I had gotten better soon, she wouldn't have to look for comfort or support in someone else." I shake my head, my dad shouldn't be blaming himself for anything. "What I'm saying is that although my choice was never affected by her, hers was affected by me unconsciously. I know your mom loved me a lot and I'm extremely certain that she loves you boys tremendously and it's probably being very hard on her that you don't speak to her."
I prepare to get up because my dad knows that I refuse to talk about this subject. I will talk about it when I feel stable and ready enough to do so, but I'm not there yet, it's still too fresh in my head for me to just be able to forgive her and have a relationship with her. My dad stops me from getting up and rests his hand on my back. "But tell me, why did you ask me that question in the first place? I know you don't enjoy talking about her. Is it related to Ella?"
"Well... yes. I made mistakes in the past, you know about all of them, but I promised her 6 years ago that I would come back and I didn't. I'm the reason why we didn't have these 6 years and now our time is short and our days together are counted."
"Josh, you're here, how does that qualify as breaking your promise?" I shrug, he does have a point but I'm here now, not when I was supposed to be in the first place. "Listen, everyone makes mistakes but you cannot let yourself be haunted by them. From what I've seen today, she has forgiven you, if there was ever something to forgive. Concerning your time being limited, it's no one's fault and you don't know what's going to happen. You can either both focus on making things work or drop it and let the last 6 years win."
I take some time to process his words. It has been a long time since my dad and I had a heart to heart like this. Speaking to him has always brought me clarity, it's a shame that it couldn't always be like this. We talk a bit more about my future plans and what I want to do and then I look at the time and excuse myself.
"Josh." My dad calls me when I'm almost out the door, making me turn back. "It felt great to have you open up to me, thank you for that. I'm always here for you, you know that."
I nod and thank him before making my way upstairs. It's almost 6PM and I need to start getting ready if I'm going to go through with the idea of a date tonight. I jump in the shower and let the hot water wash away any of my fears or insecurities about my new found relationship. It's not a relationship yet, you actually need to ask her out, idiot. Thank you for your constant support, asshole. You're welcome, jerk.
I get out of the shower and wrap a towel around my waist, stepping out of the bathroom to pick the clothes for tonight. I browse through my closet and for the first time in my life I'm actually putting thought into what I should wear. My thoughts are interrupted by my phone ringing, I walk to my bed and pick it up, a smile appearing on my face as soon as I see her name on my screen.
"Hello miss Kent, was just thinking about you actually. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Ella laughs on the other side and calls me silly. "Well, I just finished delivering everything I had to deliver and I'm extremely exhausted." She lets out a yawn and my heart breaks a little bit when I realize that the date tonight would probably be a bad idea if she's this tired.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.." I try not to let my voice give away that I'm slightly disappointed because I don't want her to feel bad when she didn't know about it in the first place. "What will you be doing tonight? Hanging out with your brother?"
"I don't want to keep anything from you so my actual plan was to stop by to pick you up and take you on a date." I let her know and rub the back of my neck hoping that I didn't just ruin everything. "Oh my god Josh, but you said we'd go on Friday! I'm not ready, I need to shower, I need to get dressed!"
Ella starts rambling on the phone and I can't help but laugh at how excited she could be even being that tired. "Listen Ellie, we don't have to go tonight. You're tired, I don't want to make it worse and we have school tomorrow."
"But but Josh, now I want to go, I can do it, I swear." I can almost see her pout just by listening to her voice. "We will go tomorrow, don't worry about it. I completely understand."
We stay on the phone for a while longer until her sister calls her to have dinner. She says her goodbyes and I pause for a second contemplating what I'm going to do, until I remember that I should probably call Harry as I didn't talk to him since the party. I dial his number and wait for him to pick up. As soon as he does, I can hear him telling Michael to shut up as he's trying to talk to me.
"Hey mate!" Harry says excitedly, I'm really glad that I met a friend like him. "What are you up to? Haven't said anything since you left the party."
"I'm fine, me and Ella ended up going for a walk and then this morning my dad had prepared a family barbecue." A gasp can be heard on the other side and suddenly I hear Michael's voice. "Listen you little bitch, I'm highly offended that I was not invited to that barbecue! I don't need to hang out with you 24/7 but I do love food a lot."
We all laugh at how offended Michael was pretending to be and the boys end up asking me to join them at Harry's house. I accept since I don't have anything better to do anyway. They said they were having some sort of jam session and I decide to bring my guitar along with me.
I go downstairs and my dad raises an eyebrow at me. "Where are you going with your precious guitar? I know you said you had a date but I never thought you would actually serenade her."
"Funny, dad. Ella actually called me and she was too tired to go anywhere after submitting all those applications today. In the meantime, I called Harry and he invited me to come over as they're having a small gathering at his house. Is that okay?"
"Sure, son, don't worry. Go have fun with your friends, just don't be home too late because it's a school night and you are a nightmare to get out of bed." We both laugh and I say goodbye before heading out the door.
The whole way to Harry's house, I cannot help but think that although I'm lucky to have friends like Harry and Michael, I would much rather be on my date with Ella.
You're in so deep, I just hope you know how to swim, buddy.
Author's note:
Someone needed a cold shower in the beginning there.
The story between these two is just about to start, it is a lot of fun to write and I hope it's just as fun for you to read.
Where do you think their new found relationship should go?
Do you think it's worth it?