23 – Expect
It was the day before my birthday and everyone was busy preparing for the party tomorrow. Imbis na tumulong ay hinahalughog ko na ang buong kuwarto ko upang mahanap kung nasaan man ang cellphone ko. I am getting more frustrated because I can't seem to find it anywhere. Sa bag ko lang naman iyon inilagay. I have to call Calum.
"My phone is still missing. Hindi niyo pa rin ba nakikita?"
"Hindi pa po, e."
Bumuntong-hininga ako at nilampasan ang iilang mga kasambahay na inutusan kong hanapin iyon. I went to another room and started checking every corners of it. Kahit na hindi naman ako pumasok dito ay baka narito. Ysmael followed me and stayed at the door.
"How about I buy a new phone, señorita? So that you can contact whoever it is."
"Hindi ko kabisado ang numero niya."
"You can make a Facebook account and send a message. Does he have one?" he asked.
Natigilan ako sa paghahanap. If I make an account named Yoona, then that would make my friend even more frustrated of me. Bumuntong-hininga ako at lumabas upang tumungo sa hallway.
"Huwag na lang, Ysmael. I'll just use the telephone."
I borrowed his phone and searched PDL Motors online using my an Ipad. Nang mahanap ang numero nila ay aga ko iyong tinawagan. Malamang ay na sa kompaniya na iyon kanina pa. Nang sumagot ang isang babae ay hindi ko na siya pinatapos.
"Hi. Can I speak to Calum Ponce de Leon?"
"May I know your name, ma'am?"
I bit my lower lip and glanced at Ysmael who's standing not that far from me. Umiwas ako ng tingin at hindi masabi ang totoong pangalan. I don't want to lie in front of people. I don't want to lie anymore.
"Tell him it's someone important."
"I have to know your name, ma'am. And Sir Calum is in a meeting right now."
I shut my eyes and nodded. "Alright. Thanks."
Agad ko nang pinatay ang tawag dahil hindi ko rin naman siya makakausap. When can I talk to him? When I come back? Hindi ba iyon magagalit na kahit isang beses ay hindi ako tumawag? I sat down the wooden chair beside the circular table where the telephone was. Umangat ang tingin ko kay Ysmael na nakatitig lamang sa akin.
"Why are you looking at me like that, Ysmael?"
"I am just waiting for an order if you want me to go to Manila to inform him about you."
Umiling ako. "No need. I am going back after my birthday."
I faked a smile and closed my eyes before resting my back on the chair. Mukhang pag-uwi ko pa nga kami makakapag-usap. Sayang at gusto pa naman niyang tumawag ako sa kaniya ngunit hindi ko naman magawa.
"Mukhang may problema ka."
Dumilat ako at tinignan muli si Ysmael. I chuckled and stood up. Malaki ang problema ko at hindi lamang iyon isa. But right now, all I think about is Calum and I. Ano bang mangyayari sa aming dalawa matapos kong aminin ang lahat?
"We're going to sort this out, right?" tanong ko.
Ysmael nodded to encourage me. Bumuntong-hininga ako at tumango rin upang palakasin ang loob ko. Iniisip ko pa lamang ang magiging reaksiyon niya ay nagwawala na ang dibdib ko.
"We're going to be okay. He might get shocked but we will be okay.." I assured myself. "We will be okay."
"If he loves you, he will understand."
"If I love him, then I should've trusted him."
Malungkot akong ngumiti. Ysmael held my chin and lifted it. Nanatili ang kaniyang mga mata sa akin habang pinakikinggan ang mga sinasabi ko.
"He gave me every reason to trust him, Ysmael. I trust myself to him but I can't seem to tell the truth. I couldn't even talk to him about what I feel for him."
He looked around to see if there is anyone who can see us before opening his arms. I immediately hugged him and closed my eyes. Niyakap niya ako at marahang hinimas ang aking likod.
"You'd be ready once you get back." he said.
I nodded. Ysmael is the brother I never had. Nang bumitiw ako ay marahan niyang tinapik ang magkabilang pisngi ko upang lalong palakasin ang loob ko. Tumango ulit ako at ngumiti.
"Ysmael."
Agad akong napalingon sa baritonong boses na iyon. Tito Gordon looked cold and serious as he stare at us. Bahagyang yumuko si Ysmael bago naglakad palayo. I faced tito as he walked towards me.
"Why does he have to leave?" I asked.
Hindi siya sumagot at mariin lamang akong tinignan. Mula sa kaniyang bulsa ay inilabas niya ang cellphone ko at pinaglaruan sa kaniyang mga daliri.
"Where did you find that?"
"I intentionally took it so you wouldn't be distracted while you're here." he smiled without humor.
"I won't be distracted so give it back."
Akmang kukunin ko na iyon ngunit agad niyang iniiwas. I gritted my teeth and tried to compose myself. I am not even surprised that he has it.
"The way you shamed your family in front of the Almazans.." pagak siyang natawa. "Do you think I'll give this to you?"
"I said what is true–"
"You disappointed your father with what you did!"
His voice echoed inside the mansion. Malakas man ang kabog ng dibdib ko dahil sa kaba ay hindi ako nagpadaig sa takot ko. Kailangan kong manindigan para sa gusto ko.
"I won't marry that Almazan. Kahit anong gawin ninyo, hindi ako magpapakasal." mariin kong sabi.
"Ysabella–"
"Sige at magmamatigasan tayo rito. Alam na alam ninyong hindi ako magpapatalo. You know how competitive I am, right? You basically raised me."
He clenched his jaw as I darkly stare at him. Hindi nawala ang tapang sa boses ko kahit na nagwawala ang puso ko. I might break Calum's heart because of my identity, but I won't break his heart with the news that I am married when I come back.
"I won't marry and that's final."
Hinayaan ko na ang cellphone na hawak niya at tinalikuran siya. I walked towards my room and locked the door. Kung ang ama ko ay hindi ako mapipilit, lalo na siya. I am not a young girl anymore. I am not scared of him.
Kahapon ay napag-usapan na ang pagdating ng dalawang kapatid ni dad. Aunt Marie and Tito Carlito, together with his family is coming here for lunch. I doubt that they're coming here for that. Kaya naman inihanda ko na ang sarili ko matapos makipag-usap kay Tito Gordon.
"Señorita? They are here."
I nodded and dismissed the maid. Tuluyan akong lumabas sa kuwarto habang si Ysmael ay nakasunod sa akin. Mula sa second floor ng mansiyon ay rinig ko na ang tawanan nila.
"How are you, kuya?" Aunt Marie asked. "Oh my gosh, you look like you're dying!"
"I am dying, Marie."
Narinig ko ang isa pang tawa mula sa isang lalaki. I suppose that's Tito Carlito. Tuluyan akong bumaba ng hagdan upang harapin ang mga kamag-anak. What a good news that I am here.
"We know. So if you need someone to take care of everything, I am here."
"Shut up, Carlito!" Aunt Marie yelled. "You know I am the one to trust, kuya."
"What are you saying, Marie? Carlito handles business so well! Kahit ang mga palugi na ay naiaahon niya pa!" pagtatanggol ng asawa.
I chuckled and walked towards the foyer. Lalong lumakas ang pag-uusap nila dahil sa paglapit ko. I heard a tiny voice before the maids bow their head to greet me.
"I have always expressed my love for this plantation, tito. Kung mawawala ka, sino na lang ang mag-aalaga?"
"Tinatanong pa ba iyan, Vanessa?"
Ang lahat ay napabaling sa gawi ko. A smile was plastered on my face. Napawi ang ngiti ng pinsan kong si Vanessa nang makita ako. Aunt Marie's jaw dropped while holding his Prada bag, wearing diamonds around her neck. Walang nasabi ang kapatid na lalaki ni dad kung hindi ang pangalan ko lamang.
"Y-ysabella?"
"She came back, kuya?!"
I chuckled and nodded. Masayang tumango rin ang ama ko upang kumpirmahin iyon. I flipped my hair and stared at their faces one by one. Mukha pa rin silang matapobre, manloloko, at mapagmataas.
"It is so unfortunate to see your faces again.." I sighed. "But I guess I have no choice?"
"Bastos talaga ang bunganga ng anak mo, Kuya Hernando!"
I grinned at Aunt Marie. "Just say you can't handle it and leave."
Tumawa ako at naunang maglakad papasok ng salas. I heard murmurs on behind my back as they enter the mansion. Marie was eyeing some of the maid who try to assist her.
"Why don't you go to the kitchen and cook us some food?" Tito Carlito laughed. "Women belong in the kitchen, anyway."
"Yeah. Because that's where the knives are." I answered.
Ngumiwi ang kaniyang asawa't anak at bumaling sa kaniya. Even Marie looked darkly at him. Napawi ang kaniyang tawa at tawa ko naman ang pumalit.
"Paano iyan, Carlito? Nabastos yata ang asawa, anak, at kapatid mong babae."
I rolled my eyes at him. Tuluyan silang naupo ngunit nanatili akong na sa tabi ni daddy. I held his shoulder to say that I got this. He used to always worry when I quarrel with relatives.
"But, tito. If you need someone to take good care of the plantation, I'm here!" singit agad ni Vanessa.
"Pamangkin ka lang. Anak ako. Saan ka humuhugot ng kapal ng mukha?"
Her eyes widened. "Excuse me, Ysabella!"
"Bakit? Dadaan ka?"
I raised my brows at her. Wala siyang naisagot at kumapit lamang sa braso ng kaniyang ama. She looked away to hide her face. Mahina akong natawa at tinapik ang balikat ng aking ama.
"Don't talk to my daughter like that!"
I faced Carlito. "You don't dictate me, ignorant misogynist. This is my mansion and you do not have even a bit of a right to step foot here. Try me and I will throw you out."
Natahimik siya at inamo na lamang ang kaniyang anak. Everyone glanced at the man who just came. Tito Gordon stood beside me to face everyone else. Tumayo ako nang tuwid at peke silang nginitian.
"Ysabella is signing the documents later. I hope you are still here to witness that."
"Of course they are here to witness that. And I will watch their mouth drool for my wealth that will never be theirs."
Parang nasamid ang asawa ni Carlito sa sinabi ko. Ang mukha ni Vanessa ay parang nag-aalalang walang makukuhang mana mula sa aking ama. Aunt Marie stood up because of anger. Ngumuso ako at tinignan ang aking kuko. I should have extravagant fingernails later while I sign the documents. Hindi ba't mas maaasar sila kung ganoon?
"Kuya! Wala ka man lang bang gagawin upang disiplinahin ang anak mo?!"
"Wala ka na bang ibang gagawin kung hindi ang maging bungangera? Nakakahiya sa mga kasambahay naming mas may manners pa kaysa sa'yo.." nandidiri ko siyang tinignan. "It's true. Money can't buy class."
I grinned and turned my back to walk away. Habang paakyat ay rinig ko pa rin ang mga reklamo ng mga taong iyon sa mana at sa ugali ko. I chuckled and shook my head. I am not usually like this. Ngunit kung mga mahal ko na ang pinag-uusapan, talagang mapapaaway ako.
Ysmael followed me to the terrace. Napagdesisyunan kong doon na tumungo upang pagaanin ang loob ko. I sat down the metal chair and closed my eyes. Hinilot ko ang sentido ko sa inis sa mga kamag-anak. Sana naman ay kumalma ako dahil sa simoy ng hangin.
"Gordon got your phone?"
"Not surprising, though."
Nanatili siya sa pagkakatayo sa aking tabi kahit na sumenyas akong dapat siyang umupo. He was looking down the huge front yard of the mansion.
"Everyone is busy preparing for your party tomorrow." aniya.
"After the party, I am going back to Manila. Mamaya ay pipirmahan ko na rin ang mga dokumentong kailangan para sa mga pag-aari ni daddy."
"You changed your mind."
I stood up and looked down, too. Naghahanda nga ang lahat para sa kaarawan ko bukas. I deeply inhaled as I try to prepare myself. Sinuyod ng mga mata ko ang lawak ng plantasyong tuluyang mailalagay sa pangalan ko. Hindi lang ito, pati na rin ang mansiyon at ang iba pa.
"I'm his only child. Hindi ko kayang hayaang mapunta ang mga pinaghirapan niya sa mga taong hindi karapat-dapat."
He nodded. "I'm glad. Will your relatives be here?"
"They are still at the salas, convincing dad for some property. Hindi naman na magbabago ang isip niya."
Nilingon ko ang kabilang bahagi ng plantasyon nang bahagyang manlabo ang paningin ko. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa makapal na sementong harang. Nakakalula ang lawak ng plantasyon. Hindi ko pa nga yata nasusuyod ang bawat sulok nito.
"Are you okay?"
I chuckled and nodded. "Being here makes me stressed. I don't even want to celebrate my birthday."
"Isipin mo na lamang ay huling beses mo nang makikita ang ama mo sa kaarawan mo. Palalampasin mo ba iyon?"
Nawala ang ngiti sa aking labi at bumaling sa kaniya. He smiled meaningfully at me. Parang unti-unting nababasag ang puso ko sa tuwing sasagi sa isip ko ang tunay na sitwasyon ng ama ko.
"Don't talk like that, Ysmael." saway ko.
"We have to face the truth, Ysabella. You know he's dying."
Yumuko ako at pinagmasdan ang mga kasambahay na abala sa pag-aayos para bukas. A lot of the gardeners were harvesting flowers for tomorrow night. I even spotted Agatha arranging the arch made of flowers.
"I like to think that he's healthy. Ayokong isiping mawawala na siya dahil lalo ko lamang akong makokonsensiya sa lahat ng nagawa ko."
"Just show up on your birthday and it will be everything to him." he said.
I showed a small smile. Huminga ako nang malalim at pilit na inihanda ang sarili ko. Taas-noo ko siyang hinarap at tumango upang sumang-ayon sa kaniya. He's right. I shouldn't be distracted.
"I'll sign the documents after lunch. You have to be there."
"Yes, señorita."
Tinalikuran ko siya at bumalik na sa kuwarto ko upang paghandaan ang pananghalian. I looked at myself with pearls around my neck in front of a huge mirror. Noon ay lagi akong natutuwa sa tuwing napalilibutan ng mamahaling alahas, ngayon ay wala na akong maramdaman. Pakiramdam ko lamang ay nasasakal ako.
"Konting tiis na lang.." I whispered to myself.
Pagtapos ng kaarawan ko bukas ay uuwi na agad ako sa bahay namin upang kausapin si Calum. Kahit hindi pumayag sina tito o daddy na umuwi ako, uuwi ako. I'll just come back after we talk. I'll come back after we sort things out. Hindi ko na kayang magsinungaling. Kahit ano pang maging resulta, sasabihin ko na ang totoo.
"Ang sarap ng mga pagkain. I applaud the chefs, kuya!"
My father smiled. "I'll tell them that, Marie."
I pressed my lips together as I continued eating, not minding everyone. I was sitting at the head while my dad was on my right, and Tito Gordon was on my left. Aunt Marie was sitting beside my dad while Tito Carlito and his family were beside tito. Nang dumating ako sa hapag ay naging tahimik ang lahat. I see Aunt Marie trying to change the atmosphere I created when I walked in.
"Si Ysabella ba, marunong nang magluto? Hindi ba't ikakasal na iyan?" she asked.
Umiling si daddy. "She doesn't cook here."
"Why?"
"I just don't like to cook."
Ni hindi ko siya tinignan nang sumagot ako. Natigilan ako sa pagkain nang tumawa siya na para bang nakakatawa ang rason ko. Tinapunan ko siya ng tingin. She wiped the side of her lips and spoke at me.
"What kind of reason is that? Paano mo pagsisilbihan ang magiging asawa mo?"
I smiled at her. "Hindi ako mag-aasawa ng inutil. Huwag kayong mag-alala at hindi ko uulitin ang pagkakamali ninyo."
"That's a good thing to hear, Ysabella. I raised you right." Tito Gordon praised.
Agad na nagbago ang aura ng tiya ko. I slightly bowed my head to tito, acknowledging him. Ganoon din ang ginawa niya dahil natuwa sa aking isinagot.
"Ang balita nga namin ay lumayas ka rito sa mansiyon para tumira sa isang maliit na bahay sa Maynila. Anong pumasok sa isip mo?" tumawa ulit siya at bumaling kay daddy. "Nababaliw na yata ang anak mo, kuya!"
"Mas mabuti pa rin naman ang kalagayan ko ro'n kaysa sa mga anak mong pariwara. Naiinggit ka ba?"
I copied her laugh to piss her off even more. Tumango si Tito Gordon at bumaling kay Aunt Marie na para bang kyuryoso rin sa lagay ng iba niyang pamangkin. Ngumuso ako at inisip ang mga pangalan nila.
"How's my cousin, Geoff? Is he graduating from rehab?" I sweetly asked. "Oh. How about Macey? She married a drug abuser, right?"
Pumormang o ang labi ko nang may mapagtanto. I wiped the side of my lips just like what she did. Si Tito Carlito ay hindi na malaman kung ano ang dapat gawin o sabihin. My father stayed silent.
"That's the same problem for your kids! It runs in the blood, eh?" pang-aasar ko.
"Shut your mouth–"
"Make me." I challenged.
Umigting ang kaniyang panga ngunit walang nagawa kung hindi ang umiwas ng tingin at uminom ng tubig. She tried to collect herself before looking at me again. Agad kong sinalubong ang tingin niya.
"Masyadong marumi ang bibig mo. Bakit hindi ka gumaya rito sa pinsan mong si Vanessa? She knows how to cook. Masipag! She would make a good wife!"
"A woman's purpose is not just to be a wife and take care of a grown man." sagot ko.
"A woman should be at least feminine." Tito Carlito commented.
I glanced at him. "A woman should be whatever she wants to be."
Lumipat ang mga mata ko kay Vanessa na mukhang hindi kumportable sa usapan. Umiwas siya ng tingin at pilit na itinago sa akin ang kaniyang mukha. Kawawa siya at ganito mag-isip ang kaniyang ama.
"If she wants to be single or to be married, if she wants to have kids or not, if she wants to hide her skin or to be bare, if she wants to be masculine and break the stereotype of being a woman, then she's free to do so.."
Walang nakasagot sa aking sinabi. Aunt Marie is forcing herself to hold her head high but she's miserably failing. Malamang ay gusto na niyang magpalamon sa lupa dahil sa kahihiyan. Pati si Carlito ay hindi nakasagot. Ysmael was standing across the dining hall, looking proudly at me.
"A woman should not be caged in your standards and expectations. Your opinion on how we should live our lives isn't needed."
I finished up and deeply breathed. Taas-noo kong itinulak ang aking plato at agad iyong iniligpit ng kasambahay. I smiled at my father before asking for the papers.
"The documents, tito?"
He formally stood up to get it by himself. Inilapag niya sa harap ko ang lampas sa sampung mga papel. Isa-isa ko iyong pinirmahan at hindi na binasa pa. Everything he has will be on my name now. Habang pumipirma ay kitang-kita sa kanilang mga mukha ang inggit at galit. Nang matapos ay masayang-masaya ang ama ko. I stood up and gave it to tito. Tinginan ko silang lahat habang mayroong ngiti sa aking labi.
"This woman has everything you ever wished for. Kaya wala kayo sa posisyong mangialam."
I walked out the dining hall with my head held high. Tito Gordon cleared his throat and stood up to leave too. Nang makapasok sa kuwarto ay malalim akong huminga upang ikalma ang pagwawala ng puso ko. I immediately removed the pearl necklace on my neck and took off my clothes. I calmed myself under the shower. Mabuti at nakatulong ang malamig na tubig upang mawala ang init na nararamdaman ko.
I stayed inside my room for almost three hours before going out again. Muli akong nanatili sa terrace upang pagmasdan ang malawak na plantasyong ngayong ay na sa aking pangalan na. Talagang nalulula ako sa tuwing tinitignan ko ito.
"Ang init ng ulo mo kanina."
I turned to Ysmael when I heard his voice. He was standing near the glass door, on his usual black slacks, black coat, with a button down shirt underneath. Ngumiti ako at sumenyas na lumapit siya.
"We're close friends whenever Tito Gordon isn't around. Why are you standing so far from me?"
Bahagya siyang yumuko at lumapit sa akin. Sinundan niya ng tingin ang plantasyon gaya ng ginagawa ko. I am responsible for this now. It's making me nervous.
"You have all the right to the properties now. Do you have plans? Anong gagawin mo sa mga ito?"
"I honestly don't know. Sa ngayon ay wala pa. I told you I want to go back to Manila first. Iyon muna ang aayusin ko."
Bumaba ang tingin ko sa mga katulong na hanggang ngayon ay nag-aayos pa rin sa front yard ng mansiyon. I frowned when I saw an old man in a wheel chair outside. Agad akong nag-alala.
"Bakit na sa labas si dad?"
Nagmamadali akong bumaba at ganoon din si Ysmael. Ang mga nadadaanan kong kasambahay ay yumuyuko upang gumalang. My father was even talking to some of the gardeners. Hapon na kaya naman hindi na gaanong sikat ang araw ngunit mas mabuting sa loob na lamang siya ng bahay.
"Dad! Why are you here?"
"I'm okay, Ysabella. Gusto ko lang silipin ang mga ginagawa nila."
I sighed. "You should reserve your strength for tomorrow, dad. Marami kayong mga kaibigang dadalo."
"Really, I am okay! I am strong today. At narito naman ang mga doktor ko."
Itinuro niya ang doktor sa hindi kalayuan. She nodded at me to assure me that it's fine. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag ngunit hindi maialis ang kaba sa dibdib ko. Malawak ang ngiti ng aking ama habang pinagmamasdan ang mga pinal na disenyo para bukas.
"I am very excited, Ysabella. You're turning twenty-six. You are a grown woman!"
I forced a smile and nodded. Parang unti-unting nanikip ang dibdib ko dahil sa pag-aalala sa aking ama. Sinubukan kong huminga nang malalim ngunit hindi nakatulong.
"I want everything to be perfect! This is my daughter's birthday so make it beautiful and neat!" my father said. "Don't put flowers there!"
I gulped hard and held my chest. I bit my lower lip when I felt cold. Napahawak ako sa lamesa kasabay ng unti-unting paglabo ng paningin ko. Nang dumaan ang isang katulong ay agad kong kinuha ang kaniyang atensiyon.
"Get me a glass of water, please.." kinakapos ang hininga kong sabi. "Thanks."
Tumango siya at agad sumunod sa akin. Humigpit lalo ang hawak ko sa lamesa upang suportahan ang sarili ko. Halos umikot ang paningin ko, habang ang mabilis na kabog ng dibdib ko ay nanatili. I feel like I'm still nervous.
"Ysabella? You're pale."
I raised my hand. "I'm o-okay.. I'm okay, dad."
I shut my eyes and tried to help myself but I couldn't. Tuluyang bumagsak ang katawan ko ngunit naramdaman ko ang pagsalo ni Ysmael. My hands were feeling so cold.
"Señorita!"
Kinakapos ang hininga ko ngunit wala akong magawa sa sobrang panghihina. I couldn't see anything but bright light. My vision was too blurry to see anything.
"Call the doctors! Now!"
Someone held my hand. Tuluyan akong nawalan ng malay sa hindi ko malamang kadahilanan. My head was hurting and my heart was beating so fast. Masyadong malamig sa pakiramdam. It was so hard to breathe. I didn't know what to do.
I woke up in a white room. Sa tabi ng kama ko ay isang lamesa na walang laman. Ysmael was standing near the door. Mukha siyang nag-aalala kaya naman bahagya akong ngumiti upang mabawasan iyon.
"What time is it?" I whispered.
"Three am."
I nodded. Hinawakan ko ang ulo kong sumasakit kanina at sinubukang bumangon ngunit mukhang kailangan ng katawan ko ng kaonti pang pahinga.
"You fainted. Dinala ka namin dito sa ospital dahil iyon ang advise ng doktor."
"I was tired and stressed. Sana ay nagpahinga na lang ako sa bahay."
I remember what happen. Bumaba ang tingin ko sa kabila kong kamay at nakitang mayroon akong dextrose. I frowned and looked at Ysmael again. Is this needed?
"Why do I have an IV?" I asked.
He just smiled and fixed my blanket. Inayos niya rin ang unan ko na para bang iniiwasan ang aking tanong. Naguluhan ako sa kaniyang ikinikilos. Ysmael answers straight.
"Your friend is here. I called him." he informed me.
"Who?"
"Dane. He's your emergency contact. Ibinigay sa akin ni Gordon ang cellphone mo."
"Bakit tinawagan mo pa? I just fainted."
Tumungo siya sa pinto at sandaling may kinausap bago papasukin. Dane was sweating because of nervousness when he saw me. Ysmael left the room to let us talk.
"Thank God you're okay!"
Ngumiwi ako nang yakapin niya ako. His hands were cold, too. I became even more confused because of his actions. He looks at me like I'm sick. Si daddy ang may sakit, hindi ako.
"Eww. Hindi bagay sa'yo. You're not like that to me."
"What do you mean? I care about you.. I even helped you with everything!"
I jokingly rolled my eyes. "I want to go home. You should come, too. I'm celebrating my birthday tonight."
Bahagya niyang iniusog ang kumot ko at umupo sa aking tabi. Pinagmasdan niya ang kamay kong may I.V. Kung tumingin siya ay para siyang kinakabahan at naaawa sa akin. He really looks worried. Ano bang mayroon?
"When am I going to get discharged? I am okay. I feel fine. Sa bahay na lang ako magpapahinga."
Gaya ni Ysmael ay hindi rin siya sumagot. He pressed his lips together and used his palm to cover it. Umusbong ang kaba sa dibdib ko.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Your butler called me. I flew immediately when I heard the news."
"Hinimatay lang naman ako. You didn't have to come."
He slightly nodded and sniffed. His eyes suddenly became wet and teary. Lalong kumunot ang noo ko at sinubukang bumangon. He shook his head and wiped his eyes. Sinubukan niya akong ihiga muli.
"What, Dane? You're being weird."
"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked.
"Of course, I am okay. Wala naman akong sakit.." sagot ko. "May sinabi ba ang doktor?"
Hindi niya ako sinagot, o tinignan man lang. He sniffed again and tried to compose himself. Para bang malaking problema ang bagay na ayaw niyang sabihin sa akin.
"Did the doctor say something? May problema ba?"
I looked at the door and saw Tito Gordon walking back and forth, massaging the back of his neck. Halata sa kaniyang kilos ang kaba at pag-aalala. Lalong nagwala ang dibdib ko sa kaba at bumaling kay Dane na tuluyan nang naiiyak.
"Say it." matapang kong sabi.
He sat down on the side of the bed again and wiped his tears. His hands were cold when he held mine. Inihanda ko ang sarili ko sa isang problema o masamang balita. Dane inhaled deeply and spoke.
My whole life I never expected myself in this kind of situation. I think women are so strong and so unique that they can adjust their bodies to accommodate a new life, but I never thought it would happen to me. I never thought I would face it. I never thought I was strong enough to be one of them. I admire them.
"You're six weeks pregnant, Eunice."