Chapter Twenty - Elizabeth
I woke, lethargic and confused, my eyes dry and sticky with sleep. I glanced down. Gym shorts and a baggy tee? No Danny? His presence was strong, but he wasn’t in my bed as usual. Then the nightmare that defined yesterday came flooding back. Hollow emptiness and tears followed. When they subsided, I couldn’t move from the security of my bed. Where would I go anyway?
There was rapid knocking on my door. Someone was at my door. Danny? Had he come to apologize? Please.
“One moment,” I called out.
An unexpected adrenaline rush pulled me out of bed and I made it across the room in three strides. Flushed, I turned the knob and swung open the door.
“Mom!” I cried, and I collapsed sobbing into her warm, welcoming arms.
Mom quickly packed my overnight case. Then she ushered me into her waiting limo, and whisked me away to the Mayflower Inn in Washington Depot, a town in Litchfield County, Connecticut.
Two days of spa treatments and motherly advice was just what I needed. While I remained heartbroken, I felt refreshed, energized and, attractive again. The force of Mom’s personality would not allow otherwise. Still depressed, I was functional again, no longer frightening either of us.
Upon returning to Donnelly, I had three hours before dinner to reflect and prepare. Mom and I strategized that I would not hide. Danny and I had too many friends in common. I would not give them up because of him. Let Danny be the uncomfortable one.
Publicly I would behave as though nothing were the matter. Dinner would find me at my usual table. If Danny didn’t like it, he could move. This was his fault anyway.
I’d even study with him as we always did on Sunday evenings if he desired. Yes, I would be the mature one, and at least give friendship a try. I’d show Danny what he was missing.
By four-thirty I was antsy. If I had had to wait more than another fifteen minutes before getting Rachel, I’d have worn a hole in the hardwood floor from pacing.
My reflection in the mirror caught my attention. Red, puffy eyes had been replaced by clear, green ones. Subtle eyeliner and mascara gave them some life, but their flatness was still obvious. I might fool a casual observer, but not Danny.
I resigned myself to my appearance being the best I could manage for today. As time passed, the sparkle would surely return. Time would heal me, Mom had said. I had to believe she was right.
I noticed a few stray hairs and went for my hairbrush. How many times had I brushed my hair already? Too many. I had lost track.
A knock at my door saved me from becoming truly obsessive.
“Rach,” I exclaimed happier than I had known I’d be to see her. I had not seen her since Thursday at lunch. Rachel gave me a comforting hug and closed the door.
“Elizabeth, I’m so sorry about you and Danny.”
I bit down on my lower lip determined to keep the tears at bay.
“Yeah,” was all I had the energy to say.
“You look great though. You’re holding up much better than I’d have thought.”
“I’m not holding up, Rach. I’m a mess. I’ve been stabbed through the heart and I’ve lost my best friend in the world. I’m a total wreck.”
For the first time since I’d known her, Rachel was at a loss for words.
“Well you look great,” she repeated.
I smiled. “Thanks. You wouldn’t have said that on Friday. I’m lucky Mom came and took me to a spa in Litchfield.”
“The Mayflower Inn?”
“You know it?” Of course! Rachel lived in Westport.
“I’ve never been there, but my parents go every year for their anniversary. They say it’s amazing.”
“It’s sweet,” I answered.
“Sweet? You are depressed. It’s the best hotel in Connecticut.”
I sighed loudly. I didn’t have the energy to emote about anything.
I sat quietly on the edge of the bed staring at Rachel, waiting for her to continue the conversation. Anything I said would make me cry, and I didn’t want to spoil my makeup or cause the red puffiness to return to my eyes this close to dinner.
“Should we sit at a different table?” Rachel asked. “Danny told me he’d understand. But I told him, and now I’m telling you, Elizabeth I’m friends with both of you. I will not take sides, so don’t ask me to. And do not, absolutely do not, put me in the middle. If you have something to say to Danny, you say it to him. I will not be your messenger or his.”
Tears threatened again, and I forced myself to glance away from Rachel. Her speech brought the reality I had avoided all weekend, crashing down on me. Nervously I twisted my fingers, afraid to face her while I formulated a response.
I answered tentatively. “I plan on sitting at my usual table, with my friends.” Then with renewed resolve I added, “If Danny doesn’t like it, he can move. I won’t drop my friends because of him.” Then I looked up at Rachel. “Why is it always expected that the girl should fade away?”
Rachel gave me a supportive smile. “I hoped you’d say that.”
“Head up, smile on,” I thought as I neared the dining table.
Danny was already seated beside Shane. My pulse quickened as my stomach sank. I took a seat beside Rachel and across from Shane, generating little reaction.
My plastic smile lasted only a minute, replaced by genuine concern when I looked at Danny.
“What happened to your face?” I asked.
His cheek had a purple bruise on it.
Danny smiled at me and laughed. His smile, filled with his usual affection, was difficult for me to consume. His eyes twinkled, too. Pain shot through my heart, and I chewed on my lip. How could Danny show love with his eyes and not want me anymore?
“You haven’t heard?” he asked.
I shook my head “no.”
“I had a run-in with Randi,” Danny sheepishly confessed.
“My mother did that?” Now I was the one laughing. Mom did not go around beating up people.
“Glad you find it funny Elizabeth. Randi got me with her diamond.”
“Poor ring!” I laughed.
“What about poor me?”
I stared directly into Danny’s sapphire eyes for impact and said, “now you know, Daniel. Don’t mess with Jacobs women.”
Shane and Rachel were silent, eyes on Danny. The ball was in his court.
Rising from the table he replied, “I deserved it, and probably worse.”
I smiled triumphantly, but it was short-lived when Danny added, “You forgot your iced tea, Eli. I’ll get it.”
I was dumbfounded. Shane and Rachel stared at Danny and back to me. “Thanks,” I mumbled.
Why would Danny do this? Did he still care or was it habit?
When Danny returned, he handed me the glass instead of placing it on the table. Staring directly at me, his gaze penetrating my entire being, Danny brushed my fingertips with his, and smiled at my resultant shiver. What was he doing? Was this a game to Danny?
Despite this, I relaxed, and even enjoyed dinner. Danny was apparently using the same playbook I was; behaving normally. Our friends followed our cues. But it was Sunday. What would happen next?
Once we cleared our dishes and exited the dining hall, Danny approached me.
“Hey, Eli,” he began tentatively, “Are we studying tonight?”
I gasped, shocked. Is this what the tabloids meant by an amicable separation? That seemed to be the only way people in Hollywood ever split if you read the headlines.
“You’re serious?” I asked.
Rachel cocked her head in our direction, evidently curious what I would decide. I couldn’t blame her. I would be too.
“Yeah. We have Dennison’s class to prep for.”
“I’ll try,” I answered truthfully.
“I’d like that. I’ll meet you in the lobby in fifteen.”
This was very odd, but if I wanted Danny to see what he was missing, it played into my strategy of being “just friends.”
“Eli, you look great,” Danny said upon greeting me. “You’re so beautiful tonight,” he added. Sadness tinged his eyes; regret perhaps?
“Thank you,” I stammered, hoping Danny didn’t detect the quiver in my voice.
Danny and I checked into our favorite study room. On the walk over he had wanted to know all about my weekend with Mom. Every detail about the Mayflower Inn was of utmost importance to him. Danny even concluded by saying, “It sounds romantic.”
“Yeah,” I laughed, “If I had been with you instead of Mom.”
Instantly I regretted my words. I did not like the new normal of filtering my words to Danny.
Danny smiled thoughtfully. “We’ll go sometime,” he said.
My stomach clenched. It took all the strength I could muster not to break down.
Had Thursday’s heart-wrenching breakup been nothing more than a short-lived nightmare? If I was no longer his girlfriend, why was Danny suggesting a romantic getaway in the future? Was this what he meant by a hiatus?
The mixed signals continued at the library with Danny sitting close to me. In the past, it had been natural, comforting even. Tonight, it was causing my heart to flip-flop.
During a break, I stood by the vending machines sipping bottled water. Danny stood opposite me, one hand holding a cup of coffee, the other pressing against the wall above me. His head tilted toward mine, ensuring eye contact, his sapphire gaze powerful. As we chatted, I thought how passersby would not dare to interrupt the happy couple.
Back in our study room, as I searched for a specific quote in the material we reviewed, Danny leaned in close, placing his hand on my shoulder. I felt his breath on my neck, and shivers went up and down my spine.
When I found the passage, as I pointed it out to Danny, I tilted my face up toward his. He smiled his easygoing smile that always melted me. Then Danny lightly brushed his lips against mine, and I gasped.
What the hell?
Danny escorted me to my door after we walked back to Berkeley Hall. Before I unlocked it, I wanted to say good-night.
“I’m tired,” I said.
“It’s been a long weekend.”
“Yeah,” I agreed smiling into his twinkling sapphire eyes.
We stood staring at each other, unsure of what to do next. I knew I should enter my room and immediately close the door behind me. This moment would be ended. Danny would have to leave. That was the best solution, but I felt rooted in place.
But Danny didn’t budge. His sapphires fixated on me like glue. Finally Danny broke what seemed like an interminable silence. “Elizabeth?”
“Daniel?” I trembled from the electric current between us.
Danny’s thumb gently tilted my chin up, his touch full of promise, and he kissed me, slow and sweet. My insides quaked, and I was short of breath.
“I’ll always love you, Elizabeth,” he said with quiet emotion.
Speechless, I entered my room and locked the door.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE - ELIZABETH
With sweat dripping down my neck, I dragged myself into the dance center locker room. Beginning at eight, I had been through ballet and then jazz; two and a half straight hours of dance. A towel around the back of my neck absorbed the sweat, and I slouched on a stool by my locker across from Kelsey. We sat quietly chugging water from liter bottles in front of our opened lockers. I stared into space thinking about Danny’s kiss. Conclusions failed to materialize.
“Elizabeth, you’re ringing.” Kelsey’s voice brought me back down.
“Huh?”
“Your phone. It’s singing.”
“Right.” Flustered, I reached for my phone. It was a text message from Danny. “Missed bkfst. Hungry. C u @11.”
I grinned at the phone like an idiot.
Kelsey raised an eyebrow. We were dance friends, not confidantes. She was not privy to my personal life. All Kelsey knew of my relationship with Danny was that he was my boyfriend.
“Early lunch date,” I told Kelsey, and I texted back “c u then”.
I pulled gym shorts over my leotard, stuffed my towel in my large dance bag, and closed the locker.
Normally, I would have showered and changed clothes, but there wasn’t time to do more than drop my dance bag in my room. Danny would have to understand that this would be a short lunch. I refused to go to my afternoon class in a sweaty leotard.
Danny was waiting for me in front of the dining hall. He looked perfect, reading for the country club. Danny was clean, freshly shaved, and wearing pressed khaki shorts with a polo shirt. What a mess I was! The contrast was startling. At least he knew I hadn’t dressed for him.
As I neared, I noticed Danny’s eyes fixated on my body. Only wearing footless tights, a tank leotard and gym shorts, I felt practically naked.
Danny’s smile and twinkling eyes lit up his face. How? My hair, dirty from sweat, was pulled back in a ponytail. I was completely unattractive.
“Hey, Sweetheart,” Danny greeted me with a kiss on my cheek. My heart fluttered. It was impossible not to smile.
“Why so early?” I asked.
Danny took my hand. “I wanted you to sit next to me.”
“Maybe not. I’m stinky from dance.” I replied.
Danny tucked a damp hair behind my ear. “Your sweat smells sweet.” I looked at him as though he were nuts.
Cam and Rachel soon joined us, but I badly needed to shower so I didn’t linger.
After I finished my salad I stood up and said, “I’ve got to shower. I’ll see you guys later.”
“I’ll walk you,” Danny eagerly volunteered. Bewildered, Cam and Rachel stared first at Danny and then at me.
“You can stay. I think I can find it.”
--------------------
“Elizabeth, what’s going on? You don’t sound depressed anymore.”
I blushed, embarrassed that Mom could read me in two words. I leaned back against my desk chair uncertain how to respond. Why fight it? Anything short of the truth, Mom would see through.
“You’re right,” I admitted. “Now I’m confused. It’s Danny,” I began.
“That much I assumed.”
I explained to Mom the goings on of the last twenty-four hours.
“What does he want Elizabeth? Have you confronted Danny?”
“No. I’m hiding in my room tonight. Danny is making me uncomfortable.”
“So you haven’t asked why after breaking your heart he’s now pursuing you?” Mom sounded like a prosecutor, intimidating me.
“No. I haven’t,” I responded sheepishly.
“You’re impossible. Elizabeth, you don’t want the answer, do you? You’re hoping Danny’s changed his mind, but you’re afraid you could be wrong.”
“Is that so terrible?”
“He cheated, Elizabeth,” Mom firmly reminded me, “And not for the first time. Danny’s not to be trusted.”
“I’m aware of that, Mother!” I answered defensively.
“But you love Danny.”
“I do. And last night Danny told me he would always love me.”
“This is the strangest breakup, but until you speak to Danny directly you’re going to keep torturing yourself. Elizabeth, you have to find out where you stand, even if it hurts. Get it over with.”
Mom was right, but I was afraid to take the risk. Maybe I didn’t want to confront reality. I was scared. Part of me, a large part, needed to believe Danny desired me again.
Midway through Professor Dennison’s class the next afternoon, I decided that painful as it might be, Danny and I had to have a heart-to-heart.
In my mind I replayed lunch, where again Danny had sat so close. Then, after eating, Danny had helped me into my raincoat and wrapped his arm possessively around my shoulder as we left for class. I was forgetting that Danny wasn’t mine anymore, and that’s how I knew it was time to have the discussion.
Rain was falling when class ended and I enjoyed the envious glares directed my way as Danny again helped me into my raincoat. Overly solicitous, Danny gently lifted my hair out of the collar and straightened the lapels, all the while keeping his dark sapphires locked on me.
Danny’s smoldering eyes melted me as he assumed they would. I had to avert mine to remain upright. If only the jealous girls glaring at me were aware of what a difficult man he was to live with. They would no longer be envious of this display of courtly good manners.
After belting my Burberry mini-trench that was more fashionable than functional given the sheets of rain falling, I reached into my canvas tote bag and removed the mini umbrella I had grabbed at the last minute. When opened, it became full-sized.
“I’ll carry your bag if I can put my books in there,” Danny offered.
I giggled at my advantage. Danny wore only a cotton hoodie. At least it covered his head, but Danny would get drenched if I didn’t quickly offer him some kindness. We fast approached the building door.
I opened my tote for his books and smiled. “I’ll do you one better. I’ll carry the bag, you hold the umbrella.”
“Thanks, Eli. You’re my lifesaver.” Danny kissed the top of my head.
Buckets of rain assaulted us. No matter how close Danny and I huddled under the umbrella, we still got soaked. Chilly air was being ushered in by the storm. The calendar didn’t say it, but summer was ending.
Steaming cups of hot chocolate topped with lots of whipped cream was the perfect antidote for our shivers. Danny handed me my mug after he paid for our drinks at the Café. Our fingers touched, unleashing an electric current. Danny flinched. He felt it too.
“Your hands are ice cold. Let me.”
Danny took my hands and gently massaged them. My insides warmed and tingled. Then he tenderly kissed the top of each one.
“Better?” Danny asked, those potent sapphire eyes meeting my gaze.
“Much,” I smiled, and I sipped my drink. Then I nibbled at my cookie. Danny did the same. Our eyes never left each other. I grinned like a fool, enjoying Danny’s pursuit.
Difficult as it was to keep my wits about me, I summoned the strength to broach the uncomfortable subject.
“Danny, what’s going on? With us?” I asked tentatively.
“What do you mean, Elizabeth?”
Ugh! Danny answering my question with a question was so predictable.
“You know what I mean. Thursday you broke up with me. It’s only Tuesday and you’re kissing my hands.”
Danny smiled shyly and leaned forward in his chair.
“You were heartbroken,” he said softly.
“Danny, you confessed to an affair, and then you had the audacity to brake up with me,” I scowled. “I wanted to do the dumping.”
Danny grinned, then he turned serious. “I didn’t realize how bad off I left you until I saw Randi. I thought if she had traveled all night... I never wanted to hurt you, Eli. You have no idea how awful I feel.”
“Good.” I said emphatically.
“I deserve that.”
“You do,” I agreed.
“While you relaxed at your five-star spa, do you know what I did last weekend?”
“I’m sure it’s no concern of mine,” I said coldly. I didn’t want to hear about the girls he picked up while partying.
“Probably not, but you should know. I spent the weekend alone and wasted. I couldn’t face myself, because I had hurt the most important person in my life, and by Sunday I didn’t understand why. I’ll give your mother credit though. Randi hitting me got my thinking started.”
“Mom’s good that way.”
Danny rubbed his bruised cheek. “It still hurts.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No you’re not. Be honest.”
“I’m a little sorry?”
“Nice try. Alright, I’ll believe you,” Danny laughed. “When I saw you at dinner Sunday, I was confused. You looked so beautiful and you weren’t upset. I was hurt because you didn’t seem hurt.”
“Danny, how could you have been hurt?”
“I assumed you’d be distraught.”
“You wanted me to be distraught?”
“Of course not. But when you weren’t, I thought I could have been wrong about us. Perhaps I didn’t mean as much to you as I thought I had.”
I smirked. “You couldn’t really think that?” Wow! Danny had insecurities just like everyone else. That didn’t seem possible
“Part of me was having doubts, Eli. That’s why I insisted on our study date.”
“You sat so close. It didn’t make sense.”
“You behaved so coolly. I was testing your reaction. You quivered, so your coolness was a façade.”
“Is that why you kissed me? Another test?”
“No. Once I confirmed you didn’t hate me, I regretted what I had done.”
“Which part did you regret?”
“Both parts, but especially the part where I broke up with you. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.”
“I’m glad you realize that.”
Danny reached for my hands and gazed intently into my eyes.
“Can we reset the clock and pretend it’s still last Wednesday? Please?” he asked in a voice resembling a small child wanting forgiveness from his mother.
Wednesday? “I don’t remember Wednesday.”
“That’s why I chose it. Wednesday is before I made a mess of everything.”
“Danny, you made a mess of everything way before Wednesday. I don’t think we can go back to Wednesday unless you have a potion that can make me forget Thursday.”
“I feared you’d say something like that.” Danny smiled, his eyes crinkling.
“Danny, you may want to reverse breaking up with me, but that leaves issues of trust and commitment. You admitted to some really heinous stuff.”
I was treading in dangerous waters where I didn’t know how Danny would respond. In those old procedural courtroom dramas the star always followed the maxim, “don’t ask the witness any question you don’t already know the answer to.” My statement had just violated Rule Number One.
“You’re right, Elizabeth.”
“Think about it, Danny. You know what’s important to me.”
“Help me with my thinking, Eli.”
“How can I do that?” I asked, confused.
Danny took my face in his hands. With tender passion he pressed his lips against mine and kissed me like so many times before.
“Oh,” I said, my wide eyes, showing pleased surprise.