AN//: This chapter is based on The Pretty Reckless song called You. Give it a listen. All characters belong to Euphoria and rightful owners.
"You don't want me, no
You don't need me
Like I want you, oh
Like I need you
And I want you in my life
And I need you in my life."
She of course saw them. They made no effort to hide their loving PDA in the cafeteria full of their peers and a few teachers. I mean why would they?
Rue had finally gotten the girl she'd always wanted.
Jules sat practically on top of Rue, her head nestled in the crook where her neck and shoulder met. No doubt breathing in the smell of her lover.
Lexi read an article in one of Cassie's many cheesy, teen magazines that when you're in a relationship, you grew attached to your partners pheromones.
"It doesn't matter what kind of perfume, cologne, or shampoo your partner wears — whatever it is, it's probably one of your favorite scents. For example, you used to roll your eyes when you caught a whiff of Axe body spray because it reminded you of overly enthusiastic teenage boys. But it became your personal catnip when your girlfriend started wearing it; the smell of her skin is intoxicating. When you smell someone you care about, logic goes out the window, and the scent of their skin becomes more alluring than a fresh-baked pie wafting through an open window."
What a load of horseshit. Well, Lexi couldn't actually say that as she was practically a nun and had no experience to even test the pheromone theory on.
"I love you. So fucking much."
Lexi heard it even though Rue whispered it into Jules ear. Lexi could see Jules shiver as Rue's breath tickled her.
Lexi felt her stomach turn and her palms became sweaty as she struggled to hold back the bile that rose in her throat. She got up with such suddenness that Rue looked at her confused as to what caused the abrupt move on Lexi's part.
"I, uh, I have to go." Lexi stammered as the acid burnt her throat from the vomit she was holding back.
Rue looked at her with a touch of concern and made a move to say something but Jules interrupted whatever she was going to say.
"Remember the party starts at 9. But be at my place at 7 and we can all get ready together." Jules smiled softly at Lexi.
Lexi hated that she liked Jules. She was a great person. But it just made everything that much harder. She wanted a reason to hate her but she just couldn't.
Jules tried extra hard with Lexi as she knew Lexi and Rue had been best friends since kindergarten. She wanted Rue's friends to like her. Lexi could understand but it still made everything suck that much more.
She was too soft and the guilt ate her alive everytime she looked at Rue.
"Yeah, no, of course. I'll be there." Lexi mumbled and shot the couple a small smile before sprinting off.
"You can't see me, no
Like I see you
I can't have you, no
Like you have me
And I want you in my life
And I need you in my life"
Lexi walked in the door to the stale stench of alcohol, cigarette smoke and burnt food. No doubt her mother had tried to cook a meal and in her drunken stupor had forgotten it on the stove. Again.
Lexi made her way to the kitchen and made sure the stove was off. She didn't trust her mother to be a responsible adult for once and make sure she didn't burn the place down.
So Lexi had to be the adult. And she didn't mind that much. She was really good at looking after people.
Lexi made quick work of packing a backpack full of things she'd need for the party. Dread filling her stomach while doing so.
Once Lexi had accomplished that task she made quick work on doing her chores.
Do the laundry.
Fold the laundry.
Pack away the laundry.
Warm up a meal for her mother and Cassie and feeding Mr Dumbledore, their fat ginger cat who looked at her in what she could only describe as arrogant distaste. As if he was the head of this household.
And she guessed it was true.
"Whatever, Dumblefuck. Eat it or starve."
Lexi said it with an affectionate smile while moving into her bedroom to get her backpack.
Lexi was just about to head out when her mother spoke from the couch she had been passed out on.
"Where are you going, Lex. It's nearing dinner time. I cooked your favorite. Thought we'd watch the new episode of The Bachelor together."
Lexi grit her teeth and turned to her mother trying her best to hide her irritation.
"You let it burn so I heated up a meal for you and Cassie. It's in the oven. I'm going to Jules and Rue's party."
"Oh, okay. Well, be safe. Don't do anything I wouldn't do, kid."
Lexi knew the list was small of things her mother wouldn't do and grimaced in disgust.
"Sure, mom. See you."
Lexi made no rush in getting to Jules place. The longer she went without seeing them all over eachother, the better for her sanity and wellbeing.
But she couldn't keep up the snail pace much longer lest she make it there at midnight.
Jules house was every millennials wet dream. Modern and drowned in white, grey and black. Minimalistic and art pieces decorated the walls.
Lexi hesitated before knocking. She braced her shoulders and took a calming breath.
"Lexi!" Jules pulled Lexi in for a hug as if they hadn't just seen eachother a few hours prior.
Lexi smelt Jules. And Rue. Her hair was in Lexi's face so she couldn't avoid having Jules scent lodged up her nasal cavity. She smelled sweet but not overpowering. And with a touch of Rue as well. A smell that Lexi could pick from a line up.
"Rue's just having a quick shower but she should be done soon." Jules flounced away towards the kitchen, looking very content. Well, of course she would be. This was her home after all.
Lexi noted that Jules was in nothing but a towel. It clung to her subtle curves, her legs looked they went on for days. Her toenails painted a soft lilac and her fingernails were the same color as well.
"Do you want something to drink? We have tea, coffee, soda, kombucha..." Jules trailed off while sticking her head in the fridge searching for something that Lexi would want to drink.
"Uh, no thanks. I'm good for now." Lexi said trying her best not to stare while Jules was on her tippy toes, the towel had ridden up showing Lexi more of those legs.
Jules turned to her while closing the fridges door, she had a gentle smile on her face.
"You okay, Lex?"
Lexi could see concern in her eyes and rushed to crush the overwhelming guilt she felt.
"Yeah, totally. Just a bit tired. Had to clean up when I got home and organize dinner for my mom and Cassie as well as our cat so I'm just a bit out of it." Lexi flinched when she heard herself starting to ramble.
Jules stared at her for a second longer and then gently tugged her upstairs to her bedroom.
"Come. Rue should be done now."
Jules room was just as minimalistic as the rest of the house. Everything was either black, grey or white the only bit of color coming from her closet where all her outfits hung. The windows were open wide letting in the cool summer breeze along with the smell of freshly cut grass probably from it being mowed earlier that day.
Lexi jumped a few feet in the air as she felt a hand smack her ass and a voice whisper in her ear.
"Hey shmexy Lexi. Was wondering when you'd get here."
Rue was in nothing but a towel but she was wearing a cheeky little grin all while going toward her bag that was shoved in the corner, rummaging through it for her outfit.
Lexi swallowed nervously and looked at Jules who didn't even seem phased that her girlfriend had just smacked another girl's ass. I mean, of course she wouldn't be phased. This was ,after all, normal Rue behavior when it was just them.
"Do you guys want me to go out while you get dressed or?" Lexi stammered trying her best to avert her eyes.
"Don't be silly." Jules smiled at Lexi all while dropping her towel and putting on her panties, well they weren't Lexi's usual granny panties, more risqué. That was followed by Jules trademark stockings.
Rue was... well Rue. Lexi felt guilty to have been disappointed noting that Rue was half way dressed and currently buttoning up her shirt she had on. A simple black shirt and skinny jeans.
Love
Love
Love
Lexi wasn't sure how she got here but she was currently lying on Jules bed while the host herself was straddling Lexi. She insisted on doing Lexi's makeup and said it would be so much fun. Lexi could only disagree in her head.
Jules looked at Rue who sat on the bed looking at Lexi's makeup being done with a goofy, soft smile on her face.
"And that goofy smile is for...?" Jules questioned with her own smile at her girlfriend.
"Just enjoy seeing my two favorite girls getting on."
Lexi felt her stomach drop again and her the guilt rise.
"You lovable sap, Bennett."
Jules said while leaning over and pressing a brief kiss to Rue's lips who was only to happy to oblige.
Lexi tried not to fidget and looked away while her heart beat a mile a minute. This was getting painful.
"Thanks Jules for doing my makeup. I'm pretty hopeless when it comes to it."
"Not a problem. At least you're open to having more than just glitter on. Rue refuses anything else put on her face other than glitter." Jules shot a cheeky grin to her girlfriend.
"And a beautiful girl, of course." Rue said with a naughty wink.
Jules blushed and averted her gaze from the both of them. Unwillingly Lexi's lower regions clenched at the thought of- no she couldn't go there. Not now. Maybe at home under her blanket while shame consumed her she'd go down that dark path but not now.
Three hours later Lexi found herself on one of the faux leather sofa's in Jules living room while the pounding music vibrated the sofa. She held an untouched drink in her hand tightly. She could see them clearly on the dance floor from her viewpoint.
Rue had Jules in her arms and they were swaying to the beat. Jules had her head thrown back and Rue was mouthing at the length of her neck.
Lexi tried to look away but she was captivated by the two of them together. They were truly in their own world that only the two of them existed in. It was torture but it still made her stomach tighten to watch it happen before her very eyes. She was sick in the head. She was sure of it.
Lexi suddenly felt a head on her shoulder and nearly jumped out of her own skin.
"I want to get nachos." Cassie slurred in her ear.
Cassie was here with Mckay who was currently in the kitchen with Nate Jacob's and the other guys in their group, laughing at something on Nate's phone. Probably at the misfortune of some poor unfortunate girl. They were pigs. All of them.
"Nachos? What ever would dear mother say at her perfect-figured daughter wanting something so unhealthy?" Lexi said in mock seriousness.
"Yeah, well. What momma don't know , won't hurt her." Cassie mumbled reaching for Lexi's drink.
"I think you've had enough, Cas." Lexi gently pulled the drink out of Cassie's grasp.
Cassie turned to her with a pout on her lips.
"But I want it." Cassie even stuck out her lip like a child. Exactly the reason Lexi said she shouldn't have more. She acted like a child when drunk.
"Come Cas. Let's get you home." McKay said as he seemingly came out of nowhere. He pulled up his girlfriend and took most of her weight.
Lexi was okay with McKay. I mean he still hung out with Nate and his crowd so he was no Saint but he was okay.
"I'll be checking she's home safe in her bed when I get back, McKay." Lexi said it with a bite in her tone to let him know she was serious.
"Yes mom." Cassie giggled as she hung on McKay.
Lexi watched them go and took her phone out to message her mom to let her know when Cassie was home safe. That's if her mother was coherent enough to look at her phone.
Lexi looked around at the crowd of people filling up Jules house.
Couples kissing in corners, friends dancing together, people like her just sitting or standing on their own watching everything around them.
Lexi felt her phone vibrate with a message about 15 minutes later and was surprised to see her mother had actually answered.
"Cassie's home."
Lexi let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and felt her shoulders sag I relief. That was one thing she could worry less about tonight.
Suddenly Lexi had a lap full of Jules while Rue pushed herself close to the both of them. Her arm around the both of them.
"Why aren't you dancing with us?" Rue said in her ear.
Lexi tried her best to contain the shiver that went through her body but it was difficult with the two of them currently giving her sensory overload. Jules comforting weight on her lap and Rue right next to her, practically on her lap as well. She could smell them both and it clouded her senses. She had no excuse as she hadn't had a drop of alcohol. This was just her and her depraved mind and body doing the work.
"You know I'm not the dancing type, Rue."
Lexi mumbled trying her best to keep her mind from the beautiful blonde and brunette in her personal space.
Before she could process what was going on, Jules was off her lap and Rue was pulling both of them towards the dance floor.
Well dance floor was a stretch it was more the rug in the middle of the living room.
Suddenly Lexi was between both Rue and Jules. Rue in front of her and Jules behind her. Both their arms were around her waist and pulled her flush to them. All Lexi could feel was skin. Sweaty, flushed skin. Lexi felt a breath escape her and her body shiver.
They danced to the beat of the song and Lexi for the first time in years, let go. She moved with them. And for the first time, she entered their world and it was beautiful. Lexi was captivated.
A few songs must have passed, Lexi couldn't even tell how many. Jules currently had her face in the crook of Lexi's neck. Lexi could of sworn she felt Jules mouthing at her flushed skin.
Lexi opened her eyes not knowing she had closed them and saw Rue staring at the both of them, her normal brown eyes now completely black. Lexi was sure it was the lighting.
Lexi whimpered when she felt Jules nip her neck and arched her back without realizing what she was doing, unknowingly pushing her pelvis into Rue's.
Rue's eyes seemed to darken further and she leant forward and placed her lips on Lexi's neck on the other side to where Jules was peppering kisses.
Lexi felt another bite, this time from Rue and if it wasn't for both of them holding her up, her legs would of buckled and she would have fallen in an ungraceful heap.
Lexi mewled when Rue licked her bite mark, Lexi startled not realizing at first that she was the one that made that sound.
Jules was nuzzling into Lexi's hair and rubbing Lexi's hip where Lexi's shirt had ridden up.
"You are so fucking beautiful, Lex." Rue mumbled against her neck.
Lexi nearly wept at that declaration. How long had she waited for Rue to say something like that.
It was like a bucket of cold ice cold water was thrown over Lexi and she pulled herself our of their grasp and put some space between them all. Lexi looked around expecting people to be looking at them in disgust or shock but everyone was in their own world. Lexi doubted they even knew Lexi was there at all.
Lexi braved a glance at Rue and Jules who were looking at her with knowing eyes. No anger at what just happened just tiny smiles pulling at the corner of their mouths.
"You're going to sleep here tonight." Rue said.
It wasn't a question it was a statement. Lexi tried to think of excuse she could give. Maybe she could tell them her mom would be pissed if she didn't come home but Rue would know its bullshit. Her mother would be passed out on the sofa no doubt a drink in hand and an empty Valium card next to her.
"No buts." Jules said helping Rue reinforce it.
"We have to clear the place. It's nearing 4am. Dad will be home at 10am." Jules said as she started to turn down the music and tell everyone it was time to go. There were some moaning and groaning but the crowds eventually cleared. It took an hour to get everyone out but eventually it was just the three of them.
One thought kept running through her mind.
Oh fuck.