"How is she?"
"There's no change. Is this the M.C.A. doppler?"
"It is, yeah. Do you need coffee or —"
"I'm fine. I'm fine. Thanks."
The moment Derek's taken the films out of my hands, he's returned to Jenny's bedside. I flash a warm smile at Jenny and Rob before walking off.
"He's still beating himself up? Do you think he's still beating himself up?"
Lexie runs up to my side by the desk like a lost puppy, reaching over the counter to grab the patient file for me.
"Don't worry —"
"The head of neurosurgery hasn't left his patient's bedside for three days." She lifts up three fingers. "Do you really think he's fine?"
"He's fine, Lex." I reassure her with a confident glint.
"Leven, page Addison." Derek walks out of the room temporarily. "Tell her I need her to stay."
And he's gone the next moment.
"Are you fine?"
". . .I'll get back to you."
Due to her mini-strokes and aphasia, we have to take her back into surgery and perform an EC-IC bypass. All the while, Addison monitors her and the baby.
"Make sure he planes the patio. . .plates the. . ."
"We'll get him piano lessons, yes."
"Only puddle shell. . .uh. . .only public —"
"Public school. So he doesn't become a snob, I know. But I don't have to, because you're gonna be there to make sure I don't turn him into a jerk." Rob walks his wife to the doors of the O.R. wing.
"We're here." Derek informs them quietly.
"I love just. . ."
"I know. You love me. And I love you. I'll see you in a few." His voice breaks.
They share a loving kiss before separating. . .until they see each other again after the surgery.
"Dr. Shepherd, her, um, blood pressure's slightly higher from yester." I notify him of the hopefully harmless change.
"We can't wait."
"Of course, I know, but —"
"You want me to be aware. I understand."
His hand reaches to cup my cheek, not caring that we're standing in front of Addison, Alex, and our patient.
"You're a good doctor, and I'm a good doctor. . .let's be good together."
The beginning of the surgery goes well, me and Derek working with each other while Addison keeps watch from the side.
"The baby's having spontaneous decels." Alex relays at the sound of the erratic beeps from the monitor.
"Mom's hypotensive." Addison adds.
I look over at the neurosurgeon. "Derek, I don't think they can handle any more of this."
"The M.C.A. is bleeding a bit. It shouldn't be contributing." He disregards quickly. "Sutures, please."
"BP's falling, Derek." I notice the number drastically dropping. "We need to get the baby out."
"I'm almost done, Leven. Just wait." He mutters under his breath.
"It's not her that can't wait." Addison supports my thought process.
"The decels are getting more frequent."
"A 24-week-old fetus can't handle this — three surgeries in four days. We have to get the baby out, Derek."
"The baby is too young to come out."
"Last decel lasted a full 30 seconds."
Alex and Addison prepare to cut Jenny's belly open when Derek alerts them that he's finished. The monitors stabilize a moment after, proving his word to be true.
"You don't get much rest, do you, Dr. Shepherd?"
Jenny opens her eyes, a grin instantly forming on her tired face.
"Did you hear yourself just then?"
Derek, Rob, and I share a gentle laugh at the words coming out of her mouth — they make perfect sense.
"Oh, my God." She holds her stomach in surprise. "Oh, my God. I can-I can talk."
Rob strokes her bandaged head. "I know! Listen to you."
The handsome neurosurgeon and I share a knowing look, happy to see the couple finally out of harm's way.
But that only lasts a minute since Addison enters the room, Alex trailing behind her, to inform them that she's preeclamptic.
Outside of the Harmons' room, Derek and Addison arguing in hushed, rage-filled whispers — even bringing up their former marriage — while Alex and I easily eavesdrop.
Derek stomps off with Jenny's patient file, and Addison sends Alex to collect the results of her blood test.
"Leven, give me one reason why I shouldn't go to the chief."
"I get that he's a little attached to the patient, but —"
"He made a mistake in her first surgery, he caused a series of complications, he feels responsible for her."
"The more it affects him. . .the more he cares."
"I'm trusting you, Leven."
"Don't trust me, Addison. Trust him."
The next time we're in surgery, Derek's ego gets the better of him and boosts him to finish the surgery, even if all signs point for him to stop.
He cuts parts of her brain out as she bleeds out: the temporal lobe, the frontal lobe. . .
Addison and I both plead with him to stop tearing her apart and making her into an emotionless monster her husband and child don't need to see.
The two attendings lift their scalpels in a battle over who to save: the woman or the baby.
"Leven. . ."
"Derek, she's gone, alright? It's too late for her, but we can save the baby."
Addison refuses to drop her scalpel, which only encourages Derek to keep his directly near the frontal lobe.
"Let her go. And let Addison save her son."
Regardless, Alex runs over to the next door O.R. to retrieve the chief and settle this scalpel battle once and for all.
By the time they return, Derek forces his way through and removes the frontal lobe, leaving the rest of us to watch.
"The baby's still in distress. I need to take it out."
"Wait. Just wait. The bleeding could stop. The baby could stabilize. If you do a C-section now, she'll lose too much blood, and she'll die."
"She is dead, Derek."
"Please. Just. . .wait."
"Most of her brain is gone. For all intents and purposes, she's dead."
Chief Webber turns to the visiting attending and gives her the wordless nod, allowing her to proceed on saving the baby.
"Stop cutting."
"Derek, stop it. She's gone." I try to snap him out of this devastating want to save what's already lost.
"Why are you cutting?" He chooses to ignore me and watch Addison. "Phoenix, get some more blood. She needs more blood."
I look to the chief, begging him with my eyes to help me help Derek. He gives me a similar look and takes my place next to the doctor.
"Get more blood. She needs more blood."
"No more blood, Derek. No more blood."
Arizona Robbins, the new pediatric attending, takes the preemie with her to give him a fighting chance at life.
On the other hand. . .the moment her baby is removed from her womb, Jenny's heart gives up as the monitor flatlines.
The surgical nurses and doctors pause in their movement while Derek makes the first move to leave the O.R.. No one dares to say a word to the grief-stricken doctor, blinded by his own need to save her.
Outside, Addison, Alex, and I explain to Rob what happened to his wife, how she died so suddenly in there. And Derek. . .he can't utter a single word.
----------
One, two, three, four, five, six. . .
It takes six shots of tequila for Derek to pass out on our living room couch, fresh tears still lingering over his cheeks.
"I didn't know you kept hard liquor here." Cristina grasps the half-empty bottle of tequila deserted on the kitchen counter.
"I don't." My hand runs through strands of hair. "Derek bought it after he left the hospital."
Meredith glances at the time. "Should we just leave him like that?"
"Yeah, we should."
"Why?"
"Because I'm scared of what he'll do if he wakes up."