Peter can't think straight. He just storms off the house and doesn't have a plan to where to go. There are a lot of things on his mind.
"How can they do that to me? This is not about them! Don't I get to chose what the hell I want? Wasn't I the one who was fucking raped!? FUCK!"
-FUCK!
And then, an intrusive thought goes through his mind. He thinks he should go to the house. Where everything happened. To fucking punch the guy in the face. That's a good idea.
Then, he starts running and panicking at the same time. And when he least expects, he's in front of the house. His heart is really accelerated, he's sweating, his hands are shaking and it feels like he's just about to pass out.
He stands there for ten minutes. His hands are closed in fists. He's destroyed and extremely angry.
But he just can't. He's just in the sidewalk staring at the perfectly good house where the man probably lives a perfect life with his loving wife and kids. And he's probably living his best life like nothing had happened yesterday. Like he hadn't just ruined his life. How could he!? How.. How could he do that? How can he look at his wife after what he had done?? How will he be able to look at his Daddy and his Pops after what he had done to their son?
And that's when he falls into the ground, having a panic attack. All he can do is cry.
After a few moments, he grabs his phone to call his father. He can't take this anymore.
He looks at the phone. It has 10 missed calls from each of them. It has passed 3 hours and they were worried about him. Peter had completely lost track of time. Thank God nobody important noticed him just standing there.
After 2 rings, Tony answers the phone.
-D—Dad?
-Peter! Thank God! We're worried about you! Where are you!?
-D—Dad.. P—Please.. pick me up... please, daddy...
-Where are you?
-I'm.. I'm at that house.. That house.. Where..
-Oh God! Are you inside? Are you hurt?
-No! No! I.. I'm outside!
-Okay.. Ahm.. We're coming.. Stay there!
-Come quick.. Please..
-I will, kid.. Hold on! Bye.
It starts raining heavily.
*****
-What? (Steve)
-He's standing outside that house all this time. C'mon, let's get him.
They go by car and arrive there in 5 minutes.
They find a very broken looking Peter. He's terrified and shaking. Once more.
Tony gives him his jacket so he can warm up.
Tony puts his arms around his child and gently rubs his arms.
-C'mon, kid. Let's go home.
-Daddy? I'm sorry..
-Yeah, sweetie. It's me. C'mon.. Let's get you home.. It's okay.. (Tony answers in a soothing voice)
They all enter in the car. Steve is driving and Tony is with Peter in the backseat, with his cheek resting above Peter's head. He has his eyes closed and is holding his son tightly.
When they arrive home, they all need a moment to recover from what just happened.
-C'mon kid, you need a shower. Let's go.(Tony)
They slowly go upstairs to Peter's bathroom.
And this time, Steve's the one who can't say anything. He just walks with them.
-Okay, Pete. Take a shower. We're gonna wait. Here, get some clothes. Call if you need anything.
He just goes to the shower.
They sit down on his bed and just wait.
-Are you okay, love? (Tony)
-Yeah.. I'm just.. concerned..
-Yeah, me too. I mean.. He can't just wander around like that..
-We gotta find him a therapist. He has to talk to someone.
-I know.. We will. We will...
After half an hour, Peter gets out of the bathroom in his pajamas.
-Hi, sweetie. Are you feeling better? (Tony)
-Yeah. Sorry if I freaked you out.
-No, it's okay. C'mere. Let me brush your hair.
Peter lets out a smile.
-Thanks, Daddy.
Tony kisses his head.
It's silent for a moment. But, surprisingly Peter is the first one to talk.
-I.. uh.. Sorry for walking out like that and not answering your calls.. I didn't hear.
-It's fine. We're just glad you're okay. But thank you. (Steve)
-Done. Huh.. I missed brushing your hair. You used to let me, you know. (Tony)
-Dad, I was 14! I'm 16 now, almost 17.
-I know, I know.. You're all grown up. But you'll always be my spiderling.
-Oh God..
They laugh a bit.
-Pete.. (Steve)
-Dad, please..
-Peter, you have to say something! Anything! We're worried about you. You.. You were hurt and we don't even know who did that to you. And you can't just go to the perp's house! What the hell were you going to do?
-Steve.. Stop it..
-No! I— I mean! Don't I have the right to know who raped my child!?
Tony notices Peter is shaking.
-Steven, stop it! Stop!
He lets out an angry breath. And then realizes what he's done.
-Ahm.. I'm sorry.. Dammit! I'm so sorry, Pete.. This isn't your fault.. I'm sorry.. I'm not mad at you..
Peter just nods.
-We can do this later, okay? What do you want for lunch, kid? (Tony)
-Anything, it's fine..
-C'mon, don't you want a burger or something? It's 2 o'clock, you must be hungry.
-Burger is fine..
-Okay.. I'm gonna order then for us. Do you want us to stay here or?
-I.. I wanna be alone..
-'Kay.. When the food arrives I'll call you.
And then, Peter is left alone with his thoughts.
*****
-Tones..
-Don't.. How could you treat him like that!? Hasn't he been through enough?
-I wasn't mad at him..
-But he thought you were. He already thinks it's his fault and he's gonna be traumatized for the rest of his life! He doesn't need more of that shit!
-I'm so sorry... I.. I don't know what to say.
Tony has to breathe for a moment before he can answer.
-I.. I'm sorry too.. I know you were just.. as scared as him.. I understand.. But you're gonna need to talk to him better about this.
-I know.. Thank you, Tony..
*****
Peter has too many messages on his cellphone. Most are from Ned and MJ. But he can't bare to talk to them right now.
Others are from his classmates talking about the video.
There's one in particular that caught his attention. It's from a number he doesn't recognize.
"If you tell your parents anything about us, I swear I'lll kill them and make everyone believe you did it. See u Monday"
Great. Now they can never know.
He gets the blade and cuts his wrist again. It doesn't even hurt anymore. It's just normal now.
He tries to take his mind off of it, but it's in everything he does. The man's face just keeps popping out inside his brain, he can't concentrate on the TV, his mind can't stop thinking about it, he can't stop feeling disgusting, feeling dirty, feeling guilty. He's hurting his parents. He deserved it. If he wasn't such a disgusting fat whore, none of this would be happening. He knew the guy was accused of verbally harassing some girls and a few boys before. He heard the whole school talking about how of an asshole Axl's father was and still, he went to their house. He knew he wasn't a good person and still, he let him,
talked to him, he let him threaten him, he let him punch him. He has super strength for fucks sake! How the hell did that happen?
And he starts crying again. What an asshole.
-Peter, it seems you're having a panic attack. Should I call your father? (FRIDAY)
-No, no, FRI.. Thanks. I'm okay..
-Are you sure?
-Y—Yeah..
-Alright, Peter. But I'm here if you need anything.
-Thank you..
Talking to her calmed him down.
He was doing so well.. He was finally starting to feel good about himself, to feel a bit happy.. To be grateful. But then, this man arrived in his life and changed it forever.. Why can't he just be happy? Why did it happen to him? What has he done? And he can't even tell his parents because they will never believe them. Steven Wescott is such a reliable person, a great security guard and a good friend. How could he say that he's also a fucking pedophile? He can't and he won't. He won't..
*****
-What did FRIDAY say about.. the video, Tony?
-I think it was really deleted..
-But what about the thousands of people who saw it? And.. And thought it was porn? Like.. Jesus Christ! What the fuck is wrong with people!? He's clearly a teenager! He's sixteen, Tony! My baby boy!
Tears start running through his cheeks. Tony holds his hands and caresses them. Also sobbing
-Steve, Steve, honey, look at me. Look at me. I'm looking for a lawyer, okay? The best one there is. And I'm gonna do everything to put that monster in jail! Okay? Calm down, we're okay...
Steve takes a deep breath.
-Okay.. Thank you, honey.. I love you..
-Thanks.. I love you more..
He kisses his hands.
-Okay, the food is almost here. I hope Pete likes it. (Tony)
-I just hope his bulimia doesn't come back now..
-God.. there's that.. It is a possibility..
-I know.. Jesus... He's just a kid, Tony..
-Yeah.. He's just a kid.. And we're gonna protect him.
After a few more minutes, the food arrives.
-Let me get it. Be right back. Call Peter!
-'Kay
*****
-Hey, kiddo. The food is here. C'mon.
-Alright.
Steve is glad that he's still able to eat. And that is enough for today. That his child can allow himself to eat.
*****
-Here, kid, got your favorite.
-Thanks, Dad.
They enjoy a very tasteful lunch in a good silence for once. Peter seems to be enjoying food without guilt. That's a big step and they're very proud of him.
After they finish they watch TV. And the first movie is "The Perks Of Being A Wallflower".
It is a really nice movie. And Steve seems to be enjoying as well. Tony hates to admit it, but a teenage movie sometimes is nice.
And then, of course, since Peter can't catch a fucking break, the plot explains that the main caracther was abused by his aunt when he was a kid.
And the memories of the party show up all at once. He can't even process it at first he's panicking, only after he finds himself on the ground, throwing up.
Tony gets down on his knees to make sure he's okay and touches his back to comfort him.
-DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME! GET AWAY FROM ME!
He accidentally pushes Tony way too hard and he falls on the ground behind him. But he doesn't mind, it's okay.
-Steve, turn the tv off! STEVE! TURN IT OFF!
Steve's too nervous to process anything at all.
-I can't I can't! FUCKING CHRIST!
After what it felt like forever, he can turn the damn thing off.
They all stop for a moment. Peter is sobbing.
-Underoos?
-I'm sorry, Daddy..
-No no, it's okay, baby.. Go.. Go take a shower and brush your teeth, alright?
Peter just nods.
Tony and Steve clean the vomit.
After nearly an hour, Tony decides he has to check on Peter.
-I'm gonna check on him.
He knocks on the door.
-Peter? Can I come in?
-Yeah.
-Hi, sweetie.. How are you feeling?
-Better..
-Can I sit down?
-I—I guess..
He sits down on the chair. He notices there's already tears in his son's eyes. The kid refuses to look at him.
-Baby.. please, look at me.. We need to talk..
-I don't want to.
-Peter, I'm sorry, but you have to. I know this is very unfair and I don't wanna put you through all of that once more, but don't you want the boy in jail?
-Don't treat me like I'm a victim..
-Peter.. you.. you were..
-I know! I was there!
Tony sighs.
-Tell me what I can do. I just wanna help you..
-Leave it alone. There's nothing you can do.
-Look at me.. Peter, look at me.
He finally does.
-As your father, I need to know what happened! And besides, it'll get this weight from you. You can't keep this to yourself forever.. And... And I don't know what else to do. I'm looking for a lawyer and a therapist. They'll know better. But, my job is to protect you. And.. I—I already failed at that once, I can't fail again. Please, talk to me, cub. Please.. You.. You don't have to say the details if you don't want to. But, at least something.. You're not alone..
-I can't, Daddy. It hurts too much.
Tony can't help himself and sits on the bed with his son, touching his face.
-I know, baby, I know it hurts. But you can do it. You're very brave. And I'm not gonna judge you, no matter what. I promise..
Peter takes a deep breath.
-I.. uh.. I was looking for the bathroom.. I found him on the way and asked him where was it. And he told me.. he told me he would take me there. I.. Dad...
-You're doing great, baby.. It's okay..
He takes another breath.
-Then, he shoved me inside. It.. It happened so fast. He locked the door. I froze, I completely forgot I could just punch him and defend myself. So.. ahm... He said if I.. didn't please.. him.. he would kill me. He had a knife. So.. ahm.. he punched me a lot of times and I started to feel dizzy. He grabbed me by my arm... And.. And put me on the bed.. I couldn't move.. My stomach hurt, I felt sick. He.. He made me... touch him.. I've never done that... So... h—he taught me.. And for that.. he touched me... It felt so weird. His hands.. Are so.. so big. He kept squeezing me. I didn't want to. I swear I didn't want to. Then I had to touch him again. I was almost throwing up. It's just.. so weird... So fucking weird. And ahm..
He.. He mouthed my.. well.. down there.. I.. I was already bleeding because he had bitten me more than twice. And I was so tired. God knows how tired I was!
And the next thing I know.. my face.. God, my face was against the sheets. And.. And I felt.. I felt him inside of me.. I thought I was going to die.. He.. He was grunting like a pig. And.. And moaning.. It hurt so bad. I felt so sore, so disgusting. I could feel everything.. He was sweating, squeezing me, hitting me.. I.. I just layed there.. For God knows how long. And then uh.. He just left me there.. Nobody saw me.. I was just bleeding.. And.. And I had to call you.. I didn't know what to do..
I'm so sorry, Daddy.. I'm so sorry!
Before Peter could blame himself even more, Tony instinctively hugged him as tightly as he could. Putting one hand on his head, then kissing it for a while and resting his chin above it, gently rocking his child back and forth. Crying as hard as him.
-I'm so sorry.. I'm so sorry.. My baby... My baby boy. Kid, I'm so sorry.. It's over now, it's okay. I've got you.. I'm so sorry.. Shh... It's okay, cub.. Shh.. I'm sorry..
He kept repeating this words as many times he could
Peter finally caves into the touch.
-I'm sorry, Daddy..
-Kid, you have nothing to apologize for. This isn't your fault. You did what you had to do to survive. It's okay.. I'm so sorry I couldn't save you.. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. I'm so sorry.. My baby... My son...
Tony just cries harder than he can. He's shaking.
-Daddy..
-I'm right here, cub. I've got you. I'll never let that happen to you again. Daddy's got you, kid.
He holds him even closer.
They both lay down on the bed now, still hugged. Tony kisses his head once more.
-Dad? Can I ask you something?
-Of course!
-Do you.. Do you think it's my fault?
-Peter—
-NO! I entered the bedroom! I knew he wasn't a good person. The school was talking about how he had harassed other girls and boys and I still went to that stupid fucking house! I didn't fight him! I'm fucking Spiderman and I didn't do anything! I'm the son of the multibillionaire and hero Tony Stark and I let some guy fuck me! What the hell is wrong with me? I shouldn't have said anything! It's my fault!
Tony lets go of the hug to properly look at Pete.
He takes a while to manage to say something.
-Peter, you're just a child! You can't blame yourself like that! You can't have this weight on your shoulders! And no one would know what to do in this situation!
-You would.
-No, I really wouldn't.
-Why did he choose me, Daddy? What have I done!?
-Peter, stop this! Of course it's not your fault! You're a child! You were threatened, you were scared and just wanted to survive. There's nothing wrong with that. You are a very brave boy and a wonderful person. And I'm so proud of you! Don't ever think, not even for a second, that what happened to you was your fault. Okay? Do you hear me?
-Daddy..
-Do you hear me? Can you understand that, baby?
He just nods.
They're both already crying.
Tony cleans his son's tears.
-It's not your fault. You're just a kid! You're just a kid.. Jesus.. C'mere.
Peter sobs. And that's when Tony hugs him tight again and kisses his head one more time.
-Baby... I love you so much.. More than anything.. I'm so sorry this happened to you.. I'm so sorry..
After God knows how long, they can both calm down and let go of the hug.
-Daddy, are you okay?
-Sorry, kid..
-It's fine..
-Well.. I'm not okay, but I have to because you're the one who's hurting. And I'm your father and that's my job.
-Dad, it's okay.. Really. I know this is a burden to carry..
-Hey, it's not a burden. You are not a burden!
......
-Do you.. Do you think I should tell the police? Like, they would really believe me?
-Of course they would. We have DNA
END OF CHAPTER